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Authors: Brenda Jackson

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I love you.

Ethan

Tears rolled from her eyes. She didn't think it would be so hard giving him up. She hadn't counted on the agony and the pain, the feeling of loneliness and heartbreak. It was hard during the day to see him and try to ignore him. Alone in her trailer, she would feel alienated. Even after three days, everyone on the set was still abuzz about her and Ethan breaking the rules, but so far neither Frasier nor John had approached her or Ethan. She figured they were probably waiting for one of them to approach them first, so tomorrow she would.

Tomorrow… Tomorrow she was scheduled to do Ethan's makeup. Typically they would be alone in her
trailer, but she didn't want everyone speculating about what they were doing or saying behind closed doors. To have one of her assistants fill in for her would indicate she wasn't professional enough to handle a controversial situation. So in a way it was a “damned if you do and damned if you don't” situation.

Livia had come to her rescue. She volunteered to be the buffer by being in the trailer at the same time Ethan was there, on the pretext of repairing a broken nail or something. Rachel hoped the ploy worked.

 

Ethan knew all eyes were on him as he headed for Rachel's trailer. No doubt there were some who had their watch set to see how long he stayed inside alone with her.

“Ethan, wait up.” He stopped and glanced around. Livia was walking toward him. She was one of the few women on set who hadn't tried coming on to him. Like Rachel, she was a specialist in her craft. Even with all those love scenes they'd done, they had still maintained professionalism.

“I need to see Rachel a minute myself,” she said, smiling. “Broken nail.”

He smiled, seeing through her ploy. Rachel was her friend and she was making an attempt to avoid gossip and speculation.

From the look on Rachel's face when they entered her trailer, Ethan knew for certain that Livia's appearance had been planned. Rachel showed no surprise at seeing them both walk in.

“Hello, Ethan, you can take my chair. And Livia, I'll fix that nail in a minute, just as soon as I finish with Ethan.”

“No problem,” Livia said, smiling. “I'll just sit over here.”

“You can go ahead and take care of Livia and then do me,” Ethan suggested. Only after the words had left his mouth did he realize their double meaning.

“No, Livia can wait until I finish with you,” Rachel insisted.

“And I don't have a problem with you doing her first.”

Before Rachel could open her mouth to retort, Livia spoke up. “Look, guys, evidently you two need time alone to clear up a few things.”

“No, we don't.”

“Yes, we do.”

Livia shook her head. “Since the two of you can't agree, I'll make the decision for you,” she said. “Rachel, you can work on Ethan while I excuse myself a minute to go to the ladies' room.” Livia then headed toward the back of the trailer where the dressing room and bathroom were located.

Rachel watched her friend's retreating back.

“You can take care of me now, Rachel.”

Rachel turned and glared at Ethan. “Do you not care about my career?”

His face rigid, he returned her glare. “And do you not care about my heart? Or yours?”

Her stomach twisted with his question, and she forced
herself to ignore the stab of pain that ripped through her. “I care, but there's nothing I can do about it, Ethan. Please just let me make you up so I can be ready for the next person.”

“Fine, get to it then.”

He reclined in the chair and she stood over him. She hesitated a moment and looked into the eyes staring back at her. Just like always when she looked at them, she was in awe of their beauty, but this time she saw the anger and pain in their depths.

Drawing in a deep breath, she brushed foundation across his cheekbones, then around his mouth, and she couldn't help but focus on his lips. Lips she had kissed so many times. Lips she wanted to kiss again. But she fought doing so.

Those lips moved and she heard the husky but low tone of his voice. “I love you, Rachel.”

She dropped the brush from her hand and took a step back. “I'm finished, Ethan.”

He eased out of the chair, his long legs bringing him to stand directly in front of her. “You might be finished but I'm not, Rachel. At least not where you're concerned. What we've shared is too precious and I won't give up on us. Admit that you love me as much as I love you.”

She looked up at him, her heart full, but was unable to say the words he wanted to hear. “Ethan, I—I can't say it.”

He reached out and gently pulled her into his arms and she could not have pulled out of them even if she wanted to. He lowered his head and, of their own accord,
her lips parted as she sighed his name. The moment his lips touched hers she felt soothed by something she had missed for the past couple of days, something her body had gotten used to having.

