Southbound Surrender (27 page)

“No kidding,” Piper whispers. “What are the odds?”

“Yeah, what are the odds, Shaman Amy?” I ask.

Amy shrugs her shoulders and says. “Pretty good, I suppose. When the universe insists, she really insists.”

“What happened? I thought you were living in the Appalachian foothills. Big Dave told me you lived in a cabin with no running water and no outside contact,” I say.

“I did live there for six years after I left Wisconsin,” she says. “I wandered to town on occasion and that’s where I met Ben’s father. After Ben’s death, I left and went on the road.”

“So the part about your son is true?” Piper asks.

“Yes,” she replies.

“I’m guessing we’re pretty far from any truck stop,” Piper says, waving her hands all around. “There’s no client here. Why did you lie about never being in Miami before?”

Amy’s eyes begin to glisten and her face falls, “I lied because it’s so much easier to be someone else. It’s so much easier to be someone I’m not. It helps me forget everything. That’s why I went on the road and why I wear what I wear. If I dress the part, then I can make myself believe that I’m someone else.”

“I get that,” Piper says as she puts her hand on Amy’s arm. “Sometimes it’s easier to forget.”

“What’s in Miami, Amy?” I ask.

“My family,” she says with a crack in her voice. “My family lives just a few blocks over. I left them over twenty-five years ago when I moved to Wisconsin. I used to visit once a year, and I was making plans to visit again to introduce them to their grandson. And then Ben died, and I couldn’t bring myself to see them. So I held a small ceremony by myself, and I wrote them a letter to tell them what happened. They never even got a chance to meet their grandson.”

“Oh, Amy. I’m so sorry,” Piper whispers.

“All of the spiritual practices that I had been preaching for twenty years to all my clients went out the window. No matter how hard I tried to channel Ben, I couldn’t reach him. I just couldn’t come to terms with the loss, so I left everything behind. I left Shaman Amy in the cabin,” she says as she looks sadly at me, “After I saw the picture of Luella, I felt ashamed about how I was running away from everything. It was like she was coming back to tell me something. You both were so kind and thoughtful the night you saved me from the cowboy. It reminded me of what I’ve been missing for all these years on the road. I never let my parents get a chance to be there for me, so I hopped in a truck with a client who was heading down to Miami. I had him drop me off just a few houses down from my parent’s house.”

“What happened? Did you see them?” I ask.

She shakes her head, “I couldn’t. I got scared because I didn’t want to deal with all the feelings that were coming back to me. All the feelings of being Amy again. Instead I walked down to the beach and then was sad that Ben would never get to see the beautiful crash of the waves. I decided that I didn’t have to be Amy if I didn’t want to be. I was going to hitch a ride to the nearest truck stop when you saw me. So here we are.”

“Here we are,” Piper whispers as she embraces Amy. “There are people who love you here. There are people who have been missing you for the last three years. And Ben, your sweet precious baby, gets to see those waves just like you do. But he gets to see them for a different view. He gets to see them from heaven.”

Amy nods her head as a tear rolls down her face. She whispers, “I know.”

“I think I know why we saw you again,” Piper adds.

“I can’t go back. There are too many memories,” she starts, but her voice cracks.

And I realize then, like Piper had already come to understand, that we have one last thing to do on our journey. The universe is calling on us for a favor that only two motherless children can do for a childless mother with red sparkly shoes.

“Amy, you helped Big Dave when he needed it most. You managed to give him hope in a hopeless situation in order to give me a good life. I’m grateful for everything you did for him, and I think it’s my time to return the favor. We’re bringing you home, Amy. Miami’s our last stop, and I think we all know, it’s time to go home.”

Chapter 17

If you would have asked me on the beginning of this journey if I would have imagined Piper and me standing on the front steps of a house somewhere on the north side of Miami with Shaman Amy, reintroducing her to her family after three years, I would have said hell no.

But that’s one thing that this journey is teaching me. The unpredictability of life is part of its beauty. It’s a journey that no one can foresee or prepare for.

So we stand here on either side of Amy, holding her hands as we wait for the door to open. And I think for a moment that I can feel her heart pulse through her body and into the tip of my hand.

