Usually, Kain had been the aggressor in their relationship, but Rave hungered for this—Kain could see it in his eyes. If Kain wanted Rave back in his life, it had to be on the other man’s terms. Hell, Rave had said as much earlier.
Kain lost his train of thought as he bounced on the bed. Rave followed him down and covered his body. He couldn’t stop the moan that slipped from his lips as their erections rubbed together. Rave’s weight pushed him deeper into the bed—a feeling Kain feared he would never feel again, his lover’s hot body against his. He needed more.
“So good,” Rave whispered.
Kain silently agreed.
Rave latched onto Kain’s nipple with his teeth, and the pleasure-pain was almost too much to bear. He groaned and his cock filled, pre-cum dripping. He wasn’t the only one affected. Rave’s hard cock pressed to his. Kain couldn’t stop himself. He started to move his hips. He held his breath, hoping Rave wouldn’t stop him, and when he didn’t, Kain put his hands to good use. He grabbed Rave’s ass to get better leverage for their grinding dicks.
He wouldn’t last long.
“Rave, I’m gonna—”
His cock erupted before he finished the sentence. Rave followed close behind.
They both lay there, gasping for air. Suddenly, Rave stiffened above him and quickly jumped off the bed.
“You should leave now.” Rave turned and walked through a door to what Kain assumed was his bathing area.
Kain sighed, struggling not to breakdown, and got off the bed, leaving his heart behind. A taste wasn’t enough for him, not after the years of longing to be in his man’s arms again. For a moment in time, everything had been right, the way it should have been if the fucking Alliance hadn’t stuck it’s big fat nose into his life. Now it seemed he was only an itch that Rave needed to scratch. How had it come to this?
He gathered his clothes and left the room. He should have known better. The swoosh of the doors behind him was the loneliest thing he’d ever heard. Would that be the end of it? Should he fight for more or did he get what he deserved for not coming back sooner?
Maybe he should stay in his quarters for the duration of the trip. It could be safer for them both in the long run. Rave had to remain focused in the days to come. Kain couldn’t be a distraction.
I should have left as soon as Rave opened the damn door.
Then again, Rave hadn’t been forced into anything. As a matter of fact, he’d let Rave take control. He should be pissed at the way things ended, but he couldn’t make himself be angry.
With reluctant steps, he made his way back to his room. He’d have to talk to Sela tomorrow. For now, he just wanted to be alone to nurse his heartache.
Chapter Four
What the fuck had he just done?
Thought with your cock.
His inner voice wouldn’t lie. When he’d seen Kain on the other side of his door with lust in his eyes, he’d had to have him. The urge to claim the man had overwhelmed him. He’d made a mistake. Hadn’t he? But he felt alive for the first time in a long time.
It couldn’t happen again.
Maybe he needed a good fuck. It’d been awhile. That had to be it.
Once they retrieved the laser, he’d get it to the Alliance and get Kain off his ship. The Alliance could have Kain back, but no way would he work with them again.
He checked the computer’s clock and calculated they’d be on New Moon in less than two hours. Enough time to rest and forget about his episode with Kain.
Rave’s momentary lapse aside, Kain looked good, and working with him again had sent a thrill down his spine. Something had changed in Kain, but Rave couldn’t put his finger on it. The man almost looked haunted. Rave wouldn’t think about what Kain had been through. He couldn’t. When he’d found out Kain still worked for the Alliance and hadn’t contacted him, he’d gone berserk. He’d hurt so bad, he’d stayed drunk for weeks until Se had snapped him out of it.
Drinking had never helped, but he’d forget, at least for a while. No one should remember DI. He shuddered. Sleeping now would be useless. The nightmares would return. He closed his eyes and saw himself running through trees, a group of men on his tail. The ship had just dropped him off. The damn guard had announced he was court-martialled military. It was as if they’d wanted him dead. He’d started running then. He hadn’t gotten too far before he’d tripped over a branch. The dog had gotten to him first. The men had called off the mutt after they’d reached him. He remembered the first few blows. He’d fought them off, but there had been too many.
“Too many,” he repeated out loud.
He needed a fucking drink.
Rave jumped out of bed and walked to his built-in bar.
