Spear of Light (22 page)

The Jhailing didn't move.

Nona took his arm.

Manny looked like it was a serious effort to keep the look on his face neutral.

Charlie kept standing but stopped speaking. He waited, and took a deep breath to calm down. The Jhailing could kill him.

“We were all born here,” the robot said. “And if I had never been human I would not be alive today. I can't imagine that you understand us. Even Yi cannot understand us. He was born of our strength, but not of our exile.” It looked directly at him, its mechanical eyes a deep and swirled concoction of browns and blacks that only mimicked human eyes in the simplest way. He could almost see galaxies in them. “We mean you no harm at all. We don't hate you. We don't want to hurt you. But we will not be stopped. It doesn't even really matter if you understand this.” Now it turned its attention back to Nona and Manny. “We are going to be ourselves no matter how you react. That is neither cruel nor enlightened. It is merely what is.” It stood up then, looming over Charlie. “Thank you for your time.”

Charlie stammered out a “thank you” before he realized he had said it or wondered if he meant it. Of course he didn't mean it. Damned robots. As he watched it walk away, he felt small and cold and afraid, and empty of the heat that had sent him spitting out so much anger at the Jhailing. He was used to being strong, and right now he had no idea how to be strong. In spite of that, he had to be.

Beside him, Manny whispered, “I'm glad you gave him hell.”

“We'll see.”

Nona came around to where she could look him in the eye. “It doesn't matter. It's done now. And no matter what you gave them, I now have marching orders. Find the invisible insurgents, warn them off, and try to keep the peace.”

He stopped and looked down at her. She was incredibly capable, but that task would be impossible. She didn't know anyone in Manna Springs well enough to stop them from anything, even if she could find out who was causing problems. And it didn't sound like Manny could go back yet. “I'll help you as much as I can from the ranger station.”

Yi looked at him. “I can come with you.”

He didn't want to be with any of the Next right then, not even Yi. “I'll call for you if it's safe. But I think maybe I should start with just me and Cricket. We may need you here.”

“There are two of me here.”

“And if you do come, that one might be all there is.” He put a hand on Yi's shoulder. “I'll be safer without you, and you will certainly be safer.”

Yi looked offended. “I'd like to help.”

Charlie smiled. “For now, will you get Manny back safely to Hope?”

Manny looked like he would prefer to eat nails but looked at Charlie and told him, “Good luck.”

Yi started back toward Hope without saying anything. Manny followed, and the two of them were soon lost in the crowd. One bear of a man and a stick-thin robot. Charlie felt a twinge of guilt. Amfi was gone, and the soulbots were busy with whatever it was soulbots did in Nexity. Manny would be largely alone. This was a man who was used to being surrounded by a huge family and to having a whole town to take care of. It had to be hard on him.

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

YI

On the way back from the meeting with the Jhailing, Yi stayed largely quiet. This seemed to content Manny. Surely they both had things to think about.

Charlie's outburst had been interesting. Yi didn't feel things with anything like the heat that Charlie did. He hadn't run that hot even when he was human. That had been almost a year and a half ago. He could count it to the second if he wanted to. The problem was that it felt like ten years had passed since then. A lot
had
happened—they'd learned to get around as robots, which had taken months. He'd flown here with Charlie. The Next had followed, and he'd taken up learning again, and learned so much. He thought so fast now.

He'd started to think that he was leaving feelings behind, and that that was good, even though the Jhailings who taught him had repeatedly told him that his emotions would keep him sane.

Charlie's outburst had illustrated the depths of Yi's remaining feelings. He'd related to Charlie when he talked back. He'd understood that he resented being kept in the dark.

Yi called his family and asked them to gather.

He took Manny home to Hope and then returned to the city. On the way back, he spoke to Yi Two.
We've been trying to learn what the Next want.

Yes.

We aren't making much progress.

His other self had a different opinion.
We are. We can braid as a whole family now.

But not with any of the older Next.
Yi crossed through the gate between Hope and the Mixing Zone.

That will happen.

When?

When they invite us
, Yi Two said.

See the problem?

A pause.
Yes. But it will happen. We just need to keep learning.

Yi stepped up in front of one of the doors into the Wall. It opened easily for him, letting him into a wide corridor and then into the city. Nexity often changed overnight, as if some programmer drove it with his or her dreams. The parks had become a constant, with real, green grass. Today, steps and bridges for exercise soared over the parks, fresh lawns where Next sat with each other hung suspended in cradles below the bridges, and a large flat expanse that was in the process of becoming some new thing that wasn't yet identifiable occupied a third of the city.
We need to show that we are independent.

Silence.

Think about it. I will be there in a few moments.

Everyone was home when he arrived. Jason One and Jason Two played a card game in the corner. Katherine sat on a stool with her eyes closed, a sort of semi-meditative state she indulged in regularly. Yi knew from experience that she monitored the room closely enough to participate if anything that interested her at all happened. Yi Two and Chrystal had collapsed in a corner, maybe braiding, maybe just talking silently. When he couldn't see their faces they looked alike—both slender and dark haired and perfectly formed.

They hadn't all been in the same place at once for weeks. Not that they lost contact, but they were all busy. Perhaps they were finally as busy as on the High Sweet Home, in that last moment of being flesh and blood. Of course, then they had been building something for themselves, and now he wasn't sure who they were building for. He still had the designs for the jalinerines in his head, and sometime he imagined making more of the sweet little animals.

Did robots make living things?

There would be a place for them. He knew that. But it felt plausible that the Jhailings and the Colorimas and the other high and multiple Next were planning a place where Yi still wouldn't know what was happening, still wouldn't understand what the Next's goals were. Where they would never be his goals.

