Sound of Heartache ("Sound of" Book 2) (19 page)

“
That sounds great.” He told her, trying not to make a big deal about the discovery. He kept his eyes on Aimee as Brenna left the room, presumably to go call in the pizza.

“
You’re good with her,” Aimee said, before he could say anything. He frowned, not wanting to be deterred.

“
I don’t understand you at all.” He told her. Aimee frowned back.

“
What don’t you understand?” Her words were quiet but that didn’t make her tone any less sharp.

“
It’s clear you were honest with Brenna about who I was. Jesus, you even helped her create a story of her life with the express intent of giving it to me. It seems like you kept up our traditions and passed them along to her. Why the hell would you keep her away from me if you’ve gone to such great lengths to have her know about me?” Brent was honestly baffled. Usually when one parent withheld a child from another, it was because they were worried the parent was bad or unfit to be around the child. Or because the relationship between the parents had ended disastrously. Neither was the case here.

“
This wasn’t the first time I tried to contact you.” Aimee blurted out. Brent straightened and moved so he sat next to her on the sofa.

“
What?” He said. “When did you try?” He didn’t mean to sound disbelieving, but she must not have tried very damn hard. He’d been there all along, waiting for her to come back.

“
Brenna was three. You had just increased the deposit amounts into the bank account and I wanted you to know what the money was going for. I wanted you to know about Brenna. And I missed you so damn bad. I was hoping you would forgive me and we could all be together.” Aimee’s eyes filled with tears and she twisted her hands together in her lap. Brent did some quick math in his head. Six years ago put him in a really ugly place in his life and he knew instinctively that had something to do with why they were just coming together now. Brent tipped her chin up so she was looking into his eyes.

“
What happened?” He pressed.

“
I came to one of your concerts,” she admitted hoarsely. She knuckled away her tears, looking frustrated and sad. “I should have gone about things differently. I had seen the headlines and they worried me. But I thought the gossip rags were just playing everything up, making things seem worse than they really were.” She huffed out a laugh. “Instead, things were worse in person.”

Brent felt sick. Concert nights had been the height of partying for him. “What you found wasn’t good, was it?” He asked her roughly. Aimee shook her head, tears spilling over.

“
No, Brent.” Aimee whispered. “It was really bad.” Her eyes slid shut and she leaned into him. Brent let her, wrapping his arms around her. He felt sick to his stomach. He could easily imagine what she might have seen. Hopefully, whatever it’d been wasn’t the worst of what he’d done. Before he had managed to pull his shit together, there had been nights he wished he could forget.

“
How bad?” He asked, not really wanting to know the answer but needing to understand what she’d seen.

“
It was a Portland concert.” Aimee told him. She trembled in his arms and he felt his heart plummet to his feet. They’d only done Portland a couple of times. The first time was during the height of Brent’s debauched life. The second time had only been about a year ago. He could pretty much guarantee whatever she’d seen had been god-awful bad.

“
How much did you see?” He asked, dreading the answer.

“
There were three girls. They were naked. You were naked.” Aimee sniffled softly. “I’ve never done coke, but I’m pretty sure that’s what you were all snorting.”

“
Fuck,” Brent muttered. If Aimee had seen that night, he couldn’t blame her for not letting him into Brenna’s life until now. The concert in Portland and the subsequent chain of events afterwards had actually been the impetus for him to sober up. Things had gotten so out of hand he’d even scared himself. From what he could recall, he’d done lines of coke right off the stomach of one of the girls while he fucked one of the other ones. If he remembered correctly, his hands had been all over and inside the third. Their bodies had been smashed together like a twisted, drug-fueled pretzel. “How the hell did you get into the room?” He asked, baffled.

“
I just told the security guard I was there for you. He let me in, no other questions asked.” Aimee let out a small sob before her back stiffened up. “Apparently any woman who was there for you was allowed through.” Brent felt a deep stab of shame because he couldn’t deny her words. After it had become apparent to him that Aimee wasn’t coming back, he’d drank, snorted, and fucked his way through the pain.

“
But I don’t understand how you were there and I didn’t know.” Brent said. He couldn’t believe he had been within reaching distance of Aimee and had never known.

“
You were so high and so into those girls, you never even knew I was there.” She shuddered. “I didn’t see any bit of the boy who’d loved me so I left without saying anything.”

“
I’m sorry you had to see that,” he told her. And he was. He didn’t know if he’d ever be able to look at Aimee the same if he walked in and saw Aimee with some other guy balls deep inside her. “God, I’m so sorry. I don’t have any excuse for what I did.”

Brent was disgusted with himself. He’d been the cause of Brenna’s absence in his life. It was his fault, not Aimee’s. She had tried to do the right thing for them all. Brent tried to get up from the sofa. He needed to do something to get rid of the anger building inside his chest. Instead of letting him go, however, Aimee’s arms crept around his waist. Tears burned the backs of his eyes but he refused to let them fall. He hadn’t forgotten his daughter was in the other room and he didn’t want to push their discussion any further because he knew it would be painful for him and Aimee both.

“
I won’t lie, it hurt me so much to see you like that. But I knew a lot of what you were doing rested on my shoulders.” Brent drew back from Aimee’s embrace and looked down into her eyes incredulously. How could she even begin to think his instability had been her fault? She looked up at him sadly. “If I had just come home sooner, none of that would have happened. So I had to forgive you because if I didn’t it would make me the world’s biggest hypocrite.”

Brent caressed her face gently. “None of what I did was your fault. My actions, the way I was? That’s all on me.” There was no way he was letting her take that guilt on. Yeah, he’d been devastated at losing her but that didn’t excuse any of what he’d done. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, trying to ease the tension from his body. The subject needed to change immediately. “Brenna seems a lot older than nine,” he said inanely. Aimee gave a watery laugh, sounding relieved.

