Spirit Horses (21 page)

Right now, he was focused on seeing through his
promise to his son. But maybe, when all this was over, he would take some time
in his life and get involved with a worthwhile cause of some kind. The more he
found out about Tara, the more intriguing she became, and the more he realized
she was an intelligent, strong, selfless woman with much to offer.

Shane’s growing admiration for her left him feeling
a bit uneasy. Adding to his concern was the notion that she also seemed to be
showing more interest in him. Tara still didn’t know about his family, or much
else about him for that matter. The last thing he wanted from her or any of the
Shoshone was for them to feel sorry for him. But most of all he did not want to
lead Tara on. Even while Jen was still alive, he often looked at and
appreciated other women, just like any man does. But, in their many years of
marriage, he never seriously considered crossing that vital line of trust and
commitment. He figured it was normal for a person who had survived a long-time
spouse to struggle with moving past this kind of strong devotion to them. In
one sense, taking this enormous step some day would mean having to let go of
his old life and the powerful loyalties he still carried deep inside. He hoped
in the future he would be able to move beyond all this. For now, it just seemed
too difficult and complicated to even consider.

After all, his plan was only to be out here until he
could set his mare free, then he and Tory would be heading back to Tennessee.
He knew Tara’s life was very busy and full of purpose, so he reasoned that
their attraction toward each other was probably no more than an innocent
flirtation that he was making more of than he should. “Hell, all this is probably
just in my own head anyway,” he said
quietly to himself.

Tara was well aware that the men here on the reservation had all but
given up on pursuing her. Many of the young men in the tribe wondered if she
thought she was too good for them. On the contrary, she was committed to them
in a way they could not comprehend, and because of this, her personal life had
been pushed aside.

It was not a carefree thing for Tara to finally
admit to herself that she did have an attraction to Shane. It embarrassed her
as she realized he was the first man in a long time that could inadvertently
bring out the mild flirtatious side of her personality. She could not ignore
the fact that her mood seemed to be uplifted when she was around him. But she
would listen more to her practical side, which told her that this was someone
who would never fit into her world. Even so, she couldn’t help but admire him
as the brave man who had stood up for her that day in town. Although she
wondered about his guarded past, she believed he was a man of honor and
integrity. She also held him in high regard for his strong commitment to keep a
promise he had made to someone involving setting his mustang free.

It still seemed a little strange that he had
sacrificed so much time and energy to accomplish this. Perhaps, someday, they’d
become close enough friends for him to tell her his secret, along with why, at
times, he seems so lost and faraway in his thoughts. For now, she would respect
his privacy and not ask any personal questions.

The ridge she and her grandfather brought him to see would be inspiring
any time of day. But sitting here watching the sun set gave Shane an almost
spiritual feeling. The two sat quietly mesmerized, watching the bright orange
sky in the west as the day faded away into dusk.

After the sun finally disappeared behind the
mountains, Shane interrupted the silence again by asking Tara a question that
had been on his mind since the first day he met Tigee. “Why does your
grandfather call me,
Tahotay
? He has
called me this several times, and I can’t help but wonder what it means.”

Tara took a deep breath and looked down for a
moment. Then she gave him a quick glance and again shifted her eyes away. Shane
patiently waited for her to reply. Tara inhaled one more hesitant breath before
answering, “Tahotay is a mythical creature that according to our legend has
appeared at different points in our tribe’s history to help our people during
times of crisis. The older generation describes this creature as part human and
part horse. Since the early 1700s, our tribe has been considered a horse
culture. It has always been believed that horses were sent here to help us
survive, and it is our responsibility to care for these animals. Knowing this,
you can understand why such a creature appears in the old stories.”

“Why does your grandfather call me this thing
?
He called me this the first
time he saw me, before he even knew I was good with horses.”

Again, Tara shifted her eyes away, and hesitated
before looking at him, “This is where it may get a little weird to you. For a
few years now, my grandfather has had a recurring dream. He calls it a vision.
In his vision, a
Tahotay,
in human
form, comes to save
our wild
herd of horses, and in the process also helps our people find a better life.

“I know this all sounds pretty far-fetched to you,
but my grandfather is worried about both the future of our people and the
survival of our horses. He believes, as I do, that these horses are a strong
link to our past, and he passionately feels that if we lose our past we lose
who we are as a people. In essence, we lose our very soul as a tribe. If our
past is lost to us, then so is the bond that holds us together. My grandfather
is an old man, and his whole life has been dedicated to preserving these
things. Our herd is a big part of all this. He wants nothing more than to know
they are safe before he dies. For generations, my family has been responsible
for the herd, and now the horses’ future is in question.”

Shane asked, again, “So what does this
Tohotay
have to
do with me?”

Tara looked into Shane’s eyes, “He sees you as the
Tahotay
in his
dreams and believes the mustang mare from our herd has brought you here to
fulfill his vision.”

Shane shook his head. “Tara . . . I can’t even help
myself right now . . . so if the future of your tribe or your horses depends on
me, you’re in big trouble.”

She gave him an understanding look before
continuing, “Sometimes I can see the sorrow in your eyes, and I can tell you
are trying to deal with your own demons. I believe we all have a destiny to
fulfill. I have no way of knowing what yours is, but there must be a reason for
you being here now. There have been times when I have doubted my grandfather
and his old native beliefs, but I have learned from experience that he is
usually right.”

