Stanton Adore (12 page)

I nod. “Me too,” I mouth back.

“Come on,” I grab his hand and lead him to the change rooms. The familiar heat rises from where we touch, he’s on fire. I am armed with ten dresses, surely something will fit. I sit him on the large velvet chair just outside the change room. He doesn’t seem to know the drill.

“You want me to sit here?” he asks.

I nod and smile. “Yes, haven’t you been shopping for girls clothes before?”

He does wide eyes at me. “No, why would I?”

“What about other girlfriends?” I look puzzled.

He smiles a broad smile as he runs his hand through his hair. “So you’re my other girlfriend now?”

I smirk, embarrassed at my slip up. “You know what I mean.”

He nods. “No, I avoid shopping at all costs. The only person who drags me shopping is Adrian and that’s a painful experience, I would rather have my teeth pulled out.” I head into the change room. Thirty minutes later I have tried all of my dresses on. Josh has been the perfect gentleman and waited for me, without as much as a whinge. He hasn’t even asked to see what I’m trying on which is basically a prerequisite when shopping with someone. The last dress I try on is definitely something I would not normally wear. A very cute Sass and Bide number. Its black and skin tight with leather panels down the side, a high back and low front. Frankly, I’m loving myself sick in it, I decide to set a trap. The back zipper is hard to reach so I decide to put to use my shopping buddy rights.

“Josh can you come in here for a minute”

“Huh, in there?”

“Yes, that’s what I said didn’t I?”

“Umm ok,” he pulls the curtain over and steps inside, he looks uncomfortable. His gaze travels down the length of my body.

“Pull the curtain closed,” I whisper. He turns and closes it behind him. His eyes drop once more. “What the fuck are you wearing?” The atmosphere in the change room suddenly becomes thick with want. My pulse quickens. His eyes come back up to my face, his jaw ticks and he cracks his neck, jackpot. I love it when he does that. I don’t know if it’s what I’m wearing or the fact we are alone. But I want him, I want him now. His eyes drop to my hardened nipples and his mouth drops open with arousal as he takes a deep breath.

“Fuck Tash,” he whispers as he closes his eyes trying to block me out. “You need to get that dress off now if you want to walk out of here untouched.”

I smile and bite my lip. “I’d better leave it on then.”

He closes his eyes. “Stop it.”

“No,” I whisper. The next second he grabs me and spins me around so my back is to his front. We stare silently at our reflection in the mirror, each breath deeper than the last. His hands splay across my lower stomach and he pulls me back into his hard length. My head goes back to lean on his chest, my eyes drop closed.

“Precious girl you fucking turn me on, do you know that?” he whispers.

I can’t stop myself I have to play. “What turns you on about me?”

His eyes drop once more.

“The curve of your waist, I love how you’re cinched in here.” He runs his finger from my breast down to the curve of my waist. “And those beautiful tits.” He brings his lips down to the base of my neck and runs his open mouth back up to the top as he tightens his grip on my stomach. “Your smile.” Goose bumps have scattered all over my body.

“My smile?” I whisper.

“Yes your smile, it melts me. Those dimples,” he bites my neck hard. “I fucking love them.” Of all the things I thought he would say, that was the last, but for some reason it means the most.

“Josh,” I whisper as I bring my hand up around the back of his neck. My head drops back again. No longer able to resist. I turn to face him, we stand in silence. Our eyes locked.

“Can I help you in there? How are you going for sizes?” The idiot sales clerk is back. For fucks sake, will everybody stop interrupting us? I’m about to lose it. He jumps back and runs his both hands through his hair. Obviously as frustrated as I am.

“No thanks, I am taking the one I’ve got.”

Josh comes close to my ear and whispers. “You are not wearing that dress to the wedding.”

I frown at him. “Watch me.”

“I mean it, don’t fuck with me.”

I scowl at him. “You can’t tell me what to wear, Joshua.”

“Yes I can, and since when have you called me Joshua,” he mutters as he leaves the change room. I narrow my eyes at myself in the mirror as I redress. I call you Joshua when you piss me off asshole and recently, that’s all the bloody time.