“Tell Big Dave I said hello,” Amy whispers.

“Don’t worry, I will,” I whisper back and squeeze her hand.

The door finally opens to an elderly woman with flowing hair just like Amy’s except hers is white. She stands in the doorway for a moment, not even so much as passing a glance at Piper and me. Her eyes are focused on the woman between us. And suddenly, the realization hits her, and she’s rushing forward in one large sweep and wrapping her arms around Amy.

Piper and I let go of Amy’s hands at the same time, stepping back in silence off the porch as we watch a mother and daughter embrace for the first time in three years. We’ve already said our goodbyes and well wishes to Amy. We leave her there, buried in her mother’s arms. Piper’s hand finds mine as we move away from the house and turn down the sidewalk.

“It feels good to bring her home. I know if I could, I’d love to see my mom again,” Piper says.

“Me, too.”

Piper gently swings her arm as we move down the sidewalk toward Joe’s Locks, which is only about seven blocks away according to my estimation. After two blocks, she says, “Now what? We never finished the trivia contest. There’s no declared winner.”

“I think I would have won anyway. I think my cinema knowledge is more extensive than yours. If there would have been a section on that for the SAT, I would have gotten a perfect score.”

“Oh, please. I would have won easily,” she replies, “And I can’t believe you’re still bitter about getting a lower score than me. You better get used to losing if you want to hang around me for longer than a few days.”

I shake my head, “I’ve got a secret arsenal I’m waiting to unleash on you.”

“I’m not even going to go there. I have no words for you,” she pauses and her face gets serious, “But really, what are you thinking about doing? I mean, if you’re on the road all the time, I won’t ever get to see you.”

“I know. I’m still thinking about how this is all going to work. I think I’ll try to get something local in Appleton first. Come visit you on the weekends, and see how things go,” I reply.

“How about Madison?”

“Well, if you can assure me that your roommate of yours isn’t going to snap my neck, maybe I’d consider it.”

“Already done.”

“We’ll see. The world is my oyster, right? Maybe I’ll take some night classes. I know you always wanted some little doctor babies down the road.” I squeeze her hand.

“Whoa. Slow down, there. Let’s make it back to Wisconsin first and then let me get through my finals. And then the next four years of school and then my residency and then… ”

“Exactly,” I say.

“It’s been an unbelievable three days. Is this what every delivery is like? I mean, I love adventure and everything but…”

“No trip has been like this. Ever. Period. Not even remotely close,” I say with a laugh. “I think it must be you.”

“I’m glad I made your trip so remarkable. It’s like a fantasy,” she replies.

“Believe me, you have no idea. The whole waterfall and back of the cab thing, that’s been a fantasy since the day I met you. That would have been an awesome scene in the Fifty Square Feet, Five Days movie.”

“I agree. Well, considering that we’ve lost almost all of today with truck hijacks, life-altering secrets, and a dramatic homecoming, I think we’ll have three more days to relive that fantasy of yours,” she says coyly.

“Don’t even get me started. I want you every which way in that cab, and there’s nothing that’s going to stop me.”

“Good, that’s what I like to hear,” she replies, not missing a beat.

I stop on the sidewalk and pull her body into mine. “I knew you for five days before you left me for five years. Now I have you, and I will never let you go.” I tilt her chin up and press her lips softly, tasting the peach that melts in my mouth. “I promise.”

***

“You ready for this?” I ask, still gripping the handlebars. Piper’s arms are wrapped around my waist and her helmet is pressed into my back. The cool Wisconsin spring air was unforgiving during the ten minute drive on the Shovelhead. We dropped Cash Money off at V&S to a waiting Viv, who simultaneously slapped and hugged me. She then pulled Piper in for a hug and made a joke about a three-way. I was glad to know I was still one of Viv’s favorites. Viv had the Shovelhead waiting in the warehouse.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Piper replies as she finally releases my waist. “You did it already, so now it’s my turn.” I hold out my hand to steady her as she climbs off the motorcycle. She pulls the helmet off and shakes out her blonde locks before setting it on the seat.

I can’t help but stare at her.

“What?” she asks.

