Starbridge (34 page)

"I do," she said, tears flooding her eyes. "I care. I guess maybe I'd gotten through so many dangers safely that I was getting careless about taking risks. Maybe I needed to be reminded that I'm as mortal as anyone."

"Yeah, 'mortal' was almost the word, all right," he said bitterly. "And Dhurrrkk'

and I almost paid the price for your recklessness."

Mahree felt a flare of indignation. "I
said
I was sorry, Rob! I think you're overreacting. I
could
have died, but the fact is, I didn't. Why are you going on like this?"

He sat perfectly still, head bowed, shoulders taut, for long seconds, then he looked up. "Because I love you, dammit," he said softly. "And if you had died . . ."he trailed off, unable to finish.

Mahree gazed at him numbly. Her heart felt as though it needed a jolt from the pacer to get it started again.
Don't be stupid,
she thought, finally.
He just
means "love" in the way I love Dhurrrkk'. Don't make a fool of yourself . . .

She had to wet her lips before she could produce any sound. "Love?" she said faintly. "What do you mean, 'love'?"

Rob's expression was a study in mingled exasperation and affection. "Love as in, 'I've fallen in love with you,' what else?"

This can't be happening. Not to me.
"You're kidding."

"Would I kid about that? Hell no, I'm not kidding."

215

She stared at him, stunned. Her shock must have been evident, for he crawled over to put an arm around her. "Hey, I guess I shouldn't have dropped it on you like that. Actually, I've felt that way for some time, but I only realized it yesterday, when I thought about what losing you would mean."

He peered at her face in the dimness. "This was a helluva shock, wasn't it?

Maybe I shouldn't have said anything," he muttered, sounding increasingly nervous. "Uh, listen, Mahree, I don't expect ... uh ..." He cleared his throat.

"What I'm trying to say, is ... oh, damn . . . that ... I know you don't . . . well, that . . ."

Mahree began to shake all over. "Rob," she managed to say between chattering teeth, "Be
quiet!!"

He dropped his arm. "Look, I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

"I'm dazed ... or something," Mahree managed to whisper. "Oh, Rob . . . can too much happiness be fatal?" Summoning up all her courage, she slid her arms around his neck and leaned her forehead against his shoulder, enunciating each word precisely: "I love you, too. I have loved you since the first moment I saw you, when I bypassed security and watched your personnel interview vidrecord."

"Oh," he said, sounding surprised, then his chest heaved with a long sigh of relief. He gathered her into his arms, holding her.

"Look at me," he ordered, minutes later, his breath warm on her cheek. "I want to see your face when you say it."

Mahree raised her head. "I ... I love you, Rob," she whispered, then she smiled incredulously. "It was hard, saying it out loud, after concentrating all this time on not saying it."

"Why didn't you?"

She chuckled. "What do you think I am? Crazy? You treated me like a kid sister, remember?"

He smiled. "Oh, yeah. I forgot. What an asshole I was." His smile broadened into a grin. "I think that's when I first began to fall in love with you."

"When?"

"When you called me an asshole. Even though I tried not to, I couldn't help seeing you as a woman from that moment on . . ."

Mahree began to laugh. "Don't laugh," he said dryly.

"Why not?"

"Because I want to kiss you, and it's difficult getting up the nerve to kiss a woman who's laughing at you."

216

Mahree stopped immediately.

Rob turned his head, and their lips met. His mouth was warm and gentle against hers, and after a moment she relaxed and closed her eyes.

Gradually, he become more demanding, parting her lips, softly at first, then more insistently. Mahree made a small, inarticulate sound as his tongue touched hers, sending a jolt of pleasure through her body.

By the time he drew away they were both breathing heavily, only partly because of the thin air. "I didn't know ..." she murmured. "I didn't know it would be like that. I didn't know I could feel like this."

His dark eyes never left her face as his fingertips traced the line of her jaw, then her lips, using the lightest of-touches. Mahree closed her eyes again as he stroked the contours of her throat. "Are you going to make love to me?"

she whispered. "I want you to."

She heard Rob suck in an exasperated breath, then he abruptly pulled away. Mahree opened her eyes to find him sitting at arm's length from her, wearing a most peculiar expression--rueful and resigned and tender, all at the same time. "I wish I could," he muttered. "Nothing would please me more."