I exit to see him at the cashier with his credit card out. He looks at me deadpan. I walk over and place the last two dresses on the counter and get my wallet out.

“I’ve got it,” he snaps. I roll my eyes and wish the annoying sales clerk would leave so I can tell him to fuck right off. Who does he think he is?

We walk to the car in silence. I’m not playing his stupid game, if he’s got the shits then he can come clean about what. I’m not asking. He stalks into a coffee shop just where the car is parked. After ordering us two coffees he returns to where I have sat. He sits and starts to read the paper that has been left on the table. Am I in the Twilight Zone? What the hell just happened? One minute he is telling me my smile turns him on and biting my neck. The next minute he’s snapping orders. I’m too tired to deal with this shit today, I’ve hardly slept all week. I wait for my coffee in silence. His name is called and he goes and retrieves our order, I take it without a thank you. If he wants rude, two can play at that game. He sips his coffee while watching me, I ignore him.

“You are not wearing that dress with Syral.”

“Its Simon,” I roll my eyes “And yes I am. I gave you the chance to be my date and you turned it down, remember.”

He shakes his head as he drinks his coffee. “I told you don’t threaten me.”

“And I told you don’t tell me what to do.”

“When did I tell you what to do?”

“When you told me not to wear the dress.”

“I mean to the wedding for Christ sake. Someone will fuck you on the bridal table.”

I break into a smile, surly he can’t be serious. “You had better come then, to protect me.”

His eyes twinkle and he shakes his head. “Who will protect you from me?” he gives me a wink as he sips his coffee.

I smile, bastard he’s got me. “Are you coming or not?”

“Yes,” he snaps.

Ha I won, I chalk up a silent victory. “Can you take me home now?” I say sweetly as I bat my eyelids. “You’ve dragged me around the shops enough for today.” He smirks as he shakes his head.

The drive home is awkward, I am deep in thought about how I can prolong our visit and I have no idea what’s running through his mind. Twice though, he cracks his neck. So that’s a good sign. He pulls up at my house and turns off his car, he seems nervous. I’m nervous, can I do this?

“Do you want to come up for coffee?” I grab his hand. I internally kick myself. Coffee, we just had frigging coffee. What a lame thing to say. He looks down to our entwined fingers as he swallows, I can almost hear his brain ticking.

“It’s not a good idea Presh.” The sound of him calling me Presh which is short for Precious, his pet name for me, opens a wound in my chest that I can’t deny. I nod unable to speak, I can feel the tears forming. I don’t want to say goodbye. What’s going on with me? I’m acting like a love sick fifteen year old. My eyes cloud over and I go to quickly get out of the car before he sees. Too late he grabs me by the arm.

“What’s wrong?” he whispers. I shake my head, the lump in my throat blocking my vocals.

“Tash, talk to me.”

“I don’t want to say goodbye Josh.” His eyes drop. “We can’t even be friends can we?” I ask.

“We can be friends Tash. It just can’t be like it was with us.”

“I know,” I whisper. I get out of the car and turn and give him a wave. “Thanks for taking me shopping,” I smile. He nods but doesn’t say anything. I head into the building and take the stairs. I need to clear my brain. I feel so needy, this is unlike me. I walk into my apartment and head for my bedroom, I flop onto the bed. Hot tears are wetting my cheeks and I don’t even know why. That’s a lie. I do, I want him to want me as much as I want him. I head to my therapy of choice and have a steaming hot shower. I sit on the bottom of the shower feeling sorry for myself, like I have done thousands of times before. The tears have stopped finally. I’m in there so long the room is full of steam. I stand up and open the door so I can turn the fan on. I’m hit with the visual of Joshua leaning up against the wall in the bathroom. How long has he been there watching me? Did he hear me cry? His eyes search mine for the second time today and my breathe catches.

Chapter 9

I stagger back
at the sight of him, shit. He’s standing with his hands linked on top of his head. His eyes cast down, leaning against the wall.

“Josh,” I whisper. “What are you doing here?” He looks at me and shakes his head, unable to answer. “Baby answer me?”

“Stop calling me that,” he snaps.

