Sound Advice (Sensations Collection #1) (30 page)

With Jess and Katie, the time was coming to a close and a summer fling was not what either of them needed. From the question game Jess and I played at Tom’s party, I learned plenty about Jess and his newfound freedom after his wife left. He was quite the playboy, which he admitted honestly, but I had the impression that once the liberty of being free from Debbie settled, Jess was presently content in his life. I also knew that I didn’t want to be a distraction to him. I could not be a summer girl to him anymore than I wanted him as only a seasonal romance. Add to the story a child who was only six, and I saw the impossibility of any chances for us being together. As Jess had mentioned the night before, he could not follow me if I left. This was not Cinderella and a lost shoe. The girl would remain a mystery and the shoe lost forever.

When the parade ended, I was supposed to meet Jess by the annual chicken lunch sponsored by the local Rotary club. Another small town tradition, heavy on delicious taste, included a boxed lunch of barbeque chicken, coleslaw, and baked beans. I waited patiently as Jess approached holding Katie’s hand. I bent down to hug Katie, and was surprised when I stood up that Jess kissed me on the neck in front of all the people in line for food.

“You looked wonderful,” I said to Katie. “Was it fun being in the parade as a princess?”

Katie’s eyes sparkled the same clear blue her father could have when he was calm and tender. She nodded her head.

I leaned over to speak in Katie’s ear.

“I have a secret. You were the most beautiful princess.” I hoped Katie remembered the story we had written together.
Maybe, just maybe
, I thought.

“Hungry?” Jess interjected as he led the way under the tent to order the lunches.

After lunch, there was a sand castle building contest for families, and I was warned to wear my suit for the event. When we reached the sandy beach, Jess met his brother Tom and Tom’s girls who had already started digging an elaborate ditch. The girls were probably too old to partake or care about the contest, but all were involved to support Katie. She brought twigs for drawbridges and small pebbles to line the castle walls. She found small muscle shells to make frame windows and doors. I sat back in the sand and watched as the castle was assembled by what could have been professional sand castle builders. All the entries were truly artistic in their design, but the traditional castle built by Jess and Tom was a spectacular sand sculpture. When Katie stepped back to admire the masterpiece, I whispered in her ear.

“It looks good enough for a princess to live in. I have a secret for you. Do you remember?”

Katie smiled at her father who came to hold her hand before she looked directly at me.

“I’d love to stay and live in that castle with you.”

There were actual judges for the sand castle competition with prizes for the winner, and Jess sat next to me in the sand as we watched small groups of people commenting on each submission.

“It’s fit for a king,” I joked.

“Only it needs a queen,” Jess commented back.

When the three of us rode the Ferris Wheel that night, Katie sat in the middle.

“I’m afraid of heights,” I admitted and I felt my stomach drop as we made the first round down. I grabbed onto Katie’s little hand grasped tightly on the locked safety bar as we made the second round. I pointed out the barges with fireworks awaiting the darkness just behind the rock wall bordering the harbor.

“Fire in the sky,” I quoted from Katie’s story. I said the words softly to her, leaning over to speak directly into her ear over the Ferris Wheel music, but the statement was not lost to Jess.

“What?”

Fireworks
, Katie signed to no one in particular.

THE DAY WAS going quickly for me and with the sun lowering in the distant sky, I had a foreboding feeling of the clock striking midnight and my dress turning into rags. I had to tell Jess my plans, but I didn’t want to spoil the day. Jess bought Katie a hot dog and a doggie bowl of French fries, but I passed. I had a sickening feeling all of a sudden.

In order to see the fireworks at maximum viewing, the best place to sit is within the harbor limits, either on a boat or on the water’s edge. Tom and his family had reserved a small area with blankets and Jess suggested it was time to join the others to save the space. This trade gave the older girls time to enjoy the rides as twilight hit the carnival area. Jess showed me to a blanket for the two of us plus Katie. She took turns sitting on Jess’ lap or straddling mine. By late evening the air had cooled and Jess offered me his sweatshirt that rested on the blanket. He and I sat in silent anticipation as Katie played with the zipper on the jacket.
Up and down, zip-zip, up and down
. The light was fading fast and there was only a thin sliver of yellowy rays sandwiched between a dark blue sky and black waters.

“Almost time,” Jess said to Katie as she continued to zip a little faster.
Up and down, zip-zip, up and down
.

“I have one last secret for you, Katie girl,” I glanced sideways at Jess and made sure I cupped Katie’s ear enough that only she could hear as I spoke in a sing-song rhythm.

I will miss you when I go,

But I will always love you so.

And I’d love to hear you speak,

your words will stay with me.

Forever in my heart, smiles will show,

Because you are a part of me,

Wherever I may go.

I pointed to my heart after I finished my chant. Next I pointed to Katie’s heart and back to my own. I knew it sounded silly, but Katie was young. I gently kissed her forehead, and while Jess was watching the motions, I felt certain he did not hear what I had said.

We were sitting close together; close enough to touch, but we weren’t. Other than the kiss this morning, we hadn’t touched all day, and I reflected that what I thought was intimate might have been an innocent social kiss. It suddenly occurred to me that we only touched under darkness and utter privacy. Jess’ arm was behind me, propping him up, but not touching mine. My arm was crossed under his, holding me upright as well, but not touching him. Katie’s glance kept going from our arms to the zipper, arms to zipper. I didn’t mean to get annoyed, but the zipping motion was getting on my fraying nerves. I finally moved my hand to prevent the zipper from going up again. Jess noticed the move and told Katie, “Enough.”

