Stand-In Wife (13 page)

Viv lifted her face.

“W
HAT THE HELL ARE YOU
playing at?” Dan demanded as Viv dragged him down the side of the chapel.

Conscious they could be interrupted any minute, she
gave him the abridged version. “All you have to do is pretend I’m Merry.”

“And Mere actually agreed to all this?”

Viv hesitated. “You can’t hold her accountable for her actions right now. She’s been so devastated by Charlie’s dating Susan. And she’s feverish, unwell.”

“So that’s a yes,” her brother said drily.

“This is my fault, Dan. You know I can talk her into anything.”

He looked at her with exasperated affection. “Jeez, Viv…I thought you’d grown out of this stuff.”

“So did I.” She gave a short laugh. “Coming home always throws me into regressive mode.”

“Is that why you rarely visit?”

“Listen, I suspect Merry’s underplaying this blood-infection thing,” Viv said, ignoring him, “so she can still be transferred to Auckland tomorrow.”

“I’ll visit on the way home to Beacon Bay, then phone with a full report.” The deviation would add an extra hour to his two-and-a-half-hour drive but was at least in the same direction. “So how is the switch back supposed to work?”

“Merry’s going to sell it to Charlie as a simpler bone break to explain a minimum time in hospital. Once the swelling goes down, they’ll put a closed cast on anyway. By the time Charlie returns from his three-day conference, she’ll be home and I’ll be gone. She intended asking Dad to come stay for a week. We didn’t factor in lambing season.”

“I’ll hire extra help.” He put a hand on her shoulder. “You do know that at some point Merry has to tell Charlie the truth, don’t you?”

“How can she?” Viv asked. “We haven’t just burned bridges, Dan. We’ve blown them up behind us.”

He shook his head. “However scared Merry is of making
things worse, if she’s still chasing reconciliation with Charlie she has no choice. Without honesty, they’ve got nothing. No trust.”

“You’re wrong, Dan. This way no one gets hurt. And, anyway,” she added when her brother shook his head, “it’s nearly over. Merry will be home tomorrow and Charlie none the wiser. After that, it’s up to them.”

“You know you could have called me about this, Viv. I am on your side.”

She’d hurt him. “I know.” Lightly, Viv knuckled his cheek. “Why didn’t you tell anyone you were coming today? You nearly gave us all away.”

“All?” His gaze sharpened. “Wait a minute, Ross is in on this?”

“Yes,” said Ross calmly from behind them. “
Meredith,
the choir’s waiting for its conductor. Dan, you’re in charge of the baby.”

Charlie came around the corner carrying Harry. “What’s the problem? Pastor Fred’s hunting for you, Meredith. Ross, we ready?”

“Yeah, mate.” As Charlie hurried away, Ross looked at Dan through hostile eyes. “Whose side are you taking this time, Shep?”

Startled, Viv looked between the two men. Something was happening here. It wasn’t good.

Her brother’s jaw tightened. “Yours,” he said, “same as always.”

Ross snorted and the three followed Charlie.

For once Viv didn’t ask. She could hear the strains of the organ and was resisting the urge to run.

T
HE CHAPEL COULD HOLD OVER
one hundred and fifty mourners but today only half that number filed in. From her position in front of the choir to the left of the altar, Viv decided
it was still seventy-five too many. Nervously, she watched people take their seats, their first glance going to the mahogany coffin, bedecked with Tilly’s mismatched wreath of pink, orange and red blooms.

Charlie sat in the front row, flanked by Tilly and Ross. Tilly sat with hands piously pressed together, a hymnbook open in her lap and her attention a million miles away. Linda’s death hadn’t really hit home for him yet. Maybe it never would. Beside Ross, Dan sat with Harry on his knee. Their nephew had already commandeered his cell. The tension between Dan and Ross was palpable.

Sunlight blazed through the large plate window behind the altar, momentarily blinding Viv as she faced the choir. Fifteen choristers looked back expectantly, ten short of the normal choir, but a wonderful turnout, Pastor Fred had enthused, considering the short notice. In their white robes, they could be the twelve apostles waiting for her to lead them to the promised land. No, that was Moses—

Pastor Fred coughed. “When you’re ready, Meredith.” Heart beating a tattoo against her ribs, Viv nodded to the organist and lifted leaden arms and was amazed when they drew out the first soaring notes of “Amazing Grace.”