A sensuous shudder passed through her as his tongue reinstated its rights to her mouth, letting her know that no matter how she continued to deny them, put distance between them, there would always be this—a passion so intense and forceful, it would take more than negative publicity to destroy it.

When he angled his head to deepen the kiss, she stretched up on tiptoes to get the full Ethan Chambers effect. And it was worth every effort. He was kissing her like a starving man, and in kind, she was kissing him like a starving woman. Her heart swelled with every stroke of his tongue, and she knew in her heart what she refused to speak out loud.

He finally pulled his mouth away and tenderly touched her cheek. “One day you will tell me that you love me and I'll be ready to hear it when you do.” His tone was raw and husky and sent sensuous shivers all down her spine.

He leaned down and brushed a kiss across her lips before turning to walk out of the trailer.

Chapter 18

R
achel's lips twitched in a smile when the limousine pulled up behind Amaury's, an exclusive restaurant in Hollywood whose doors usually were closed until eight every night. Only Sofia, with a list of connections and contacts a mile long, could make the impossible happen.

For the past week, other than leaving for work, Rachel had pretty much stayed in and not ventured out with the paparazzi breathing down her neck. Although the breakup between Rayon Stewart and Artis Lomax and rumors of another adoption by Brad and Angelina now dominated the headlines, there were a few reporters who just didn't know when to quit.

“We're here, Ms. Rachel.”

“Thanks, Martin,” she said to the man who'd been the limo driver for Limelight Entertainment for years. She could recall sitting in the backseat of the huge car, with him behind the wheel, while being transported to and from private school as a child of no more than eight or nine. During those days, he kept her entertained with his own rendition of the animated voices of Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck. He used to be so good at it.

Moments later, he was holding the door open for her as she got out. Amaury Gaston met her at the door and gave her a big hug.

“Sofia is already seated and waiting on you, Rachel,” he said in a heavy French accent.

“Thanks.”

“I've prepared your favorite,” he added.

Rachel licked her lips. Chicken cordon bleu, she guessed, and Amaury's was the best. “You like spoiling me and Sofia,” she said, smiling.

“Yes, just like I used to enjoy spoiling your parents. They were two of my first customers, and your father proposed to your mother right here one night. It was very special.”

Rachel had heard the story before but didn't mind hearing it again. According to everyone who knew them, her parents had been very much in love.

“And I know if they were alive, they would want me to treat their girls just as special as I thought they were,” Amaury added.

Moments later, Rachel made her way toward the table where her sister sat waiting. Sofia saw her approach and
smiled. With her beauty and tall, slender figure, Rachel thought Sofia could have easily been a model or actress. Instead, she had followed in their father's footsteps and had taken his place in the family business working alongside Uncle Jacob. Despite their age difference, she and Sofia had maintained a close relationship, especially now that Sofia wasn't as overprotective as she used to be.

Sofia stood and Rachel walked straight into her sister's outstretched arms. Then Sofia took a step back and studied her from head to toe. “Hmm, it doesn't look like the tabloids have beaten you up too badly, although I'm sure there are scars on the inside that I can't see.”

Rachel felt a thickness in her throat. She hadn't intended to let Sofia know just how shaken up she really was. Ethan's kiss yesterday had done that enough. She had expected him to call last night, but he hadn't. She wasn't sure what she would have said if he had.

“Are you okay, Rach?” Sofia asked, looking into her eyes.

“Yes.”

“You sure?”

Rachel forced a smile. “Yes, I'm fine. Come on, let's let Amaury know we're ready to be served. I'm starving,” she said, moving to her chair and away from her sister's intense scrutiny.

“Okay, but don't think you're not going to tell me everything,” Sofia said, taking her own seat again.

“Everything like what?”

Sofia held her gaze with that “let's get serious”
expression on her face. “Everything like how you really feel about Ethan Chambers.”

 

“Maybe we ought to buy stock in those tabloids since you seem to be in them quite a bit these days, Ethan.”

Ethan closed his refrigerator after pulling out a cold beer. He juggled the phone as he twisted off the cap. His heart had begun pounding in his chest when the phone had rung, in hopes the caller was Rachel. Instead it was Hunter. “That's a possibility.”

