Starting Point (21 page)

I scoffed at his compliment. “Right.”

He pulled back and looked at me seriously. “Can’t you see what you’re doing? And how good it is?”

“I’m just helping out some kids, that’s all.”

“Matt, you should give yourself credit,” he said with a quick peck to my lips. “You’re the first to run yourself down, but the last to acknowledge something positive.”

“I thought humility was a good personality trait,” I said with a smile.

Kira shook his head at me then turned to the hallway Claude would soon be coming out from. He whispered, “Now I know we talked before about no fooling around when there was kids here, but maybe tonight we could…”

“Make an exception?” I added.

“Bend the rule a little,” he clarified. “Because the way you kissed me just now…”

“The way I kissed you? I think it was the way you kissed me.”

Claude walked out to the living room, wearing my old T-shirt, which came to her knees, and a towel around her hair.

“Oh, hey, squirt,” I said, standing up. “We’ll get you settled in, and we’re going to bed too, okay?”

She nodded. “Okay.” Her voice was quiet.

She sat on the sofa, and as I flicked the blanket out to cover her, she laid her head on the pillow. I picked up the remote control, but she asked, “Can you leave the TV on?” She was staring at the screen and her voice was tiny. I don’t think she liked the idea of sleeping without knowing where Ruby was. Having him disappear into the night was becoming more frequent, and poor Claude was left alone, again. If the TV was a comfort, then who was I to deny her that?

“‘Course I can,” I said. I flicked through some channels until I found some cartoons, turned the volume down a bit. “If you need anything, you just give a yell, okay? Or you can knock on our door, okay?”

She nodded and continued to stare at the screen. Her blinks were getting longer and her eyelids were getting heavier.

“Night, Claude,” Kira said. “See you bright and early.” Kira looked at me then and signed, “I’ll go shower.”

I nodded. “Okay,” I signed back. “I’ll just wait until she closes her eyes.” I went into the kitchen and pretended to be busy, and four minutes later her little eyelids were closed. I left the TV on and went into the bathroom.

Kira was almost finished in the shower, but I stepped in behind him. “My turn,” I said, turning us around so I was under the water. I ran the soap over my body and Kira followed the streaming water with kisses to my heated skin along my shoulder and neck.

“In here?” I asked gruffly. “Or the bedroom?”

“Bedroom,” was all he said.

I shut the water off, and Kira handed me a towel, which I quickly dried myself with and wrapped around my waist. After we walked out of the bathroom, Kira headed left to our bedroom, but I went right and with a last, quick check on Claude, I quickly tiptoed back to our room. “Just checked on her. She’s sound asleep.”

Kira, who was in bed, naked, said, “And if she wasn’t? You’re dripping wet, wearing nothing but a towel.”

I looked down at myself. “Oh, I didn’t really think of that,” I admitted with a laugh. I closed the door gently, hearing the quiet click of the latch and threw my towel on the floor. “Now, what did you say about bending rules?”

“That depends,” he said. I could tell he was smiling when he spoke, even in the dark. “How quiet do you think you can be?”

I knelt on the bed and crawled up over his body, kissing up his legs as I went. “Maybe you should put something in my mouth to shut me up.”

* * * *

Kira served Claude cereal, fruit and yogurt for breakfast, much to her protest over pancakes, but she still ate everything he put in front of her.

So with clean clothes, a full tummy and a backpack full of crackers and fruit, we took Claude back to the FC. As we drove, I had a sickening feeling in my gut that Ruby wouldn’t be there, that he’d never be seen or heard from again, just another street-kid statistic.

But as we walked into the FC, he was there waiting for her. Arizona had opened up and was already in a session with one of his clients so I didn’t interrupt to say hello as we walked into my office.

Ruby gave Claude a hug then looked up at me and Kira. “Thanks so much, man. I really owe you.”

“Did you do whatever it was you had to do?” I asked.

He gave a single nod as his answer, and after Claude had told him all about dinner and dessert, I asked for a minute alone with Ruby.

“She was worried about you,” I told him. “It scares her to be without you.”

“She’s safe with you,” he said. “I’m with her almost every night, it’s just some nights I can’t be and then she’s better off not being alone on the streets, ya know?”

