Souls of the Damned (Kat Redding) (12 page)

The sound of birds chirping woke me. I stretched and sat up in bed, somewhat dazed. Sometime during the night, I’d been moved so that when I woke, my head was on the pillow and a blanket covered me. I’d somehow slept through it, which wasn’t like me at all.

With a yawn, I rose and sludged my way across the dark bedroom, into the bathroom. I flipped on a light and jumped back in surprise when I saw my face.

Sienna stared back at me. It was strange knowing I was looking into a mirror and yet, not recognizing the face as my own. I ran my fingers down my cheek, stretching the skin as if I thought it might slough off, revealing the same old face I was used to.

“This is fucking weird.” Even my voice didn’t sound right.

I turned away from the mirror with a grimace. Smells and sights were muted from what I knew. I couldn’t hear as well as before either. It made me feel as if I was wrapped in cotton, or crippled, perhaps.

And then there was the whole washing thing. I really didn’t want to see Sienna naked, but if I was stuck with this body for any length of time, there was no helping it. I doubted I’d be able to go to Delai, find the summoner, kill him, and then get back to switch bodies before I started to stink.

I quickly stripped out of Sienna’s clothes, stepped into the shower, and tried to wash her body without actually touching anything.

It’s my body now,
I reminded myself. I needed to start thinking of it that way so that if I came across a situation where I needed to react quickly, I didn’t try to act like the vampire I once was. That would only get me killed.

Once I was clean, I dried off and hurried into my room to get dressed, pointedly not looking in the mirror as I passed. There wasn’t much that fit me right, but I managed to find an old T-shirt in the back of my closet that wasn’t too big and a pair of shorts that worked well enough once I strapped on a belt. I felt like a little girl playing dress-up with her mom’s clothes.

The sound of birds continued. My eyes were drawn to the sound.

My heart was in my throat as I crossed the room to the window. The blinds were taped to the wall so that no light could penetrate them. Heavy curtains hung over them for added protection. Ever so slowly, I pushed the curtains back and pulled the blinds away from the window.

Light struck me square in the face. I cringed back, expecting to feel burned and weak, but instead, the sunlight on my skin felt warm and comforting. I opened the blinds wider and looked out on a sunlit world I never thought I’d see again.

Tears sprung suddenly to my eyes, so I closed them. The sun warmed my flesh, sent my heart soaring. While I couldn’t see it directly, the sunlight lit up my eyelids so that they seemed to glow bright pink.

With a cry of pure joy, I spun and ran out of my room. I was crying hard now and couldn’t make myself stop. I didn’t know if it was the body or if I was just that overjoyed about what I’d felt. Either way, my emotions were getting the better of me. And right then, I didn’t care. All I wanted to do was feel the sun directly on my skin, revel in the light of day for the first time in a very, very long time.

I threw open the front door and ran out into the yard, heedless of anyone that might be lurking in the surrounding trees. I spread my arms wide as I raised my face to a sun that shone so bright, so strong, it was a wonder the entire world didn’t burn. A breeze played across my skin, warm and reassuring. I fell to my knees and cried.

“Could you remember what it was like before now?”

Jeremy’s voice startled me, but I refused to rise. I shook my head and smiled into the sun.

The world smelled different during the day. Even with my weaker sense of smell, I could tell. It was as if I’d walked into another reality entirely. Everything was so strange, and that included myself. It was all I could do not be overwhelmed.

Jeremy didn’t move from where he stood a few feet back. I had a feeling I’d woken him with my shout before I’d run from the house. He was probably out here making sure no one took advantage of the idiot girl.

I finally rose and turned to face him. He looked tired, but oddly happy. The sun did strange things to his face, made him look older somehow. I’m not sure if it was that the shadows were thinner here or if it was how the lines of worry were more defined in direct sunlight.

“I’m glad you got to see this,” he said, scanning the trees. “I think if vampires could actually come out and spend some time in the sun, they wouldn’t be so goddamn pissy all of the time. That big orange ball up there has a soothing effect on people, you know?”

I nodded, but didn’t trust myself to speak just yet. The waterworks had shut off, but I still felt full to bursting. I wanted to scream and run naked through the trees, to feel the grass beneath my toes. If it wasn’t for the fact that there might still be werewolves camped out there and that it wasn’t my body I’d be exposing to the world, I very well might have done it.

“We should probably go inside,” Jeremy said. “I don’t think we’re alone.”

I followed him back into the house, reluctant. I very nearly whimpered when he closed the door, shutting out the sun. I hurried across the room and threw open the blinds to the back door before sitting down at the table, choosing a seat that allowed the sun to shine directly onto my face. My stomach grumbled.