“No, I told you I won’t.” He swallows and looks down again. It is then I notice I am totally naked. I quickly grab a towel from the rail and wrap it around me. He stills looks down and his hands are still on top of his head, as if he is trying not to touch me, trying to restrain himself. The room is filled with steam, I am dripping wet in a towel and the man I am beyond physically attracted is looking at the floor rather than at me. What’s wrong with this picture?

“Josh answer me,” I repeat. His eyes meet mine with a sadness in them nearly breaks my heart. His hands are still linked on top of his head.

“I’m not strong enough, I can’t do it.” He whispers.

“Strong enough for what?” I frown.

“To not want you.” He closes his eyes as if in pain.

“Baby,” I whisper as I wrap my arms around him. “I want you to want me.”

“No Natasha,” he pushes me away. “I can’t do this”.

“Josh talk to me, what’s going on?”

He shakes his head.

‘Why did you do it?”

“What do you mean Josh?”

“Why did you leave me before you even gave me a chance?”

That’s what all this anger is about? I smile.

“You find this funny?” he snaps. “I knew this was a waste of time,” he turns to walk out of the room.

“Josh, no.” I am suddenly panicked. “I didn’t do anything but save you from yourself.”

He frowns at me. “What do you mean?”

“Josh you weren’t thinking straight, you were going to fess up to our parents.” He frowns again. “I was young and you were my older cousin.” He shakes his head as he listens. “Josh if my father found out he would have killed you, he would have thought that you forced me.”

He steps back shocked at my insinuations. “It wasn’t like that,” he whispers as his face drops.

“I know, but that’s how it would have looked. I had to do it.”

His anger reignites. “You had to conveniently sleep with someone else to save me? Do you think I’m that stupid?” He yells.

I step back. “No Josh, I lied to save you.” He frowns again. “I lied. I would never sleep with anyone else Josh.”

He narrows his eyes at me. “What’s that supposed to mean?” I can feel those uncontrollable frigging tears appearing once again.

“How could you Josh?” I choke out past the lump in my throat.

“Do what?”

“How could you think I actually slept with someone else? I was totally in love with you. It broke my fucking heart Josh and you believed it, just like that you believed it.”

“It came from your mouth,” he points at me. “You are the one that said it. Let me see, it went like this. Have you slept with him? And you replied yes!” he yells.

I step back and cross my arms. “So you don’t believe me?” I whisper.

He drops his head again, his hands still linked on top of his head. “Let’s just leave it” he drops his hands, “this is stupid.”

“No Josh you’re stupid.” His eyes ignite with rage.

“Do you really expect me to believe you didn’t sleep with him?” His eyes are questioning and hurt.

“I didn’t, I promise. I would never have done that to you. I kept waiting for you to work it out. Why didn’t you work it out Josh?” Hot tears stream down onto my cheeks, tears of guilt. Through the lump in my throat I whisper. “Have you ever thought of me Josh?” He nods, his eyes sallow. The sight of the emotion in his eyes opens a wound in my chest, and a sob escapes.

“Josh I’ve missed you, so damn much it hurts,” I whisper. He stays silent as he inhales precious air deeply into his lungs. He lifts his hand and runs it over my hair.

“Show me.” He continues stroking my hair and wraps his fingers around the back of my neck. I look up at his lips as he lowers them to mine. He kisses me gently, swiping his tongue through my open mouth. A shiver runs through my body and a groan escapes me, one I can’t control. The kiss deepens and his tongue takes over every sense I own, taking what he wants. He brings his hands to my face and holds my cheeks as he kisses me again, deeper this time. His tongue demanding arousal. My body happy to oblige. A shiver runs through me as I feel a very familiar pulse start to throb between my legs. I can’t believe it, we are alone and he knows the truth. The last thought scatters goose bumps over my body.

“Show me,” he whispers in my ear as he bites it. “Show me how much you have missed me.” He runs his open mouth down the length of my neck. I pull back to look at him and his eyes have changed. They are now dark with desire. They call to a part of me that only he knows. Without breaking eye contact he grabs the bottom of his t-shirt and pulls it off over his head. Each breath I take is deeper than the last, my heart racing out of control. My eyes drop to his chest, holy fuck this body is ridiculous. It takes my breath away. He is tanned and muscular his chest has a scattering of dark hair, it picks up again below his navel in a thin line that disappears into his cargo pants. I look back up to see the anxiety etched on his face. I run my fingertips down the length of his body until I reach the tattoo. Ahh that’s why he looks nervous, he doesn’t know how I will react. I turn him and lift his arm, he lets me and raises his arm for me to see. I follow my name with my finger tip slowly. My god I adore this man.