Too much had happened that night. He grabbed a bottle of Barian scotch and left the tumbler on the counter. He chugged and worked through the burn. His stomach on fire, he took another gulp. Then another. Finally feeling no pain, he set down the bottle and attempted to collapse on the bed, but he missed and landed on the floor.
He laughed and clawed his way up the bed. “Lights, off,” he ordered the computer.
His door opened, and Rave looked over at it.
“Rave, you okay? I heard—”
“Se, my beautiful, Se. What are you’ doin’ here?”
“Oh, Rave, what did you do?”
“Nightmares chasin’ me.”
“Shit, Rave. You should have talked to me before hitting the bottle.”
“Forget, I have to forget. Kain, DI. No more, Se.”
“I hate seeing you like this. Scoot over.”
Se crawled onto the bed and took Rave into her arms before she noticed his clothes were missing. “Fuck, Rave, where are your clothes?”
“Kain.”
“What about him?”
“Didn’ need clothes. He didn’ need clothes.” He laughed.
“You didn’t.” She looked at his face, and he grinned. “You dirty dog. You did! Get under the covers because
I
don’t need to see your naked ass.”
He struggled with the covers until he found a comfortable spot and snuggled into Se. She stroked his hair for comfort, and he drifted to sleep with her words in his ears.
“Everything will work out, Rave. Give it time. It’ll be okay.”
A couple of hours later, something woke him from his sleep. He couldn’t tell if the pounding came from his head or the door.
“Fuck. I’m never drinking again.”
“I’ve heard that before,” Se’s soft voice drifted over him.
“Shit, you scared me. What are you still doing here?”
“I fell asleep. Are you going to let Kain in, or have him beat the door down?”
He stumbled out of bed and worked his way to the door, still feeling the effects of his bender.
“Shit, Rave, your white ass is glaring at me.”
“Shut it, Se.”
He pushed the button and gestured for Kain to enter.
“We’re getting ready to dock. I would have had the computer contact you, but I’m not in the system so I came down—”
When Kain stopped talking, Rave looked up. The man’s face was deathly white. Rave looked behind him to see what had caused it before turning back to Kain. Rave caught Kain as he looked at Sela then back at him.
“What’s your problem, Kain?” Rave had no idea what would cause the colour to drain from his face.
“Nothing, I just…nothing. I’ll go now. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Kain turned and fled the room.
“What was that all about?” Rave asked as he turned to Se.
“Put some clothes on, idiot. He thinks we slept together.”
“Well, we did.”
“Do I have to spell it out for you?”
“I guess you do.”
“Kain thinks we had sex.”
“Fuck no!” He paced over to his closet, slapped a palm on the door to open it and jerked on some boxer briefs.
“I’m not that hideous, jackass.”
“Shit. You know what I mean. I’m not into girls. If I was, I would have made a play for you ages ago.” He rolled his eyes.
“Kain always thought we had something going. He asked me about it when I introduced you two.”
Why did she feel the need to tell him that?
“This isn’t making my head better. It doesn’t matter. I don’t care what he thinks. Can you get us docked? I’m going back to bed. Wake me in an hour, and we’ll go get Mel then head on to Seid II.”
“Aye, aye, Captain.”
Rave fell back to bed and tossed a pillow at Se. “Love ya, babe.”
“I love you too, Rave.”
She left the room and Rave drifted back to sleep. This time his nightmares revolved around the shock in Kain’s face when he’d seen Se in Rave’s bed.
* * * *
Goddamn it. He
knew
it. He fucking knew Sela and Rave were together. How could Rave go from his arms into Sela’s? Had Rave kissed her with the passion he’d kissed him? When Sela touched his cock, did his breath hitch in the same way? Did Sela know about the sensitive spot behind Rave’s ear that made him moan and bit his lip?
He had to stop this. Kain would go crazy if he kept thinking about Sela and Rave together. Once the mission was complete, he didn’t have to see either of them again.
“Get over yourself, Kain, and fuck you.”
Kain turned at the anger in Sela’s voice. What did she have to be upset about? Unless Rave had told her about the two of them rubbing each other off earlier.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Se.”
“You can’t bullshit me. I’ve known you all my life. Nothing happened.”