“I’ll make breakfast,” Jeremy said.

I sort of just zoned out then. Imagine spending years in the dark, forced to spend all of your time under moonlight or hidden away in some windowless room. And then, suddenly, you are set free. You could finally feel the sun, not hide from it. Everything looked and sounded different, more vibrant in ways you never thought possible.

More alive.

A plate seemingly appeared in front of me. The smell of bacon was what finally brought me out of my daze. I looked down to find that Jeremy had cooked me a full breakfast that included eggs and toast and coffee, along with the bacon.

“You didn’t have to do this,” I said.

“I think I did.” He smiled. “You would have skipped eating otherwise. You aren’t used to that body. You’ll need to refuel more often than you’re used to.”

I nodded and began scarfing down the food. It was like I’d never eaten before. My senses might be weaker, but I found the taste so much better now that it wasn’t marred by the constant need for blood. This was pure bliss.

Jeremy watched as I ate. He grinned the entire time, eating very little. His eyes were sunken in and I had a feeling if I hadn’t woken him up, he would have slept for another good five to six hours.

“You don’t have to sit up with me,” I said between bites. “I can take care of myself.”

He shrugged. “I don’t mind.”

“You look tired.” I glanced toward the back door. “I can feel Delai out there. I have a feeling I’ll need to get moving soon. I’ll get my weapons when I’m done here and set out.”

“No.” Jeremy shook his head. “I don’t think you should.”

“Why not?”

“Would Sienna come back to Delai armed to the teeth?” he asked. “It’s going to be bad enough with you dressed in someone else’s clothing. I’m pretty sure this Levi guy is going to ask you a lot of questions. You don’t need him asking more.”

“So you want me to go unarmed? That’s suicide.”

“Is it?” Jeremy shoved an entire piece of bacon into his mouth. “You’re undercover now, right? You have to go in with the mind-set that you
are
Sienna. You can’t act like Kat.”

“And what if Levi sees through the act?”

“Why should he? Just act like the girl and you should be fine.”

Easy for him to say.

I took a few more bites of my breakfast, thinking. This wasn’t going to be as easy as I hoped, I was sure. Not only would I need to find the summoner, but I’d have to kill him without Levi interfering. I was also worried about what would happen to Delai when I did. Would I get sucked into the demon realm? Would it just vanish and I’d find myself standing in the middle of a field somewhere?

But Jeremy was right about one thing. I couldn’t go into this acting and thinking like Kat. I needed to not only look like Sienna, I needed to
be
her.

“I need to change,” I said, rising.

Jeremy didn’t follow as I hurried out of the room to find Sienna’s old clothes. I was pretty sure Ethan had washed them at some point, so it was just a matter of finding where he put them. A quick search of my drawers found her clothes tucked away, apparently forgotten, in the top drawer.

I changed completely, including changing into Sienna’s underwear, which was another sort of icky that I would have to get used to. I mean, I knew they had been washed and that this was the same body that had worn them before, but I couldn’t get past the idea that they weren’t mine.

Once I was dressed in Sienna’s clothes, I headed into the bathroom, ran a brush through my hair, and tried on a few smiles in an attempt to capture Sienna’s own shy grin. It wasn’t quite right, but it would have to do. I left the bathroom and headed back downstairs.

Jeremy was still sitting at the table when I came back down. “I’m going out,” I said. “I don’t want anyone else to see me head to Delai, so I’m going to do it elsewhere.”

He stood, blocking my path to the kitchen. “Do you think that’s wise?” he asked.

“I’ll be fine.”

“You should take my car.”

“I’m taking my bike.”

“Do you really think you should drive that thing?”

“I know how to ride a motorcycle, Jeremy.”

He moved faster than I expected. He was across the room, arm pressed against my throat as he ground me hard into the wall. While my hands were free, they were useless against him.

“You aren’t as fast as you used to be,” he said, sounding angry. He held me there a long moment before stepping back out of my reach, just as I swung at him. I doubted I would have been able to hurt him even if I’d hit him.

“If you crash that thing, you’ll kill yourself. One wrong move and that body will be torn to shreds with no way to repair it. Do you really think you’ll react correctly if you take a turn too fast?”

I rubbed at my throat, angry, but ashamed at the same time. Not only had he gotten the jump on me, but he was also right. If I shattered my skull because I was careless, Ethan would never forgive me. Sienna would be trapped in my body, condemned to suffer as a vampire—a highly sought-after vampire—for the rest of her life.

