Spec (Defenders M.C, Book 6) (4 page)

He cranked the heavy machine under them and the vibration sent a tingle through Candy’s core.  This was like a dream. 

Her fears were banished when Spec took to the road.  Never once did he frighten her or do anything she could call dangerous.  She felt safe snuggled behind him and that was a feeling she never took for granted.

Four

Damn he was going to rot in hell for this shit.  Spec pulled on his boots and tried not to think about how good it had felt to slide into Candy.  She was perfect for him and for some damned reason he couldn’t stop thinking with his dick long enough to show her she was something more to him than a fuck.

“What are you doing?”  She wore a little frown on her pink lips and Spec felt his dick go from sated to hard in an instant.  He hissed as the traitorous organ swelled in his pants.  She hadn’t done anything but step from the bathroom to the bedroom and wore simple pink panties with a white tank top.  She didn’t even have to try and she had him worked up like a teenager.

“I can’t do this!”  He turned to leave the bedroom.  Something like panic clawed at him as he reached the front door, but he couldn’t find his damned keys!  Candy was making him into an idiot.  He stomped back to her bedroom determined to find his keys and then find some space to get his head out of his ass, but when he opened the door he found her curled up on the bed.  Her shoulders shook and her sniffles grated on his ears.

He pushed both hands through his hair and just watched her.

“Candy?”

She looked up, her wide green eyes were filled with tears and her look was guarded.

“Fuck.”  He stepped closer and she gripped the sheet as if it would somehow protect her. 

“I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean it that way.”  He ran his hands through his hair again and adjusted his glasses. 

“It’s ok.  I know what I am.  After last night I knew it was only a matter of time before…”  She choked on a sob and Spec lost the last shred of his resolve.  He sat on the side of her bed and pulled her into his arms, pink sheet and all.

“Listen to me.  I have been waiting a damned long time for you to be free of that asshole.  I know you loved him, or thought you did, and I wanted to give you time to get over him without giving you room to get away, but I wanted to wait for all this until you were sure, but fuck if I could wait.”  He leaned down and kissed her tears away.  “I don’t want to mess this up Candy.  I want more than just sex.”

A sob wrenched from her throat and he pulled her closer, resting his chin on her head.

“I don’t love him Spec.  I just loved the thought of him is all.  I don’t know.  I’m so screwed up.  Things weren’t supposed to be like this.  This is not what I expected at all.  I thought I mattered to him, but I never really did.  It was all in my head wasn’t it?  I made it all up and he wasn’t here to show me the truth.  I’m such an idiot.”

He kissed her head.  “We are all screwed up Candy.  This shit has to be hard on you and I wanted to be here for you, be your friend for a while, but damn it I wanted you.  I’ve wanted you for more than two years.  I’ve got shit in my past, in my life that I don’t know how to handle, but I know that I want you and I know that I can do everything to make you happy.”  He leaned back and looked at her.  “And this is not in your head.  This is me telling you that I want you.  I’m not playing games here.  I may not act the way men usually do, but I don’t want you to doubt that I want you.”  He took a deep breath.  “I may not be here all the time and I may get wrapped up in shit that makes me crazy, but I want this.”  He held her tight and kissed her head.

“I can’t believe this right now Spec.  I don’t know how to believe it.  I don’t know how to trust anything I feel.  What if it fades away and we are both stuck?”

He sighed.  “First off we have to keep our clothes on.”  He looked down in time to see hurt flash across her face.  “We have to give you time to heal and to be able to trust me.”

“I would fuck you all the damned time Candy and I want more than that.  Sex feeds something in me.  It silences something, but I won’t use you that way.  I want more than that and we will take things slow.  We will get to know each other and if things cool between us then we will still have a friendship to hang onto.  I will always be here for you.”

“I thought you didn’t think much of me.  You never were too friendly.”

Spec shook his head and looked down into her heart shaped face.  She reminded him of a pixie, a bad assed bicker chick pixie.  He grinned and kissed her nose.

