Southern Lights (18 page)

Alexa had recently demanded that he have a further medical exam to see if his body ejaculated sperm, or if it remained trapped elsewhere, as happened sometimes with men who had severe kidney problems and had been on medication for years. There was no evidence that he was, and he had refused the exams, which he had the right to do, and had offered to come in their eyes.

Everyone was tired of it, and him, as the interrogation wore down. He was so completely without remorse or concern, claiming he’d had nothing to do with any victim, and had neither raped nor killed them, that if anything, he looked bored. And in passing he made a comment that all the women he’d met in Iowa had been dogs, sluts, or cheap whores. Alexa saw Charlie tense as he made the comment, and sat there willing him not to react. For some reason then, maybe knowing that one of the victims was Charlie’s sister and wanting to goad him, he said that he wouldn’t have stuck his dick into any girl in Iowa, or most of the states where he’d been.

Charlie was tired and had been up all night, after meeting with the parents of several victims, and trying to get more information from them. His sister had been dead for a year that week, and his own parents were still devastated and so was he. But Quentin wouldn’t give it up. He kept talking about “dogs” and “sluts” and “cheap whores” and what he would and wouldn’t do to them if he had the chance. And before any of them could grab him, Charlie was out of his seat like lightning, had literally flown across the table and had Quentin by the throat, and he was in even better shape than Luke. Charlie had a choke hold on him, and Quentin responded in kind. The two men were literally strangling each other, as every cop in the room and even Alexa dove toward them to break it up.

Someone hit an alarm, and there was chaos in the room as people shouted, grabbed, scuffled, it was nearly impossible to drag Charlie off him, but two of the men finally did. Jack was standing there sweating profusely, his own shirt torn from his attempts to break up the two men. He said not a word to Luke but shouted in his detective’s face, who was choking and spitting on the floor. Luke was back in cuffs and being dragged away, spluttering too.

“What the
fuck
were you thinking? Are you out of your mind? You’re off the case.
Now!”

“I’m bringing charges!” Luke shouted through the door as it closed, with no time to cast smoldering looks at his attorney, or menacing looks at Alexa or anyone else. It had been an incredibly dumb thing for Charlie to do, and would probably win him a year’s suspension for attacking a suspect, but he clearly needed the time off, and Jack was furious with himself for not taking him off the case before. He was quietly talking to Sam Lawrence and the other special FBI agent, who had actually been the ones to pull Charlie away from Luke. Jack explained again about his sister, and they nodded, and finally one of them laughed.

“Look, relax. I would have liked to do it myself. I just didn’t have the balls. I have three sisters, and this guy is a piece of shit.” But they also had a responsibility to protect him, and not kill him themselves. “I’m not going to file a report,” Sam said. “He had it coming. You guys can do what you want.” Jack knew he had to file one anyway. He told Charlie in his office half an hour later that he was suspending him for a year and sent him home. He had done a great job until then, but the stress had been too much for him. Quentin had killed his twin. Charlie had apologized profusely to Jack before he left, and said he would fly back to Iowa that night, but he and his family were planning to attend the trial.

Jack looked even more exhausted when he showed up in Alexa’s office after Charlie left.

“Shit. That’s all we needed. Thank God the FBI guys were nice about it. McCarthy is going to kill me when he hears it. I should have taken Charlie off the case as soon as we knew his sister was one of the victims. I don’t know what I was thinking. I must have shit for brains.”

“You’re human, like anyone else,” she reassured him, but it had been a tense moment, and a very stupid mistake on Charlie’s part. He had totally lost control. “This case is getting to all of us.” It had impacted everyone’s life, including hers.

They sat and ate Power Bars together for an hour, and to distract her, he asked about Savannah, and once again she admitted her concerns, and shared them with him.

“She went to see her grandmother there. She’s settling in, and it worries me a lot. I don’t want her falling in love with Charleston and deciding that’s where she wants to live.” It was a major concern for her, but the alternative, of bringing her back to New York, was worse, and out of the question until after the trial.

“I don’t have any, but it seems to me, kids do what they want, and usually just the opposite of what their parents want for them. I don’t think you’ll have much control over what she decides. But even if Charleston is pretty, it’s not New York. She’s used to a bigger world, and she’s going to college.” He had a point and what he said reassured her, and they went back to talking about the case. She was going down to Charleston herself that weekend. She could hardly wait to see Savannah, but was dreading all the bitter memories it would revive for her, some of them even bittersweet.