"Then why not?" she demanded, puzzled and a little indignant. "You've got an implant, don't you?"

"Of course," he said. "But ... Mahree ... sex requires a fair amount of physical exertion. Even if I thought I could ... uh ... perform ... here"--he waved an arm at
Rosinante's
cramped bridge--"which I'm not sure I could, worrying about whether Dhurrrkk' would walk in at any moment, delighted to have the chance to observe human mating practices ..." He gave a gasp of choked laughter. "The bottom line, my love, is that we don't have enough damned oxygen. We can't afford to waste that much air!"

217

Comforts

I'm nervous as a cat and dirty as a pig--but none of that matters, because Rob loves me! I can't believe how lucky I am! And soon, we'll be at our destination. Dhurrrkk' says we'll be in visual range of Shassiszss in about thirty minutes.

The suspense is terrible! Will the Mizari welcome us? Or will they decide it's in their best interest to side with the Simiu? What will the other CLS

members think of the human race?

Could we be in danger? All of a sudden, I'm scared . . .

By its own request, Doctor Blanket is locked in the hydroponics lab. The Avernian wanted to enter what it calls a "resting state" for the next four or five days, so it could assimilate its new knowledge. From the moment that it crawled up onto its plants, it became completely unresponsive to thoughts or touches. Its glow faded away. If it hadn't warned us ahead of time, I'd have thought it was dead.

Even though it's been long, hard, and painful, I wouldn't have missed this trip. I've learned a lot.

Before I left Jolie, I was always trying to act adult, and I fretted constantly that people wouldn't think I was grownup. But now that I know that I'm a fully mature human being, I've quit worrying about it.

218

(When I expressed some of this to Rob, he said that was a tremendous relief to him. If I weren't an adult, he announced, too solemnly, he'd have to give me up because aboard
Rosinante he
feels like he's eighty--always short of breath, chilled, and peering at things.)

Mizari verb conjugations keep running through my head like a litany.

Only minutes to go, now . . .

"Holy shit!" Rob exclaimed.
"That's
a space station? It makes Station One look like a postage stamp, Dhurrrkk'!"

Both the Simiu and Mahree turned to regard him, puzzled. "Postage stamp?"

they said, together.

The doctor shrugged. "Sorry. An ancient method of mail delivery. My father's got a collection handed down from before the First Martian Colony."

Dhurrrkk' was still puzzled. "But what does your father need with a collection of elderly males?" he asked, clearly baffled.

Mahree snickered loudly, and Rob gave her a disgusted glance. "I was referring to something about
this
big." He measured off a space between thumb and forefinger.

"Most interesting," Dhurrrkk' murmured, giving Mahree a sometimes-humans-are-crazy look.

"At any rate," she said, before Rob could dig himself in deeper, "you're right.

That station is really
huge."

The structure was a gigantic circular blot against the pale yellow- green disk of Shassiszss. It consisted of two vast, spoked wheelwithin-wheel-within-wheel shapes, each placed at right angles to the other. "Like a tremendous gyroscope," Mahree breathed.

From the amount of the planet it obscured, it was obvious the station was gargantuan, but it wasn't until Mahree noticed one of the amber, hammerheaded Simiu craft approaching it that she got any true perspective on its size.
Thousands and thousands of people could live on that thing,
she thought.
Maybe hundreds of thousands.

"It is indeed very large," Dhurrrkk' was saying. "Holovids do not convey the true scale. But, as the headquarters of the CLS, that station houses many different representatives, their staffs, and their vehicles. As well as the headquarters for all CLS functions, such as the League Irenics--those who safeguard the peace and the laws that are made by the member worlds."

219

"That
structure is the actual headquarters?" Rob asked. "But I thought it would be on the planet."

"Oh, no," Dhurrrkk' told them. "It is much more practical to employ an orbiting body as CLS headquarters. Many races require lesser gravity, and such conditions are easier to create in space, as you know, than on the surface of a world."

"Yes," said Rob, "and there's always fear of a possible mutation of an alien microbe. Quarantines are easier in space."

