Stay (6 page)

I looked around the quiet space. Leaving my perch on the bed, I went over to the window and gazed out into the setting sun. The lace curtain in my fingers somehow soothed me as I twisted the material between my thumb and finger. I watched the day turn to night while my mind drifted to what life could have been like if I had been anyone other than myself.

I daydreamed of a little girl with long, brown hair in a sundress, swinging on a backyard play set while her mother looked on, smiling, and her father cooked at the grill. Together, they blew bubbles, taking turns chasing them before moving on to a family game night, playing scrabble or some other game together. Then both of them read her a bedtime story and tucked her into a queen-sized, white canopy bed, covered in pink bedding.

Oh, if only
…

“Angel, how was your first day?” I heard Giano ask from the doorway, startling me.

Looking over my shoulder, I saw him leaning against my door jamb casually. His button-up shirt was open with three or four buttons undone, and his sleeves were rolled up to mid-forearm. He looked every bit the young businessman I expected him to be … at least, in my mind. The reality was that I knew nothing.

“I see you thinking hard. Care to share?” he asked, and I simply swallowed hard.

When I didn’t move and didn’t answer, he turned to leave.

Finding my voice, I called out to him, “Stay,” my voice coming out with a crack as the emotions won over me.

Without hesitation, he was back in the doorway; only, this time he entered the room and sat in the chair at the end of the bed like he did any time I asked him to stay. He smiled his Giano special smile as I stood still, twisting the curtain in my small fingers.

“Why do you look so surprised, angel? There are few things I would truly deny you.” I watched him as he changed his face to that of seriousness. “New life, little one. This is our new life.”

Something in that relaxed me, and I moved to the bed and climbed in. “What do you do for a living?” I asked one of the questions nagging at me as I eyed my stranger openly.

He laughed. “I’m a garbage man.” He said it so casually I started to believe it, but my face must have registered my shock since he obviously wore a business suit, and I had never thought about a garbage man wearing a suit. “I joke. I am what one might call a disposal specialist. I am in the business of removing people when their time is done.”

I cocked my head to the side, not understanding. “You fire people?”

“In a way, yes.” He looked away from me as he answered. “How was your day?” He brought us full circle, back to his original question.

“It was good. I am going to have to study a lot. Mrs. Williams said we will start tutoring next week.”

“No hang ups?” he questioned, and I knew he wanted reassurance I didn’t slip up.

“No, I kept quiet, and everything went fine.” And that was the complete truth about my day. I stayed to myself, and all was well. I was there for an education. I was there to pass the time until I grew up enough to be on my own.

“It’s getting late. You should get some sleep,” he commanded, and I felt the fatigue I’d had building from the day.

I nodded my head in agreement.

“Do you need me to stay?”

His genuine concern with me getting to sleep touched me like I had never felt before. Had anyone ever cared before if I was comfortable enough to go to sleep? No.

I shook my head, feeling once again settled in my new environment.

This was so wrong and yet so right for me at the same time. My life shouldn’t have begun the way it did, so I shouldn’t have been in a situation where I felt safer with a stranger than I ever had with my own flesh and blood.

Chapter Seven

One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi.

The smell of alcohol invaded my nose. He was over me, his weight pressing me into the mattress. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t move. I was suffocating, drowning, dying inside as the disgust washed over me.

His hand moved up my side, scrunching my nightgown as he roamed. The rough sensation of his fingertips gave me goose bumps. I kept my thighs closed together as he rocked over me.

“Feel me, Fallyn. Do you feel me? I need release, baby girl. You’ll give me that, won’t you, my girl?”

I wanted to vomit.

Fourteen Mississippi. Fifteen Mississippi.

I swallowed hard, trying not to puke all over him. His forehead dropped to my pillow beside my head, his breathing heavy, and I hoped with all my might he hadn’t passed out on top of me. He paused like that for what took me three more counts in my mind. Then his tongue darted out, and he licked my ear.

