South Row (5 page)

“One of you,” Trace barks at us once we’re inside his office – trying to sound tough I presume. “Start talking.”

To the normal man, Trace would be intimidating. His office is a little scary with all the totems and tribal Indian masks around the space. Otherwise, it is very masculine and utilitarian: a laptop rests on his shiny mahogany desk; a large, comfy leather chair sitting behind it; the wide glass expanse of windows behind that, so he can overlook the club; a wine shelf to the corner of the room; a printer in another corner; a mini fridge; a door leading to the parking lot of the club; and a secret door, made to look like a mantle fireplace on the other end of the room, that leads to the bar and the main club area. I’ve been in here one too many times to be intimidated.

“Talk,” he growls and I have to bite back the urge to giggle.
The big, bad, boss man.

Okay, I’
ll go first.

“
What the fuck were you doing up there, South?” Collin yells. Soooo…I guess he’ll go first.

I almost blanch under his ire. His eyes are swirling
mad; his heaving breath testament to his anger. The veins in his neck are protruding and his nostrils are flexing with every angry intake of breath. I should be scared. But, like I said, I
almost
blanch.

“
Who the hell do you think you are to judge what I do?” I yell right back. I wanted to throw a
fuck
in there somewhere, but somehow couldn’t. So maybe his anger disarmed me a little.

“
Who am I?” he shouts. “Yeah, who the fuck am I?” He visibly starts to calm, to retreat.

No, don’t back down!

“I’m nobody. You’ve been gone for ten years, South. Ten
years
,” he stresses
years
as if I don’t know how long I’ve been gone.

“I thought–”
he pauses and looks away, but I see the hurt in his eyes.

“
We thought you were dead. That he–” Collin squeezes his eyes shut as if in pain. When he reopens them, the anger from earlier is back.

“
Not once did you reach out to us to let us know you were okay. The whole fucking town spent weeks looking for you. Some of us, months!” he rages, and I know he’s referring to himself.

Well, when he puts things like that I sound like a selfish bitch.

“But here you are, alive and well, sliding up and down a crab-infested pole, slutting it up for lowlife perverts,” he spews with disdain.

“Pot, meet kettle,” I shoot back. He’
s pissing me off.

“
Hey, I run a clean, upstanding establishment,” Trace butts in.

“
Shut up!” Collin and I yell at him at the same time.

“
Don’t shout at him!” I snap at Collin.

“You just did!”
he accuses with his hands in the air, I’m guessing in exasperation.

“
I’m allowed!”

“Now, wait just one–”

“Shut up!” we yell at Trace again.

I scream in f
rustration and stomp my feet. I’m not throwing a tantrum. I just…saw a bug. Yeah, that’s it. A bug.

Collin pauses and stares at me. His lips twitch into a smile that he tries to fight. It makes me calm down and try to fight the smile tugging at my own lips.

“Don’t,” I warn, the smile appearing in earnest. “I’m mad at you.”

“Well,”
Collin mutters, that panty-melting smile now in full force. “I’m mad at you, too.”

We are locked into another stare. I know he needs answers, but I just want to get my fill of him, and apparently, so does he
of me.

The door bursts open, shattering the moment. We turn to see Connor being drawn back by a very pissed off Jesse.

“I tried to stop him, boss,” he says, struggling with him.

“All of this is my fault,”
Connor admits. “If I had just told you both about each other, none of this would have happened.”

Still pissed off at my best friend, I walk over to him and step on his toes with my stiletto.

“Fuck!” he cries out, hopping on one foot and trying to clutch at the injured one. “Goddamn it, South!”

“
Better her than me, little bro,” Collin asserts conspiratorially.

“
So, you approve of this abuse?” Connor wisecracks, straightening up.

“
This is no time for jokes, Connor!” Collin booms.

Damn.
His anger is back in waves. He’s swinging between emotions today. This is unlike him. He only used to have mood swings when something wasn’t right with him, and other than me popping back into his life, it seems something else has him behaving a little…off.

Jesse releases Connor and leaves us alone. We all turn to Trace, thinking he
’ll do the same, but he doesn’t.

“
If you think I’m leaving you here with this guy,” he sticks a thumb in Collin’s angry direction. “You’ve got another guess coming.”

Collin narrows a glare at my boss and I quickly jump in before Collin bites his head off as well.

