Spells & Stitches (38 page)
Authors: Barbara Bretton
RACHAEL HERRON: FIVE THINGS ABOUT KNITTING FOR BABIES
Knitting for babies isn’t like knitting for regular grown-up people, and there are several things I have to chant to myself as I go along, or I end up with gifts that are impossible to give, so they end up sitting on my yarn shelves, glaring at me resentfully.
1. Babies have weird proportions. Wasn’t it Elizabeth Zimmermann who said they were cubes? You can’t consider waist-shaping with a baby, or if you do, give the sweater a Buddha shape, because babies are round, not elongated. And what’s more, they stay that way for a long time. The sweater should be wider than it is tall, which will allow the baby to grow sideways into it. (I have begun designing my own sweaters the same way. I’m not getting any taller, after all.)
2. Knitted baby items take longer than you think they will. It’s all about the planning, friends. See, I’m a pretty fast knitter. I tend to knock out sweaters for myself in a month or so. So when I think of something tiny and darling, I also think, “Oh! I’ll watch a movie and knit up this sweater tonight!” It’s always wrong, and it ends up taking
weeks
to finish something that feels like it shouldn’t take more than three hours. It makes knitting for baby showers a dangerous game.
weeks
to finish something that feels like it shouldn’t take more than three hours. It makes knitting for baby showers a dangerous game.
3. Babies are bigger than you think they are, too. I’m not a mother, so I’ve never really nailed this one. In my head, babies are
wee.
They’re tiny little creatures of delight, and a tiny little knitted sweater will be the most cunning thing ever. Right? I once gave a baby sweater to a woman who held it up to her belly and said, “Oh, my God! I’m not having a
kitten
!” It was all I could do to convince her I wasn’t trying to wish her into have a preemie.
wee.
They’re tiny little creatures of delight, and a tiny little knitted sweater will be the most cunning thing ever. Right? I once gave a baby sweater to a woman who held it up to her belly and said, “Oh, my God! I’m not having a
kitten
!” It was all I could do to convince her I wasn’t trying to wish her into have a preemie.
4. Babies are dirty. If Mom can’t throw the sweater, cap, and matching booties into the washer along with the thirty-two other loads she needs to do, our new little prince will wear them once, and that will be the first and final time he will be seen in your finery. If, though, Mom doesn’t have to think about it when she’s doing laundry? He will wear that sweater all winter, every other day, and there will be a million photos of him wearing it. Unless, of course, he’s a third child, in which case there will be no photos (but that wash-’n’-wear sweater will be even more appreciated).
5. Babies are darling. Oh, that’s the part you already knew, right? Me, too. That’s the only part I get consistently right.
RACHAEL HERRON received her MFA in writing from Mills College and has been knitting since she was five years old. It’s more than a hobby; it’s a way of life. Rachael lives with her better half in Oakland, California, where they have four cats, three dogs, three spinning wheels, and more musical instruments than they can count. Visit
http://yarnagogo.com
.
http://yarnagogo.com
.
JANET SPAETH: LULLABY
If this is your first child, there is one very important thing you
must
understand before you go one day further.
must
understand before you go one day further.
You are not in charge!
Not anymore. Maybe you once were, but now you are a parent, which means you have given up control of your pride, your sleep, and your sanity. I’m sorry. Someone had to tell you.
My first lesson came when my daughter was a mere four weeks old. My in-laws were going to watch her while my husband and I went to a wedding.
“She’ll go down for a nap around three o’clock,” I told my in-laws. “The tape is already in the player.”
“Tape?” my mother-in-law asked.
Now, tell me this wasn’t brilliant: every day when it was her naptime, I played the tape—it happened to be Pachelbel’s
Canon in D
, with loon calls and bird whistles. (What can I say? This was my first child. I had no idea.) I figured that she’d soon associate the music with naptime, and eventually, all I’d have to do was play the music and she’d nod off happily.
Canon in D
, with loon calls and bird whistles. (What can I say? This was my first child. I had no idea.) I figured that she’d soon associate the music with naptime, and eventually, all I’d have to do was play the music and she’d nod off happily.
My husband and I went to the wedding, and the bride walked down the aisle, slowly, very, very, very slowly, to, yes, Pachelbel’s
Canon in D.
This was the world’s longest aisle, I’ll tell you. By the time the bride reached the altar, my husband’s eyes were closed, and my head was on his shoulder. We woke up before either of us began snoring, but it was close.
Canon in D.
This was the world’s longest aisle, I’ll tell you. By the time the bride reached the altar, my husband’s eyes were closed, and my head was on his shoulder. We woke up before either of us began snoring, but it was close.
To this day, whenever I hear that piece of music, I start to nod off.
My daughter, however—I swear to you that the girl perks up when the song plays.
And what have we learned from this? That parents are trainable, but children are not. Just accept it. And get some sleep. I have just the thing....
JANET SPAETH is a writer and the mother of two children. Be gentle with her. She’s been sleep deprived ever since the tape player broke.
Titles by Barbara Bretton
SPELLS AND STITCHES
SPUN BY SORCERY
LACED WITH MAGIC
CASTING SPELLS
JUST DESSERTS
JUST LIKE HEAVEN
SOMEONE LIKE YOU
CHANCES ARE
GIRLS OF SUMMER
SHORE LIGHTS
A SOFT PLACE TO FALL
AT LAST
THE DAY WE MET
ONCE AROUND
SLEEPING ALONE
MAYBE THIS TIMES
ONE AND ONLY
SPUN BY SORCERY
LACED WITH MAGIC
CASTING SPELLS
JUST DESSERTS
JUST LIKE HEAVEN
SOMEONE LIKE YOU
CHANCES ARE
GIRLS OF SUMMER
SHORE LIGHTS
A SOFT PLACE TO FALL
AT LAST
THE DAY WE MET
ONCE AROUND
SLEEPING ALONE
MAYBE THIS TIMES
ONE AND ONLY
Anthologies
THE CHRISTMAS CAT
(with Julie Beard, Jo Beverly, and Lynn Kurland)
(with Julie Beard, Jo Beverly, and Lynn Kurland)
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