“I liked you more than I knew what to do with Pixie.  I wanted to do the right thing, but now I want…”

“What do you want Spec?”

He closed his eyes.  “First I want you to call me by my name, not all the time because most of the brothers don’t even know it and I kind of like that.  Keeps me mysterious, dangerous.”  He grinned and shrugged.

“What is your name?”

“Adam.  When it’s just us I want to just be Adam, like we’re normal people.  Like I’m just a man loving a woman.”

Her arms wrapped around him and this time she gave him comfort he had needed for too long.

“Have you ever asked anyone to call you by your name?”

He shook his head feeling like a fool.

“Not even Lizzie?”

He shook his head.  That made her feel special.

“What else do you want Adam?”

Shit.  He felt moisture gathering in his eyes.  No woman had used his name in so long, not one who held him and talked to him in that sweet voice.  He couldn’t seem to find his voice.  He felt his dick go hard and he slid his hands down Candy’s back until he grasped her ass.  He lifted her until she straddled his hips.

“I need to fuck you Candy.”  He closed his eyes as shame burned through him.  He couldn’t control this part of himself, he’d never been able to.  This was the only escape he had found in his life that had brought him a measure of peace.

She just nodded and lifted her shirt letting it fall to the bedroom floor.  Her hands unbuckled his belt as she pushed him to his back and stood.  He let her pull his pants to his knees before she slipped out of her panties.

“One more time Adam and then we are going to go find something to eat and we are going to talk.  I don’t know if I can tell you no next time, but I will try if it’s what you need me to do.”

She slid his dick into her body and he let his eyes roll back in his head.  Nothing ever felt like this.  Nothing ever silenced the demons like this, but this time it was different somehow.  He wanted Candy for more than a quick fuck, he wanted to stay with her.

He groaned as she set a fast pace.  He opened his eyes to watch her wondrous tits bounce as she rode him.  His hands captured the perfect globes and squeezed. 

She threw her head back and moaned his name and something snapped inside of him.  He rolled her to her back and pulled out of her.  Her mouth opened in question, but he shook his and undressed.  There would be no more fucking with Candy, there would be something more with her or nothing.

He climbed back on the bed and kissed his way from her hip to her hard, pink nipples.  His mouth watered as he touched one taught tip with his tongue.  Then he groaned.  She tasted like heaven.  He couldn’t help himself.  He felt like a starving man and she was his only nourishment.  He suckled at her breasts until she writhed on the bed and clawed at his back.  His dick slid against her thigh, still slick from her juices.

“Please, Adam I need you.  Please.”

He lifted his head and surveyed his handy work.  Her nipples were red and swollen.  They glistened with the moisture from his kisses.  He blew a cool stream of air on each one and had her crying out when they puckered more.  He slid up to her lips and slid his tongue between them just as he slid his dick into her waiting sheath.  He had barely entered her when she started convulsing around him.  He lifted his head and watched with rapt attention as she found her release.  He felt something dark and heavy drift away like smoke on the wind.  She did that.  She had released him from his torment by finding pleasure with him, but it would be back, it always came back.

She opened her eyes and smiled up at him.  “That was… mmmm…”

He began to move within her, slowly.  “I want this.  Whatever this is… it’s not just fucking for me Candy, not with you.”

He wanted to drown in the depths of her eyes.  He wanted to stay buried in her heat until he withered with old age.

“This is just for us Adam.  Only for us.”  She said on a breathy sigh and he knew she understood.  Somehow he knew that when he finished this time he would be haunted less by his past and he would be strong enough to find a way to move on.