I removed my hand and Katie slowly pushed the zipper back up.
Slowly, very slowly
. She was tempting fate, daring me to say something, but I didn’t. I waited. Jess looked at her again.

“Stop it,” he said.

“Are you trying to zip me up?” I asked. “Close me up tight so I can’t talk.” The words came out before I realized the implications of what I’d said.

“Mommy said shut up.”

Jess stared at Katie before he sat forward and reached for her. He grabbed the tops of her arms and dragged her towards him.

“What did you say?” his voice strained.

Silence.

“Jess,” I warned softly. “Don’t frighten her.”

Jess started to shake Katie slightly. “Say it again,” his voice pleaded.

“Jess,” I said worriedly. I slowly reached my hand out to separate Katie from Jess. Gently, I gradually pried his fingers from her delicate little arms.

I stared at Katie and thought through the day, counting the secrets: the parade, the castle, and my words of missing her.

“The power is within you, Katie. Let your daddy hear your words. He’s waited a long time, Princess Katie.”

“Mommy told me to shut up. She said, ‘not one more word’.” Katie buried her face into Jess’ chest for fear of punishment, and Jess sat staring out at the harbor as his arms slowly went around his daughter. There were no tears of joy like I wanted to shed. Stunned, Jess expression was frozen in place as if someone had poured concrete over him. The first fireworks exploded.

It was twenty minutes of booms and explosions in the sky, and silence from our small blanket on the grassy ground beside the harbor. Katie turned her head to the side, resting it on Jess’ chest to watch the display before us. Amidst the
ohs
and
ahs
of the enthusiastic crowd was an awkwardness on our blanket more apparent than the vibrant reds and bright whites spreading in the sky. Katie watched a few sparkles dance to the water below as I stroked her hair. Jess still made no movement other than his grip around his daughter. Holding her, surrounding her, protecting her, he made no sounds.

When the fireworks were finished, the crowd stood and filed in slithering patterns to and fro, working through the mass of people to their cars, boats, and homes. Jess stood and picked up the blanket, never letting go of Katie. His brother had been nearby and noticed the look on Jess’ face. As tan as he was, Jess looked white in the dark night.

“She spoke again,” Jess directed at Tom.

“What?” It was the only response I heard as Jess began to walk through the crowd. I wasn’t sure if I should follow, but I needed to make my way in the same general direction as Jess. He was carrying Katie, and I grabbed Katie’s dangling leg for support. She straightened her leg and looked at my hand over her father’s shoulder.

“I don’t want to get lost,” I teased Katie as I playfully squeezed her thin calf.

Hearing my voice seemed to snap Jess out of his thoughts, and he turned to look over his own shoulder at me holding on to Katie. His face looked as if he was seeing me for the first time and I went to release Katie’s leg only to have Jess grab my hand.

“I promise. I won’t lose you.” The meaning behind those words was lost to me.

JESS DRAGGED ME around the crowded midway area and over one of the river bridges. He directed me through the streets and between cars down an alley. We walked rapidly behind the businesses of the main street and down four blocks opposite my grandmother’s cottage to Jess’ house. This was the central meeting place for the family. The four siblings and Jess’ mother were to congregate here to collect cars and leave for their various homes as the traffic died down.

Jess released my hand as we neared the yard. It seemed as if most of the family was present on the front lawn, lingering on the porch steps, or sitting in the same chairs they used to watch fireworks by the harbor. Jess put Katie down in front of him, holding his hands on her little shoulders as he faced his family and made an announcement.

“Katie just spoke again.”

Amongst the gasps came the words that Katie needed most. “The spell has been broken,” her grandmother said and Mary approached the girl to kiss her on each check.

Jess offered the rest of the information.

“Apparently, Debbie told Katie to shut up. Told her not to speak one more word. And that is just what Katie did.” Jess’ voice did not hide his disgust. Tom muttered a word or two referencing Katie’s mother.

“Say something. Anything,” the child’s grandmother begged.

“Hello,” Katie whispered and Mary Carter burst into tears of joy. The whole family was excited and I again had a feeling of intruding on a moment that was too personal to share. I took a step to back up, but Katie noticed the movement and walked to me. She motioned for me to bend down and she whispered in my ear.

“Now you have to kiss him and change him from a beast to a prince again.”

I was so startled that a tear leaked from my own eyes.

“I would like that, Princess Katie. But I don’t think he wants me to save him.”

With that Jess stepped toward me and I quickly wiped the tear as he looked at me, puzzled.

“Emily?” he questioned. Another tear leaked from my eyes. “What did she say to you?” He turned to Katie who went to sign, but Jess stopped her hands.

“No, baby. I want to hear your voice tell me what you said to Emily.”

Katie looked at me, but I shook my head no.

“I think I need to go.” I was overwhelmed with emotion and needed to leave this family to their miracle. I took another step backward and another. I was wiping tears frantically as they slowly leaked down my face.

Jess reached for me, but I took another step backwards. I was at the edge of the yard.

“Make me believe what just happened.”

I shook my head, wiping more tears. I didn’t know how to explain it to him.

“You need to stay here and be with Katie.”

I took another step backward into the street and signed the words,
Talk to you later
. I blew him a kiss, which he dramatically caught before it blew away, and pressed his hand to his heart.

Thank you,
he signed back.