“When did you get this baby?” I whisper……silence, he doesn’t answer. “Josh answer me and I want the truth.”

“On your twenty first birthday, it’s your birthday present.” He closes his eyes as if pained. I can’t help it, tears instantly over fill my eyes. I bend and slowly kiss the tattoo. Overcome with emotion I can’t hold the tears back as they run freely down my face. I hold him in an embrace around the stomach as I sob against his body. He runs his fingers through my hair.

“Happy birthday, precious girl.” I stand up and that’s it. I know it’s over, I will do anything he wants. With dark eyes he ticks his jaw and cracks his neck. I love that. “Now stop with the blubbering and show me how much you’ve fucking missed me.” He smiles and bites his lip as he grabs my shoulders and pushes me down onto my knees. I drop, eager to taste him. Desperation hits as I rip his pants down. His engorged length falls into my hands and I lick my lips as I size up the perfect manhood in front of me. Holy mother fuck, he’s frigging huge. Has he always been this big? He gently runs his fingers through my hair and lifts himself into my waiting mouth. I close my eyes as I swirl my tongue around the tip and gently suck.

“Fuck,” he hisses and leans back against the wall, unable to hold his weight on his legs any longer. His response urges me on and I take the full length of him, I suck harder and hold onto his hips for balance. Slowly but surely I build a rhythm each stroke deeper than the last, each suck more powerful. The contrast between the hard powerful lurches of his hips into my mouth and the gentle stoking of his hands on my hair bring me to an involuntary groan. I am rewarded with a gush of pre-ejaculate, god he tastes good. His breathing is laboured and he leans his head back against the wall.

“Fuck Tash, you suck me so good,” he breathes. He pushes the hair from my forehead and runs his fingers down my cheeks, feeling them dip in as I suck. His mouth drops open as he watches me, the look in his eyes is pure predatory. Our eyes lock and something shifts between us, memories reawaken. An unspoken language that only we can understand. I close my eyes to block out the intimacy. It’s too much. Too fast. He pulls himself free of my mouth and bends to kiss me, a slow gentle tongue kiss.

“Stand,” he whispers “I need to be inside you precious girl.” I stand and he kisses me again as he pushes me back to the vanity and lifts me to sit on top of it. He slowly undoes my towel from my body and stands back to look at me. I feel self-conscious. It’s the middle of the frigging day and I’m spread eagled in front of the most beautiful man on the planet. His eyes drop to between my legs.

“Perfect,” he whispers. I smile as I internally thank Abbie for the appointment at the Beautiful Behinds waxing salon yesterday, I owe her……big time. He runs his hand down the front of my neck to my breasts which he cups with his hands, my nipples harden under his attention. He lets out a low groan and closes his eyes. Seriously, this man is hot. I think the phrase, god’s gift to women is definitely appropriate in this situation. His mouth drops open again as he watches with dark eyes his fingers run down the length of my body and he swipes them through my wet flesh between my legs. I whimper and throw my head back to lean on the mirror. He starts to kiss my neck with an open mouth and gently starts to spread my knees with his hands, running both hands back and forward from my knees to my hips slowly. I know he’s trying to calm himself. His breath quivering as he sucks in air. Just the thought that he could be this aroused from my body starts to liquefy my insides and I find myself panting, anticipating his next move. His fingertips circle through my swollen flesh and his thumb rubs over my clitoris, I shudder with arousal. “Fuck, you are dripping wet,” he smiles into my neck. I grab the back of his head and bury it into my neck. I can’t even speak, let alone answer. A low moan escapes me. Even if I wanted to stop and I don’t, it would not be physically possible at this point. My body has gone into overdrive and is on a one way race track to orgasm. He steps back and once again stares down at my open weeping flesh, he cracks his neck hard and I know he’s gone past his physical limits of restraint. His mouth slackens and he slowly pushes one of his fingers into me, twisting his hand as he does. He closes his eyes as he moans. “Fuck!” I smile and bite my lip. I like that response, I like it a lot. Standing back with eyes still focused on my sex he slowly fucks me with his finger and then adds a second as he twists his hand again. I groan and lean my head back. Shit, I think I’m going to come from just this, how embarrassing. He seems to lose control and bites my neck hard as his strong fingers pick up the pace.