Five

Spec sat at the scarred table and listened to business.  Harper Towery had given them a great deal of information on the Devils business dealings before they had killed him.  Now Preach wanted to move on some of them before the remaining Devils could regroup.  Rumor was that they were patching over an older club from down south called the Weeds.  They were an old club and had connections with old business.  Preach wanted to get the skinny on that info before anything was solid and he wanted to stop it if he could.  There was a heaviness in the air since Marty had been taken.  A dark cloud seemed to hang over the Defenders.  It felt like they were ghosts in their own land and Preach was desperate for something to breathe life back into his club. 

Marty had refused to talk about what had happened to her and Mike wouldn’t betray her, but they had all seen the damage that had been done to her.  She had taken a beating.  She had lost fingernails and no telling what else, but she hadn’t talked.  She was stronger than most of the men Spec knew and he respected her more.

The Devils had walked in and taken one of their own and it had hit them all hard.  That was on Spec.  Nobody would say so, but it was on him.  He shouldered that burden.  He accepted it.  She had been entrusted to him and she had been hurt.  His heart shivered.  When would he learn to protect those he cared for?  He was just thankful she had survived without any permanent damage.  She had moved on and seemed happy. 

“Fuckers been running heroine, we know that.”  Moose put in as the discussion went on.

“I don’t want to get mixed up in that shit Preach.”  Rider’s voice was quiet, but it carried a weight they all understood.  He still fought with his addiction and running drugs would be too much for him.

“Nobody wants in on that.”  Preach rubbed his hands over his face.  “We get our cut from shit crossing our territory and we don’t have to take the risk with handling it.  Devils are mixed up with more than drugs.  They’ve got a deal with an electronics broker out in Cali.  Seems the guy likes a shipment or two to go missing when certain clients aren’t willing to pay extra for protection.”  He leaned back and shrugged.  “It’s a two way deal.  We protect the shipments he says protect and hijack the ones he wants hijacked.  We make good either way.”

“How the hell are we gonna run that shit?  Peddlin’ stolen T.V.s is for punks and gangbangers.”  Fox shook his head.

Preach held up a hand.  “We don’t peddle anything.  We just do the job and take our pay.  The distributor deals with transporting the goods and resale.”

“Fucking security guards.”  Law spat.  “Sounds like rent a cop work to me.  I’m out on that shit.”

Spec watched the man.  Everybody knew Lawless hated anything to do with the law.  He was a ruthless son of a bitch, but he had mellowed a little after finding Nikki, but in some ways that made him scarier.  In some ways it made the things he would do more limitless.  He was lethal. 

“We don’t even need to deal with it. I think it’s time to pull in a few new recruits.  Let Jack and Tommy boy run a few prospects on this one.”  Preach explained.

Mike snorted.  “Fucking Tommy boy can’t be trusted to do shit.”

Tommy stood so fast his chair fell to the floor behind him.  “What the fuck Mike?  I earned my cut, same as you.”

Mike glared at him as he slowly stood.  “Fuck you Tommy.  You think with your dick too much to have my respect.  You timed out and got voted in.  I fucking earned my cut with blood you little shit so don’t you dare compare the two.”

“That shit happened.  It’s over.  Stop throwing it up to me.  Marty lived through it asshole and you got your girl.  Ain’t nobody talkin about how you fucked her while you had her held prisoner.”

“That’s enough.  You two sit the fuck down or take it outside.”  Preach’s voice was hard as ice.

Mike looked like his head was about to explode.

“No.  Why the fuck is everybody so pissed at me for that shit, but Spec gets a slide?”  Tommy pointed at Spec and he felt his anger rise.

“Because I had something personal to do so I wasn’t there you stupid shit.  You were right inside fucking that redhead.  Marty made it clear she was uncomfortable and you ignored it.”  Spec didn’t take his eyes of the fledgling brother.  “And I have proven my loyalty over years of risking my ass for this fucking club and my brothers.  You are as green as grass.  So don’t you ever fucking question me again or you will disappear.  I watched the tapes from that night and I know what was said.  You may think I’m just a wormy computer nerd, but I could kill you without breaking a sweat and nobody would ever fucking find what was left of you when I got finished.”