By the third line she knew the pace was off, the choir galloping ahead of the organist. “I-once-was-lost-but-now-am-found-Was-blind-but-now-I-seeeee.” Over O-shaped mouths, their eyes wide, they looked to her for direction. Viv started to sweat. She was hitting all the right beats with her hands, taking an exaggerated breath on the beat before any new part started. Of course, they’d matched their breathing to hers as she mimed the words. She dragged her panicked breathing back to normal and they hit the right tempo.

The second verse passed without mishap and some of the awful tension went out of her shoulders. After the third,
euphoria started to build. “Through many dangers, toils and snares, I have already coooome…” Yee-ha, she was doing this!

The sound swelled and thundered off the walls, the choristers faces red with effort. “’Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far….” her exuberant gestures were encouraging crescendo—abruptly Viv reined in her gestures and the voices faded to a soulful poignancy “…And Grace will lead me…” she closed her eyes, her left hand drawing out the last note “…hooooomme.”

Flip the pancake. Palm down. Stop. In the silence, Viv bowed her head.
Thank you, God.

“H
OW’S
D
AD REALLY COPING
since Mum left?” Viv asked. “He doesn’t give much away when I phone.” She and Dan had finally managed to snatch a couple of minutes alone in Meredith’s kitchen while she waited for the rented urn to boil for a second round of tea and coffee. Dan was leaving early so he could spend an hour with Meredith.

“Dad’s still shell-shocked,” Dan said.

Herman should have been launching his retirement on a three-month tour of South America and Europe with their mother. Instead they’d separated on the eve of Dan’s wedding and Pat had gone with girlfriends. Viv was torn between supporting her mother and disapproval that she’d abandoned Dad.

“Jo and I made him move back to the farm…he needs company right now.” Their parents had a town house in Beacon Bay while Dan had taken over the farmhouse—and the farm—a couple of months ago.

“You’re a good son.” Viv hugged him. When she and Merry were little Dan had been the shoe-buckle fastener, the bug catcher, the protector. This guy was to blame for her fix-it complex. He made it look so easy.

“And what about
you?
”

Her brother had been restless the whole time he’d been here. Twice Viv had seen him approach Ross, and twice seen Ross turn to talk to someone else. She stepped back to inspect him properly. Sun-streaked hair, gold-tipped eyelashes and a killer tan hinted at his new all-weather profession of farmer. Made the former lady-killer even more rugged and gorgeous. “How’s married life?”

His swift grin held a pervasive joy that caught her by surprise. Jo had been his lifelong friend and she’d assumed their match had been based on pragmatism rather than passion. Like Viv, her brother was a love atheist, now his expression held a born-again fervor that was a little unsettling.

“Yeah.” His grin grew sheepish. “It amazes me, too. I hope you’ll have time to come stay before you return to New York?”

“Three weeks…if I get the job I’m waiting to hear about.” Actually she should have heard two days ago, but Viv was still hopeful. “Otherwise I’ll be forced to go home early and campaign for business.” The urn boiled and she poured water into the giant teapot, laid out clean cups on a tray. Tilly’s high-pitched laughter came from the lounge. Ross’s gravel baritone was distinguishable amidst the murmur of conversation. Dan’s somber gaze went to the door.

“What’s going on between you and Ross?” Viv asked abruptly.

“Funny, I was going to ask you the same thing.”

Viv laughed. “Why, because I made a pass at him eight years ago? He turned me down, remember?” She started pouring tea, the steam rising to scent the air with Darjeeling. “He’s hardly going to be interested now that I’m causing him so much trouble.”

“Uh-huh.” His blue gaze was like a laser. “Your eyes follow him, did you know that?”

Viv paused with the teapot and frowned. No, she didn’t. “Okay,” she admitted, filling the last cup. “Maybe the guy’s still on my bucket list.”

Dan frowned. “He had a girlfriend at the time of the ambush,” he said. “Terri arranged leave from her job to nurse him back to health. The first thing he did when he was transferred to a New Zealand hospital was cut her loose.” He looked at her with troubled eyes. “Ross is one of my closest friends, Viv, but he’s obsessed with getting revenge for Lee and Steve. He’s forgotten what balance is. Keep a safe distance.”

“Well, at least you’re consistent,” said Ross from the doorway. “You bad-mouth me wherever you go.”