Don’t move,
I told myself. I fought the urge to wipe my now wet earlobe as he slid a hand between my legs, trying to push my thighs apart. Getting aggravated, he grunted before sitting up and roughly separating my legs then settling himself back over me.

“Greedy, greedy, girl. You’re gonna give me what I want.”

My insides screamed from his weight and from the fear of what was to
come.
It was going to burn. The sting was coming, and I was helpless to stop it. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to run until my legs couldn’t carry me anymore.

I blinked.

“There you are, pretty girl. I knew you would wake up and give me what I want.” Father smiled down at me, happy with me. This was the only time he was ever happy with me.

He rolled off me and to my side. Taking my hand, he sucked and bit each of my fingertips before guiding my hand down to his underwear where he slid my small hand up and down his length. He grew in my hand, swelling thicker and thicker with each stroke.

I blinked back my tears. Tonight, I failed. I didn’t stay calm enough. The fear of him on top of me instead of beside me won. Now I paid the price. Father had felt every inch of me and I, unfortunately, him. He had never put ‘it’ inside me, though, and that was my one reprieve. For a moment, I thought he was headed there tonight, and I lost control. I showed my truth. As a result, I knew sleep wouldn’t be found until he was finished.

He stopped me then moved to take off his underwear and shirt before climbing back into my bed. He slid his hand up my nightgown and pinched my nipple harshly. My underdeveloped breasts ached in pain from his attentions, and I cried out.

“Yes, Fallyn, feel me,” he whispered against my ear, his hot breathe making me squirm away from him. “That’s it,” he encouraged as I tried to still myself and stop reacting to all of it.

He moved his hand down, into my panties, and I tensed. His fingers were … right … there.

I screamed. And screamed. And screamed.

“Angel,” I hear my stranger’s voice, “wake up.”

I felt my father beside me. I couldn’t find Giano. I heard him, but I couldn’t find him.

Panic filled me as I looked over my father’s shoulder to where a man stood beside my bed.

Those eyes. Those familiar eyes.

I jerked up in the pink and white canopy bed I had come to call home, covered in sweat. I blinked and found Giano sitting on the bed beside me.

“It’s okay, angel. It was a nightmare. You’re safe.”

I relaxed and fell over, landing on his chest. Slowly, he wrapped an arm around me and rubbed my back as I fought to get my breathing under control. Thinking hard, I tried to figure out what had me so panicked, but my mind was blank.

“Wanna talk about it?” he asked.

I focused on trying to recall what had me so worked up. It was obvious I had a bad dream, but I didn’t remember it. I shook my head.

He pushed me back to my pillow and moved my hair off my face before he went to stand.

“Please stay,” I choked out as panic filled me at the thought of going back to sleep.

Without hesitation, he climbed into bed awkwardly beside me.

Calmly, he stroked my hair, and I found a way to slow my breathing, my thoughts, and eventually drifted back to sleep. Like before, he eventually moved me to my side, and he wrapped himself around me. Surrounded in his scent and safely in his arms, I found a dreamless slumber once again.

When I woke up, Giano was gone, but I felt well rested even after the nightmare had awakened me. What was it about him that gave me such peace?

Chapter Eight

One Year Later

I had begun the freshman year of high school as Angelina while my thirteen-year-old brain somewhat struggled with the concept of being a fourteen-year-old on the verge of womanhood. Life lessons had long since given me the maturity to pull off being far beyond my years, but genetics and my true age had left me underdeveloped compared to most of the girls at my school.

A new year as the new me gave me a chance to be a little more comfortable in Angelina’s skin. So far, the whole charade had gone off relatively smoothly, and I had even managed to make a couple of friends who, due to genetics, were just as flat-chested as me. Randi and I had literally bumped into each other during the first period of the first day. Leaving homeroom, I was in a tizzy from trying to remember how to get to the music hall for chorus class. Totally not paying attention, I slammed right into a tiny blonde, knocking her books right out of her hands. She laughed, which made me laugh, and we somehow in the craziness of the day started a new friendship.