The room had grown deadly quiet and Tommy had paled, but his face reddened again almost immediately.

“Fucking creepy when you do that low voice shit Spec.”  Moose put in with a fake shiver that broke the tension in the room.

“I guess I get a pass then too.  I was balls deep in something personal too.  Don’t throw that shit up to me again.  What the fuck were you doing that trumps me fucking a girl?”  Tommy spat poisonously.

“Sit down Tommy.  You don’t want to go there.”  Shadow surprised everyone when he spoke.  His voice was like a puff of smoke as it drifted through the room.  It haunted every man at the table.  If Moose shivered for theatrics when Spec had gotten serious, everyone seemed to be chilled at the icy tone in Shad’s voice.

“I have a right to fucking know!”  Tommy said, although much more subdued.

Spec met Shadow’s eyes.  He was the only man at the table who knew what had happened that night and the days that followed.  Spec had seen him in the rain as he stood in the cold and watched the dirt fall onto the wooden box.

He felt the muscle in his jaw harden.  He didn’t owe anyone anything, but he knew they all wondered.  Maybe they all thought he had dropped the ball.

“My mother killed herself.  I left that night as soon as I got word and I stayed to attend the funeral.”  He kept his eyes locked on the obsidian of Shadow’s and saw a flicker of pain there.  Shadow had loved his mother and losing her had made him into a cold being.  Spec envied him that love.

The room was silent.  Spec turned his eyes to Preach and saw emotions he didn’t want to translate there in the man’s eyes.  Preach nodded once and Spec knew that was all he would get.  It was a show of sympathy and acceptance.

“Sit the fuck down Tommy.  You screwed up, admit it and live with it.  You’ve got a long way to go.”  Preach turned to Jack.  “What do you think?”

“Who you think should go?”

The brother’s got back to business, but each made a point to meet Spec’s eyes in a silent show of support and for the first time in a long time Spec felt the strength of their brotherhood and he allowed it to heal him.

“Got them three hang arounds been wanting to patch in for nearly a year.  Done some gofer shit for us a few times.  Seem ok.”  Moose said from where he lounged in his chair with his massive arms crossed over his wide chest.

“Choo-choo’s been helping out at the shop some.  Candy says he’s good with keeping up with the appointments, real organized.  Weird looking fucker, but he’s eager.”  Ink put in from his seat mid-way down the table.  “Thinking I’ll use him some when Candy starts school.  Got some talent with a pen and ink too.  Candy’s been helping him with that too.”

At the mention of her name Spec felt his heart speed up and a flush creep up his neck.  What the hell had that woman done to him?

“Speaking of Candy…”  All eyes turned to Spec.  “Seems there may be trouble there.”

Spec only raised a brow and Preach continued.  He kept his face completely blank, but his ears heated up.

“Pick put in for a transfer to the Glendale charter.”

The room was quiet and Spec felt all eyes on him, but there were smiles too.

“Says he can’t stay here where he can’t trust his brothers to have his back.  Now we know that’s bullshit, but he ain’t gonna admit that it’s over a woman, especially when he refuses to have anything to do with her.  I know some of you don’t know Pick too well, but he’s been loyal.  I hate to let him go, but I hate to see petty shit throw a man off his club.”

“Fuck that Preach.  Get rid of the girl.  Hell we have others and there ain’t no way we are putting some shank over a brother.  She ain’t patched so that’s all she is.  Send her the fuck to Glendale.  Might work out a whore trade or something to keep us in fresh pussy.”

Spec didn’t remember moving.  He didn’t remember knocking Tommy out of his chair either and he couldn’t remember slamming his fist through the middle of Rider’s face, but when the red haze cleared he found Moose holding him back, Tommy on the floor, and Rider cursing as blood seeped out of his nose.  He let his eyes fall on his brothers that still sat around the table.