“M
Y SISTER HAD MANY FAULTS
but her worst was coming between you and Charlie,” Aunt Agatha told Viv as she accepted a piece of angel food cake. “Of course no woman would have been good enough for her boy.” She paused for a bite, and then sighed. “I’ll miss her, though. Did I tell you we had a real doozie of a fight over Mum’s pearls after she died?” She laughed.

Ear cocked to the kitchen, Viv missed her cue to reply. It didn’t matter. Having lived so long alone with her cats, possibly the older woman didn’t need a response. Taking a deep breath, she launched into her anecdote, leaving Viv free to return to worrying.

Dan had asked her to leave and, embarrassed that Ross might have overheard her admission of interest, Viv hadn’t argued. She forced her attention back to Agatha. Before this crisis week she enjoyed meeting new people. As Merry, there was always the specter of making a mistake. Ten minutes later she was dispensing angel food cake and neither man had reappeared. Through the window she saw that Dan’s new Ute was still parked on the street. She’d give them five more minutes before she intervened.

There was a tug on her dress. “Iv,” said Harry, who had chocolate icing smeared across his chin.

Aunt Agatha paused in her reminisces. “What did the baby say?”

“Give,” she replied. “He wants more cake.” This was
his third visit. A fast learner, was Harry. Handing Agatha the platter, she picked him up. “Excuse us while I find another distraction.”

Threading through the mourners she carried the toddler to the laundry where Charlie had banished Salsa after the schnoodle inhaled a plate of sausage rolls.

“Dog?” said Harry.

“I think Salsa’s done enough penance, don’t you?” During Charlie’s reprimand, Salsa had gazed up at his former master with big doleful eyes that spoke of heartbreak, betrayal, remorse and undying love. His expression had haunted Viv ever since. Of course when she opened the door, those same doggie eyes held mistrust, dislike and suspicion. “No, really,” she said, “don’t thank me.”

Salsa’s claws skittered on the checkered linoleum as he made his break for freedom.

“Dog!” Viv put Harry down and the baby followed.

She stayed to empty the dryer, not because she was superwoman, but because she’d take any excuse for a respite. The fluffy towels were warm and fragrant with fabric softener and she laid one across the back of her neck and felt some of the tension ease. Okay, now she was ready to deal with Dan and Ross.

“Meredith.”

“Charlie!” She yanked off the towel. “I was just… What do you need? Another round of tea?”

“No, I came to let Salsa out.” He looked tired and drawn.

“That’s okay, I just did.”

“I overreacted, didn’t I?”

“I’m sure he’ll forgive you. Well—” she returned the towel to the heap of laundry “—we should check on the guests.”

Charlie cleared his throat. “Thanks for that photo display of Mum that you put together…. You’ve been terrific.”

And a liar and a cheat and a fraud.
“Anyone would have done the same.”

“I’ll have to make sure I keep bringing out Mum’s photos for the kids…so they don’t forget her.” His eyes shining with unshed tears, Charlie picked up a towel and started folding it badly. “Losing Mum like that has made me think about what matters in life, about the things you should hold on to…and the things you should let go of, like anger and bitterness and—”

“Charlie.” He wasn’t telling her this, he was telling Merry. “We should get back to the others.” She looked past him to the door, but he didn’t take the hint. Instead he kept folding towels, piling them up in a misshapen heap.

“Susan told me you said you still loved me,” he blurted. “Do you?”

Lord. Why did Susan have to be so
nice.
Penance, this was penance.

“You don’t want to answer that,” said Charlie when she remained silent. “And who can blame you for protecting yourself. You were right to challenge me at Tilly’s soccer practice. I was the one who walked out on the family. I need to take responsibility for that.” He took a deep breath.

“I turned down your attempts at reconciliation because I wasn’t ready to forgive you…and I know that makes me immature. But I was so hurt, Mere.” His gaze flicked to hers, then away. Sweat beaded on his forehead as he tried to articulate his feelings. He’d probably prefer to be buried alive in one of his concrete slabs than do this.

So would Viv.

“Charlie, I really think we—”

“I couldn’t stand the thought that you might be looking at that doctor the way you used to look at me. Like I could walk on water if I wanted to.” He bowed his head, his big hands fisting in the fluffy pink cotton. “How did it
happen, Mere?” he asked quietly. “How did I shrink from a person you could look up to and respect into another kid that needed looking after?”