“Just wondering if there’s ever a time when you’re not stunningly beautiful.”

“Yes, and you don’t want to see it,” she laughs and takes my hand. “Let’s do this.”

To most people, cemeteries are depressing and miserable and leave the living with an eerie reminder that their time will someday be up and that they’ll be buried six feet below, long forgotten. But I’ve always liked going to cemeteries, especially this one. It reminds me of the lives that were lived and the people who were loved. Cemeteries remind me that life is worth living. And most of all, this cemetery is where I get to visit the mom I love but don’t remember.

And today, I’m bringing home the love of my life to meet Luella.

We stopped in Chicago on the way back to Appleton so I could meet Piper’s mom, Darlene. I held Piper as she cried and introduced me to her. Darlene was a large gray cross, bigger than most of the headstones in the cemetery, and Piper said that according to her dad, it was because she lived a life more courageous and bigger than anyone he’d ever known. So for Darlene, it was fitting. Piper then told her mom that we were already sleeping together and of course, that we were using protection, and that if she were alive, she would really like me. I told Darlene that Piper was right.

As we get closer to Luella’s headstone, I see someone bent over it. I stop and give Piper a questioning look.

“I couldn’t help myself. I called him when you were pumping diesel. I thought maybe you would want to talk to him before I met Luella. It would make me feel better about meeting her,” she says as she lets go of my hand. “I’ll wait here.”

I nod my head and walk the path to Luella’s grave alone. Big Dave pulls his head up when I’m just a few feet away.

“Cash,” he says softly as he holds out his arms.

“Dad.” I embrace him briefly before I pull away and realize that I’m grateful that I had three days to cool down from the anger and betrayal that overwhelmed me. I could maybe, just maybe talk reasonably about this. “Dad, I…”

“Cash, I know,” he interrupts as tears well in his eyes. “I know how angry you must be. How hurt you must be that I didn’t tell you. Every single day I wondered if I was making the right decision. I wondered when would be a good time to tell you. I just never found the courage to and for that, I’m so ashamed.”

“Dad, I just wish I didn’t find out the way I did. I wish I would have heard it from you.”

“I know, believe me, I know. I didn’t want you to worry,” he said. “I felt like if I told you how she really died, that you would worry about your own health. And I …” He stops and inhales deeply, and I know that Big Dave is on the verge of breaking down.

“It’s all right, Dad. It’s all right. We’ll get through this,” I say as I pat his arm.

“It was my fault.” His voice cracks as he tries to finish. “Your mom never should have gotten to the point she was at. She was complaining about headaches, but we both just blamed it on the lack of sleep since you were born. She was nauseous and dizzy, and I didn’t bring her to see someone like I should have. I was too busy and stressed at work to notice that she was falling asleep earlier and earlier every night. I should have been there, but I wasn’t. If I would have brought her in earlier, the tumor wouldn’t have been as deep as it was.” His words are running together now as a tear rolls down his cheek.

“And she shouldn’t have been watching you on her own either, but she insisted that she did. And oh Luella, I never should have left you like that. I’m so sorry. I put you both at risk,” he says as I put my hand on his shoulder. “Cash, I’m so sorry. I left my job then and that’s the reason why I don’t work at some high-paying, stressful job anymore. I left all that behind when Luella left us. It was too late then for her, but I didn’t want it to be too late for you.”

I hug my dad then and let him collapse into my shoulder as the pieces of my life work themselves together. It all makes sense now.

“It’s okay, Dad. You’ve been there for me my whole life. I can’t think of a better dad.”

“When I saw Dr. Sullivan in the principal’s office that day, I felt like all my ghosts were coming back to haunt me after we had made it for so long,” he adds before he clears his throat and pulls away. He looks behind my shoulder, catching the gaze of Piper and nods his head. His voice is stronger now. “But I know that you found the one, just like I knew when I found Luella. The universe has a funny way of working things out.”

“Tell me about it,” I say with a shake of my head. “You are never going to believe everything we went through in the last six days. You’re going to love it. I met Shaman Amy.”

“
You
met Shaman Amy?”

I nod my head.

“Did you take pictures?”