Stand By Your Hitman (11 page)

Lex leaned back, staring into the inky sky. “Fiona and I never had children. We just kept putting it off for later.”

I leaned against him. For once, my overwhelming motherhood seemed like a blessing.

“I bet you would’ve been a great dad.”

I could feel him smile. “Thanks. I needed that.”

“What, the nookie or the compliment?” I asked.

He smiled again and kissed my forehead. “Both. Definitely both.”

Out of the corner of my eye I spotted one of the bedroom lights going on. Lex and I scrambled to our feet, kissed briefly then went off to our separate rooms.

Sami snored as I drifted off, thinking about sex, Lex and the fact that they rhymed.

The drill worked like a charm. Everyone got up at six, put their old clothes on, wolfed down breakfast and scrambled toward the beach to their campsites before Julie or the camera crew would arrive. Lex and I grinned goofily at each other the whole time. I felt like there was a balloon in my chest, swelling with helium. It was a very good feeling.

“When do you think they’ll merge us?” Silas asked me as we followed Julie to another challenge.

I was a bit shocked. Silas had never asked me anything.

“I thought you were mad at me.”

His right eyebrow went up. “Why would you think that?”

“Because of the”—I looked around to make sure Julie couldn’t hear—“guesthouse. Not very authentic.”

Silas nodded. “Yeah. I was mad at first. But this durned show is lame. I don’t really care about that anymore.”

Wow. That was bizarre. Silas actually appeared to be three-dimensional. Maybe it was a good omen.

Howler monkeys screeched as we entered a clearing full of equipment. It was kind of like they were our heralds—you know, like when the king enters the ballroom?

“Today’s challenge is for reward. Tonight, both teams will go to Tribal Council and you will both vote off one member.” Alan intoned.

Oh shit. We were losing two this time? The budget must be dwindling faster than I thought. I looked over at Isaac. He winked and I returned it. With all that was happening, we were becoming close. Hell, he was in my alliance with Lex and Sami. And worse yet, I liked him. My gut was telling me he was a great guy. But my head countered with the fact that despite what Sami thought, Isaac knew how to play a person like a poker hand. Either way, I was definitely running out of time on this job.

“We will put you in teams of two. Each team has to figure out a puzzle. The first team to solve the puzzle gets reward.” Alan grinned. “Want to know what you’re playing for?”

Nobody nodded or said anything. It was obvious to everyone that the rewards were lame when we had a sweet guesthouse waiting for us back at the Blanco Tigre.

Our host frowned. “The winning team will go marlin fishing this afternoon.”

Open-ocean fishing? That was a reward? Who were
these people? I didn’t think even Silas would enjoy sweating in a rickety boat in choppy water to catch a huge fish.

“And Missi, you’ll be with Kit. That’s it, take your places!” Julie whined. I realized I hadn’t been paying attention again.

Each team stood in front of a table. They had blended the tribes, and I noticed that Lex was paired with Moe, Liliana with Sami, Isaac with Brick, and Silas was with Dr. Andy. Lex sketched me a wave and I goofily waved back—looking like a complete idiot.

“You may begin,” Alan, the real complete idiot, said.

Kit’s lower lip trembled. And we weren’t even at Tribal Council yet. Two long poles, pointed on one end each, were lying on the ground. A thick, blue piece of rope was draped over the table, labeled “1.” Next to it was a green and yellow piece of rope labeled “2,” and next to that was a red rope labeled “3.” I half-expected to see a bottle that said drink me, and would’ve given a kidney to see a cake labeled eat me, but that just wasn’t the case.

Sorry! Where was I? Oh yes. Kit filled me in (because I hadn’t been paying attention—remember?) that somehow, we were supposed to figure out how to use the poles and rope to solve the puzzle.

I was completely lost. Looking around, the other teams had no idea what to do either.

“No one knows what to do….” Alan spoke his commentary for the cameras.

Lex tried coiling the ropes around one of the poles
to see if a pattern emerged. Nothing. Liliana tried to tie knots in the various ropes and Silas was, I guess, measuring it using the length of his arms.

“Ten minutes in, and no one has got it right,” Alan continued.

I seriously thought about impaling him on the end of one of our poles. That would have been fun. Did you know the Bombays were indirect relatives of Vlad the Impaler? According to family lore, he was a real prick—but very good at killing people.