Momentarily Viv forgot her role. “That’s exactly how Mum treated Dad.”

“I guess she did.” Charlie wiped his forehead with one of the towels. “Mere, I have to say this now while I’ve got the courage. I want to come home…if you’ll still have me.”

“What?” Viv said faintly.

“I want us to try again.” His eyes met hers. “I love you, Mere and—”

“Charlie, we can’t rush into this,” she said desperately. “With Linda’s death and everything we should take a couple of days to think this through.”

“You don’t trust me after the way I’ve acted. I expected it—”

Viv squirmed. “It’s not that, I—”

“—which is why I’ve asked Pastor Fred to counsel us. To prove I’m serious and to stop falling into the old patterns. You loosening up about schedules and chores, and me, not taking you for granted.”

How could she have been so arrogant? Charging in and blithely casting Charlie in the role of villain. She knew nothing. Nothing. “I’m not necessarily saying no but I feel a couple of days—”

“Hey, I’ll agree to anything,” he said, “but give me some hope.” His crooked grin faded and he held out a hand. “Please.”

The door opened. “Oh, I’m sorry.” One of the mourners stood there. Linda’s friend Bettina. “I was looking for the bathroom.”

Viv had never been so glad to see anyone in her life. “Let me show you.” She ducked under her brother-in-law’s arm. “Charlie, I’ll let you know about that proposal.”

“Today, Mere, even if it’s an agreement in principle.”

“Today.” In the hall, she pointed Bettina in the right direction, then darting a glance over her shoulder, hurried through the house to the toolshed in the backyard. Among the cobwebs and the bags of compost, she pulled out Ross’s cell. Her twin answered on the first ring.

“Viv, at last. I’ve been on tenterhooks—”

“No time. Charlie’s asked for a reconciliation. What excuse can I give him?”

“What! This isn’t one of your jokes is it, Viv? I mean—” her voice rose to an excited shriek “—really?”

Viv held the phone away from her ear. “Really.”

“You don’t need an excuse, the answer’s yes! Yes, triple times, yes! I can hardly believe it.” She started to laugh. “And you’re the most wonderful sister
ever,
talking me into this swap. I had my doubts but—”

“Merry, quit fizzing and think! I
can’t
say yes. Charlie will expect to jump straight back into the marital bed. At the very least, he’ll try and kiss me.”

“Don’t you
dare
kiss my husband.”

“Of course I’m not kissing him, you idiot. Listen, Dan thinks you’re going to have to come clean to Charlie.”

“How does our brother come into this?”

“He showed up at the funeral and recognized me.” Glancing out the shed window, she saw him standing by Dan’s 4WD talking to an increasingly unhappy Ross and felt a surge of fierce protectiveness. Unfortunately it wasn’t for her brother. “Don’t worry. I swore Dan to secrecy. He’s calling in to see you on his way home to Beacon Bay.”

“There’s no way I’ll get Charlie back if I tell him the truth now. My family reunited…it’s the best possible outcome.” Her twin’s voice radiated a passionate intensity. “
Promise
me you’ll keep Charlie in a holding pattern until I get there.”

Viv paused. Charlie wasn’t some actor in a Broadway play to be manipulated into happiness. He was a real man with complicated feelings. But Merry was relying on her. Approving of her for the first time in their lives. Ruthlessly, Viv quashed her doubts. “Okay, I’ll make this work somehow. Anyway, I’ve got to go. I’ll phone when everyone’s gone.” Frowning, she returned to the house. She was reasonably confident she could hold Charlie at arm’s length for a couple more days. Heaven knows she’d had enough experience discouraging earnest lovers. What worried her was Ross’s reaction when he found out about Viv’s new role as proxy wife.

She suspected he wasn’t going to like it.

“W
HAT DO YOU WANT ME
to say, Dan?” Ross demanded. “That it’s okay for you to screw me over? Tell the CO behind my back I’m mentally unfit?” The noon sun glinted off the white hood of his former friend’s new Ute, forcing him to shield his eyes.

“So what, we’re done?” Dan challenged him. “More than a decade of friendship and it’s over because I’m calling it as I see it?”

Ross set his jaw. “If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.”

