Spiraling (18 page)

Getting out my algebra book, I showed him what we were supposed to be doing for homework. He flipped my notebook to a blank page and wrote down a problem on top. Then he went through the steps to solving the equation. It made sense when he did it, but I was way off on the answer when I tried it myself. He explained where I’d gone wrong, but when I tried the problem again, I still couldn’t get it.

“This makes absolutely no sense,” I said. “I did exactly what you did.”

“Not exactly,” he replied, pointing to the page. “You transposed these two numbers.”

“What?”

“You switched around these two numbers.” He grabbed my notebook. “Let me see something.” He flipped through all the pages of algebra notes, pausing a few times and nodding. “I think I figured out what your problem is. You mix up parts of the equation when you go down to the next line.”

I shook my head. “No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do. Look.”

He showed me where I’d mixed up several equations. They looked right until he pointed out where I’d gotten letters and numbers switched around.

“Are you dyslexic?” he asked.

“Dis-what?” I furrowed my brow.

“Dyslexic. It’s where you see things like letters and numbers backwards.”

I scowled at him. “I don’t see things backwards. I’m not stupid, Carter.”

“Ok. I’m sorry. Let’s just get back to this.”

We went through the next few problems slower. He pointed out when I mixed up numbers without making a big deal about it. I got annoyed that he was being nicer because he thought there was something wrong with me, but the extra help made a big difference. I started getting more of the problems right the first time. We were able to finish all of the problems from that day’s homework and start the extra credit problems Mrs. White had given me before my mom got home at five-thirty.

“What’s going on?” Mom asked when she walked into the kitchen.

“Algebra.” I smiled.

She looked at Carter as she set the mail down on the counter. “Who’s this?”

“My new tutor,” I said.

“Tutor, huh?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Yep.” I nodded.

“Does your tutor have a name?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I answered. “This is Carter.”

“Carter? Is that a first or last name?”

“First,” Carter said.

“Well, Carter, will you be joining us for dinner?” she asked.

“No.” Carter shook his head. “I’ve got to pick up—”

“No, he’s not going to be here.” I talked over him.

Carter looked at me and I shook my head.

“We’re almost done,” I said. “We’re just going to do a few more problems.”

“Okay,” she replied. “I’ll be in my office.”

Carter and I watched as my mom left the kitchen. After she was gone, I quietly explained that my mom despised Devon so it was best not to mention him. Carter agreed and we went back to studying. The last few extra credit problems were harder than the regular homework, so it was slow-going. Carter had to explain what to do a few times before I understood. We were still working on it at six when James got home.

“Why don’t you get off your ass and do something useful?” I heard James grumbling at Chris as soon as he walked in the door.

“Great.” I sighed.

“What’s wrong?” Carter asked.

“My stepdad’s home,” I answered. “Just ignore him.”

I held my head down when James walked into the kitchen, watching him out of the corner of my eye. Carter explained how to get to the next step on the problem we were working on, but it was hard to pay attention with my stepfather in the room.

James didn’t seem to notice us at the table. He set his briefcase down on the counter and picked up the mail. Then he hit the flashing button on the answering machine and listened to the messages as he sorted through the envelopes. When he was done, he walked around the counter to the refrigerator to get a can of soda. As he opened it, he looked at the empty stove.

“Why isn’t dinner started?” he asked without turning around.

I raised my head and looked at him. “I’ve been studying. This is my tutor, Car—”

“Dinner better be on the table in twenty minutes or you’re grounded for another week,” James said. “It’s already after six and I’ve got places to be tonight.”

“Shit.” Carter cursed under his breath. He jumped up and shoved his biology book into his backpack. Then he pulled his coat on, throwing his bag over his shoulder. “I’ll see you later, Tori.” He rushed out of the kitchen.

“See you,” I echoed.

I gathered my books and cleaned them off the table. Then I went over to the pantry to get what I needed for dinner. I didn’t have enough time to make meatloaf, so I grabbed some pasta and a couple cans of tuna. James grumbled at me about changing the menu for a few minutes before he wandered into the other room.

