Starting Over (19 page)

Caspar hadn't understood either her passionate reaction or her argument then and he didn't now.

'It's taking away their natural character,' Olivia had protested. 'Remaking them, Caspar, and that will make them feel that they aren't good enough, that they have to be perfect to be worthy of being loved and I don't want that for them.'

'For God's sake, Livvy, we're talking about fixing their teeth, that's all,' he had exploded in exasperation.

'I
THOUGHT
you said it was over....'

Molly's comment caught Caspar off guard, making him change colour defensively.

'How did you know—?' he began and then stopped.

'I'm thirty-four,' Molly responded dryly, 'and I guess that's more than old enough to be able to recognise when a married man is thinking about his wife.'

'Actually, I was thinking about my daughters,' Caspar corrected her. 'Now, about this Italian...'

'COME ON
, Jen, we're going to be late,' Jon exhorted.

'David said to be there for three and it's gone that now.'

Jenny shook her head. She hadn't wanted to go to David and Honor's party in the first place and she had told Jon so.

'Not go! We've
got
to go. David is my brother.'

'Yes, and he's also Livvy and Jack's father,' Jenny had reminded him simply. 'How do you think they're going to feel, especially Livvy when she hears about this baby?'

'Jen, Livvy is an adult,' Jon had expostulated. 'David's invited her and the girls.'

'She won't go,' Jenny told him positively.

'Do
YOU THINK
she will come?' David asked Honor anxiously. There was no need for Honor to question who the 'she' was he was referring to.

'Don't get your hopes up too high,' she advised him gently.

'Oh, God, Honor, I just wish... I wanted to tell her myself...before...before anyone else...to make it something special we could share—just as you did with Abigail and Ellen.'

Honor smiled sadly as she listened to him. The relationship she had with her daughters was a world away from the one David had with his, but even they had expressed shock and in Ellen's case, almost outright hostility to the news that she, their mother, was to have a child.

'But have you thought of the danger, the risks to both yourself and the baby?' Ellen had demanded practically, 'As an older mother...'

Abigail had reminded her sister, 'Don't forget, Mum knows a lot more about having babies than we do.

After all, she's had both of us.'

'Yes, but that was over twenty years ago,' Ellen had pointed out acerbically.

Now that she was over her initial shock, though, she had apologised for her original hostility.

If her daughters, who knew how much she loved them, could both feel slightly threatened and upset about the news that she and David were to have a child, then how on earth was Olivia going to feel?

It grieved Honor, not just that their child should be born into such a situation but that the birth of a child which should be such a joyful and hopeful event should be the cause of unhappiness and pain.

She had discussed the matter with Father Ignatius whilst they had been working together in the still room. She loved using the old-fashioned word to describe the room where she stored her herbs and made up her remedies with its connotations of mediaeval times and the skills of its herbalists.

'I just wish there was a herbal I could make for Olivia that would help her,' she had exclaimed ruefully.

'The answer to Olivia's ailment surely lies within herself,' the priest had responded. When Honor had looked questioningly at him, he explained, 'Her father's love is there for her and his sorrow and regret for the pain of her past, but David cannot force them on her, he can only offer them to her.'

.. and if Olivia continues to refuse to accept them?'

Honor had asked him.

Father Ignatius had sighed and shaken his head. 'If she does, and I am very much afraid she might, then both she and David will continue to suffer.'

And now, here she was, compounding that suffering for Olivia with the child she was carrying.

Honor's hand went to her stomach—still flat as yet—her pregnancy might have been unexpected and unplanned but her baby was already a source of great joy to her.

OLIVIA WASN'T
going to come. David knew.

'We can't stay too long,' Jon was saying. 'Jenny's on grandparent duties tonight at Queensmead.'

Grandparent. He,
too,
was a grandparent, a grandfather, just like Jon but he doubted that his granddaughters even knew he existed.

As he took a sip of his drink he studied the room.

