SoundsofLove (19 page)

“And yet, you refused her.”

His arm tightened around her. “I’ve come to care for you a
great deal.”

It wasn’t precisely what she yearned to hear, but it was
comfort enough, and she nuzzled into him as she said, “And I, you.”

They were still for several minutes, and she wondered if he
was thinking about what he had missed with Fiona. If he regretted his decision,
she saw no evidence of that in his behavior of the past few hours.

She relaxed until her curiosity rose again. “Do you see
them—your daughters?”

“No, I never have. One is in Prague, and the other in Paris.
I correspond annually with their mothers, and I have set aside funds for them
should their mothers decide to tell them the truth.” He lifted her chin and
kissed the tip of her nose. “If it’s important to you, we could visit. I
wouldn’t mind seeing them. In fact, I’ve always wanted to, but I haven’t left
England since I came into my properties.”

“I would like to meet them…discretely, of course.”

“I’ll make inquiries. One’s a princess—she’s twelve—and the
other’s a commoner, a merchant’s daughter. She’s eleven next month.”

“No princes?” she teased.

“None I am aware of, but it wouldn’t surprise me to meet my
image on the street anywhere on the continent.”

“Oh.” She wasn’t sure if she should be proud of his virility
or disappointed at his morals.

“May I ask you a very personal question?”

“Of course.”

“Were you a maiden on your wedding night?”

“Oh, yes. Geoffrey was terribly proper. I would have given
myself to him after our engagement, but he insisted we hold off.” She forced
herself not to think about his years of deception.

“So, I’m only the second man you’ve known?”

Her heart began to pound wildly. Damn, she wished he had not
asked her that question. Her mouth went dry, and she prayed he would move on to
another topic.

“Cathryn?”

She swallowed hard. “No,” she whispered.

He lifted her chin to look in her eyes and the softness had
left his voice when he said, “Were you unfaithful to him?”

She didn’t think of herself that way. The last four months
of Geoffrey’s life, he had been unconscious—a living corpse—and for a year
before that, he’d been a shell of a man. She had said goodbye to her husband,
but she knew Julian wouldn’t understand her reasoning.

“One of the physicians was comforting me—after Geoffrey was
gone.” It was a small lie compared to the larger truth, and she had no desire
to incur Julian’s wrath. She looked back at the fire, hoping he had not seen
the deception in her eyes. “It led to a seduction.”

“Who?” His voice had softened slightly, and she took a deep
breath to calm herself. The worst was over. She couldn’t remember ever lying
before, excluding her altercation with Hedges in Oxford, but this felt the
safest course of action. Julian would never learn the truth, and no real harm
was done.

She held no tender feelings for the man who had drained her
savings and saw no reason to deepen the deception. “Dr. Kinsley.”

“I don’t know him.”

Good. “It was only the one time, and I barely remember it.”

“Why?”

The memory lay buried under years of shame and grief. “I was…
sedated.” She felt him tense beneath her back, and he eased away to look her in
the face.

“He drugged you and then forced himself on you?”

“No, I didn’t protest.” That much she remembered. “I believe
I encouraged the seduction, but I had taken a small dose of paregoric.”

She remembered it now, and shame and titillation shared the
bulk of her emotions. After the handsome physician examined her over her
nightclothes, he asked if there were any personal needs that wanted attention.
She told him about the prickly rash on her thighs, and she lifted her gown
herself, and spread her legs for him. When he touched her slick inner lips, she
moaned instead of pushing him away, and she nodded when he rose over her to
undo his trousers. She had wanted him desperately, welcomed him into her body
and, while the sensations were glorious for a few minutes, she suffered a deep
ache of unfulfilled desire for hours when he left her more in need than ever.

When Geoffrey died three days later, she saw the doctor at
the funeral, escorting a woman heavy with child, presumably his wife. Cathryn
barely noticed him, and it wasn’t until later that day that she realized what
she had done. Double adultery, although she spun it into a harmless affair once
she found she was not breeding with the doctor’s issue. A small bit of comfort
during a bleak period of her life, a sin confessed and nearly forgotten.

“Is that why you didn’t mention it when I asked you before?”

“Yes. I thought of it afterwards, but the timing was poor.
I’m glad you know now.” She heaved a sigh of relief. It did feel good to be
done with the telling of that tale.