In the end, there was no major fallout from Charlie’s outburst in the interrogation room. Both the DA and the FBI were satisfied with Jack’s suggestion of a year’s suspension, and with the fact that Charlie was already gone and had left that day. There were extenuating circumstances, since his twin sister was one of the victims. And with him off the case, it wouldn’t happen again, but it had been a close call. No one knew what could have happened if the other men hadn’t been able to stop Charlie. It would certainly have solved the problem, but created others far worse for him. No one would have been sorry to see Luke Quentin dead, except Judy Dunning, whom Alexa now referred to as “the fool.”

By five o’clock on Friday afternoon, when she had to leave for the airport, Alexa was flying around her office stuffing files into a bag. She wanted to do some reading on the flights down and back. The rest of the time would be dedicated to Savannah and whatever she had planned. She barely made it to the airport on time, and talked to her mother from the cab. She looked and felt a mess, and totally unprepared to face her old world. She had told her mother about Charlie McAvoy earlier in the week. Emotions were running high on the Quentin case, and Muriel commented that it would do her good to get away. Alexa wasn’t as sure, except for seeing Savannah. She was terrified of the rest.

“What are you afraid of?” Muriel asked her from her chambers. She had just finished work for the day. It had been a good day for her. Her life wasn’t fraught with the drama of her daughter’s. She couldn’t have lived that way, or worked as hard, although she had in her youth. Those days were over now. She was busy, but her life was not going at breakneck speed. Alexa’s was. Muriel hated this case for her, and all the stress she had.

“I don’t know, Mom,” Alexa said honestly. “I guess I’m afraid she’ll stay, that Tom will be so nice suddenly, and Charleston will be so seductive, all that beauty and southern charm. I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. Why wouldn’t she? What if she never wants to come home, or live in New York again?”

“She may love what she sees there, and want to go back for a visit, but I’ll be very surprised if she wants to live that far from you, for now anyway. And her sights are set on college, not on moving to the South, or discovering her roots. She should know about it, and I think it’s good for her to see. I always thought that, it’ll take care of any curiosity or magical beliefs she might have had about it. But Savannah is heading for college, that’s all she cares about now. You were out of college and in love with a man older than you. That’s a life Savannah can’t even imagine and doesn’t want. Not for a long, long time. If you ask, I think she’ll tell you the same thing. She was curious about it, but no more than that. And being there for three months will put all those questions to rest.”

“I wish I felt as sure.” Alexa was only slightly comforted by her mother’s words, although she made sense.

“Are you sure you’re worrying about Savannah and not yourself?” Bingo! Alexa knew instantly her mother had hit a nerve, by how uncomfortable she felt. As she always did, she had gone right to the epicenter of the pain.

“Yeah, maybe I am,” Alexa said honestly, trying to figure out what part of it she feared most. It was hard to say. “I was so happy there, I loved Tom so much, and his boys. I trusted him completely, and I thought we’d be together forever. And now all of that is gone, and someone else is married to him and living in that same house. It’s a little hard to take.” And she had hated him for it for years. He had stolen all her dreams, and destroyed all her trust. She had never been able to rebuild it since, with anyone. He had burned her to the ground. “I would have preferred never to go there again.”

“Sometimes we have to face the things that hurt us most. Maybe you won’t heal till you do. You haven’t yet.” They both knew that was true. “You can’t move ahead until you bury the past, and all that agony and hurt is still alive for you. Maybe this will do you good.” Alexa thought of it as the cab pulled up in front of the terminal, and she told her mother she had to go. But she knew that she was right. Her pain was still alive. None of it, nor the disappointment and feeling of betrayal, had dulled in the past ten years. If anything, it had gotten worse. She had no man in her life and didn’t want one, because she couldn’t forgive or forget the one who had hurt her most. Nor had she forgiven Tom’s mother, or his wife, who had urged him to betray her in every possible way. It had been a cabal against her, because she wasn’t one of them, hard as it was to believe now. It sounded crazy, but was true. Luisa had won by geography and tradition, and like Ashley in
Gone with the Wind
, Tom had been weak. She couldn’t forgive him for it even now. And ten years of not forgiving him had poisoned her, like a radioactive substance she had ingested years ago, still coursing through her veins. It burned her insides with a searing pain. She hadn’t wanted Savannah anywhere near those people, but she had had no other choice.