“He won’t hurt me, Trace.” I walk over to my boss, my heart pumping with uncertainty. Collin is super pissed right now; I’d never seen him like this.

I tell Trace
once more that I’m safe with Connor here, to which he grunts his disbelief; saying that I’ve kicked his ass twice already, so
he’s
actually safer with
me
. I agree and Connor snorts his dissent, while I glare at him to butt his ass out. After toying with Trace a little more, me being all sultry and sexy, he finally relents and leaves the three of us alone. Hey, you have your ways and I have mine. Don’t judge me.

“
So, that’s how you do things, right? You seduce your way out of things. I wonder how many men have been burned by your siren’s charm,” Collin sneers.

Okay, I deserved that. I did seduce him ten years ago. But then, where was his self-control?

“Some people can resist and some people can’t. I guess some people are just weak.” A low blow, but hey, he started it.

Collin
’s face hardens at my comment. He knows I just took a jab at him for fucking me all those years ago; for succumbing to my seduction.

“Fuck you!” he seethes, stepping closer to me.

“No, fuck you!” I step further into him and we’re so close now, I can feel his warmth pulling me closer.

“I already did,” he voices, low and smug,
the bastard. He even has a smug-assed smile on his face.

His proximity, that damn smile, just makes me hot in all the right places, but also pissed as hell. I don’t know if I should knee him in the balls or hump his leg like a bitch in heat.

“What?” I hear Connor say, reminding us that we aren’t alone.
Shit!

“Goddamn it!” Collin runs a hand through his hair and walks away from me. I can’t say I’m not disappointed that he is no longer close to me.

“You did what?” Connor mutters, not believing what he just heard.

How do I tell my best friend that I slept with his brother ten years ago without it sounding bad?

“So, um,” I begin nervously.

“Tell me you guys didn’t,” he begs.

I can’t even look at him right now. No matter how I put it, the whole thing looks bad. Had we gotten caught all those years ago, Collin would have gone to jail for sure. I wasn’t even thinking about that then. All I could think about was having Collin’s hands all over me and having him inside me. I’m a terrible person.

“Connor…” Collin steps toward him, but Connor steps back, disappointment rolling off him in waves.

“It was that time she went missing, wasn’t it?”

Neither of us answers
; the truth pouring off of our guilty consciences.

“That was
ten years
ago, Collin,” he says in disgust and disappointment. Then, like a light goes off in his head, his eyes brighten. “That’s why,” he whispers.

Connor looks at his brother and I see a frisson of guilt pass over Collin’s features.

I’m lost.

“Fuck,” Connor mumbles, shoving his hair out of his eyes.

He stares at his brother again in disbelief and with…I dunno, sympathy?

“All those years
…that’s why,” Connor murmurs with a thoughtful look on his face. I’m still lost.

Collin gives a quick rueful nod, so quick that I almost miss it. I would have if I wasn’t staring at him and wondering how his lips would feel on mine. Firm, sensual, I bet.
Focus, South!

Connor’s face morphs into a shit-eating grin. He looks over at me and his smile widens in a Cheshire
cat grin and I am momentarily freaked out.
Weird…

“Dude,” Connor speaks. “You are so fucked.”

And, once again…I’m lost.

“Girl, you sure know how to give a performance!” Lulu exclaims as I wipe the makeup off my face.

I
’m back in the dressing room getting my things together after Collin told me, none too gently, to pack my shit and that I was leaving. That little bite of command in his voice got my lady bits clenching and creaming, but I defiantly told him that he couldn’t tell me what to do. Connor stood there, not hiding his fascination at the both of us biting each other’s heads off. Finally, I relented with a sly grin when Collin cursed, looked up to the ceiling, and mumbled that I’d try the patience of a saint.

Of course I wanted to leave with him. I just didn
’t want to come off as too easy.

“
You’re making out with sexy women, you have men swooping in to rescue the damsel in distress and stopping the show,” she muses. “Girl, you’re literally a show stopper.”

“
All in a night’s work,” I gloat, shoving the last of my things in my Fendi travel bag.