“We should have no secrets between us. They grow to be
walls, and I want you where I can see you.” He sat forward and handed her a
spoon with the last of her dose. “I think we should retire early. We see the
solicitor tomorrow at eleven, if you’re feeling up to it.” He had taken her
disclosure very calmly, and she hoped this would be the last time they
discussed it.

She downed her medicine, glad for the relaxing effects she
was already experiencing. “I’ll be up to it. I’m eager to see justice done.”

The Ahlquist solicitor wore a disapproving frown as he
listened to the account of the past three days. He tsked loudly. “Yes, I read the
accounts in the morning’s papers. A knife to his throat, in front of a hundred
witnessing essayists?” He tsked again.

If the man tsked one more time, Julian swore he would
disembowel him. “He spoke poorly of Lady Sibley. It was a matter of honor.”

Mr. Curtis folded his hands before him and shot Cathryn a
judgmental glance. “She
is
technically his wife.”

Julian’s repressed rage broke through. He lunged out of his
seat, placed his hands on both sides of the man’s smaller ones and snarled, “Are
you married, Curtis?”

Curtis drew back with a look of alarm. “No, my lord.”

Julian struggled not to grab the man by the collar and
explain the subtleties of courtship with a punch to his pug nose. Instead, he
leaned closer, until he nearly stretched across the desk and could see fear in
the man’s beady eyes. “Are any of your business partners married?”

“Of course, my lord.”

Then you are discharged, you miserable sack of shit.
“Find
one who cares for his wife and turn this case over to him.”

Curtis rose with a jolt. “Yes, my lord.” He hurried to the
door. “As you wish, of course.”

As the weasel scurried away, Julian collapsed into his chair
with a hand over his throbbing wound. He was unused to such pain and it clouded
his thinking. Fortunately, Cathryn was an alluring distraction in ivory lace,
and her serene presence soon calmed him. He had to keep his wits about him if
he was to win her, but circumstances were conspiring to raise all his hackles.
He thought himself in control of his emotions, but Cathryn’s safety was now his
sole desire, and he felt vulnerable because of his obsession with her.

He’d recovered his composure just as a large, elderly
gentleman joined them. “Lord Ahlquist, a pleasure. I’m acquainted with your
father. I’m Henry Privet. Mr. Curtis has brought me up to snuff on your
particulars, and I assure you, I am firmly in your corner. From the facts I’ve
heard, and what I read in the morning rags, you have a very good case.” He
turned to Cathryn and bowed low. “Lady Sibley, Mr. Curtis failed to inform me
of your great beauty. It will be a pleasure to serve you,” he said as he winked
at Julian. “I understand your urgency in this matter.”

This was more to Julian’s liking and he returned the man’s
easy smile. “I wish to marry her soon, so I can protect her properly.”

Curtis’ chair creaked as the portly man sat. “You’ve paid
the debt, now you only need to obtain Hedges’ signature. I have men who will
perform that service.”

Julian wondered how that would be done, but he wouldn’t ask
such questions in front of a lady. “He wants her badly now. Given his lack of
interest these past years, his assault on her seems likely due to my
involvement.” Julian’s body heated when he thought of the man laying hands on
Cathryn. Now that he’d done it twice, his life was in serious jeopardy. Not
surprisingly, the man had disappeared and could not be found to challenge.

Julian struggled to stay in control of his emotions. He
needed to pummel something, soon. He took a deep breath, searching beyond his
anger for pertinent information. “He claims the contract to be a debt of honor
to his cousin.” Any honor Hedges’ owned was now forfeit. “He’ll have to retire
as a fellow at Lincoln if he marries, and I warrant he doesn’t look forward to
being separated from the collegial environment—the brotherhood of men, so to
speak. Perhaps we can use that angle to convince him.”

He wondered if he should mention the allegations of
impropriety with other boys while at Eton, but didn’t want to upset Cathryn
further. He and Rune agreed it best she not know that part of the visit to
Lincoln, and the “you preferred boys” comment hadn’t made the press. He did
hope the accusation had reached the captive audience’s ears, and that Hedges
now suffered from far more than his neck wounds.