Alexa ran through security, and barely made her plane. She didn’t want to miss it and disappoint Savannah. It left at six-thirty, and landed after eight. Her heart caught as she saw the airport. She had told Savannah she’d call when she arrived and meet her at the hotel. She didn’t want her to wait alone. She got her bag and hailed a cab, and gave him the name of her hotel.

The drive to the city was familiar and brief. Her heart ached when she saw the bridges, and the church spires she had loved. One of those churches was where they had christened Savannah. The city was full of memories for her, like a too ripe plum ready to explode. She had to force them from her mind. Before she got to the hotel she called Savannah, who was waiting for the call in her room. It was almost nine o’clock by then. She had been planning to drive over, but her father had said he would drop her off, since Alexa had arranged for a rented car through the hotel. He knew her mother probably wouldn’t want her driving downtown alone. Savannah let him know when she got the call, and she ran downstairs with her small bag. She had kissed Daisy goodbye that afternoon, since she was spending the night at a friend’s. Luisa was out playing bridge that night. Tom had opted to stay home. He and Luisa were on extremely tense terms, but sleeping in the same room. Barely, but they were.

“You must be excited to see your mom,” Tom chatted easily on their way to the Wentworth Mansion. Alexa had remembered that it was the best hotel in town, and had originally been built as a home. It was still one of the city’s loveliest Victorian mansions, with every possible amenity and comfort, and gracious, beautifully appointed rooms, Tiffany glass ceilings, fine antiques, and a spa Alexa knew Savannah would enjoy and where they could both relax. It was in the heart of the city, with shops and restaurants all around it, and spectacular views of historic Charleston right from the hotel. Alexa was hoping it would be a treat for them both, and Savannah wouldn’t have cared if they stayed in a motel. She just wanted to see her mom. She could hardly wait.

“Yes, I am excited to see her,” Savannah answered with a broad smile and dancing eyes. “She’s my best friend,” she volunteered. “I miss her a lot.”

“I know you do,” Tom said, wishing he could fill the void somehow, but even if she enjoyed spending time with her father, it was too late for that. Thanks to him, he knew, they were acquaintances, not friends. He hoped to deepen their relationship while she was there, but contrary to her mother’s fears, three months wasn’t long. And surely not long enough to make up for ten years.

Tom followed Savannah into the Wentworth Mansion, carrying her bag. She hadn’t brought much with her, and said she could wear her mother’s clothes. Savannah bounded into the lobby like a young puppy, and as soon as she did, she saw her mother standing at the desk checking in, and nearly jumped into her arms. The two women hugged so tight and clung to each other so fiercely that they looked like one body with two heads, while Tom stood quietly by, unnoticed by both of them. Alexa ran her hands over Savannah’s hair and face and arms, as though she had been starving for her. Tom could see they both were, as Savannah clung to her mother like a child. It was a full five minutes before either of them remembered he was there. And he felt a secret sadness, watching them and knowing that he had created the fierce bond they shared, by abandoning both of them. He felt left out, and knew he had no right to more. He had it all once, and betrayed them, and now he lived in the ashes that were left. Both Alexa and Savannah were like rays of sunlight filtering into the darkness of his life through prison bars. It was a prison he had built himself, out of weakness and fear.

“Well, you two look mighty happy to see each other,” he said, smiling at them both. None of his sadness showed. He appeared happy for them, and in fact was jealous of what they shared. Everything about them was pure gold. Alexa immediately stiffened when she saw him. She had forgotten he was there, and so had Savannah. Alexa tried to be polite. She was grateful for the haven he was providing their daughter, but he was still Tom, the person on the planet she hated and who had hurt her most. She watched him as he hugged Savannah, kissed her, and wished them both a good weekend. It looked sincere, but who knew with him, Alexa thought to herself, and blamed it on the South, as she always did, still convinced that every southerner was a hypocrite and a liar, waiting to betray a loved one or a friend. It was too late to convince her otherwise. For her, they were like a separate nationality she abhorred.