Stabled (The Stables Trilogy #1) (14 page)

Chapter Eighteen

Maple had finished mucking all of the stalls but Bane’s. She was waiting for Raúl to come and help her with his.

She was numb.

The work felt good. Natural now. The horses were her closest friends, the only beings that didn’t watch her with distrustful eyes. Everyone had heard she’d been fired. They had to know she’d gone into the stable. Now she was still there, and no one was comfortable around her.

It hurt more than she’d anticipated.

Inside Bonnie’s stall, she was taking her time grooming her favorite old horse. The bristles brushed through the greying hide, loosening and freeing the hair that had fallen out. The rough patches of matted hair smoothed out under Maple’s gentle touch. Bonnie’s sides rose and fell as she breathed in a slow, contented way.

“At least I have you,” Maple murmured. She finished up and grabbed a comb, beginning to undo the knots in the coarse mane. It was the best distraction. Bonnie let her work in silence. Horses were easier than humans. You treated them kindly, fairly, and they responded in kind. Their gentle spirits helped ease discontent of the heart.

Bonnie most of all. Maple was connected to her now, and thankful for the company.

“Let’s do this,” Raúl’s voice echoed through the barn. It had lost its easy, friendly tone. Whereas before they’d worked together well, even after the incident with him in the hay, now he felt like a stranger.

Maple set down the comb and kissed Bonnie’s nose.

“Okay.” She came out of the stall and started getting the wheelbarrow and tools she’d need to muck Bane’s stall quickly. Raúl was already getting the lasso ready, avoiding looking at her. He was about to rope the thunderous black stallion when Maple stopped him. “Wait.”

“What?” It was petulant, spat at her in anger.

Her body ached. Her mind was a black pit she needed out of. Maple just needed a break. She sank to the floor, drawing her knees to her chest.

“What are you doing? Let’s just get this shit done.” He meant to be mean, but Raúl just sounded childish. Hurt, even.

“I’m sorry,” she said, hugging her arms around her knees. “I screwed up. You’ve been nothing but sweet to me, and I ruined it.”

The rope was still in his hands. It shook a little. Finally, he threw it to the floor and came to sit next to her. “No, you didn’t ruin it. Not really,” he sighed. “But Belleza, this is my life. And you threatened it when you threatened J.B. It’s hard for me to forgive that.”

“What do you mean?”

“Since you’re already keeping J.B.’s secret for now, I guess one more won’t hurt. Mariela and I, we aren’t exactly here legally.”

Her brow pressed together. “Wait, what?”

He shrugged. “Our parents were bringing us over the border. They’d found a man willing to drive us in his jeep. We were crossing off-road. It was dangerous, the jeep was old. It lost control. It rolled. My parents died. The driver died. Mariela and I… we lived.”

Maple’s own self pity was shoved aside. She’d had no idea. “I’m so sorry, Raúl.” It was all she could think to say.

“It’s okay. I was young, I don’t really remember it. Or them. It was harder on Mariela. She was almost ten. But we were lucky, really. Because the wreck happened on the ranch. J.B.’s father found us and let us live with him. J.B. helped us while he studied to take over the ranch. He let us stay when his dad passed away. He pays us fairly, he treats us well, and he protects us.”

“And in exchange you help him. With… with the other stable.”

“No. No one helps him there. That stable holds his own demons, Belleza. He doesn’t put that on us. But we keep his secret, and he keeps ours. If you had called the police-- well, people around here tend to deport first and ask questions later.”

So many secrets. And she’d almost hurt them all, including herself, when she’d threatened J.B.. No wonder he’d been so upset with her.

“I wasn’t going to call. Not really.”

“Yeah, right.”

“No. Apparently everyone here has secrets. I’ve got one, too. I’m…” was she really going to trust him with this? She shouldn’t. Every part of her was screaming to shut up, to stop before it was too late. Well, almost every part. Because there was a small sliver of herself that needed a friend. One of a non-equine variety. Someone in her corner. Raúl was the safest bet. Besides, he’d shared his secret with her.

It needed to be a half-truth. No one but Bonnie could know the full truth.