“It would be quicker than the courts. Most of the judges are
out on the circuit right now. It might take until next session to get you
before a judge here in London, and now that you’ve been in the press…”

Julian’s hand slammed down on the desk and his injuries
throbbed anew. “I’ll not wait six months to marry her.” He wanted to marry her
today, had to marry her soon to protect her. Eloping to Gretna Green was much
on his mind, for the first time in his life.

“You could give him the
Digenis Acritas
,” she said
softly.

He’d nearly forgotten she was there, so consumed was he by
his growing rage. He fought to sound calm. “What?”

She cleared her throat. “He thinks you have a completed
translation that will beat his to publication and make his irrelevant. You
could offer to hold off, or destroy it.”

“That’s brilliant, love.” Why hadn’t he thought of that?
Laudanum and anger clouded his brain. So simple, but it might work.

“I’m not certain I like the idea of my freedom being
bartered for, but if it will persuade him…”

Privet made some notes before he looked up. “I’ll have my
men look into all these possibilities, and get back to you within a few days at
most.”

Julian was exceedingly proud of his lady, and he turned to
face her. “We’ll be out of town from Sunday on, but my staff can reach me.” She
was as eager to see justice done as he was, but she radiated calm resolve. Her
composure was contagious.

“May I inquire your destination?”

He was feeling distinctly better. “Gorham House, we’ve been—”

“The Burns’ residence?”

Julian realized that visiting Melina could ruin Cathryn’s
standing in the
ton
, and he assured the solicitor. “We’re going on a
scholarly venture—”

Privet scoffed, but his round face filled with mirth. “You
have my complete discretion, my lord. But I know the lady, and her husband
Charles. There’s nothing scholarly about either one. You’ll have a wonderful
time, exactly what you need after your ordeals. You’ll especially enjoy the
baths.”

Cathryn naked in the Gorham grotto. That image definitely
restored Julian’s good humor.

The baths filled Cathryn’s thoughts as she glided up the
stairs of her townhouse an hour later. She was falling in love, and she felt
Julian was as well. She hoped he would be the first to declare his emotions, as
she feared she would shout hers out during the ecstasy he showered upon her.
Perhaps when they were naked in the bath, floating, they would exchange words
of love…

An open window at the top of the staircase gave her a quick
chill, and she secured the latch before she continued on to her chamber. She
needed only a few items and she would be ready for the visit to Chelsea and
another night at Ahlquist House. Molly was waiting and would likely have
everything ready. How nice that she’d returned.

Cathryn opened the door to her bedchamber and another blast
of cold air hit her, along with the scent of danger. A prickle up the back of
her neck straightened her spine, and she spied a pair of feet lying in the
doorway to her dressing room. Molly’s boots.

She turned to flee, but a strong hand from behind clamped
down over her mouth, hauling her tight against his tall, lean frame as he
hissed, “Where’s the damn Sapphos? It’s rightly mine.”

All last evening she’d replayed her assault, and she was
primed to defend herself. Her leg raised and she slammed her heel down on the
booted foot of her assailant, causing him to grunt in pain and loosen his hold.
Her elbow dropped as she twisted her body and put all of her weight into
flinging her arm back around to strike her attacker’s chest. Her aim was off,
and her elbow caught Hedges dead across the windpipe with all the force a
small-boned lady could muster. The hand over her mouth fell away, and her
piercing shriek charged the air before she began to scream, “Help! Help me,
Julian!” over and over.

Choking from her counterattack, Hedges jerked out to grab
her. She lashed back with the nails of both hands, leaving three long welts on
either sunken cheek as she continued yelling. He stepped back in pain, and she
pivoted towards the door. Her gown billowed behind her and his foot landed on
the hem, jerking her to a stop.

Julian’s frantic calls grew closer and Hedges cursed. She
felt her dress set free just as the door flung open and Julian stormed into the
room. He enfolded Cathryn in his arms as he twisted her to safety and put
himself nearest Hedges. Releasing her near the door, he swung back, but Hedges
had taken off for the dressing room, where he leapt over Molly’s silent form
and headed for the open window.

Julian withdrew his dagger and threw it with such force that
it knocked Hedges out the window as it hit his shoulder. His screams as he fell
from the second floor could be heard echoing off the neighboring houses.

Cathryn jumped out of the way as a battalion of footman
entered. They nearly bowled her over and trampled poor Molly as they rushed to
the window to peer out. “Watch your feet!” she shouted over the commotion.
Victor appeared and crouched over his sister.