After dinner, I didn’t do any of my chores. Instead, I went straight up to my room and attempted to finish the extra credit problems Carter and I had been working on. It took me a while to figure out the right answers. By the time I was done, it was after eleven and I was completely exhausted. I went to bed sure that James would wake me up early, but I didn’t care.

“Do you want me to pick you up after I get off work tonight?” Devon asked.

“No.” I shook my head. “I’m still grounded.”

“They’re sticking to that, huh?”

“For now.”

“Don’t worry, Baby Doll. It’ll be okay. When life gives you lemons—”

“I know, you make lemonade.” I sighed. “But what happens if you don’t like lemonade?”

He hesitated, cutting another bite off the piece of angel food cake Carter had given him. Then he smiled. “You make cake.”

I giggled. “Really?”

“Why not?” He chuckled. “Everybody likes cake.” He paused. “Well, almost everybody.” He nudged Carter. “Isn’t that right, Carter?”

“What?” Carter looked at us.

“Carter can’t eat cake,” I said.

Jeremiah looked at Carter and furrowed his brow. “You can’t eat cake? I thought you just didn’t like it or something.”

“So, did I,” Devon said, turning to Carter. “You can’t eat cake?”

“No. I’m allergic to it,” Carter answered.

“That’s weird.” Jeremiah chuckled. “You’re like some kind of freak.”

“I’ve never heard of anybody being allergic to cake,” Maimy said.

“Technically, I’m allergic to wheat,” Carter replied. “I’m also allergic to tomatoes, strawberries, pretty much the entire melon group, certain kinds of nuts, shellfish, and kiwi.”

“What the hell is kiwi?” Jake asked.

“It’s a fruit,” Devon answered.

“I’ve never heard of it,” Jeremiah said. “What does it look like?”

“Like a kiwi,” Carter replied.

“Funny.” Jeremiah scowled.

“It’s about the size of an egg and it’s got brown fur stuff on the outside.” I demonstrated the size with my thumb and index finger. “The inside is like this really soft green stuff with tiny black seeds. It doesn’t look like it, but it’s really good. You don’t have to chew it because it melts in your mouth.”

“Melts in your mouth, huh?” Jeremiah smirked. “I know something else that melts in your mouth.”

Devon looked at Jeremiah and jerked slightly.

“Ouch.” Jake pulled his leg up and rubbed his shin.

“Sorry,” Devon said.

“Those boots fucking hurt, Dude,” Jake moaned.

“I was aiming for Jeremiah.” Devon glared at the larger boy.

“I’m just having some fun with her,” Jeremiah said.

“Not like that,” Devon replied.

“Come on, D.” Maimy chuckled. “Loosen up.”

“Yeah, D.” Jeremiah added. “You’re such a tight ass.” Jeremiah put his elbows on the table and leaned over slightly. “So, Princess, do you know how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center?”

“Three,” Carter said off-handedly.

Jeremiah looked at Carter. “How would you know, Carter? Is there something we should know about you two?” He wagged his finger, pointing at Devon and Carter.

Carter squinted. “What?”

“You been licking some lollipops, Car?” Maimy laughed.

Carter wrinkled his nose and shook his head. “That’s sick.”

“You two
are
pretty all up in each other’s shit,” Jeremiah said.

“Nobody’d blame you, Carter.” Maimy smiled. “He
is
pretty.”

Devon sighed. “Thanks. That’s just what I always wanted to be.”

“Oh, you know you’re pretty, D.” Jeremiah chuckled. “Put a dress on and I bet you’d give the beauty queen there a run for her money.”

I couldn’t help giggling. Picturing Devon in a dress was probably the funniest thing I’d ever imagined. When he looked at me, I put my hand to my mouth and tried to stop laughing, but couldn’t.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “It was funny.”

“Oh, I’ll get you back.” He smirked.

“You think so?” I asked.

