Star Struck (20 page)

“It’s late, Beckett. I should probably get home.”

“What are you, eighty? It’s not late.”

“Not for you.” I play with the collar of his shirt. “You can sleep until noon. I have class in the morning.”

“Fine. Tomorrow night then?”

“I was already planning on it.”

“And this time it’s your turn.”

“My turn for what?”

“C’mon, Star. I’ve shared a lot with you this week. Tomorrow night you take me somewhere.” He tucks his finger under my chin. “I want to learn more about you.”

“Okay.” I smile, knowing exactly where I’ll take him.

It feels weird to be the one in control this time. For the past w
eek Beckett has dictated where we went and when. Not that it bothered me. I kind of liked it. If we were back in my hometown there are so many places I could take him; so many memories I could share. In Seattle I’m not familiar with much, and I don’t have any memories here. However, there is one thing I know a lot about, and it’s something I can show him anywhere that has a sky. So I drive out to the same spot he took me on our first date.

When I pull over and cut the engine, he turns to me with his brows furrowed. “Don’t tell me you used to come here and play music too. That would just be too weird.”

I giggle. “No, I’ve only been in Seattle a couple of months and the first time I came here was with you. But it’s the perfect location for me to show you something.” I exit the car and head to the trunk. After popping it, I pull out a blanket and join Beckett. Hand in hand we walk forward. Only I don’t take him as far as the tree. Instead, I stop when we get to the middle of the field. I drop the blanket on the ground and spread it out over the dirt and grass. “C’mon.” I lay on my back, my hair splaying out around my face.

“What are we doing?” He asks as he plops down next to me.

“Just trust me, okay? Lay down on your back like me.”

“Okay, but you better not try to take advantage of me,” he jokes.

“Don’t worry.” I chuckle.

Beckett does as he’s told.

I glance over at his face and smile. “Now look up in the sky and tell me what you see.”

“Stars.”

“Yeah, and the moon right over there.” I point to the bright yellow crescent shining over the backdrop of night. “See the star closest to the moon? The brightest one in the sky? That’s Sirius.”

“Okay, well then I will take it seriously.”

“Not serious,” I say with a slight giggle under my words. “Sirius is what the star is called. When I was a little girl my dad used to take me out to a field near our house at night. He would point out all the stars to me and tell me their names. Man, I used to love those nights. I loved those times with my dad when it was just the two of us.”

Beckett’s hand closes over mine, his fingers tickling my flesh. “Do you miss him?”

“Sometimes, I guess. But I was ready to leave home. I like my life here.”

“I’m glad because I like you being here.” Beckett squeezes my hand.

His words warm my heart and cause a smile to break out on my face. I don’t think I’ve ever smiled more in my life than I have over the past week. “That doesn’t mean that my dad didn’t want me to follow in his footsteps. I think he always hoped I would.”

“How come you didn’t?”

“It wasn’t my passion. It was my dad’s. I appreciated his love for it, but my heart always leaned towards music.”

Out of the corner of my eye I see Beckett’s face turn toward me. “What made you love music so much?”

“I don’t know. I think when I was little I dreamed of being a pop star the same way every little girl does. But at some point I realized that I really did have musical talent. So when I was around ten I asked my parents for a keyboard for Christmas. I think they thought I was crazy, but they bought it anyway. I started playing around on it, and bought some books about playing keyboard.” I shrug. “I guess it just came naturally to me.”

“That’s amazing. I still can’t believe you taught yourself to play. That takes some real dedication.”

I turn my head to look at him, our eyes locking. “I think when you feel strongly about something you’ll do whatever it takes to see it through.”

It’s silent as we stare at each other. Usually silence bothers me
, but in this moment as I stare into Beckett’s eyes I feel that words would cheapen the moment. His fingers trace the inside of my palm, and he looks at me with an intensity I’ve never seen in anyone before. It’s like we’re communicating without saying anything. I can see in his eyes the turmoil that he’s wrestling with. It’s almost like I can see the demons that live behind his irises. But I can also see what he feels for me, and that is something I can cling to. After several minutes, the moment is broken when Beckett smiles at me and then turns his head back to look up into the sky.

26

Beckett

“Wanna know which star is my favorite?” I roll over, proppi
ng my elbow up on the blanket.

“Which one?” Star still stares up at the inky black sky.

“This one.” I lean over her, swiping my finger across her cheek until it reaches her lips.

“Really?” She smiles up at me.

“Really.” I nod, running my fingertip over her bottom lip. “And I’m tired of just staring at this Star.”

“What do you have in mind?” She raises a brow.

“This.” I bend over her, placing each arm around her head. Then I catch her lips in mine. Her hands come up around my face, drawing me closer. I press my lips hard against hers and coax her lips open with my tongue. Then I dart my tongue in her mouth and slide it against hers, tasting her sweetness. A tiny moan of pleasure escapes from her throat and it’s beautiful, just like how she sings. It takes all my willpower to keep my arms in place, my body slightly elevated from hers. I know if I go any further I won’t be able to stop myself. And this isn’t how I plan to have our first time. I kiss her until I can’t take it anymore. Then I push myself off and sit up, willing my body to stay calm.

She exhales
and sits up too pushing her hair out of her face. Her cheeks are flushed, and her lips are swollen and red. A look of sheer desire passes over her features and she scoots toward me. I know I should back away, but I can’t. She clamps her mouth over mine while her hands work their way under my shirt. Her fingertips slide across my chest, and they’re so soft it feels like silk. When her hands move down toward my pants, I grab them in an effort to stop her. If she touches me, it’ll be over. I only have so much self control.