“Dammit, Lil!” Sami cursed her partner. “Now we have to untie all those fucking knots!”

Big tears began to roll down Kit’s perfect cheekbones. A crying model. Lucky me.

“Don’t cry,” I started, patting her clumsily on the back. “No one else knows what to do either.”

Of course, I was right. Frustration was running very high on this challenge. For once, the show was doing something tough.

“Twenty minutes and no clue among the players.” Alan was really getting on my nerves. In fact, everything was getting on my nerves. I was so stressed, I—

That’s when it hit me.

“Kit, grab your pole and hold it at an angle.”

The other teams weren’t paying attention, but I had an idea. Carefully, I made a slipknot out of the blue rope and slid it over the end of the pole. Then I put ten loops on the pole, took the other pole and pushed the pointy end through the first stitch, front to back, wrapped the rope around it and pulled it backwards
through the loop, pushing the one on Kit’s pole off. I now had a loop on my pole.

“You’re knitting?” Kit asked, sucking in a deep breath.

“I think so.” I didn’t say anything as I finished off the first row. Damn, this was hard. The poles were huge and hard to control. It took my whole body to make each stitch. I was really, really hoping I wouldn’t have to purl the next row.

“Missi, figuring it out…” Alan seemed happy that someone was. I wondered how the other teams were going to manage if they didn’t know how to knit. It hardly seemed fair, and I wasn’t that excited about marlin fishing, but I wanted to see if it worked.

The other teams paid attention, but unless you knew how to knit, you were screwed. It appeared that I was the only one. So, they all sat down and watched me struggle with my giant needles. Great. Apparently they didn’t want to go marlin fishing either. And since both tribes were voting someone off, I guess they all figured they really had nothing to lose.

After two more rows, we’d used up the blue yarn and started in with the green and yellow. Immediately I could see a pattern starting to emerge. I thought about giving up, but now everyone was staring at me, so I couldn’t.

It took me all the way to the color variations in the red rope before I realized I was knitting letters. Kit did nothing but stand there, but that was okay. I was completely exhausted as I knitted the last row.

“Missi and Kit win the challenge!” Alan shouted.

Yay us. I looked at the swatch of knitting. It was pretty good work, if I do say so myself.

“Op?” I asked. “What does that mean?”

“Open! It’s supposed to say ‘open!’” Alan was turning an interesting shade of red.

Julie started rooting around the other teams’ rope. “It should say that. I wonder if we got the rope mixed up?”

“Well, it doesn’t matter because now they know the clue.”

I turned to Alan. “The clue to what?” This game was really pissing me off. I looked at our camera crew. They all three shrugged simultaneously. That looked pretty cool.

“The clue to the hidden immunity idol!” Alan sputtered as if I were four years old.

“Why didn’t you just tell us that?” I asked.

“I did!”

Kit and I looked at each other, then at Julie.

“Um, sorry, Alan,” she said very quietly, “but you must’ve forgotten.”

The host threw up his arms, negating whatever sense we had of his being in charge, and stormed off.

“Okay,” Julie stammered, “I…I…guess I’ll finish up then. Missi and Kit, for a twist, you get to pick another team to accompany you on the fishing trip.” Her voice grew louder as she realized the boys were taping her. “The rest of you can go back to camp.”

“We want Lex and Moe!” Kit shouted to my complete and utter surprise. Could she read minds? I was
going to pick them anyway, but she didn’t even ask me. I didn’t know whether to be angry or grateful.

Lex and Moe joined us as the rest of the two tribes tried to hide their glee about going back to camp. If I’d had to hazard a guess, I’d have reckoned that the camp wasn’t where they’d end up.

“Just couldn’t stand the thought of doing this without me?” Lex asked with a smile that now had the power to turn my knees into jelly.

To my complete shock, Kit slipped her arm through his, batting her eyelashes. “No! We couldn’t.”

Oh shit.

“Oh my God!” Kit giggled, snuggling up to MY boyfriend. “You are sooooo funny!”

I sat there, simmering in the heat, hoping my next cast would accidentally toss her into what I hoped were shark-infested waters.

Lex looked pained as he pulled away for the one millionth time. There was absolutely no privacy on this boat. And for some reason we’d silently made a pact not to mention our budding romance. Now I regretted opening up the beach house to Inuit. Somehow, we’d have to get Kit voted off tonight.