“I know so.” He leaned closer and whispered, “Just wait until you’re not grounded.”

All he had to do was get close to me and I lost myself. The anticipation of a touch caused my heart to race. I loved how his rough hands felt on my skin. Even the softest cotton couldn’t compare to it.

“Did your mom change her mind about you going out with Devon?” Joy asked as soon as I met her on the sidewalk.

“No.” I shook my head. “Why?”

“Carter Fields’ car has been at your house every day after school for the past few weeks. I thought maybe he let Devon borrow it.”

“Carter’s been coming over.”

“Are you seeing
him
now?” she asked.

“No,” I answered. “He’s just tutoring me.”

“I told you
I’d
help you.”

“That’s okay. I’m fine with Carter.”

She was quiet for a minute before she asked, “Do you think he’d mind if I sat in?”

“You don’t need a tutor,” I said.

“No, but I could study with you guys anyway. I wouldn’t interfere. You wouldn’t even know I was there.”

“Then why would you need to be there?”

“It’s kind of boring doing homework all by myself,” she said. “Please, Tori.”

“All right, Joy.” I sighed. “You can come over and do homework with us.”

“Do homework with who?” Kennedy asked as she joined us.

“Tori and Carter,” Joy answered.

“Carter?” Kennedy looked at me. “As in Carter Fields? Are you going out with
him
now?”

“No.” I exhaled. “He’s just tutoring me.”

“Since when?” she asked.

“Since my mom said I couldn’t see Devon until I get my grades up,” I answered.

“Good luck with that.” She chuckled.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I think I might actually pass the test tomorrow.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” I nodded.

“Maybe I should come over with Joy tonight,” she said. “If Carter can help
you
understand algebra then he must be a miracle worker.”

“Thanks,” I grumbled.

I wasn’t sure how Carter would react to Kennedy and Joy joining us to study, so I didn’t tell him. Instead, I decided to let him find out after he’d already shown up. He wasn’t excited about the surprise.

“Aren’t we supposed to be studying tonight?” he asked when he saw Joy and Kennedy sitting at the table.

“Yep,” I answered. “Kenn needs help with algebra, too, and we thought since you were already going to be here—”

“I told Dev I’d help
you
. Not all your friends.”

“But if you’re already here, what’s the harm?”

“I didn’t sign on to teach algebra to the Barbie Doll Squad. I have better things to do.” He started to go and I chased him into the front room.

“Come on, Car.” I pouted. “I really need your help. Please, please, please. If they get in the way, I’ll tell them to leave. I promise.”

He looked at me and I gave him my best puppy dog face.

“All right.” He sighed.

Carter followed me back into the kitchen. I tried to stay focused as he went through the problems on my algebra homework, but with Kennedy and Joy there, I kept getting distracted. Despite her claims, Kennedy had no real interest in studying. She did a few problems. Then she started talking.

“So, Carter,” she said. “What’s the deal with Devon?”

Carter looked over at her and scowled. “You’ll have to ask him.”

“Come on, you can tell us. We won’t say anything.”

“If you want to know something about him, then you’ll have to ask
him
.”

Kennedy rolled her eyes and looked down at her homework. Carter turned back to the problem I muddled through. I’d already done it twice without getting the right answer and I was doubtful the third time would be a charm.

“I’m never going to get this.” I groaned.

“Just take a breath and think about the next step,” he said.

“And what’s that?” I asked. “Give up?”

“No.” He shook his head. “You can do this. It’s the same stuff we did last night.”

I followed Carter’s advice and took a deep breath. Then I attempted the next step in solving the equation. Carter smiled to reassure me and I kept going through the whole problem. When I’d gotten an answer, I looked at Carter to see if I’d gotten it right. He nodded and I nearly jumped out of my chair with excitement. Then I saw Kennedy staring at us. Putting my head back down, I started on the next problem. The last thing I needed was to give Kennedy more fodder for the gossip cannons.