“Fine,” I said. “I’ll take your car.”

“Let me drive you.”

“Absolutely not.”

His jaw firmed. “Kat, you don’t have to do this on your own.”

“For this, I do. Levi might see me with you otherwise. I can’t risk it.” I held out my hand.

Jeremy sighed. “Wait here,” he said. “My keys are upstairs.”

I continued to rub at my throat as he ran past me and jogged up the stairs. When he’d hit me, it fucking hurt. I definitely needed to be more careful with this body. It wasn’t as durable as my old one. I just hoped he hadn’t left a bruise because I really didn’t want to have to explain that one to Levi.

Jeremy returned a moment later and tossed me his keys. I moved to catch them with one hand, but misjudged by a lot. They smacked me on the cheek and fell to the floor with a clunk.

“Ow!” Now my face hurt too. I bent to pick up the keys, seriously reconsidering doing this at all. I was going to end up battered and bruised even before I dealt with Levi at this rate.

“You better come back to us,” Jeremy said. “I’m not even sure it’s such a good idea to leave at all. If a werewolf catches you off guard and I’m not there to help . . .”

“I’ll be careful,” I said. I started to tell him that I was going straight to the spot where I’d seen Delai before, but another thought hit me. If I was going to rush off to a town that didn’t exist, where an angel was turning supes into empty shells, there was a good chance I might not come back. Levi could crush me with a thought if he so desired. And if I did manage to kill his summoner, I might not be able to escape before the pocket realm collapsed with me inside it.

“Call Jonathan,” I said.

“Do you want me to tell him what’s happening?” Jeremy asked.

“No, I don’t think so.” I smiled. “I’ll do it myself. Tell him I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

Before Jeremy could object, I was out the door and into his car. I started the engine, opened the garage door, and pulled away, driving slowly and carefully.

Glancing back, I saw Jeremy standing on the front stoop. His phone was pressed to his ear.

I lost sight of him as I turned off onto the road. I checked all my mirrors twice, pressed down on the gas carefully—it would be a wonder if I came anywhere close to the speed limit—and made my way to Doctor Lei’s where I hoped Jonathan would be waiting, because damn it, it very well might be the last time I ever saw him.

Cars were everywhere. The streets were packed with people walking from place to place, sunlight beaming down upon them. Here and there, I’d catch a glimpse of a splash of carmine on the side of a building or a woman calling out the name of her husband who hadn’t come in the night before, but the terrors I’d come to know appeared to have fled with the dawn, leaving a sort of tense peace in its place.

It had been so long since I’d been out during the day, I’d forgotten what it was like to be around so many people at once. Could there really be this many pureblooded humans hidden away in their homes at night? How many of them were wolves trying to fit in? Did it really matter?

I drove mindlessly for a little while, simply marveling at the number of people around. There still were empty buildings and abandoned cars at the side of the road, but it was nothing like the eerily silent night. I’d always known life was different while the vampires were tucked away in their dark rooms and most of the werewolves were watching over them, yet to see it was overwhelming.

What I really wanted to do was to park Jeremy’s car and walk among the people. I was actually one of them now, even if it was going to be short-lived. I could use a day where I didn’t worry about what disaster might be around the corner, where I didn’t have to contemplate about who I might have to kill next. It would do my psyche good.

But I wasn’t here to enjoy the sights. Maybe once I was done with Levi, I’d take a few minutes to enjoy the sun one last time before I returned home to have Beligral turn me back into the monster I truly was.

I turned toward Doctor Lei’s, focusing solely on the road in front of me. If I stared at the crowds much longer, I would give in and melt into them, just to see what it felt like. If it wasn’t for Levi’s touch drawing me away, I very well might lose myself among the Purebloods.

It felt like it took forever to get to Lei’s place, but I made it without succumbing to temptation. The scenery here looked different than it had the night before, somehow happier. Even the buildings didn’t look as grim as they did during the evening.

My stride was less than confident as I approached the front door. A jogger ran by, a leashed dog running at his side. The man smiled and gave me a quick wave as he passed. I watched him go, surprised by the friendly gesture. Doing that at night usually ended up with a monster hunting you down and feeding on you, simply because you allowed yourself to be noticed.

The windows to Lei’s house were curtained, even during the day. There didn’t appear to be any lights on inside, which wasn’t much of a surprise. Everyone here spent their evenings awake. This was when they normally slept.

I worried Jeremy hadn’t gotten through to Jonathan to tell him I was coming. Not only that, but how could I expect him to believe it was really me when all he saw was a young girl?