One of the perks of this job: getting stuff from your many adoring, and somewhat creepy, fans. This precious Fendi bag is just one of the few gifts I
’ve received since I’ve been here. I keep my gift receiving at things like this: bags, shoes, sometimes flowers. I’ve been offered jewelry, cars, having my rent paid, money. I’ve even been proposed to…more than twice. There have been dangerous moments where I’ve been stalked, attacked by crazy fans, even threatened by wives whose husbands had been out every night spending their hard earned cash on me; but, the good outweighs the bad.

“Toodles, Lulu. I’ll see you on Monday for that private party. You’re going right?” I ask, as I stand, tucking a curl behind my ear.

“Oh, yeah. Boss man put me on it. I hear the guy is a cash cow, him and his friends. I’m really looking forward to the tips for that night,” she informs me.

The tips
, I muse silently. It’s why I do this. It’s why every stripper and exotic dancer here does this, and why we all aim to be damn good at what we do. We were all just lucky to pass through the doors of Totem Pole. Anywhere else, we would have been hard pressed to sustain ourselves.

“I can’t wait,” I tell her. “Bye, doll face.”

I leave the room dressed in the clothes I arrived at the club wearing: tight, stone wash blue jeans, grey ankle boots and a grey blouse that shows off my pierced belly button and midriff. When I reach the lobby, Collin, Connor and their friends are awaiting me – all of them unbelievably handsome.

“
Aren’t I a lucky woman to be surrounded by this many handsome men? Have I died and gone to Heaven?” I gush.

Collin shoots me an irritated scowl, but I could care less for him and his hissy
fits. I’m enjoying my eye candy view…of him as well.

“
Sweetie, I think
I
have died and gone to Heaven,” one of them comments as he walks over to me and takes my hand, kissing it.

He is tall, blonde and handsome
. There is a twinkle in his eye when he straightens up from kissing my hand and he winks at me. Definitely a player.

“
I’m Luke,” he introduces himself. “That’s Johann.” He points to the sexy, dark-haired, Hispanic-looking man standing alongside Connor.

“
He’s got a girlfriend,” Luke whispers in my ear. Johann scowls at him and I giggle.

“
That over there is Wyatt,” he says referring to the tattooed version of Clarke Kent. Jeez, he’s handsome, buff and rugged. My girly parts are doing the samba for this one.

“
He’s married,” Luke tells me, and I deflate.
Damn it. A girl can look though.

“You already know Connor.”
He gestures to him with a flick of his head. “And you already know Collin.”

I chance a
nother look at Collin and find him staring back at me. His jaw is clenching and he looks about ready to blow.

“He’s en–”

“Can we go now?” Collin interrupts Luke. Grumpy much?

“M’
lady,” Luke utters, extending his arm.

I giggle, about to slip my hand through his, only to find there is no arm to slip mine through...and no man. Collin draws him away roughly and glowers at him before placing his warm hand on the small of my exposed back – tingles running up and down my spine at his touch – and leads me out of the club.

We walk around to the parking lot and as we near my beat up black Honda Civic, I get self-conscious. These men around me are obviously men of means, men with more money than I can ever hope to earn, and here I am: an exotic dancer with a crappy apartment and an even crappier car.

“
Oh shit, I owned one of these in college!” Wyatt exclaims pointing at my baby. “I got so much pussy in the back seat of Lola.”

“
You named your car?” I ask with a smile, relaxing and not so self-conscious anymore.

“I name all my cars,”
he replies. “In high school, I had Bertha, my dad’s old station wagon. In college I had two girls: Lola and Irene, both Honda Civics.”

“Now he’
s got Ursula,” Johann chimes in. “His Jeep Grand Cherokee.”

“
Ursula is
stacked
,” Luke expresses, making lewd gestures with his hands in front of his chest.

I laugh, feeling even more at ease with these guys. Fishing out my keys, I feel Collin
’s hand run up my back again. His touch messes with my head so much that I drop the keys from my – now shaking – hand. My skin is heated and all I can think about is where I would prefer his hand. On my stomach. On my breasts. Between my thighs…
oh, yes
!

I realize I’
m frozen to the spot when Collin reaches down and snatches my keys up. He stares at me intently when he places them back into my hands, our fingers touching and sparking. His lips part and his Adam’s apple bobs with a swallow.

All of a sudden, it feels like we
’re the only ones out here. The night air becomes thick with a tension that we don’t dare break. My nipples pebble at the intent of his stare and my mouth goes dry. I peek my tongue out and wet my lips. His eyes follow, dilating at the simple action.