Kain curled his hands into fist. He wanted to punch something but gritted his teeth.
“I don’t want to know,” he forced out.
“Yes, you do. I swear, the two of you are idiots. You showing up triggered his nightmares. You get it now? He was well on his way to passed-out drunk when I got there. What you saw was one friend comforting another. And I shouldn’t have to explain this to you, but I love that man like a brother, and I’m not going to have you fuck him over again, family or not. Do you understand me?”
“Shit.” He buried his head in his hands. Again, it was his fault. Always his fault. His shoulders slumped as Se continued talking.
“You and me? We‘re going to have a heart-to-heart. Once we get this bird plotted for Seid II, come to my quarters. My room is on the other side of Rave’s. I expect you there. And you look like shit, go back to your room, and I’ll get us docked.”
He raised his head to look into her eyes. He gave a small nod and left for his room without another word, his thoughts tormenting him.
I should have never come back.
I could have gotten away sooner. I could have found a way to contact him.
He wouldn’t have listened. He thinks it’s your fault he was fucked over on DI.
No, the Alliance is to blame.
Were they?
He hated arguing with himself, but his subconscious played an evil game of tug-of-war with him. Kain could fight with himself all day, but it wouldn’t change the fact Rave hated him. Kain had known the minute he’d watched the vid of Rave in the hospital on DI that things wouldn’t be the same so he’d let the Alliance keep him away. Kain had been too afraid of the hate he would find.
But Rave’s hate had to mean something, right? Maybe there were some feelings still there. Did he want to explore that and risk his heart?
They both had more important things to deal with.
Would they be able to stop the plot to overthrow the Alliance? Should they? He wanted to discuss the Royalists with Rave before he made a choice on going against the Alliance. Hell, what did he care? Kain wanted nothing more to do with the government. He’d rather retire to a luxury planet and enjoy himself. He only wished he could talk Rave into joining him.
He hesitated outside his door. He really wanted to go to Rave’s room.
Fuck this.
Kain turned from his door. When he arrived at Rave’s, he didn’t knock, just pressed pad next to the door to see if it would opened. His hand met no resistance, and he held his breath as the door slid open. Inside, Rave sprawled across the bed, still naked.
Kain peeled off his clothes and headed to the man on the bed. Should he really be doing this? What did he have to lose? Rave might strike him again, but it would be worth it to feel like things were back to normal, at least for a little while.
The covers bunched under Rave. Kain shimmied them down, hoping not to wake Rave as the man lay still. He needed this little stop in time, even if it didn’t last into the morning. Once the covers were situated, Kain wormed his way underneath and pulled Rave against him.
Rave sighed in his sleep and cuddled closer. Kain kissed Rave’s shoulder and let himself drift to sleep. He’d worry about Rave’s reaction later. For now, he had the man he loved in his arms and nothing could go wrong.
* * * *
“Sir, the
Retribution
is out of range,” Ensign Rogers said, causing Seth to pause on his check of the ship’s status.
“Repeat that, Ensign,” Seth asked in disbelief.
“The
Retribution
is no longer in our radar range. They dropped off an hour ago.”
“Why am I only now being informed?” He kept his tone light. It wouldn’t do to show weakness in front of his crew.
“You asked not to be disturbed, sir.”
Seth closed his eyes.
What was going on?
“Can you track them?”
“I’ll plug their last known coordinates into the computer and run a search,” Ensign Rogers replied.
“How long will that take?” It took all Seth had to keep his cool.
“Not long, sir.”
“Did we place a tracking device on Sims before he left?”
“No, sir. He left ahead of schedule, before we had a chance to put a tracer on him.”
Damn it.
He was surrounded by incompetence. Did he have to do everything himself?
This assignment should have been a cakewalk. All they had to do was follow the
Retribution
to Seid II and rendezvous with Anders after Sims convinced him to pass on the laser. Seth’s secondary mission was to kill the two men. A little revenge from the Royalists to show that the Alliance wasn’t as strong as people thought. And a little payback for himself.
“They’re not in the general vicinity, Commander.”
“Put out the notice for Anders’ arrest. Make sure you note that he kidnapped an Alliance officer. They’re out there somewhere, and I want to know where.”