Law looked amused.  Mike looked like someone had just given him a present he’d been waiting for his whole life.  Ink looked mad enough to kill.  Even Shadow lifted a brow in some sort of reaction, Spec thought it was amusement, maybe.  Preach’s face though was steady as if he were calculating how this new factor would best suit his needs.

“Can we get on with it?”  Preach said in a bored voice that meant he was anything but bored.

“What the fuck?”  Tommy rubbed the back of his head.

Spec turned to Rider and nodded.

“Yeah man, I knew better to get in the way after that comment, my fault.”  Rider slapped Spec on the back as he grabbed a wad of tissues.  They had worked out their issues over Lizzie and Spec respected Rider for being able to put it behind him.  Spec knew he had only been a substitute in Lizzie’s life.  She had been waiting for Rider the whole time.

Spec didn’t spare a glance at Tommy as he sat back down in his chair.

Preach took a deep breath and glared at Tommy.  “The only goddamned reason you are in this room is because we want you on this job.  Sit there and if you say another fucking word I’ll cut your tongue out and wear it as a necklace.”  He took another breath and continued.

“Like I said, I hate to see Pick go, but I think we need to let him.  If he feels betrayed then he won’t be looking after his brothers and we all need to know our backs are covered.  We can’t take any chances with this new business.”  Preach rubbed the back of his neck.  “He has a mean streak that I’d hate to see pointed at any of us.”

They voted to let the man transfer and Spec felt a little pressure lift off his shoulders.  He hadn’t been looking forward to facing off against the man and the time was coming.  He knew he could win, but he also knew Pick wouldn’t stop until Spec carried a few more scars.  He doubted the transfer would change that.

“Alright.  Spec, I want you, Shad and Law to head south and do some Weed eatin’ make it known that we know the score and if they plan to hook up with the devils then we will put them on the shit list along with those evil sons of bitches.”

The brothers stood and began filing from the room.

“A word Spec?”

He sat back down and faced the President of the MC he had pledged his life to six years ago..

“I don’t get involved with your personal shit…”

Spec held up a hand.  “We both know that’s bullshit.  I seem to remember kicking your ass in Lizzie’s living room over you sticking your nose in my personal shit.”

Spec watched Preach grind his teeth.  He had known he could get the reaction out of the man, his friend, but he still liked to watch.  Preach hated remembering that night, not because of the fight, but because Spec had been fucking Preach’s daughter.  It was a low blow.

“I let family cloud my head that night.  I’d rather forget that, but family matters.”

“If we forget our mistakes we are doomed to repeat them.”

“Stop fucking with me Spec.  I’m not some damned prospect you can jerk around.   Just fucking listen for a change and stop studying me.  Its creepy as shit.  Between you and Shad I feel watched all the damned time and it’s getting old fast.”

“Didn’t mean to rile you up boss man.  What’s up?”

“Two things.  I’m damned sorry about your mama.  I’m damned sorry you didn’t feel that you could share it with us too.  Anything you need to say to me about that?”

Spec shook his head.

“Second is Pick.  Fucker lost his shit last night when he realized it was Candy screaming out your fucking name.  Thought he would kill Naughty before he finished with her.  He’s looking for blood.”  Preach nodded toward him.  “I just hope it’s yours and not hers.  You need to make sure it is.  She may be just a club girl, but we protect our own even from ourselves.  You make sure he keeps that anger on you.  We can’t have this shit going down.  I don’t want this shit getting out of control because you’re bored and want to watch an explosion.”

Spec leaned back in his chair and propped on foot on the opposite knee.  “I do somethin’ against the club by fucking her?”

“That’s what I’m askin’.”

“No.  She’s done with him.”

“He don’t seem to know that.”  Preach raised his brows and leaned back mirroring Spec’s pose.  He clasped his hands behind his head and leaned back on them.

Spec had to admit the man was intimidating.  Even for a man past his prime, he was heavily muscled and Spec knew, well fed.  Mrs took pride in her man and made sure he ate right even when he bitched about it.