Sound of the Tide (27 page)

That’s all it took for Miss America to arrive at my house a few minutes later. Excitedly, she rushed in and thrust a box of Franky’s minibagels and cupcakes into my hands. I hurried to lift Amber into her play yard before Jenna could trip over her or any of her toys in her agitated nervousness.

“So what’s going on? Why is there a fire truck parked in your driveway? And where are those men—you’re going to have to lead me to them so that I can touch them, you know, like a blind person, because in all the excitement I forgot to put in my contacts!”

She squeezed past me to the window and squinted her eyes.

“Crap! They’re all a bit blurred. Without my lenses, I mean!”

“Buy yourself a pair of glasses already!” I suggested matter-of-factly, and freed the tiny bagels and artfully decorated cupcakes from their box.

“Hmm, yummy!” I marveled, and Jenna spun around to me.

“What? Who? Him?” She pointed at one of the firefighters and squinted her eyes even more.

“No, silly! The cupcake!”

I shook my head and pulled her away from the window.

“You’ll get wrinkles if you keep squinting your eyes like that,” I warned her, and immediately she smoothed out her skin.

“You think? Well, it’s a good thing I have my contacts in my purse. I have time to run to the bathroom and put them in real quick, right?”

“Sure. I don’t think they’ll be done anytime soo
n . . .
with whatever it is they’re doing.”

“They’re building a dock—even
I
can see that! What did you think they were doing? Rebuilding the
Titanic
?”

Jenna disappeared into the bathroom, and I stayed behind, alone with my massive mental blackout.

In a daze, I stepped out onto the back porch and stared down at the beach.

A dock!

I massaged my forehead, as if I were hoping for a switch that would reboot my brain.

A dock had been Daniel’s biggest dream ever since we bought the house. He had talked about it incessantly. He had even bet on it—and lost. And yet he would finally get his—our!—dock.

My eyes welled up with tears when I realized that he would never set foot on it, would never tie his boat to it, would never dangle his feet in the water from it. This lovely summer day and his friends’ incredibly generous gift—it wasn’t for him, but it would be his legacy to all those who had loved, appreciated, and respected him.

This was our gift to ourselves, so we would never forget how important Daniel had been to all of us. To show him that we were still thinking of him, even after almost a year had gone by since his passing. And it was also a symbol that dreams don’t die—not even when the dreamer does. It gave us hope.

I saw Kevin standing on the beach below, doling out instructions, and I couldn’t believe that he was doing this all for Daniel. My heart burst wide open, like a hardened crust of solidified lava with an inner core still soft and molten beneath.

He turned around as if he could feel me looking at him. I was sure he noticed my tears. Did he know what they meant?

I smiled at him, because every single one of us still had dreams.

M
Y
P
IECE OF THE
P
IE

Late August

T
he smoky aroma of barbecued spareribs wafted across the beach and made my mouth water. Under the watchful eye of professional firefighters, the guests were setting up a great big campfire that they would light after sundown. Music mingled with the sound of laughter and conversation. And actually, I couldn’t be happier that so many had come—Daniel would have loved it!

Marcus had taken ownership of the grill and was now sweating underneath his barbecue apron, which sported the image of a slim, naked woman. He was fending off coarse pickup lines from some of the firefighters, and Cat—who was handling the burgers—giggled with glee when Simon, who was a bit on the burly side, planted a big fat smooch on Marcus’s cheek.

“How are you doing, my lovely?” Simon asked, and Marcus responded by threatening him with his barbecue fork.

I shook my head and was happy for Cat and Marcus. It was nice to see that Daniel’s parents had found a sense of normalcy, too, and it gave me hope.

Leaning against the porch rail, I watched the hustle and bustle below. Kevin was playing his guitar with his band. He was terrific, and I had to admit that he really did look unbelievably sexy. Google shook himself and splattered water drops all over Whitney, and Ewan laughed at her startled face. Some of the firefighters were dancing with their wives, who had come along to the barbecue—others were admiring their day’s work out in the water.