“
She’ll be the first to tell you she’s almost ten.” Brent chuckled. He could totally believe that. In the short amount of time he’d spent with her he could easily see she was outspoken. “But you’re right, she’s a lot older in many ways.”

“
I’m really sorry for what you saw when you came to see me. I guess I can somewhat understand why you felt like you needed to wait to introduce me to her. I wasn’t in a good place for a while.” Brent hated talking about his past but he needed Aimee to understand that he got it. Things had been really dark for a while and if it hadn’t been for Jack, Eric, and Jacob, he wasn’t sure he would have made it through with his sanity.

“
Brenna’s been the one pushing me to go see you. She keeps up with music news pretty closely and has been telling me for the past couple of years that ‘Daddy’s ready’.” Aimee’s words made Brent wonder exactly how much Brenna knew.

“
You didn’t tell her what you saw?” He asked, horrified at the possibility that his daughter knew about his sexual exploits and illegal drug use. Aimee quickly shook her head.

“
No, no! I would never. I just told her your band was really busy and you weren’t ready for a family yet.” Brent’s body slumped in relief. Aimee was truly one in a million. Most women would have been so pissed they probably would have unloaded some nasty verbal diarrhea onto their kid.

“
So what finally changed your mind? Was it all Brenna’s doing?” He wondered if seeing him with those two women had killed any interest Aimee had in getting back together with him, but then he quickly dismissed that thought. If he had guess, he’d say Aimee was still pretty damn interested by the way she had reacted to him last night.

Aimee let out a heavy sigh. “At first I resisted coming to see you because I didn’t believe you’d changed. Then I didn’t come because it seemed like too much time had gone by and I was just plain old afraid of your anger. I’m glad I decided to go to the concert last night. So, so glad.” Aimee pulled back from their embrace and gave him a searching look.

“
What?” He asked her, a little discomfited at her close inspection.

“
Is it too much to hope for that maybe we have a chance? Obviously we still have great chemistry but I know that isn’t enough.” Aimee’s words were blunt and laid her heart bare to him. “I know I said that I would step aside and let things between you and Brenna develop, but I’d just like to know where your thoughts are so I can deal with it either way.” Brent admired the balls it took to ask such a tough question. Unfortunately he didn’t have an answer ready for her. Time had changed them both and it was possible they carried too many emotional scars to be any good together.

Brent sat back on the sofa, breaking contact with her. He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. He didn’t know how to answer her. “Aimee…” he started, and then stopped. How the hell was he supposed to respond? He felt a light touch on his arm and glanced over at her. She wore an uncertain smile.

“
It’s okay, I get it. You don’t have to decide anything right now. Why don’t we just keep the focus on Brenna for now?” She suggested. Brent nodded, relieved. Her suggestion took the pressure off him to make any life-altering decisions in the immediate future. “If there comes a time where you feel like you might be ready to pursue things between us, I’ll be here. Not waiting or anything, just… here.”

“
I think that sounds really good.” He agreed. Maybe time would give him some much-needed perspective so he could figure out what the hell he wanted.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Aimee could have kicked herself for trying to rush things with Brent. She had the advantage of having a lot longer to mull things over and knew what she wanted for their little family. Brent had just discovered he had a family and had zero processing time under his belt.

As she got ready for bed, she smiled wryly at the machinations of Brent and Brenna. They had lain several traps for Aimee that she had fallen right into, one of which was the two of them spending the following day together while she was at work. She didn’t mind that at all, and had handed Brent the spare key to the house. Brenna had her own key and Aimee needed to show Brent she was all in by giving him a key of his own, even if he never used it.

The second issue she had walked into she still wasn’t so sure about. The three of them had sat around the dining room table and talked about the logistics of Brent and Brenna visiting. They had all agreed it would be incredibly difficult to accomplish while Brent was touring. Luckily, Brenna already had her own cell phone so she would be able to call and text her dad. But it wasn’t the most modern phone because, as Aimee had argued, Brenna was only nine. Aimee had been quickly trapped into agreeing that Brent could purchase Brenna an iPad so they could face-time. Aimee wasn’t big on getting kids all the latest electronics but she did understand their circumstances were somewhat unique.

Brent had surprised Aimee when he pulled out his own iPad from the bag of things that had been delivered from his hotel room and had thoroughly gone over his schedule. His careful attention to detail was a reminder of how much their lives had changed in the past ten years. In college, Aimee would have had to hound him to keep his schedule straight. The man sitting at the table was all business, though, as he outlined options for visitation.

To Brenna’s delight, he would be able to come back to Las Vegas for her birthday party in July, but the trip would be an in-and-out deal. He and Aimee were also able to agree on a date when Brenna would go see him in San Diego for a week in early August before school started back up again. While sitting at the table, he and Aimee had done practical things like exchanging phone numbers and addresses and emergency contact information. Talking about such mundane things had made it almost easy to forget she was sitting across from a very successful and talented rock star. It would’ve been easier to forget if she hadn’t salivated over his sexy guyliner every time she looked him in the eyes.

The thought of Brenna gone for a week caused Aimee to panic a bit as she stood in her bathroom going through her nighttime routine. Her hands shook as she washed her face and she called herself all kinds of silly for worrying so much. Still, she and Brenna weren’t often apart and she would miss her daughter terribly while she was gone. Plus, if she was honest with herself, she was a little envious that her daughter was going to get to see Brent and she wasn’t. It was incredibly selfish and immature but she would be lying if she said otherwise.