“Well, ma’am, once I set that mare free, I plan on
going home to Tennessee, so, if I were you, I wouldn’t count on me for any more
than that.”

Tara smiled, “I knew telling you about his dreams
would make you feel uncomfortable, that’s why I kept it from you. He’s just an
old Indian with old Indian beliefs. Once you go home, he will realize he was
wrong about you.”

Shane looked at her with his eyes wide open and
nodded his head in agreement. Then, in an attempt to get off the subject, he
turned to gaze at the sensational view.

It was a clear evening and a full moon was slowly
beginning to rise from behind the mountains on the horizon. Its yellow glow was
already shining bright enough to cast hazy shadows from the tall trees that
were all around. “Grandfather should be back soon,” Tara said.

Shane seemed to be deep in thought when he asked,
“As an educated, modern woman, do you hold any stock in your grandfather’s
tribal beliefs?”

“Some I do. It seems the older I get, the less I
doubt him. I think the more you get to know him, the more you will see that he
is a very wise and sensible man. I don’t expect you to accept his ancient
beliefs, but I can tell you, if you keep your mind open to him, you could learn
a lot.”
   
         

“When I first met your grandfather, you told me he
believed that when one of your tribe dies, the wild horses will carry their
spirits on to the next life. Do you believe this?”

Tara smiled. “This traditional ideology suggests
that our mustangs are able to carry our souls to the threshold, where the ones
who have gone on before will be waiting to greet us. Whenever I consider this,
it always gives me peace of mind. This makes me want to think it is true. So, I
guess, in a way, I do believe.”

Shane nodded. “Well, it sure is a nice idea anyway.”

Just then, Tigee walked up through the moonlit
shadows. Shane didn’t hear or see the old man until he was standing by his
side.

Tigee grinned at the startled look on Shane’s face.
“I’m ready to go now.”

When they arrived at Fort Washakie, the party was well under way. It
was centered in a large courtyard in front of the cultural center and museum.
There were at least a thousand people meandering around and a live band played
loudly in the middle of the festivities. Several cooks were working over large
spits cooking beef, venison, and chicken along with a variety of side dishes.
Tara said, “These are the same facilities we use to put on powwows and
gatherings for the tourists, but tonight it will just be the locals.

Shane made his way up to one of the several kegs of
beer and drew himself a cold brew, then sat at a table, alone.

Many of the people were coming up to Tigee to wish
him happy birthday. Tara walked over to a group of four Indian women about her
age.

A girl named Lisa asked, “Who’s the white guy you
brought along? Is he with you?”

“He’s with my grandfather and me.”

“Oh, so it’s not like you finally got a date or
anything,” another girl joked.

Tara laughed, “No, he’s just a guy who’s staying at
the ranch for a while.”

Lisa boldly pronounced, “Well, then I think I’ll go
over and introduce myself.” With that said, she and two of the others walked
toward Shane’s table.

Tara and her other friend rolled their eyes and
ambled over to the band.

The three girls were in their late twenties and were
all reasonably attractive. Shane was a little taken back when the women sat
next to him. They had all been at the party a while, and after a few beers were
in a friendly mood.

“Hey, mister, we saw you come in with Tara, so we
decided to introduce ourselves. I’m Lisa, this is Terri, she’s Faith.”

“My name is Shane. Nice to meet you ladies.”

“You don’t mind if we sit, do you?” Lisa asked.

“No, not at all, make yourselves comfortable.” The
girls were all good company, and he enjoyed talking with them. Before he knew
it, they were on their third round of beers, and they began telling bad jokes
and laughing loudly. Hawk came by to sit for a while but soon moved on.

It was about eight o’clock when the dinner bell
rang, and everyone made their way up to the three chow lines.

Tara caught up with Shane in line. “My grandfather
asked if you would join him to eat.”

“Sure, I’d like that.”

Then Tara laughed and said,
“That is if you can tear yourself away from that group of women you’re hanging
out with. You might want to watch out for Lisa, she can be pretty aggressive if
she likes a man.”

“Oh no, I was just making conversation. I’m not
looking for anything beyond that.”

Tara kidded Shane, “You do like girls, don’t you?”

“Yeah, it’s just a bad time for me right now.” Tara
could tell the conversation was changing from joking around by the more serious
tone in Shane’s voice, so she left it alone and changed the subject.

“Are you hungry?” she asked.

“Yes, I’m starving.” The two loaded their plates,
then went over to join Tigee.

After dinner, Lisa kept coming over and asking Shane
to dance. He finally gave in. She was pretty drunk by now and started to hang
all over him. As soon as he had the chance, he asked Tara to save him by
dancing the next dance with him. Tara laughingly agreed, then endured a
sneering look from Lisa.

The next song the band played just happened to be a
slow one, so Shane was glad he had Tara running interference. The dance started
off in good humor, but as they moved close enough to feel each other’s
heartbeat this all began to change. The subtle attraction they had been
experiencing up to now was suddenly becoming stronger and more difficult to ignore.
“It’s a nice evening, isn’t it?” Shane said in an attempt to keep things
low-key. Both of them felt the building passion, but neither was willing to
acknowledge it. Each had his own reasons for this, and they were good ones at
that. As the song began to wind down, Shane breathed in the aroma of her
perfume one last time, then they slowly separated.