“I’m hiding from the police, too. I did something, Raúl, when I was at Tulane. Something bad. I don’t know if I regret it or not. I just know that I can’t ever undo it. So I won’t call the police. I really want to stay here.”

“That sounds super sketchy, Maple.” He was teasing, but there was relief threaded through his voice. “Was it about a guy?”

“Yeah. It was a bad relationship.”

“Did he hurt you?” She sensed that Raúl was getting worked up. Ready to climb on a white horse and be her knight or something.

“Sure, but for the most part, I asked him to.” She looked at her feet. The flecks of dirt on her boots were standard issue now. The leather was filthy and broken in.

“No one deserves to be hurt, Belleza.”

Her hand reached out to pat his shoulder. “Some people do.”

“Are you okay now?”

Was she? Maple didn’t think so. She shook her head, and he didn’t press her. Around them the stable was a capsule. Somehow, amidst the hay and soft snorts and manure, time seemed to slow inside. Hearts seemed more open, vulnerable. Secrets felt fluid, like an egg in your hand threatening to slip through the cracks between fingers.

“Let’s get Bane’s stall mucked, okay?” Raúl started to stand.

She wasn’t ready, not yet. Not when the connection had been renewed between Raúl and her. “Why does he do it? Did his father?”

Raúl sighed heavily, slumping back down. “I’m not going to be his voice, Belleza. I owe J.B. too much. You’re like a dog with a bone when it comes to him. If you aren’t careful, you’re going to bite off something too sharp to swallow.”

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry.”

They got up and set to work. Bane was coming out more willingly. Maple had never forgotten the fear in Raúl’s eyes. The sheer, raw panic and hate that Bane left in J.B.. But the horse hadn’t forgotten her, either. So while she couldn’t let him free the way she knew he should be, he behaved better for her nonetheless.

She even snuck a light pat on his flank as she brushed by into his stall.

When they were finished, it was dinner time. Maple’s stomach was grumbling. Dinners had been awkward, with no one speaking while she was in the room. She’d been picking at her food for days, darting out before she was full because she couldn’t bear the atmosphere in Mariela’s kitchen.

But Raúl walked with her, and it bolstered her.

Just before they reached the house, he grabbed her wrist and stopped her. Maple grew scared again, for a different reason. What if Raúl thought this new olive branch was an invitation to renew his interest?

“Don’t fall in love with him, Belleza.”

Not what she was expecting.

Raúl wasn’t finished, though. “I said I wouldn’t speak for him, and that’s true. But if you’re here, really here for good, you deserve some more. You trusted me with your secret, too. J.B.’s business isn’t for pleasure. It’s the way he copes.”

“Copes?”

“With Rachel’s death.”

Rachel
. No one had spoken her name before, but Maple knew her. The dead wife. J.B.’s dead wife. Having a name made Rachel more real.

“How does--”

He stopped her. “For God’s sake! He’s letting you stay after everything. Can you just give him some privacy? He won’t fall in love with you, Maple!”

It hurt like a slap in the face. It
was
that obvious, wasn’t it? Not only did she scare everyone, shaking up their lives and risking their jobs-- but now she knew they saw the sick, devoted puppy she was.

“I know,” she said, resentful. She shouldn’t, but she lashed out. “But that doesn’t change how I feel about him.”

Raúl rubbed his face. “Yeah, I know that now.”

She wouldn’t drop it. “So I can’t be with you, either. Besides, he’s forbidden it.”

“Oh, I know.” His words were bitter. “J.B. filled me in on that new policy. ‘Dating is forbidden between employees of Deyton Ranch,’ or some shit like that.”

It startled her that J.B. had gone so far as to warn Raúl, too. “I guess it’s for the best,” she said, not believing a word of it. J.B. was always present in her thoughts, even now.
Never touch me again
.

“Yeah. Middle of nowhere. The only girl who isn’t related to me. J.B.’s determined we’re all as lonely and miserable as he is.” Raúl stalked away, not willing to talk about could’ves, should’ves, and would’ves.

Maple followed.

If Raúl was right, then J.B. had succeeded. She was miserable.

And even after finding forgiveness in Raúl, she was desperately lonely.