“I do,” I told him. But it was time for the hard truths. “Rueben, listen to me. Those two guys will see you nothing but dead, you hear? I don’t care what they offer you, what they say they can do for you or give you, I’m telling you, it’s a one way street.”

He nodded as though he understood, but I don’t think he understood at all. “You’ve got a session with Arizona today,” I reminded him. “And you need to finish your schoolwork with me. Boss said one fuck up and you’re out,” I told him, not caring about the language. It seemed this kid needed to hear it straight. “You know what I mean, Rube? Don’t waste this chance.”

He nodded again, but at least this time he seemed to listen to what I was saying. “Yeah.”

“I gotta go right now,” I told him. “But I’ll be back after lunch and I’ll have about an hour or so spare to help you. But you need to be here, and you need to want this, okay?”

Ruby nodded again. “I do want this.”

“Good,” I said, giving him a clap on the shoulder. “But if I were you, I’d get the session with Arizona out of the way first. He’s not one to piss off.”

Ruby gave me a half smile.

“We packed some food in Claude’s bag. Have something to eat. Then go get dressed and see what Arizona has planned for you today,” I told him. “I’ll see you after lunch.”

I left him to it and had a quick word to Arizona on our way out. “You right here?” I asked.

“Sure. Boss is out back and Cody’ll be here in five. Where are you two off to?”

“Going to check out some housing options.”

Arizona’s eyes widened. “Who for?”

“Ruby and Claude.”

The big man smiled and shook his head. “You guys up for citizens of the year awards or somethin’?”

I laughed. “We should be. At least it might get Claude off our sofa.”

Arizona’s smile strained and he shook his head. “Oh, man.”

I gave him a smile. “I’ll be back after lunch.”

And with that, Kira and I left the FC and went in search of some place warm and safe for two homeless kids to hopefully call home.

* * * *

“You both look a little tense,” Tamara said.

We’d just sat down across from her.

“Anything you’d like to discuss today?”

I couldn’t help but sigh. “There’s no tension between us,” I said. “It’s just that we went looking for alternative accommodation for some kids this morning, and the places we found weren’t exactly charming.”

“They were awful,” Kira said quietly.

I put my hand on his knee. “Yeah, they weren’t great.”

Kira shrugged. “But I guess it’s a better alternative than sleeping in a dumpster.”

“Are there not department authorities that could find placements?” Tamara asked.

“These two kids in particular don’t exactly trust government agencies,” I explained.

“Is this for Ruby and Claude?” she asked. “The two children you’ve mentioned?”

“Yes.”

“I’m sure we’ll find something,” Kira said, giving my hand a squeeze.

“They’ve been sleeping at our place,” I admitted. “Not every night, but some. I worry for them…”

“I know you do,” Tamara said.

“We called into the sportswear store before we came here. I was a bit hard on Ruby this morning, so I wanted to get something to make him feel good about what he’s trying to do. I just bought some gym shorts. They’re the MMA brand name, so he’ll think they’re pretty special.”

“Why were you hard on him?”

“He bailed last night, and left Claude with me. He said she’d be safer with us, which is true, but then he took off. I know he’s up to no good, and I’ve told him before that I’m pushing his case harder because I want him to get a scholarship, ya know? I want to give this kid a chance, and…” I sighed. “I don’t know… It’s disappointing, I guess.”

“You feel let down,” Tamara pre-empted.

“He’s just doing what he knows. He’s doing what he thinks it takes to stay alive on the streets. What I’m trying to do is the long, hard way and I guess to a thirteen-year-old street kid, who’s trying to look after his kid sister, it’s not soon enough.”

“You can’t make him,” Kira said. “As much as I wish we could.” Then he looked at Tamara. “They’re good kids, but there’s only so much we can do.”

Tamara looked at me. “Matt, as a police officer, what would you do if you encountered kids living on the street?”

I frowned at her. She knew damn well what I’d do, she just wanted me to say it out loud. “I’m not a police officer anymore.”

She stayed silent, waiting for me to answer her question.

“I’d notify welfare and social services,” I said quietly.

She nodded. “Why haven’t you done that for these kids? Would the department of social services or child welfare not be better equipped to deal with them?”