Collin’
s hand tentatively reaches out and grips my hip and I almost groan, biting my bottom lip to prevent it. Belatedly, I realize that I’m panting and that Collin is inching ever so slowly toward me. His eyes catch sight of my tightened peaks and his sharp intake of breath is enough to undo me. My legs start to feel very much unlike my own, weakening. I have never had such a reaction to anyone in my life. It has only ever been him.

“
This is great,” I faintly hear what I think is Connor’s amused voice.

Collin jolts, knocking the keys out of my hands again. Moment broken. He swallows thickly and blinks away the veil of desire that had him hypnotized.

As if I did something wrong, he glares at me. Glares! The nerve of the man. I narrow my eyes at him and huff, bending clear over in front of him to retrieve my keys. My ass bumps into his erection and he hisses. I smirk with triumph knowing he is that affected by me. Collective groans ring out from the guys as they stare at my butt.

“You can’
t bend over like that, Pippi,” Connor says, openly adjusting himself.

I smile at the use of his childhood name for me. He always said my hair reminded him of Pippi Longstocking. Never mind that her hair was never as red as mine. I remember telling him that I felt more like a Carrot Top than a Pippi, but he had said that it was his opinion and his nickname to give. I never argued with him again.

“Gross, Connor,” I mutter, scrunching my face up.

No matter how close we are, the lines of friendship have never been
crossed with Connor and me. We’ve never even thought about it. Were always friends and always will be. But with Collin? I wanted –
want
– to have his babies. He doesn’t need to know that, though.

“
Can we focus?” Collin snaps. Gosh, he’s moody.

“Sir, yes, sir,”
I tease, snapping to attention.

The guys chuckle around me and Collin
’s glare becomes even deadlier. I have to clamp my mouth down tightly just so I don’t dissolve into a fit of giggles. It is so easy to rile him up.

“
Where do you live?” Collin asks.

“
Not too far from here, about seven blocks.”

I don
’t tell him that my apartment is shit. I have a crappy apartment for a reason. The same reason I have a piece of shit car and the same reason I work in a strip club. Call it cliché, but I am paying for college – culinary school. I love cooking. Food uplifts me when music fails. Creating a masterpiece from a few ingredients always gets me. It’s one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.

I learned to cook when I was ten by my mother. She was such a sweet soul, beaten down by a monster. I…I don’t even want to talk about them. But, my aunt further reinforced that creativity when I went to live with her. She loved to cook. She was a chef at her old diner in Nebraska. When I saw Collin that night ten years ago, I wanted to tell hi
m goodbye. The odds were that I’d never see him again; but my mom gave me specific instructions not to tell anyone where I was going and I followed them to the letter.

When I left home after that night, I got on a bus and headed to my Aunt Adeline. Aunt Addy was my mother’s older sister and her only living relative. For years they had each other and were as close as close could be. But after meeting my father a few times, Aunt Addy stopped coming by to visit.

Aunty Addy didn’t have any children. So when the courts saw that she was fit to take me, per my mother’s last will and testament, she took me in and treated me like I was her own. She changed my name to hers – Tate – and showed me the ways of a culinarian. I always felt that my aunt’s talent was wasted in that Podunk town, but she loved that place and loved to create for the people around her. Only problem was that, although they loved her cooking, they hardly ever paid her; which piled on the debt, and unfortunately, the stress.

My aunt died just after my high school graduation. I took the few thousand dollars she left for me in her will, hitched a ride to San Francisco and enrolled in cooking school. When I realized I wouldn’t be able to finish because of my lack of finances, I decided to get a job. McDonald’s, as much as it gave me cooking experience, was not cutting it. Stripping was out of the question for me, so that’s when I met Trace, and the rest is…cliché. Yeah, yeah, the rest is history.

I have made my crappy apartment as much of a home as I can make it. But I really don't want them to follow me home like I’m some kid.

Then it hits me: Collin still probably se
es me as a kid; his kid brother’s kid friend. Disappointment ricochets through me like a bullet at the thought, but a new resolve kicks in.

Collin
will
see me as more than just his brother’s kid friend. He will see me as a woman and devour me as such. You wait, Collin Danes. You won’t know what hit you.