The Simiu glanced again at the space station, steadily looming closer. "Also, there is a symbolic value in having the fundamental structure of the headquarters sunk into the soil of no world, but floating free in space."

"I just can't believe the
size
of it," Rob said. "Was it deliberately designed and built to be this large?"

"Oh, no," Dhurrrkk' said. "Originally, there was only that central disk that now forms the innermost hub of the station. When the CLS was formed, the Mizari donated their station as a base from which to begin League headquarters.

Financial support from many worlds gradually built this structure you see now."

The Simiu swung himself into his pilot's cradle, preparatory to overseeing and assisting the functioning of the computers that were bringing
Rosinante
closer and closer to her assigned berth.

The tension in the little control room mounted as their vessel was allowed to proceed to her designated docking cradle without escort or hindrance.

When they were safely docked, Dhurrrkk' crawled out of his cradle with a sigh.

"Dhurrrkk'," Mahree said, speaking Simiu slowly, so that Rob could follow her words, "do you think we might be in any danger?"

"I very much doubt it," Dhurrrkk' said. "You two are representatives of a hitherto undiscovered sentient species--as such, you and your world represent a potential treasure trove of new talent, resources, technology, and ideas to the CLS. They will safeguard your lives with extreme care."

"Dhurrrkk'," Mahree said, around a cold lump that seemed to have congealed in her throat, "I was talking about all three of us, and you knew it.

Give me a straight answer."

"I do not know, FriendMahree. I am now a criminal--a thief and a liar. Those are serious offenses, for which I might spend several years serving the public good, until I could regain my

220

honor. Being dishonored and outcast by my family would be bad enough, but also . . ."he hesitated, "the Council will regard me as a traitor, and the penalties for treason are much more severe."

"How severe?"

Dhurrrkk' was silent.

"He might have to face a professional gladiator in the Arena." Rob said, in halting Simiu. He switched to English. "Rhrrrkkeet mentioned that might happen to her.'' He ran a hand through his hair, frowning. "But it might never come to that ..."

"What do you mean?" Mahree asked.

"Dhurrrkk' is the only CLS citizen who has sided openly with us ... who knows the full truth of what has happened. It might be in the best interests of the Simiu Council for him to meet with an unfortunate accident. Or simply disappear."

Fear enclosed Mahree's heart like a cage of ice. "Simiu wouldn't do that,"

she protested. "It would be too dishonorable."

"There are Simiu, like that gladiator Hekkk'eesh, who act as little more than professional assassins, remember?"

"Dhurrrkk', is what he's suggesting possible?"

"I honestly do not know, FriendMahree," the Simiu said.

Mahree envisioned a contingent of Simiu waiting outside
Rosinante's
airlock, and her throat tightened. "Dhurrrkk'," she said impulsively, her mind racing, "why don't you just let Rob and me go out there by ourselves? You can just take off again as soon as we're gone! You've got plenty of food, and Doctor Blanket can provide you with oxygen indefinitely. Why don't you just get away while you can?"

"You are forgetting fuel, FriendMahree," the Simiu said, his violet eyes bleak.

"But surely you could get fuel in some other nearby system. You told us that the Mizari S.V. drive is standard for most CLS worlds! Have you got any League currency?"

"Some," Dhurrrkk' said, "but what you are suggesting is impossible, my friend. We do not have enough fuel left to allow even one transition from realspace to metaspace. There is no way around that lack."

Mahree sighed. "Oh. That's that, then, isn't it?" she muttered. "But, FriendDhurrrkk', I'm afraid for you!"

Dhurrrkk' nodded. "I knew what consequences I might face." He stripped off his makeshift robe. "Come, let's go."

The alien turned and left the control room, his four-footed

221

strides somehow shortened and tentative, leaving the two humans to stare after him. Mahree shook her head as she pulled off her own robe and straightened her travel-worn clothing. "Dammit, Rob," she burst out, "if they're out there waiting for Dhurrrkk', they'll just
take
him! We may never see him again!"

"I know," he agreed, picking up his bag.

"Can't we ... fight, or something?"

"Simiu are the wrong height for a fistfight," Rob pointed out as they walked down the corridor toward the airlock.