“For God’s sake, don’t you get it yet? It doesn’t matter jack shit how many of the enemy you annihilate or how many platitudes you hide behind. Nothing will bring Lee and Steve back.”

“I know that but I refuse to become the third victim.” Shutting down the pain came automatically now. “I can be the man I was.”

Dan looked at him with an expression that made Ross feel like a child. “None of us will ever be the same. Nate, me, you. Steve’s wife and son. Lee’s fiancée. The ambush
blew every one of our lives sky-high and dropped us places none of us wanted to go. Chart a new course and move forward.”

“Accept that those who can’t, teach?” Ross sneered.

“Yeah, because a lot of second-raters teach in the SAS!”

“That’s not what I’m saying. They chose that path. You and the CO are trying to force it on me. Just because you’ve opted for a quiet life doesn’t mean I have to.”

Dan stiffened. “Is that what you think? That I’ve gone soft?”

“I think you’ll feel your choice is vindicated if we all link hands and start singing ‘Kumbaya,’ yeah.”

Dan shook his head. “Everything’s filtered through your own warped revenge fantasy. As your friend I’m telling you straight. However stubborn you are, you can’t bulldoze your way past the CO. And until you accept that you’re using anger to avoid grief, you’re jeopardizing any future you have with the SAS.”

“Thanks.” Ross kicked the heavy-duty tires. “Thanks for being on my side.”

“I am on your side, dickhead. That’s why I’m doing this.”

“Yeah? Then why did I catch you warning your sister off like I’m some kind of leper?”

Dan hesitated. “You need to get your shit together before you get involved with anyone and we both know Viv’s always had a soft spot for you.”

“And I might take advantage?”

“I think at the moment you might do anything,” retorted Dan. “Hell, I’ve pissed you off…you might consider it as payback against me.”

Ross wouldn’t have felt so outraged if the idea hadn’t already occurred to him. Dan must have read his guilt because he stopped playing with his car keys. Their eyes locked.

“You have thought about it,” he said slowly.

With an exclamation of disgust, Ross turned and walked away, every molecule of his being concentrating on not limping.

R
OSS WAS SO INTENT
on getting away from Dan before he hit him that he forgot the house was full of mourners. Thankfully the hum of conversation registered before he marched blindly into the sea of black.

He stopped abruptly on the doorstep, in no mood to be polite, emotions churning in his gut like rancid butter. Behind him, he heard the roar of an engine, then the squeal of tires as Dan released his frustration on a floored accelerator.

Unfortunately Ross couldn’t desert Charlie. Not during Linda’s funeral. Which left him stuck there.

Accept that your anger is really grief and you have a future with the SAS.

He realized he was grinding his teeth and struggled to bring his temper under control. He was The Iceman, goddamn it, and master of his fate. Yeah. Right.

He was at the funeral of a woman he loathed.

He was deceiving his brother, the only person loyal to him.

He faced being cast adrift by the unit he’d devoted his career to.

And he’d been betrayed by one of his best friends.

Screw the breathing. In fact, screw everything. He’d make some excuse to Charlie, go back to Linda’s and get drunk on the bottle of whiskey Agatha had given them in lieu of flowers.

From a defensive position in the hall, he scanned the crowded living room for his brother. Feeling a nudge on
his knee, Ross glanced down and saw Salsa holding a ball, doggie eyes begging him to throw it.

“Go find Tilly.” Looking up, he saw Viv heading his way, dressed like a nun in her little black mourning dress, lashes lowered demurely, but with that unconscious sway to her hips that she couldn’t get rid of. His temple started to throb. She was plotting something again, he could tell.

“We need to talk,” Viv murmured urgently.

“The funeral’s over.” Ross didn’t bother to keep his voice down. “There’s no longer a ‘we.’”

She propelled him into the hall. “We’ll talk when Charlie takes Agatha to the airport. The kids are going, too, so we’ll have privacy.”

“Didn’t you hear what I said?” he demanded. “I’m leaving.”

“If you’re not here when Charlie brings the kids home, how will I stop him kissing me?” she asked reasonably.

“What?”

But she’d already returned to the protection of the herd. The woman was as cunning as a weasel. Salsa dropped the ball and growled in the direction of Viv’s swiftly retreating back. “Stand in line,” Ross snarled.

By the time everyone had left and Charlie’s taillights disappeared around the corner, Ross was in serious danger of wringing Viv’s neck.