Randi was a pixie of a girl. Short, skinny, no curves, she had short blonde hair she wore like a rock-star spiked up. Heavy on the makeup, she looked like a little fairy girl with a big attitude.

Along with Randi came Amanda, who asked that her friends call her Mandy. Apparently, the two had been friends since, like, birth—their words, not mine. I guessed their parents were longtime friends, and therefore, their relationship was a built-in best friend forever at conception. Who knew, but hey, it was two new friends for Angelina. This was what normal teenagers did—made friends.

Amanda was the harsher of the two. Randi was fun loving and full of life. She was quick to speak her mind, but never as an insult unless someone pissed her off. Amanda, on the other hand, was a snob. She looked down on everyone and everything except maybe Randi. Amanda had a serious need to fit in, so much so that she stuffed her bra so no one would know she was as flat as me and Randi.

Amanda was shaped like a pear with no top and a whole lot of bottom. She called it Kardashian butt; I called it curves. Whatever made her feel better. She definitely had her fair share of haters due to her attitude, but I liked Randi, and she came with Randi. We were fast becoming the three amigas. It felt normal, and that was something I could really use in my life.

The desire to be seen as normal was what led me to meeting the girls at the mall for some shopping and a pretzel, because everyone knew mall pretzels covered in cinnamon sugar were the absolute best. Who would have thought going for pretzels at the mall would end up almost costing us everything?

The morning had gone fine. I managed to pick up a handful of cute tops for school and a new pair of jeans. We were at the pretzel stand when it happened.

“What will it be for Princess Angelina Diamante?” Amanda joked when it was my turn to order.

She had called me a Princess since the day I had invited her to my house for the first time, and she had seen my overly girly bedroom that was my sanctuary. Even though Giano had offered to redecorate however I wanted, I liked the room just as it was. To me, it was a piece of the real Angelina I wasn’t ready to let go of, and I wasn’t so sure I ever would.

“Angelina? Is that you?” a female’s voice called out from behind me in line. Turning, I looked at the stranger as panic filled me. My friends seemed to sense the woman wanted my sole attention, so they quickly made their way to a table instead of waiting with me to finish talking to the stranger who evidently knew Angelina.

Swallowing hard, I nodded.

She reached out and grabbed me with both hands, pulling me into a tight hug. “Oh, you poor baby. I can’t believe how different you look. I knew the accident was bad, and you had to have surgery and recovery time, but you … you … You don’t even look like you in the face anymore. Only your hair reminds me of you and”—she gasped, and I felt wetness hit my cheeks—“and … Nylene.” She choked out the last word on a sob.

Pulling away, I looked up into her eyes and watched as the stranger cried. Fear seized me, and I stood frozen, unable to respond as the woman continued her breakdown.

The heavens were looking down on me that day because, before I could think of what to do next, Giano appeared by my side. He reached out and hugged the woman, holding her close until she calmed down.

“Alexandra, it’s been a while,” he softly said into her ear.

She pulled away and wiped her mascara-smeared eyes. “Giano, she’s beautiful. Nylene…” She hiccupped then exhaled loudly. “Nylene would be so proud.”

“Yes, she would,” Giano stated solemnly.

“I miss her. I miss them both,” she added, looking to me.

My stomach hurt as if I felt her pain and grief.

“I know you do. It’s been a hard time readjusting. My angel here has been through more than you know. We had to have time to heal, you know.”

“I understand,” Alexandra replied, nodding her head. She looked intently into Giano’s eyes as if they were having some sort of silent conversation. “Well, I must be going. I’m sorry to disturb your day.” Reaching out, she squeezed my hand then turned to walk away without a second glance back.

“Order your food, angel, and then I’m afraid we must be going,” Giano commanded, and I quickly followed direction, still unsure of what had just happened.

I hugged my friends’ good-bye after getting my pretzel. Giano carried my bags out, and then we silently made the ride home where he went directly to making dinner as I put my bags away.