“What?” She pulls away from me, searching my eyes. “Why did you stop me?”

“I told you, Star. I want to take things slow.”

“Don’t you want me?” She sticks her bottom lip out in a pout.

“Of course. More than anything.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Her tone is hard, her eyes narrowed.

“Star, I don’t want our first time to be in the middle of a dirty field.” I wink at her. “Believe me, I have big plans for us. Roses, scented candles, a bubble bath, the works.” Her lips start to quiver, and I see moisture in her eyes. “Hey.” I reach up and graze her cheek with my hand. “What’s going on with you? Why does this bother you so much?”

She stares at me for a minute, biting her lip. Then slowly she opens her mouth. “
Do you want to know why Lola is so protective of me? It’s because she thinks I need someone to take care of me. Like without her I would have no social life at all. And I guess she’s kind of right. I was homeschooled up until freshman year. I begged my parents to let me go to high school, and they reluctantly agreed.  I met Lola at the first party I ever went to freshman year. It was supposed to be a date. I had a huge crush on this boy named Jared from my math class. He asked if I wanted to hang out one Saturday night and I said yes. He ended up taking me to a party. I didn’t drink, but he did and pretty soon he was all over me. I got scared. I’d never even kissed a boy before. I didn’t want to go any further but he kept pushing himself on me. Lola was there and saw the whole thing. She intervened and got Jared to leave me alone. Ever since then she’s made it her goal in life to help me.”

“
Okay.” I grab her hand and weave her fingers through mine. “I still don’t get what this has to do with me.”

“I’ve only gone out with two boys my entire life – Jared and Spencer. Jared wanted nothing to do with me after that party. He spread a rumor around school about me being nothing but a tease. Then Spencer and I went out for two years, but he ended up cheating on me because I wouldn’t have sex with him. He said that guys have needs and he had to satisfy that somewhere.”

Now I get it.
“Star, those guys were idiots. Trust me. I’ve been with a lot of girls.”

“I know, and that’s why
—”

“No, let me finish,” I silence her. “
I’m not proud of that fact, believe me. Now that I’ve met you I wish I hadn’t used girls the way I did. But you know what, Star? Those girls aren’t the ones I’m with right now. I’m here with you. And I don’t want you to have sex with me because you’re afraid if you don’t I’ll leave you. That’s not how it is with us.” I lean in and kiss her softly on the lips. “I want you to see yourself the way I see you.”

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, Star. You always think you have to prove yourself, but you don’t. You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met. I wish you could see that.”

She smiles. “You really think I’m amazing?”

“Figures that’s the part you’d cling to.” I curl my lips upward.

“I think you’re pretty amazing too.”

“Well, who doesn’t?” I tease, nudging her.

“At least you’re humble about it.” She grins.

“So, what do you say, Star? Can we do this my way now?” I ask her.

She nods. “Yeah. Besides, I can’t wait for the roses and scented candles. Who knew you were such a romantic?”

I lean into her, brushing my lips against her skin. “I can’t wait to show you just how romantic I can be.”

It’s been two weeks since Star and I started dating, and I feel more comfortable with her than I’ve ever felt with anyone in my life. Ryker always teased me that one day I’d meet someone who would reform me, but I always told him he was crazy. I never thought a girl could change me like this. But then again, I’ve never met anyone like Star before.

“So tell me.” Star leans into me, bumping her cheek on my shoulder. It’s Friday night and we’re hanging at my apartment, lounging on my couch and eating Chinese takeout. “What should I expect tomorrow?”

I kiss her swiftly on the mouth. “You should expect to be the hottest chick at the festival.”

She giggles against my lips
.  “Well, of course. But other than that?”

I sit back against the couch cushions. “It’s gonna be rockin’. There will be a lot of bands, music playing all day, food vendors out, people everywhere.”

“Do a lot of people come?” Star’s face pales.

I grasp her hand. “You don’t need to be nervous. You’re gonna be great, trust me.”

“You sound like Lola.”

“I knew there had to be something
good about her,” I say sourly.

“C’mon, she’s not that bad.”

“She acts like she’s your freaking bodyguard or something.”

“I explained that.”

“Still. You’re both grown-ups now. She needs to back off a little,” I say.

Star bites her lip. “I know. I’ve been meaning to talk to her about it.”

“You said yourself that you’re not that shy girl you were in high school.” I bend toward her. “And I can vouch for that. You’re one of the bravest girls I know.”

“Oh, stop.” She waves my words away.

“You are. I know you can’t see that, but I can.” I touch her face. “Think about how you stood up to the band a couple weeks ago. Not to mention all the times you put me in my place.”

“That’s different. I’m comfortable with you guys.”

“You haven’t always been.” I tip her face to look at me. “And you sing in front of crowds of people all the time. You’re braver than you give yourself credit for.”

“I hope that’s true tomorrow.”

“It will be. I believe in you.”

I brush my lips against hers, softly.
She moans and then presses her mouth firmly to mine, her tongue licking across my bottom lip. Growling against her mouth, I grab her around the waist and crush her to me. I stick my tongue into her mouth and swirl it around, tasting her. My fingers tangle in her hair, while hers rake up my back. I hear the door pop open from over my shoulder.

“Whoa, sorry,” Tate’s voice rings out.

I push away from Star and peer up at Tate. “Hey, man. Next time knock.”

“I’m not knocking before walking into my own apartment,” Tate counters, closing the door behind him. “You have your own room, you know?”

“Maybe Star and I like the couch better.” I raise my eyebrow.

Tate just laughs as he makes his way over to the recliner and plops down into it. “Hey, Star.” He nods in her direction. “How do you put up with this guy?”