The dock had turned out just lovely, but I barely dared to look because I was so overwhelmed with emotions. It almost hurt me physically that Daniel wasn’t here to witness this. And yet, I could feel his presence here tonight. He was with us in spirit. The men didn’t stop telling old stories about him, laughing about things he had done, jokes he used to tell, and pranks he used to pull, and emphasizing his heroic accomplishments at the fire station.

I had been wandering from group to group, laughing along with them, listening to their stories, and for the first time I felt as if Daniel was uniting us all. Why had I been feeling so lonely all this time? Why hadn’t I seen that this abyss I had plunged into was filled with people who felt the same way?

I put my glass of champagne down on the handrail and watched the condensation slowly drip off the glass. It reminded me of summer rain, and I caught it with my finger and licked it off.

“There you are!” Jenna called and walked over. She was wearing a cute multilayered skirt and a fringed pink bikini top. Like me, she was barefoot, and the sun had tanned her skin a golden brown. She looked happy.

“What a great party! And you said this place wasn’t a party shack!”

I laughed gleefully and hugged her tight.

“Thank you all for helping me turn this house into at least a tiny little party shack! I think laughter and happiness will resonate within these walls for a long time to come.”

I glanced around. I was looking for Kevin, but his guitar was lying abandoned next to his fellow musicians. Instead, he was standing with Catherine, holding Amber in his arms.

“Or maybe it’ll even stay forever,” I whispered.

Jenna kissed my cheek, emphatically wiping a tear from the corner of her eye.

“Silly bee! Of course it’ll stay forever! Why don’t you reach out and take it already!”

She followed my gaze with her eyes and grabbed me by the shoulders.

“Look at him! He loves you. He loves Amber. And if that isn’t enough, let me tell you right now that he’s also going to love Daniel forever. Kevin would never do anything to hurt you or Daniel. That’s the only reason he’s been waiting. He’s waiting for you to give him a sign.”

She smoothed back my curls and tugged at the straps of my white sundress.

“What are you still doing up here? Go downstairs and enjoy your party! Go get yourself a piece of happy pie!”

She was trying to gently push me down the stairs, but I objected.

“Wait, wait!
I . . .
Give me a moment. I’ll be right down, all right?”

“Okay. But hurry up, because I wanna dance!”

I looked after her as she hopped away, hips swinging, and threw herself into Frank’s arms down at the beach.

She had found her happiness!

I took my glass of champagne and looked up into the golden, glowing sky. The sun was already low on the horizon, and its deep, red glow was warming my heart, all the way to the depths of my soul.

I raised my glass and closed my eyes.

“To you, Daniel!” I whispered, and emptied the glass. Then I walked down to the beach and tried to find my piece of the pie.

I strolled across the sand, feeling the wind on my skin, and the laughter coming from my friends and family carried my soul out to sea. The waves were lapping at my feet, pleasantly cold and softening the sand beneath, and it felt as if I were walking on air. I knew where my path was taking me, and still my pulse quickened the closer I came.

Very slowly, I put one foot in front of the other. The wind blew my hair into my face, and I inhaled the fragrance of the sea, which filled me with the same sense of ease and feeling alive as my favorite perfume. The dock’s wood felt silky smooth underneath my bare feet, and the scent of new wood mingled with the smell of saltwater.

I walked all the way to the end of the dock and sat down. The wood was warm, and I ran my fingers over the polished grain. It was still the color of dark honey, but I knew that the salt and the sun would soon give it its wonderful silvery sheen. Over time it would form cracks and no longer be perfect and smooth. By the time Amber learned how to swim, algae would probably grow on the posts supporting it, and the saltwater would have formed a hard, white crust where the sea reached its highest point during high tide.

I could see all of this before my mind’s eye, almost tasting the wonderful years that were yet to come—as if all of it were already carved into the wood.