The priest, predictably perhaps, was chatting with Ben and Freddy. Honor was laughing at something Jon was saying to her. They had deliberately kept the numbers down, just immediate family.

'JENNY
!' David exclaimed warmly as he walked into the kitchen and saw his sister-in-law there.

'I'm glad you could come. It means a lot to Honor.

I know how busy you are at the moment with everything. I just wish that Livvy could have brought herself to come.'

'Livvy can't go anywhere,' Jenny told him quietly.

'She's got two children to look after, she's working full-time and she doesn't have a husband to help and support her.'

'Do you really mean Livvy can't go anywhere?' David asked Jenny quickly.

'Surely you must be aware of the problems she's having,' Jenny insisted. 'Jon
must
have told you. Normally
I'd
help but... Jon's told Livvy to take as much time off work as she needs but, of course, she won't....

She's been trying to find the right kind of help...a nanny...although it's proving hard. But why am I telling you this, David?
You're
her father. You should
know,
but you don't care, do you? All you care about is your
new
life.'

'Jenny!' The horror in Jon's voice shocked Jenny into silence. She hadn't heard him come into the kitchen but there was no mistaking the anger and chagrin in his expression as he turned to David and started to apologise.

'It's all right, Jon,' David soothed him. 'And Jenny
does
have a point, even if she is wrong about one thing. I
do
care about both Jack and Livvy, Jenny, and I care very much.'

David was still frowning. Jenny's outburst had shocked him but nowhere near as much as the information she had given him about Olivia. He had known things weren't very good for her, of course, but Jenny's words had painted a picture of someone so totally alone and isolated that he had immediately felt the strongest urge to do something to help and protect her. Flesh of his flesh...his daughter...his child. David closed his eyes. He had to do something...he must....

'JENNY
, how could you speak to David like that?' Jon asked in bewilderment as they drove home having taken Ben back to Queensmead first, both of them sitting in a mutually hostile silence as they waited to be alone to vent their true feelings.

'Like what? I simply told him the truth,' Jenny defended herself. 'There he is celebrating the conception of another child when poor Livvy...'

Jon frowned. If he hadn't known better he might almost have suspected that Jenny was jealous of Honor and David and the baby they were expecting.

'HONOR
, I've been thinking, about this problem that Livvy is having finding someone to help with the children. Well, I've got plenty of spare time and they are my grandchildren. Since Jenny can't help her...' David's voice trailed away as he saw the way Honor was looking at him.

'You don't think it's a good idea,' he guessed dis-heartened.

'I think it's an
excellent
idea,' Honor assured him.

'But I doubt that Olivia will.'

'It's worth going to see her and offering to help,'

David told her eagerly. 'This could be the break-through I've been looking for, Honor, a way of showing Livvy,
proving
to her how much I regret... And I want to see her, anyway,' he added gruffly. 'I owe it to her and to...him or her, whichever it turns out to be,' he smiled as he touched her stomach gently, 'To tell her about our baby myself.

'You don't want me to do it, do you?' he asked her quietly when he saw her expression.

'I don't want you to be disappointed or...or hurt,'

Honor countered. 'I know how much it would mean to you to mend the rift between you, David, and I know, too, how much Olivia needs to have that rift mended even if she herself won't admit how much she needs the healing that forgiving you and herself will give her.' She paused and sighed. 'But I just don't feel that she's ready yet.'

'You're a wonderful woman—have I ever told you that?' David whispered as he kissed her. 'I understand what you're saying, Honor,' he acknowledged when she smiled. 'But I'm still going to try. From a practical point of view, if nothing else, Livvy needs help and, after all, I am her father. I'll go and see her tomorrow.

It's Sunday and she won't be at work. You must curse me sometimes for bringing you so many family problems.'

'Your family is nowhere near as problem-driven and

-riddled as mine,' Honor told him with a grin.

Leaning over, she kissed his forehead and then his nose, sighing in soft pleasure as he drew her down against him.

'Is this all right?' he asked her in a whisper, brush-ing his fingertips against her stomach. 'I mean...'