I shrugged. “Probably. But you know what? One sniff of a child welfare officer and these kids would disappear. They’d be nothing more than shadows in alleyways. At least this way they’re being a part of the community. At least this way they don’t think the world’s given up on them, forgotten about them.”

She was quiet for a long while, which usually meant she was getting the words right in her head before she dropped a bombshell. “Does the abandonment of these kids remind you of how you felt when your mother died?”

I blinked slowly, not really believing what I’d just heard. “What?”

“Do you feel there is a link between wanting to help these kids and you being a kid that was left alone when your mother died?”

“What? No,” I answered, probably a little louder than I should have. “Is that what you’ve been edging around these last few weeks?”

She tilted her head. “What do you mean?”

“Every time I mention these kids at the club, you look at me like you’re judging me. You want to know how I
feel
? I
feel
like I have to justify my reasons to you.”

“That was never my intention, Matt.”

“So we should just forget about the unfortunate street kids because we all have our own troubles, or we’re all too busy?” I shook my head. “That’s not good enough.”

Tamara smiled. “You’re a good man, Matt. That’s what made you a great policeman. You care about the people.”

“If I don’t care about these kids, then who will?”

“You’re not responsible for them. You can help them, but they’re not your direct responsibility.” Tamara’s voice was calm, as always.

“Is it not irresponsible of me not wanting to help at-risk kids?”

“Not at all. It’s a human condition to want to protect a child—”

“It’s not a condition!” I cried, unable to hold it in any longer. I got out of my chair and started to pace. “It’s not some over-psychoanalyzed predisposition! There’s no underlying reason, Tamara. I’m not doing this because my mother died, or to atone for any guilt, as much as you’d like to wrap it all up with a pretty psychiatrist bow, that’s not what this is. There’s no hidden agenda here. I don’t know what you call it in a textbook, but I’ll tell you what I call it in the real world. It’s called doing what’s right, damn it! It’s called being a human fucking being.”

“Matt,” Kira said softly, but with fair warning. He stood up and walked over to where I was at the window. “Why don’t you go for a walk…?”

“I don’t need to go for a walk,” I snapped at him. “I need—”

“You need to calm down,” he said quietly.

I ran my hands through my hair, and took a deep breath. “I am calm. But I’m also frustrated, and angry. I don’t think I should have to justify reasons for wanting to help another person. A kid, for that matter. I don’t need to go for a walk to calm down—”

“Matt,” Kira said, cutting me off mid-rant. “I’d like a moment with Tamara, please.”

That stopped me. I blinked in surprise. “Okay,” I said, almost in a whisper. I put my hand on his arm. “I’ll give you all the time you need.” I walked out, using every ounce of self-control I had not to pull the door off its fucking hinges.

How was a doctor so fucking cold? How could she not want to help another person? It was her fucking job!

How could someone just sit there and look for an ulterior motive when a child’s life hung in the balance?

I walked down the stairs out into the fresh air and took some deep breaths. I walked along the path, down to the parking lot then leaned against our car for as long as my temper would let me. After a few minutes, I shook my head as if to clear it and went back inside.

I took the stairs two at a time, and as I walked down the hall, I realised the door was slightly open, and I stopped. I could hear them talking. I almost pulled the door shut to give them their privacy, but heard Kira say my name.

“Matt’s very passionate about his work, and about changing the lives of these kids. It’s not just about drug awareness, but about education, and respect. And in a lot of ways, I think it’s more effective on a personal level for him than his work as a cop.”

“Do you think he misses being a policeman?” Tamara asked.

“To be honest, I think there are some days he might miss it, but generally speaking, no. I don’t.” Kira sighed. “Maybe if you came down one day and met these kids, you’d see what he’s trying to do,” Kira said. “He’s a good man. He has the kindest heart. I guess you just see a file full of every wrong he ever did, but he’s done an awful lot of right too.”

There was silence for a moment. “Ross Berkman is a friend of mine,” she said. “When he called me and asked if I’d take on a new client, he said it was a special case. He said this kid was one of the best people he knew, not just one of the best cops, but best people. He said he was almost like a son to him.”