When my mom got home shortly after five, she wasn’t happy about Kennedy and Joy joining our study group. As soon as everyone had gone, she called me back into the kitchen so she could yell at me.

“You know you’re grounded, Tori,” she said. “Don’t think because I let you have a tutor that you can invite all your friends over.”

“They kind of invited themselves,” I replied.

“Sure, they did.”

“They did.”

“Don’t lie to me, Tori.” She raised her voice. “I know you invited them.”

I shook my head. “No, I didn’t. I don’t know why Joy wanted to come over, but Kenn needed help with her homework. She thought that since Carter was going to be here anyway, he could help her, too. I told them you probably weren’t going to go for it, but we have a test tomorrow and Kenn really needs the help. Besides, I thought I was only grounded from Devon.”

She stared at me as if she were thinking. “You’re grounded from everything until you get your grades up, but I guess it’s all right if Kennedy and JoyAnn come over as long as you’re doing homework. If you girls start using the time for gossip hour—”

“We won’t. Carter’s kind of grouchy about that kind of stuff. He gets all bent out of shape when we talk and says he has better things to do than listen to a bunch of girls whining about other girls.”

Mom smiled and walked to the pantry. “So, is Carter a freshman?” she asked as she retrieved cans of tomatoes and set them on the counter beside the stove.

“I think he’s a junior,” I answered.

“How do you know him?”

“He’s in my biology class.”

“It’s really kind of him to help you study.”

“Yeah.” I nodded.

“He seems like a very smart, nice young man.” She continued in a tone that made me somewhat suspicious of her motives.

“What’s your point, Mom?”

“Just that he’s a very smart, nice young man. It might do you some good to spend more time with a boy like Carter. Admittedly, he isn’t as good-looking as Devon, but I bet you Carter hangs out with a lot nicer group of kids that have their acts together. You could learn a lot from them.”

I had to bite the inside of my cheek to stop from laughing.

“I’m serious, Tori,” Mom said. “Being friends with the smart kids might not be popular, but it will get you a lot farther in life. You shouldn’t waste your time with people that have no future.”

“Like Devon?” I asked.

“I know you don’t want to hear it, but it’s the truth.”

“According to you.”

“I’ve been around the block a few times, Tori. I know what I’m talking about.”

“Well, it’s not going to matter,” I said. “If I get a good enough grade on the test tomorrow, I won’t be grounded anymore. That’s what you said last night.”

“I
did
say that, but that doesn’t mean you get to go out with Devon,” she replied. “James and I discussed it and we don’t think you need to be around that boy anymore. He’s a bad influence.”

“That is so not fair.” I protested loudly. “You said I couldn’t see Devon until I got my grades up. You don’t get to change the rules just because you feel like it.”

“This isn’t up for discussion. If you pass your test, you’ll be off grounding, but you’re still not going anywhere with Devon and he’s not welcome here. Do you understand me?”

I folded my arms across my chest and glared at her in defiance.

“I’m not joking,” she said. “If I find out you’re seeing that boy behind our backs you’ll be grounded for the rest of the year. And that means no TV, no phone, no art supplies, nothing. If you think you’ve got it rough now, just wait.”

“Take away whatever you want,” I retorted. “I don’t care. I’m not breaking up with Devon.” A tear slid down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away with my sleeve. “I love him.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” She scoffed. “You’re only fifteen. You don’t know what
real
love is.”

“Yes, I do. I know exactly what love is and I know I love Devon. When I’m not with him it’s like part of me is missing.”

“You’re being dramatic.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are. Now, go upstairs and finish your homework. I’m done talking about this. You’re not seeing Devon anymore and that’s final.”

I gathered my books from the table before I ran upstairs. Dropping them on my desk, I threw myself across my bed and burst into tears. I hated my mother. She didn’t understand anything. Telling me I couldn’t see Devon was like commanding me not to breathe. She thought that just because I was young I couldn’t possibly understand love, but I knew I loved Devon. He was my entire world. It didn’t matter what my mother said, she wasn’t going to keep me away from him. She couldn’t.