I almost turned around and walked away. There was no real reason for me to be here, outside of my desire to see him one last time before I headed to Delai. I wasn’t even sure Jonathan would believe me when I told him who I was. Even if Jeremy filled him in, he’d have to be skeptical. He understood glamours, could cast them himself, but this wasn’t a glamour. I was actually
in
Sienna’s body. He wouldn’t be able to see through that.

But I needed to see him. There was no telling when Levi’s pull would force me to Delai. I wasn’t sure I could fool the angel, let alone find a way to destroy him. I might never get another chance to see Jonathan.

I knocked gently on the door. Even the slightest pounding of my knuckles on the wood hurt more than I was used to. Pureblood bodies are so damn frail, it was a wonder they didn’t break down on a regular basis. A bump on the knee could sometimes incapacitate them for precious seconds where a werewolf or vampire would have hardly felt it.

Of course, that didn’t mean supes were impervious to pain. I used to hurt damn near all of the time. Now, my shoulder ached from my fall in Ethan’s lab, but the pain in my back from old wounds was gone. The scars of claws and knives and bullets were nowhere to be found on this body. Thinking of how my old body must look to an observer seemed grotesque by comparison.

The door opened and a haggard-looking Jonathan appeared. “Kat?” he asked, understandably suspicious.

“Yeah.” Oddly, tears formed and spilled down my cheeks and my voice hiccupped on the word. “It’s me.”

Jonathan stepped aside to let me in, though he kept a close eye on me. He didn’t reach out to touch me as I passed. He did as I would have done if I’d been in his place; he watched me carefully as I walked past him, into Lei’s house, as if I might be a threat.

“It can’t be,” Nathan said as I entered. He was standing on the far side of the living room, glowering at me as if I was trying to deceive them. “You can’t switch bodies like that.”

I stopped just inside the living room, uncertain. Nathan’s eyes bore into mine and I looked away, not wanting him to see my tears. Doctor Lei sat on the couch, silently regarding me. Jonathan walked past and sat down next to her. A moment later, Keira walked into the room carrying two cups of coffee. She handed one to Jonathan and kept the other for herself. She moved to stand next to Nathan. All of them looked exhausted.

“I . . .” I trailed off, unsure what to say. How could I make them believe me? All they had was Jeremy’s word of what happened and I didn’t know for sure how much he’d told them. Add to that the fact that someone could have tortured him into lying over the phone and they had a right to be doubtful.

I was thankful Jeremy had talked me into coming without a weapon. If I’d entered fully armed, Nathan might have taken it as an aggressive sign. He wouldn’t have bothered to wait for an explanation before attacking.

“Where did we first meet?” Jonathan asked, voice level, but I detected something else in his voice, a weariness that told me he was close to breaking. It only made my tears fall that much faster.

“You sent a Cultist to my house to summon me to your Den. The stupid ass broke into my house and I killed him. I eventually came to see what you wanted and was stopped at the door by Pablo.” I felt sick thinking of the dead Cultist. The guy had only done what he thought was right. It had taken me a long time to realize that. “You came down the stairs and told him to let me in.”

Nathan and Jonathan shared a look.

“Could have been coached,” Nathan said.

“I don’t think she has been,” Lei put in. “Just look at her. You can see Kat in her eyes.”

All eyes turned back to me. I forced myself to look into each and every one of their faces, despite my tears. I clenched my jaw and somehow managed to shut off the waterworks. Too much crying and they’d never believe it was me.

“But how?” Jonathan asked.

“Didn’t Jeremy tell you?”

He frowned. “He said something about Ethan finding a way to transfer souls, but didn’t explain further than that. Who . . . who was she? How did he manage this?”

“I can’t tell you much else,” I said. I was glad Jeremy hadn’t said anything about Beligral. I wanted Jonathan to trust me, not hate me. “But right now, there’s a scared girl trapped in a vampire’s body and I’m trying to help her the only way I know how.”

“Why are you here then?” Nathan asked. He sounded far more hostile than I remembered.

“Nathan . . .” Keira gave him a look and nodded her head toward Jonathan. Nathan’s brow creased as he thought about it. I could almost see the lightbulb click on above his head when he finally got it.

“Oh,” he said with a frown before looking away.

“Do you think . . .” I took a deep breath. This was a lot harder than I imagined it being. I was used to all of my emotions being filtered through the vampire-induced rage. In Sienna’s body, I didn’t have that. Each and every emotion was hitting me with the power of a pissed-off wolf. It was all I could do to form coherent sentences, and I wasn’t even doing a very good job of that.