“So is any of it true?” his brother asked.

“The only thing I will admit to is an involvement with Rachel. Her motives were exploited falsely. Our being together was mutual and she didn't need me to advance her career. She did that on her own.”

“Pretty defensive, aren't you?”

“Can't help but be where she's concerned. I love her.”

There was silence on the other end, and Ethan was well aware that his brother was recovering from what he'd said. In all his twenty-eight years, he'd never admitted to loving any woman. While his brother was pondering what he'd said, Ethan took a swig of beer.

“This is serious,” Hunter finally said.

“I hope she realizes that it is. She's tabloid shy.”

“And you're just the opposite,” Hunter pointed out. “For as long as I can recall, you enjoyed getting in front of a camera.”

Ethan shrugged, remembering some of his wild
escapades while in high school and college. “Not when they portray my woman in a bad light.”

“Well, we're all looking forward to meeting her. And since things are that serious, don't forget the traditional Chambers vineyard weddings.”

Ethan smiled. “I won't, but first I have to convince her that she loves me and that I will make her life with me worth anything the tabloids might put her through.”

“Good luck.”

Ethan drew in a deep breath. “Thanks.” He knew he was going to need it.

 

Sofia took another sip of her wine. “And you think Livia Blake might be looking for another agent?” she asked.

“Yes,” Rachel said, eager to keep her sister talking about something else other than her and Ethan. “Livia says at thirty her modeling days are coming to an end, and she wants an agent who will take her acting career to another level and run with it. Of course, she's heard about Limelight Entertainment and would love to talk to you, but she's heard how selective you are.”

Sofia didn't deny what Rachel said. She
was
selective. “I've been keeping an eye on Livia Blake's modeling career for a while now and wondered if she planned on doing anything beyond that. Limelight is definitely interested, so have her give me a call.”

Rachel looked at her sister and could tell she was bothered about something and that it was something other than what was going on with her and Ethan.
“You've been working a lot lately, Sofia. When do you plan on taking another vacation?”

Sofia smiled. “Hmm, a vacation sounds nice but I won't be going back to the islands any time soon. My clientele has doubled, and I have to find work for a lot of people.” She took another sip of her wine, leaned back in her chair and asked, “Did you know Uncle Jacob is thinking about retiring?”

Rachel's eyes widened. “No. I talked to him a few days ago and he said nothing about that. But I can see him wanting to just chill, take it easy and travel. He and Aunt Lily have been saying they want to build that house in Barbados for years.”

“Yes, I'd love for him to retire and enjoy life, too, but not if the rumors I'm hearing are true.”

Rachel lifted a brow. “What rumors?”

Although there weren't others in the restaurant, Sofia leaned over the table and said in a low tone, “I've heard that he's thinking about selling his interest in Limelight to Ramell Jordan at A.F.I.”

Rachel's expression denoted her surprise. Artists Factory Inc. had been a rival talent agency of Limelight Entertainment for years. In fact, Ramell's father, Emmett, had been a close friend of her father's, but for some reason they were not on good terms at the time of her dad's death. And because of Sofia's close relationship with their father, Rachel was not surprised that her sister would not favor a possible merger.

“What you heard is probably just a rumor,” Rachel
said, hoping that would smooth her sister's ruffled feathers.

“I certainly hope so. I can't believe Uncle Jacob would consider doing such a thing.”

Rachel could see why he would. Although her father and Emmett Jordan had ended on bad terms, Uncle Jacob and Emmett had remained somewhat friendly.

“Ramell Jordan is nothing more than the son of a backstabber after what Emmett did to Dad,” Sofia said angrily.

Rachel lifted a brow. “And just what did he do to Dad?”

She'd always believed there was more to the story than either she or Sofia knew, but no one would ever say. In fact, Sofia was the only one who'd ever made such accusations about Emmett Jordan. All Uncle Jacob would say was that it had been a misunderstanding between the two men and that had her father lived, his and Emmett's relationship would have been restored to a close friendship.

“You're better off not knowing.”

Rachel only shook her head. For years that had been the same response Sofia gave her whenever she asked. Maybe she was simply better off not knowing.