He pulled himself back the room, to the moment. Having everyone together was a rare treat. Funny how so many of their rituals as humans had been around cooking, eating, cleaning, and sex.

They no longer needed to gather around a dinner table. They moved and they played and they thought and they explored each other. They worked and studied. They talked across the vast networks of Nexity when they couldn't be near each other. He loved braiding more than he had ever liked sex, the intimacy felt both deeper and safer.

But what would happen to them over time?

He had called the meeting. There were five more seconds, and so he simply waited.

Big decisions were made when each of them was disentangled from the others. When they could choose completely on their own and not in the warm mingling of a braid. For this reason, he spoke out loud. “Thanks for being here.”

Chrystal and Yi Two sat up. The Jasons set down their cards. Katherine opened her eyes and turned her stately, beautiful face toward him, radiating calm.

“It's time to change what we're doing,” he said. “At least for me. I have been listening to the Jhailings since they created me.” He looked at the Jasons, who didn't feel created at all, but rather violated. “We've learned a lot. Separately and together. We've become more than we were in many ways.” He caught Katherine's eye, and she shared a sweet smile with him. “We're growing. But it feels to me like we're hitting a wall. We can learn to think faster, maybe we can braid more deeply. But whenever I try to really probe the Next's goals or their technology, they slide me sideways into some other conversation.”

He paused and looked around the room. Both Jasons nodded back, and one held up a hand in agreement. The two were far more different than he and Yi Two, but they both, alone among them, hated the Next. Katherine looked like she was about to close her eyes again, which told him nothing of her response. Chrystal looked thoughtful, and said, “You know they're listening.”

“They are always listening,” he said. “But I don't choose to be afraid of them.”

None of them reacted.

He didn't like the awkward silence. They were in danger of losing each other, even though they were—in some ways—each other. Were becoming that, anyway. He had spent so much time inside of each of their experiences that he felt a little like them all, and it surprised him that they didn't seem to be following him more closely. “Being able to meld into and out of each other is a becoming, it's a way of growing. But we're still only doing what we're told. We aren't acting as if we can think for ourselves.
We are not Next
. Not yet. Maybe never. I'm proposing that we leave Nexity and we go out into the world of humans—however dangerous it is—and we take actions that help the people of Lym protect their planet from the Shining Revolution.”

There, that was what had been brewing inside of him for some time.

Both Jasons stood up. “We will go.”

Chrystal joined, naked. The blue and green dragon tattoo that ran from her neck down to her hips glittered in the bright interior light.

Yi Two looked up at her, his face registering a slight dismay. “One of you was killed by humans,” he said to her, as if she didn't know it.

She looked down at him. “I would like to see Nona, and she cannot come here.”

“Besides, you don't have permission to go to Manna Springs.”

“Are you going to Manna Springs?” she asked.

Yi smiled. “No. But we have no permission to take you anywhere.”

“The Next will not be able to give you permission. They might not mind if you go.”

“It's a risk,” Yi Two snapped. “It's not a good idea.”

“Perhaps,” she said. “But I am tired of this glowing city and its dark secrets.” She rolled her eyes. “And yes, Jhailing or whoever is listening, that is how I feel.”

In some ways, Chrystal had always been more of a rebel than Jason. So now Yi had to hope he hadn't started something more than he meant to.

Katherine didn't stand or even move much, but she looked over at Chrystal and said, “I like my work. I will stay, at least for now. Please stay safe.”

Chrystal came over to Katherine and sat beside her, also in a yoga pose. All poses were easy in these bodies, and the two of them looked very natural. They had been the first pair of the family, and it was through them that Jason, and then eventually and last, Yi, had been invited to become part of it. What if one of them were lost? Or more?

“Charlie does not want us to go with him, but Jason and I visited a place I want to explore more. We'll go there.”

“Will Nona be there?” Chrystal asked.

“Perhaps, eventually. I can't speak for her.”

“Of course you can't.”

Yi Two would stay. He didn't have to say it for everyone to know. Yi had another question to ask out loud. “Should a Jason stay?”

Jason held a hand out to Jason, and Yi Two took a hand, and they all came together slowly, like the first moves in a dance, until they sat in one large circle on the floor, hands still linked for a moment and then dropped. Yi felt warm, sweet. Anticipatory. This was the family he had chosen years ago. Here they were changed more than he could have ever imagined and yet together. It was not his work to keep them that way any more than it was all of their work, but he had taught them to become as close as they were about to, to become almost one being, to live inside of each other's selves as if they shared a skin.

Yi Two took the lead, starting a chant out loud and then taking it internal. Sounds. Just sounds. A way for them all to anchor on the same thing.

It made him shiver. Not physically, of course. He no longer grew cold easily. But it was the same thrill, the same feeling of being right at the edge of falling away from his own ego and into a completely vulnerable place.

At first, as always, he heard his own thoughts. Then he heard Yi Two, then a Jason, then the quiet encouragement of gentle Katherine.

Each began as separate strands, which wove together into a soft network of thoughts until he could distinguish his own only if he chose to.

He loved to hear their deep and slow robotic feelings. Jason's angers became Yi's angers. Katherine's calm became Jason's calm.

They began to come together on the specific topic at hand.

Neither of us wants to stay we want to see the world outside of Nexity one of us has but it's not fair what if both are killed would we rebalance how much danger is there could two of us be useful out there we both want to meet Losianna are you certain the cave needs to be explored what can we learn so far away will Katherine and Yi Two be okay without me they are balanced are we maybe would prefer to keep one the other can go if needed how will we know by seeking long distance can so much be overcome yes it is agreed who will stay the one who has always stayed okay but call for me and we all agree.