Jonathan rose from the couch and walked over to me. His face was completely blank, much like I’d expect to see on Adrian. He reached out and touched his fingertips to my cheek, almost as if checking to make sure I was real. His touch sizzled there, hot and comforting at the same time.

“Kat?” he asked, almost breathlessly. “Is it really you?”

I nodded.

There was a heartbeat where we stood there, facing each other for the first time in months. And then he enveloped me in his arms, crushing me to his body. The tears I’d managed to shut off came back with a vengeance. My entire body shook with them as he hugged me close. I could feel the power in his body, yet he didn’t squeeze hard enough for it to hurt. He held me almost gently, but tight enough that I wouldn’t be able to escape if I tried. He breathed deep into my hair and let out a sobbing laugh.

“You smell different.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “So do you.” In fact, all I could smell was a faint scent of soap.

“Oh, God,” Nathan said from across the room. He made it sound like he might be sick.

“We should probably find somewhere else to be,” Keira said, her voice light, almost jovial.

“No.” Jonathan stepped back and cleared his throat. “We’ll go somewhere else to talk. Keep an eye on the place. I don’t want someone trying to take advantage of us while our guard is down.”

Nathan looked skeptical, but nodded. Both he and Keira went different ways, presumably to check the doors.

I was thankful when Jonathan led me out of the living room and up the stairs. He took me to the same room where Doctor Lei had worked on me when Thomas and his pack of Tainted had just about torn me into itsy little bits. I hesitated just inside the doorway, struck hard by the memories, before walking all of the way in. He closed the door behind me.

“Are you staying in here?” I asked, noting the rumpled sheets.

“For now.” Jonathan crossed the room, stopped next to a chair, and then spun to face me. “I can’t believe you did this,” he said, sounding almost angry.

“I had to. It was the only way I could think of to take care of Levi. I really didn’t want to do it.”

“Who?”

I opened my mouth to reply, but didn’t know how to answer. I tried to remember what he might already know about the angel, but was having a hard time thinking straight. I wasn’t so sure I’d ever told him a single word. I’d never been very good about divulging information.

“He’s a very bad person,” I said, slowly. How could I do this without lying or telling him too much? If Jonathan thought I was in danger, he would want to come and help me take down the angel. There was no way I was going to let him get trapped in Delai to be turned into an empty shell. I’d rather die fist.

“I can help.”

“Not on this one. Only I can go.” I held up a hand when he started to protest. “This body is attuned with his realm. It’s why I had to make the switch. I wouldn’t have been able to go otherwise.”

“You’re not making any sense.” Jonathan paced back and forth a moment before coming to stand in front of me. He reached out and grabbed both my arms, gently so he didn’t hurt me. “Tell me what’s going on so I can help.”

“I wish I could,” I said. “But I can’t.”

He frowned. “I’ve missed so much while I’ve been locked up in here.”

“You wouldn’t have been able to help anyway.” I leaned into his touch. He held me at arm’s length a moment longer before wrapping me in another hug. “This is something I have to do on my own.”

I felt him tense, as if he was going to try to argue some more, but he eased against me almost immediately. “It’s so strange,” he said. “I know this isn’t your body, it’s not your smell, but when I hold you like this, I know it is you.”

I leaned back so I could see his face. Each moment I stood pressed against him like this was sheer agony. There was a want that burned deep inside me, something I knew I should never do. I never should have come here like this.

But this might very well be the last chance I ever got. Even if I survived Levi, I doubted we’d ever be this close again. Could I really let that pass?

Jonathan’s eyes met mine. He opened his mouth to speak, but I was done with words. Pure emotion rolled through me, wiped my mind clean of everything but this very moment. I stood on my tiptoes and pressed my lips against his own, silencing him with a kiss.

He stiffened for an instant before scooping me up, lifting me right off of the floor as we kissed. I could feel the heat of his body as I gave up every reservation I’d ever had. This felt right. This was what I wanted.

I shifted my weight forward, causing him to take a step back. The backs of his legs hit the edge of the bed and he sat down heavily. I landed in his lap, never once breaking the kiss. His need burned into me and I knew he could feel my own oft-suppressed desire. I ran my hand up under his shirt, felt the muscles there, the scars, the strength of the wolf beneath.

My entire body trembled. Desire rushed through me, obliterating everything else. There was only one thing I wanted and nothing would stop me from having it.

Jonathan leaned back, eyes scanning my own. I felt naked without his lips pressed against mine. I reached for him, but he held me back. Fear and lust warred with one another in his gaze.

“This isn’t right,” he said, breathless.

“I know.”

I leaned forward for another kiss.

And then, bliss.