“You’re so tight precious. I wanted to come with you first time, but it’s not going to work,” he bites me, taking possession, it’s almost painful. Goose bumps scatter again.

“Huh,” I whisper “What do you mean?”

“If I don’t make you come first I won’t be able to get in, you’re too tight baby,” he whispers into my ear as he bites it. On hearing those words my legs open wider by themselves, he starts to scissor his fingers. Oh dear god. This is too good. Once again he takes my mouth hard, a take no prisoner’s kind of kiss, biting my bottom lip as he pulls away. He bends and picks me up over his shoulder and walks down the hall, bangs open my bedroom door and throws me onto the bed. Oh fuck, this is going to hurt. I just know it. I think I said once before who does he think he is? I can tell you one thing, he puts Dirk Diggler to shame. Shit, and he said I’m tight. Before I can think any more he crawls over me and settles his hips to cradle between my legs. He gently starts to rub the side of his shaft through my swollen flesh, while holding his weight up on straightened arms as he kisses me passionately again. A gentle hard rub, one that has my body involuntarily lifting off the bed to meet him. Damn, he’s good at this. His hand run from my jaw down to my breast to my hipbone then underneath my knee as he brings my leg around his hip. All while kissing me passionately. I don’t have a fucking chance against this god. Slowly he kisses down my throat to my breasts which he immediately brings to attention as he sucks both of my nipples hard between his teeth. My back arches off the bed, a sheen of perspiration now covering both of our bodies. I run my fingers through his hair. He pushes my legs apart until they are touching the bed and gives me a carnal smile as he disappears down my body. Shit its daylight, surely we can ease into this in the dark for Pete’s sake. But my thoughts are instantly erased as his hot tongue swipes through my flesh, I jump off the bed, the sensation burning through me.

“Shshh precious girl, I’ve got you. Relax baby, I won’t hurt you,” he reaches his hand up and links his fingers in mine, our eyes lock. The intimacy of the act once again undoes my emotions and I put my head back onto the mattress to hide my glassy eyes. Fuck, what am I doing? I’m going to get hurt, I just know it. This can only end badly.

His tongue goes to work stroking deep long licks through the length of my sex. I start to quiver. “Shshh baby,” he stops and stills to calm me. “Take your time, relax. Let me enjoy you.” I nod and squeeze his hand unable to articulate words. This is too much. He squeezes my hand back and then brings his fingers down to part me open to his gaze. I’m holding my breath, actually no I’m not holding it, I can’t breathe, my lungs have no air. I‘m waiting for his reaction, for him to say something.

He closes his eyes and whispers. “Do you know how long I’ve waited to have you like this?” My glassy eyes meet his and I nod, I too have waited long and hard for this.

“Let me come inside you.”

I frown at him. “Josh, I don’t think.”

“I’m clean, I promise. I don’t want anything between us. I want it to be just you and me, I’ve waited for this. I’ve never had sex without a condom on before and I want that with you. Don’t take it away from me,” he whispers. Oh shit. Goosebumps scatter and his words ramp up my libido to fever pitch. As if he can sense my desperation he starts his oral assault again, his tongue taking what it wants from my body, his eyes closed in reverence. I start to whimper as my hips start to sway on their own to the rhythm of his tongue. I’m close. He brings my legs up over his shoulders and he too is losing control. He can sense my oncoming orgasm approaching like a freight train. I’m panting, covered in sweat as I watch his head move between my legs, feel his strong shoulders under my legs. He closes his eyes and groans into me. That’s it, I can’t hold it any longer and I scream out as I am racked with violent shudders.

“Fuck,” he whispers as he lets me gently come down with gentle laps. I look up into the face of a triumphant male as he whispers, “Again.”