Chapter Nineteen

The hot water sluiced down her skin, steadily streaming between her breasts and trailing from her fingers.

Dinner had been good for the first time since she’d discovered the human stable. It had started rough, Mariela handing her the plate of food silently. It was a green stew, filled with succulent pork and a spicy tomatillo sauce. Fragrant cinnamon and cumin were hinted in the steam. It smothered a scoop of white rice. Filling, decadent. Comfort food.

When Raúl sat with Maple, his sister had scowled. She’d hissed at him in Spanish. They bickered, and Maple’s appetite had threatened to turn to nausea. Just as she’d decided to exit, leaving her food untouched, the siblings had come to an agreement.

“Eat up,” Mariela had said grudgingly. “You’ve been getting too skinny again. I thought my food must not be so good if such a skinny girl is leaving so much on her plate every night.
 

Maple had tried a burning, delicious spoonful. The tartness from the tomatillos melded with the spicy kick of peppers and the buttery pork. Her stomach had growled loud enough to crack Raúl up. “No, no, Mariela! You’re food is incredible.” Maple swallowed and shoved another bite in. “I  should say sorry.”

“No need,” Mariela stopped her. “It’s done. Do you want bread?”

Maple had nodded, and they ate together, chatting and falling into old comfort.

Now she was showering. The renewed friendships with Raúl and Mariela were good, and she was thankful for them. But Maple was discovering how much she’d been relying on the sheer, massive depression and loneliness to stave off her desires.

The ease on her heart opened her to think about things better left locked away.

The soap turned over and over in her hands, sliding and slicking her palms with bubbles. Her hands began to travel over her body as she thought about the stable. About the women.

Maple wondered what it would be like to be trained as a pony. To be trained by J.B.. She pictured him standing in jeans and nothing else, riding crop in hand. In her mind, she stood before him, naked. Her chest was out. Around her neck was a collar. Between her teeth, a bit pressed her tongue down. Around her face was a bridle.

Deep in her ass was the plug, a luxurious tail hanging between her legs. She wanted to be beautiful for him. She wanted to prance for him. She wanted to hear him cluck and command her, driving her to perfection.

Maple wanted the sting of the crop and J.B.’s harsh demands.

Her fingers found her cleft in the shower, soaping between her legs.

She wished she knew more of what he did. He hadn’t said yes, entirely, to her helping him train the women. Maple wasn’t sure she wanted to help. But it meant being near him, even if she could never touch him. It meant seeing him do the things she longed for him to do to her.

Her clit began to swell from her expert touch. Arousal began to seep and coat her, mixing with the soap. Slick and sensitive. Exploring her folds, Maple shut her eyes.

It was the beginning of the cycle. She knew it too well, but she couldn’t stop touching herself. Couldn’t keep the thoughts of J.B. at bay.

Lust stuck to her skin like droplets. She dipped her fingers inside, stroking her silken channel.

She’d picture him hurting her. Remember the hard feel of his cock inside of her. Try to recapture the feelings of his hand in her hair, yanking painfully.

Maple would fantasize. She’d come. And she’d need more.

Having tasted him once, she could only pray that these stolen moments in her shower and her bedroom would be enough.

It never would.

A knock interrupted her fingers’ frantic work. Stumbling from the shower, she wrapped a towel around herself.

Maple rushed to the door, almost slipping, leaving puddled footsteps across the floor. Tightening her grip on the cotton towel, she opened her door a fraction and poked her head out.

He stood there in all his dark, sinful glory. Tight worker’s jeans. Dirt-covered shirt, with two buttons undone at the top, hinting at the strong chest she knew lay beneath.

“What the hell are you doing?” His blue and green eyes swept down at her wet hair, hanging and dripping, to the hints of towel and skin she couldn’t hide completely behind the door.

“Um, getting ready for bed?”

He grinned. “Back to makin’ questions out  of statements, Maple?”

Her pulse fluttered. “I guess so?”

A shadow flitted across his gaze. “Get dressed,” he ordered.

“Why?”

“You aren’t done working yet. Meet me in the stable.”

“Which one?”

His eyes narrowed. “You know which one.”

He was gone before she recovered, leaving her standing holding a sodden towel and soaking the floor.