Funny. I would never have thought that a dock could come to mean so much to me. I had always thought that the dock was mostly Daniel’s idea, but now that I was sitting here, dangling my feet in the water without feeling the ocean floor, I felt
free
for the first time in a very long time. I felt connected with this beautiful piece of earth, with the house, the sea, with Daniel. A strong wave sloshed up and over my legs, spraying water up to me on the dock. I laughed and wiped the salty mist from my face.

I could hear someone approach but didn’t feel like turning around. I wanted nothing more than to never leave this spot.

“Everything all right, Piper?” Kevin asked tenderly, looking down at me with worry in his eyes.

I held up my arms, and he pulled me to my feet. We stood facing one another, and I could see the love in his beautiful green eyes. The sky was a golden red, bathing us in a warm glow, and I enjoyed Kevin’s presence so close to me. I leaned against him and took in his scent. It carried a touch of summer, of sand, of wate
r . . .
and of masculinity.

“What’s bothering you?” he repeated his concern while rubbing my back.

I looked up at him and smiled timidly.

“Everyone’s happy,” I said with one glance over the beach. Cat was playing with Amber. Jenna was making out with her Italian man. And Marcus was laughing out loud about some joke one of the firefighters had told.

Kevin gently caressed my cheek, making me look him in the eye again.

“They’re all happy even though he’
s . . .
dead.” I squeezed out the words because I wasn’t sure what I was trying to say. Was I being reproachful, or merely stating a fact?

Kevin didn’t say anything, and I didn’t really expect him to. He stepped behind me, turned me toward the setting sun, and wrapped his arms around me.

We were in plain view of everyone, and yet I didn’t mind.

The golden glowing orb was dissolving within its own shimmering mirror image, while we just stood and held each other.

Finally, he kissed my shoulder and whispered, “And you, Piper? Are you happy, too?”

I swallowed, trying to breathe, but the warm evening air seemed to turn liquid, and I found it suffocating. I felt raw and exposed. My innermost self was slowly turning inside out, ready to surrender to Kevin in all its frightening vulnerability, and there was nothing I could do about it. I shivered as I nodded, but without looking at him.

“Yes, Kev. I am, because you’re here with me.”

He held me tighter still, as if trying to share some of his strength with me.

“And that’s what’s scaring you?”

Again I nodded.

“Yes, until a moment ago.”

“Until a moment ago?” he asked and started softly caressing my hands. “But not anymore?”

I took a deep breath. The final streak of golden glory descended and submerged in purple waves that rippled all the way back to shore. With my heart pounding, I turned around.

“No, Kevin. I am not scared anymore.”

He looked at me. Searched my face for any trace of doubt—for any
but
.

“Why’s that?” He sounded hesitant.

I tilted my head to the side and found it hard to find the right words.

“Can you hear?” I asked, and listened. I was hoping he wouldn’t think me insane.

“The waves?”

“The sound of the tide.”

He listened, and nodded.

“It’s the tide coming in. It sounds lik
e . . .
strength,” he muttered, and I got lost in his tender eyes, eyes that were gentler than this warm, unforgettable August day.

“Yes. It’s the sound of strength and courage.” I smiled, trying to show him that this time there would be no
but
. “It’s the sound of choosing something with all your heart and then going for it.”

I stood up on my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around his neck.

“It’s the sound of new beginnings, Kevin.”

“Yes, I think I can hear it, too. Bu
t . . .
will it be a new beginning with me, Piper?”

We were standing so close that his breath grazed my lips. With a throbbing heart I snuggled up against his chest.

“Well, it might be, Kev, if you were to goddamn kiss me already!” I whispered, and without further ado I leaned in and went for my very own piece of happy pie. I could taste my tears in our kiss, but they were tears of joy, salty as the waves that had helped me to open my heart once more. It was a kiss that left no doubt. A true beginning.

“I love you, Piper Colby,” he whispered as he lifted me up, and I knew that my future was in his arms. Laughter was bubbling from my chest, liberating me from my past. Never before had happiness felt so real, so alive as in this moment, when Kevin—with a thunderous cry of joy—hurled both of us into the tide.

THE END