“Hey! I caught something!” Moe shouted.

It was kind of a miracle, because we’d spent three hours already, getting a nasty sunburn and nothing so much as a nibble. My hopes soared, imagining he’d caught a shark I could feed Kit to…slowly.

“You know,” Kit said, “these shows really like it if two of the contestants hook up. It makes for a really good drama.”

That’s when I finally noticed how beautiful Kit
was. Long, brown hair, blue eyes, long legs. Why hadn’t I noticed that before?

“Really?” Lex asked, his eyes boring into mine.

“Oh man! It’s huge!” Moe screamed.

“Oh yes.” Kit slid her arm through his for the seventeenth time since the challenge. I know, because I’d been counting. When she got to twenty, I was throwing her overboard—accidentally rendering her unconscious before she hit the water.

“Hey guys! Help me out here!” Moe begged. Rollo, our boat’s captain, stepped forward.

“In fact, it makes for really good ratings.” Kit tried to look thoughtful. “Did you know I’m a model?”

I ground my teeth and pictured killing her.

“I heard that.” Lex looked clearly uncomfortable but had no way out of the situation. I was trying to figure out if Kit’s interest was real or whether she was trying to form an alliance. I had no proof but was pretty sure the alliance she was trying to start with Lex had nothing to do with the game.

Don’t get me wrong. I’d liked her initially. Even felt sorry for her. But right now, that bitch was coming on to the first man I’d had sex with in…well, in more than a decade.

“Here it comes!” Moe yelled as he and Rollo landed a huge fish. It flopped violently all over the deck. There wasn’t a lot of room for us to begin with.

Kit let out the fakest scream I ever heard and leaped
into Lex’s arms. Poor bastard. He’d had no choice other than to catch her.

“Wow!” Moe stared at the fish and I started to feel a little sorry for him. We should have been happy for him. This may have been the most successful thing he’d ever done.

Lex kept trying to put Kit down but she scrambled to hang on, feigning fear.

“Good fish.” Rollo slapped Moe on the back.

“Thank God you were here to save me!” Kit cooed to Lex.

I turned my attentions to Moe. It was either that or punch her in the throat—and she wasn’t my Vic. The Bombays kind of frown on making hits without Council approval.

“That’s really cool, Moe.” I smiled at him.

He looked so happy. “Thanks, Missi! I’m so glad you invited me!”

“Well, I didn’t, but I would’ve, had Kit not said it first.”

Moe grinned. Hmmm. Maybe I could influence him to get his tribe to vote off Kit tonight. I turned to Rollo.

“Do you have a camera so he could have a picture with the fish?”

Rollo nodded and pulled a digital camera out of his cargo pocket. I helped Moe hoist the now-dead fish up in the air. It was almost as long as me.

“I’ll e-mail it to the show,” Rollo said, after snapping the shot.

Lex managed to escape the Kit-octopus to help the captain put the fish belowdecks. Kit followed them, going on and on about Lex’s muscles. Yeesh.

The truth was he had very nice definition. Lex was a fine example of a man. This was good for me (who doesn’t want a smoking-hot lover?), but bad for me in that the idiot Kit had also noticed him.

“Do you guys know who you’re voting off tonight?” Okay, so I’m not subtle. I only had a few minutes to influence Moe.

He frowned, shaking his head. “I have no idea. Do you?”

I feigned innocence. “Me? No! I don’t even know who I’d vote off in Ottawa.”

Moe looked toward the hatch. “Frankly, I’d like to get rid of Kit. She cries all the time. I just want to smack her.”

I laughed. “Yeah, I guess that would get annoying.”

He nodded. “She and Liliana really hate each other. Kit’s easy on the eyes, but does nothing around camp. Brick and Andy are okay.”

I only had a few minutes to work my magic. “I’m pretty sure after this vote we’ll be merged. If Kit’s bothering you, you should convince the others to get rid of her tonight.”

“Well,” Moe said slowly, “I could do that. But only if you’ll let me into your alliance.”

“Alliance? What alliance?” Did I mention I’m not a good liar?

“With Lex and Sami. I think Isaac’s in, too.” Okay, so Moe wasn’t as dumb as he looked.

A high-pitched giggle came from the hatch. I offered Moe my hand.

“You’ve got a deal.”