Julian came to her side and kissed her hair, neck, face and
mouth, even though half the men were watching them. He was winded, and his
voice shook slightly. “Love, are you all right?”

“Yes, I think so, but Molly…”

Victor held the slight form of his sister in his arms. “I’ll
take her to her room, she’s breathing steady…”

“Send for the surgeon. I’ll be in presently.” She knew
Victor would care for her well.

A young man Cathryn didn’t recognize slipped past them. “I’ll
go for the doctor and send up one of the maids.”

“Good,” Julian said tersely as he returned his attention to
Cathryn. He took a deep breath as he examined her. “Did he hurt you, love?”

She shook her head, and a nervous laugh rose in her throat. “I
rather think I hurt him, to be honest. I saw Molly on the floor and turned to
run but he grabbed me, and I remembered everything we practiced.”

His eyes were full of the rage she shared.

“Julian, I slammed him and…” The magnitude of what she had
just accomplished sank in as she continued, “I bashed his neck with my elbow
with all my might, and I scratched his face with both hands—oh, I left awful
marks.”

A thrill of exhilaration hit her as she realized that she
was unhurt, but she had done that dreadful man a world of harm.

The footmen were still hanging out the window. “He’s running
down the alley, my lord!” one yelled to Julian.

“Go after him!” He still held her, but his body was tense as
an animal ready to pounce.

The men turned as a group, and not one volunteered to jump
out the window. “It’s a long drop, my lord. He’s lucky if he didn’t break a
bone or two.”

Another livery clad young man held up his white glove,
stained red with blood. “Your dagger hit the mark, my lord.”

“Not if he’s running,” Julian said with a scowl. “Go follow
him, the fastest of you. There’ll be a trail of blood.”

Four men sprinted for the door.

Julian’s arm tightened around her. “You did very well, love.
A true lioness.”

“Fiona will be proud, won’t she?” Cathryn didn’t know why
that was important, but it was.

“Very proud.” He wrapped both arms around her as his men
cleared out of the room. His heart pounded beneath her cheek, in contrast to
his calm words. “You’re becoming more of a legend each day.”

He kissed her with more than a hint of adoration in his
tender caresses, and she felt a surge of relief and pride.

A look of concern crossed his handsome features and he said,
“I hardly think you need my protection.”

She hurried to reassure him. “If you hadn’t come when you
did…he still had hold of me…” Julian tensed. “It’s all right, darling, that’s
the main thing, isn’t it?” She stepped back to cup his cheek when she noticed
the stain of blood covering the bottom half of his shirtfront.

“Dear God, Julian, you’ve hurt yourself!” She felt a pang of
guilt. “Running up the stairs, you must have reopened your wound.”

His breathing was becoming shallow. “Now that you mention
it.” He looked down at the blood, which had also stained the front of her dress
as he’d hugged her. “It does hurt like the very devil.” He stepped back and
rested against her bed, pressing both hands against the wound.

A footman hovered nearby and Cathryn turned to him gravely. “Send
the surgeon here after he attends to Molly.”

The man gave her a quizzical look, then he shifted his gaze
to his blood-soaked employer and his eyes widened with alarm. “My lord?”

Julian responded with a scowl. “She’s right, Harry. The girl
comes first.”

“Yes, my lord.” His face was still uncertain as he backed
out of the room.

“Send up hot water and bring bandages, ointment and brandy,”
she instructed as he started to close the door.

“Immediately, milady.”

Julian gave Cathryn a wan smile as he gingerly reclined on
her bed. “I think I’ll rest while we wait.”

“I hope that’s the last we see of Hedges.”

“Somehow, I think I’ll be present at the man’s death.” He
managed a pained smile as she came to his side and took his hand, surprised at
the strength of his grip. “Call it a premonition.”

“I wish he’d broken his neck when he fell.” She started to
release his hand so she could examine his bandage, but he wouldn’t let go.

“It’s likely just a few stitches come loose, love. It will
wait a few minutes.” He patted the left side of the bed. “Climb up here with me
and let me hold you.”

A quick look at his shirt told her the blood hadn’t spread
any farther, and she understood his need for intimacy, so she didn’t argue. All
she wanted in the world was to be safe in his arms, if only for a precious
minute.