'It's fine,' Honor assured him. Making love with David wasn't going to damage or harm their baby, but at some stage she would have to take the decision whether or not to have the kind of tests that could potentially do so. As an older mother it was sensible to check that everything was progressing well for the baby. But right now she didn't want to think about that. Right now she simply wanted to enjoy what there was...what she had in the here and now...right now....

'Mmm...that feels good,' she told David huskily as he stroked her breast, snuggling closer to him as she whispered, 'Do it again....'

SARA SMILED
happily to herself. It was her day off and she was on her way to the exclusive health and golf complex near Chester where Frances and her family were members to spend the day at their expense enjoying the spa's facilities.

'It's the least we can do after the terrific job you've done for us with the paperwork,' Frances had assured her.

And so here she was armed with Frances's careful directions, making her way through the pretty Cheshire countryside.

Along with her derogatory and unflattering comments about the Crighton family, Tania had been equally unenthusiastic about their home town, con-demning it as a dull country backwater, but Sara had found it to be anything but and Tania had neglected to mention the town's historic past.

Just as soon as she could, Sara had promised herself that she would explore the town's environs, walking the route of its ancient walls, visiting the salt mine museum and the castle; but today she was content to be in her car on her way to her destination.

Frances had raved about the club's beauty treatment facilities whilst her husband had been equally enthusiastic about its golf courses.

'You'll love the swimming pool, and the restaurant is pretty good as well.'

'But not as good as yours, of course,' Sara had responded with a grin.

'Of course not,' Frances had laughed back.

And now here she was turning in at Camden Park's gates and driving down the curving drive that mean-dered through the greens.

Smiling a little ruefully to herself she pulled up her small car in a car park which seemed to be full of top-of-the-range BMWs, four-wheel drives, Jaguars and Mercedes—had no one in Cheshire heard of compact cars?

The spa's receptionist, though, couldn't have been more pleasant or helpful, inviting Sara to choose from a range of options available from the beauty treatment rooms.

Having made her choice, a long luxurious massage and a facial, Sara decided to use the time beforehand with a healthy, invigorating swim.

The pool area was as luxurious as Frances had said, its walls painted with Italian frescoes. A long columned arcade led to the Jacuzzi and steam room and the human beings adorning the area were equally as decorative as the backdrop, Sara acknowledged as she studied the women in their obvious designer leisure wear, their menfolk... Suddenly she froze. There, standing at the opposite end of the pool, thankfully so deep in conversation with his female companion that he was unaware of her presence, was Nick Crighton.

She had been right about one thing, she decided shakily. His body
was
every bit as sexily male and muscular as she had imagined, his skin sleekly brown and still damp from his swim. Sara could hear the woman laughing at something he had said to her as he shook the water from his hair, a soft deliciously feminine sound that matched her appearance.

Enviously Sara discreetly studied her. She was tall, possibly even six foot, Sara recognised, with a tiny waist and firm curves which her swimsuit revealed subtly rather than clinging to it in any obvious kind of way. Her hair was clipped up but Sara guessed that it might be long—and whoever she was, it was obvious to Sara that she and Nick Crighton knew each other very well. When she lifted her hand and placed it on Nick's arm, he moved closer to her. A white-hot sheet of envy enveloped Sara, shocking her with the explicitness of the message it carried.
She
wanted to be the one who was touching Nick. She wanted—

Nick was walking away from the woman now and diving cleanly into the pool. Compulsively Sara watched him as he swam. A strong powerful crawl took him easily down the length of the Olympic-size pool, each movement clean and strong, droplets of water glinting on his bare arm as he raised it. A scar, old and silvery, made a jagged line on his upper arm. Sara winced as she saw it—how had it happened? A sensation of sweet hot weakness poured through Sara's body like a dark forbidden narcotic. She wanted to go to him, hold him, touch him, be held and touched by him. She wanted to lick the droplets of water from his skin, cling to him, wrapping herself around him. She wanted...