“And now that you've tried to get me to avoid talking about you and Ethan Chambers, I think that we need to finally get to the meat of your problem.”

Rachel pushed away her plate. Dinner had been delicious and now she was ready for desert and coffee.

But she would wait awhile until after she answered the questions she knew her sister had for her.

“There's really nothing to tell, Sofia. You know how I detest being in the public eye and Ethan's popularity right now puts him there, as well as any woman he's involved with.”

“So the two of you
are
involved?”

Pain rolled through Rachel. “We
were
involved.”

Sofia studied her sister's features, saw the pain that settled in her face. “The two of you kept things between you a secret from everyone—including me—which evidently was working for a while. So what happened?”

Rachel took a deep breath, and then she told Sofia about what Paige had done.

A deep frown appeared on Sofia's face. “And this Paige person works on the set of
Paging the Doctor?

“Yes, she's a production assistant.”

“Not for long,” Sofia muttered under her breath. “Tell me something, Rachel. Did your affair with Ethan have substance or was it all about sex?”

Rachel met her sister's inquisitive gaze. It would be so easy to claim it had been nothing but sex, but this was Sofia and she'd always had a way of seeing through any lie Rachel told. Besides, she would tell Sofia what she hadn't told anyone, not even Ethan.

“I love him, Sofia. It wasn't all about sex.”

Her sister stared at her for a long moment, and then a smile touched her lips when she said, “Then I can see no reason why the two of you can't be together.”

Rachel rolled her eyes. In a way she was surprised at her sister's comment, since Sofia of all people knew how she guarded her privacy. “You know that's not possible, Sofia. Ethan is an up-and-coming star, and being the focus of a lot of attention is what will boost his career. I can't risk that kind of publicity with the career I tried so hard to build.”

“And what else?”

Rachel gave her sister a confused look. “What do you mean what else?”

Sofia leaned in closer. “This is me, and I can read you like a book, Rachel. So level with me and tell me the real reason you and Ethan can't be together. Since I'm always on the lookout for potential clients, I'm well aware that Ethan Chambers is hot news. I'm also well aware that during the time the two of you were having your secret tryst, his name wasn't linked to any Hollywood starlet, which made the tabloids wonder exactly what he was doing and who he was doing it with. And when it seemed he had decided to just live a boring life, they backed off. When the news hit the papers about the two of you, the tabloids had basically given him a rest.”

Sofia paused to take a sip of her wine and then asked, “And what's this I hear about you taking a temporary leave from the show?”

Rachel placed her wine glass down after taking her own sip. She didn't have to wonder where Sofia had gotten the news. Few people knew that Frasier considered himself as their godfather. “I thought it would be best, and I met with Frasier yesterday. He
wasn't all that keen on the idea but said since there was only a week left for filming, he would go along with it. But he wanted me back on my job when they began the new season. I can handle that.”

Sofia lifted a brow. “Can you? They aren't writing Ethan out of the script, so he'll be returning, too. Will you be able to handle that?”

“I don't have a choice.”

“Yes, you do. For once you can fight for what you want, what you have every right to have.”

Rachel was still surprised by her sister's attitude. She'd expected her to be the voice of reason and agree with her that the best thing was to put her career ahead of anything else. That was certainly what Sofia was doing these days. She couldn't recall a time when her sister had gotten serious about a man.

“You don't think my career is important, Sofia?”

Sofia waved off her words. “Of course I do, but your heart takes priority.”

At Rachel's frown, Sofia reached out and captured her hand in hers. “Hear me out for a second, Rach.” She paused and then said, “This is the first time I can truly say I believe you're in love. It shows on your face every time you say Ethan's name. You, little sister, are truly in love and I don't believe it's one-sided. I've been waiting to see how Ethan was going to respond to the tabloids. He hasn't denied the two of you are having an affair. In fact, he's gone on record with Joe Connors to say that you were not using him to boost your career. Other than that, he's been low-key about everything, which shows
me he's doing whatever he can to protect you, and I like him for that. He could take all this publicity and run with it, but he hasn't. He's trying to fade to black.”

Rachel had to agree with Sofia on that. Ethan was keeping a low profile these days.

BOOK: Star of His Heart
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