Southern Seduction (117 page)

“Bathroom gossip, Ms. Hamilton?” he asks, an eyebrow cocked up, a cocky grin on his face. “I wouldn’t have pegged you for the type.”

My heart’s racing as his thumbs begin to rub small circles on my body, and I’m wishing he’d slip his hands underneath my shirt for skin-on-skin contact. Steeling my chin, I meet his eyes. “I was just trying to save her professional dignity. I knew what your response would be due to company policy and I didn’t want her to embarrass herself.”

I know he doesn’t buy my answer the moment his grin turns wicked. “That’s very noble of you. So it wasn’t jealousy that had you telling Ms. Kensington that I was in a committed relationship?”

I can feel my cheeks turn pink as I flush with embarrassment. “No, no, not at all,” I say a little too quickly, shaking my head like an idiot.

That stupid, idiotic, sexy-as-hell grin widens, and I know, once again, that I’m caught. “You are so full of shit, Cheyenne. Admit it. You were jealous. You couldn’t stand the thought of me with another woman. Of her hands on my skin. Her lips on my neck. The thought of me pressing her up against the wall the way I did with you on Friday drove you absolutely fucking crazy, so you made up some bullshit story about my having a woman. So who was your fictional woman for me? Was it you, pretty girl? In your mind, for one split second, was I yours?”

Even after all this time apart, it’s still uncanny the way he can read me. The way his eyes are penetrating my gaze is unnerving, and part of me wishes I could just admit it, scream yes, and throw my arms around him so he can take me right here on this table. The other part of me, the one I want to stab right now, remembers his words about company policy, and I know it’s not just limited to clients.

I have to tear my eyes away from him before I can answer. “No, Sawyer. You haven’t been mine for a really long time.”

He inhales sharply, and I miss his closeness the moment he moves away from me. Without another word, he packs up his briefcase and walks towards the door. I’m frozen, unable to move as I watch him go. The quick change from cocky playboy to pissed-off boss throws me off, and suddenly I’m not sure how much longer we can continue this cat and mouse game.

I think he’s about to leave when he turns back towards me. His eyes have a sadness to them, and it kills me knowing that I’m the one who’s causing it. “No, Cheyenne, I guess I haven’t been. And whose fault is that?”

Without another word, he opens the door and exits the room. I sink down into a chair, and for the first time in almost six years, I allow myself to remember the day I fell for him and try to forget the day I ripped us apart.

July 2008

Cheyenne

After that day at the lake when I let my guard down and finally let Sawyer explore my body, I raced home and browsed the Internet and read every ‘How to Please Your Man’ and ‘Guide to Giving the Best Blowjob’ article I could find. After reading all about the different tongue techniques, hand placements, and the pros and cons of ass play, I began to feel overwhelmed. As it turned out, I didn’t need Internet articles telling me what to do. Sawyer ended up being the best teacher, and we spent the next few weeks exploring each other every chance we got. He was tentative at first, but I think I left him so hot and bothered that day on the lake that it didn’t take much to get him to give in.

At first I thought it’d be weird, having him tell me exactly what he liked. Instead, it was thrilling. Listening to him give me commands was such a turn-on, and it wasn’t long before I felt like a blowjob-giving aficionado.

He hasn’t mentioned my request to lose my virginity, and I haven’t brought it up again. I only have a couple of weeks left in Shiloh Grove, and while I’m excited to go away to school, I’m already dreading leaving him. I have no idea how he did it, but he got inside my heart, dug in deep, and I’m not sure how I’m going to let him go—or if I’m even going to be able to. At the beginning of this summer, I was counting down the days until I was out of this town. Now, I’m trying to resist falling asleep at night because that’s one less day I have with Sawyer. It figures that I’d meet someone who makes me feel more than I have in ten years, just to have to say goodbye after three months. That’s what I feel like I’m always doing with the ones I love—saying goodbye.

The thought is too much to bear, and I decide that lying on the couch lost in my thoughts isn’t doing anything to help my mood. Getting up from the couch, I head to my room to get a head start on packing. I’m lost in the playlist on my iPod when all of a sudden, my door bursts open, and I jump.

“Holy shit! You scared the hell outta me!” I yell when I see Mama standing in front of me. I haven’t heard from her in almost a month, and I have no idea where she’s been. To be honest, I stopped caring, and my heart sinks, knowing that my summer is about to change. No more late nights wrapped up with Sawyer on the couch. None of his sneaking in my window, even though he has a key. He thought it was romantic, climbing in, and I relished the nights I woke with him beside me. As disappointed as I was at the beginning of the summer when she decided to abandon me, I’m more disappointed that she’s shown back up.

“Sweetpea, is that any way to talk to your mama after you haven’t seen her in two months?” she croons, making my skin crawl. She crosses the room and pulls me into a big hug, but I just stand there, arms at my side. Leaning back, she looks at me and frowns. “Cheyenne, sweetie, it looks like you’ve been spending too much time in the sun. You need to be careful,” she says, and I can’t help but roll my eyes.

No, “I missed you Cheyenne. It’s good to see you, Cheyenne.” It’s negative. And for the first time this summer, I feel inadequate. I hate that she can waltz in and do this to me.

Ignoring her comment, I pull out of her arms and go to sit on my bed. “My skin’s fine, Mama. What are you doin’ here? Where the hell have you been?”

Her eyes widen with excitement and she flutters her left hand out in front of me. I see a big, gaudy, ridiculous-sized diamond on her finger. “I’m getting married! I just came home to get my birth certificate so we could go and get it done. Thomas and I don’t want to make it a big deal. Neither of us has much family, so we’re just going to make it something small, intimate, just the two of us.”

Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. She doesn’t have much family. Her own daughter isn’t worthy of being at her own wedding. Awesome.

“Great. Fantastic. So freakin’ happy for you,” I say, standing up, ready to walk out of the room.

“What is your problem, Cheyenne? Thomas is a wonderful man. He’ll provide for me, for us. He’ll be your stepdaddy. You’ll love him,” she says, her words causing my blood to boil.

“No, Mother,” I say for the first time, not calling her Mama. I’m done. She doesn’t deserve to be called that, and even Mother is a stretch. “I won’t love him. He will not be my stepfather. The only daddy I’ve ever had died ten years ago serving this country. And I’m glad he’s not here to see you like this. He’d be as ashamed as I am,” I spit out, causing her to reel backwards.

Pushing past her, I rush into her room and find her jewelry box. I’ve spent more than enough time playing with her jewelry, and it almost killed me when she took off her rings to start dating again. For years I’ve been sneaking into her room and taking out Daddy’s ring to inspect. I’m pissed as hell that she even thinks that anyone could ever be my stepdad and that I’d ever love him, especially after this stupid whirlwind romance they’ve apparently been on. Knowing her, he might be my stepfather for two whole months before he decides she’s too much for him.

Finally locating the rings, I take all three of them—her engagement and wedding rings and his wedding band. That woman doesn’t deserve any of them. Stuffing them into my pocket, I turn to leave when I see her leaning against the doorjamb.

“What are you doing, Cheyenne?” she asks quietly, almost timid.

“I’m taking what’s left of Daddy. Obviously you don’t give a shit, so it’s mine now,” I tell her, knowing that my words probably hurt, but right now, I really don’t care.

I watch as her face drains, and part of me is telling me not to do it. That maybe, just maybe, some part deep down inside of her still loves him, but the angry, irrational Cheyenne wins out.

“Cheyenne, please, calm down. This could be a fresh new start for us,” she says softly, almost hopeful.

I shake my head, knowing that it’s way too far gone for any fresh start. “No, Mama, there’s not going to be any fresh start for us. You’re starting your new life, and in a couple of weeks, I’ll be starting mine.” She grimaces at my words, and for once, I wish she’d fight for me, for a relationship, but she’s always found it easier to just let go. “I sincerely hope you’re happy.”

Without another word, I quickly move past her, grab my bag, and head out into the dark Georgia night, knowing exactly where I need to go.

Sawyer

It’s a little after dark when I pull into Cheyenne’s driveway. The weather was shit today, and I didn’t get a chance to see her at the lake. Missing her, I flew out of the house as soon as Wyatt and I ate dinner, something that he’s insisted we do every night, and I have to admit that I’ve really enjoying getting to know my mother’s brother.

The house is dark, and when I crawl through Cheyenne’s window, I try my hardest not to get mud on her wooden floors. My eyes adjust to the darkness and I see she’s not in her bed. Her room’s a mess, something that is quite unlike her. Searching the house, I realize she’s not here. I leave through the front door and skip down the steps, going to my truck, knowing exactly where she must be.

It doesn’t take long for me to get to the lake, and my eyes scan the shore until I see her sitting on the edge of the dock, legs dangling over. Pulling my boots and socks off, I move to join her. She doesn’t look up at me as I sit down next to her, and I can immediately tell she’s been crying. Without saying a word, I wrap my arm around her and pull her into me. She turns, her head resting on my chest as her hand comes up to grip my t-shirt. The waterworks explode and she’s soon sobbing against me, dampening my shirt. My hand strokes her hair as she cries it out.

“Shh, pretty girl. Everything’s gonna be okay,” I tell her, even though I have no idea why my girl’s crying in my arms, but it doesn’t matter. If my words can comfort her, then that’s enough for me.

“It hasn’t been okay for a really long time, Sawyer,” she whispers, finally calming down just a little bit. She pulls back away from me, sniffing, wiping her eyes. She gives me a small smile, and my heart flip-flops just a little bit.

Cheyenne’s beautiful, even with a runny nose, red-rimmed eyes, and messed-up hair. The way she’s smiling through her tears makes me want to lean in, kiss her, and finally tell her how I really feel about her. I know we started this whole thing as a fling, a friendship, but it’s turned into so much more.

When I came to Shiloh Grove, I never imagined I’d find myself not wanting to leave, nor did I ever envision meeting someone who makes me feel more than I ever have. Someone who makes me want to work my ass off the next two years in school and possibly move to California. Yeah, I know it’s crazy. It’s been a whirlwind summer, and we haven’t even slept together, but I’d uproot my life and move to Berkeley if I could just so I could be near her.

She sighs, and I’m pulled out of my thoughts. “I know, babe. And I hate that for you, but you’ve got a bright future ahead of you. Just think of all that sunshine you’re going to have when you head to California,” I tell her, even though the thought of it kills me. “You wanna talk about it?”

Shaking her head, she stands up. “No, I really don’t. Let’s just say that Mama popped in with an announcement, and we had an argument. I don’t want to talk about it. Hell, I don’t even want to think about it right now.”

I watch as she walks off the dock and waits near the shore. She gestures for me to join her. As I walk towards her, she begins to remove her clothes, first her t-shirt, and then her jeans, which she slowly slides down, causing my mouth to water. When I reach her, she pulls me in for a kiss, her tongue quickly tangling with mine, and I relish in the taste of her strawberry lip balm.