Stay (16 page)

He had been nerv
ous the moment we walked inside, keeping me wrapped tightly against him until we made it backstage. No sooner had he deposited me than my instructions were given. “
Stay here, but try not to get too involved. If Jude corners you just remind him he owes me a favor
.” And then he was off to begin his guard duty.

I was good at being invisible, even when slightly perturbed over my beloved’s concerns.
At the moment, I was trying to answer my own questions of what was right and wrong. Until I knew the answer to that, I was not going to force Cain and Lissa back together.

As if I had summoned her, the diva herself appeared from the dressing room in a flurry of sequins and painted
-on glamour. Her dark curls had been clipped back and to the side by a bejeweled clasp, her lips painted red. She paused atop the steps a moment, clutching her stomach as her features contorted in pain. After gaining her composure she nodded to herself and lifted her emerald eyes. She sauntered past me, unseeing, and took in a deep breath before emerging before the glaring lights.

Cheers and whistles
greeted her as she spoke. “This one’s dedicated to the love of my life.” The strings were plucked and the keys began to play the intro to her song. Silence fell with her dramatic pause and I caught my breath, afraid of what she might say. I released the breath I didn’t know I was holding when she said, “That’s right, I’m talking about you, Mr. Mason.” She extended a finger to the audience and an elderly man laughed loudly in turn.

Perhaps Lissa was not the terrible person Mrs. N
guyen perceived her to be. I observed how she gave the older man joy and then smoothed the crowd with her sultry song.

My invisibility skills must not have been as good as I thought, because a voice barked at me, as though he
had seen me standing behind him for the first time. Jude had found me. His dark eyes blazed at me in the dim light backstage and I blanched at the force behind his aura. Tempests waged war over his head so fitfully I could almost feel the gust of his hidden fury an arm’s length away.

“What’s she doing back here? Hey, miss, no one ge
ts to lie down on the job around here. Don’t you know you’ve got five minutes before the chorus number?” Cain’s cousin stepped closer to me while glaring at the old man in charge of the curtain and props hidden behind it.

“You are Cain’s cousin?” I asked breathlessly, reeling from the
sudden assault of his emotions. I had let my guard down, I realized too late. Just the strain from reading his aura but not embracing the curse fully left me sick to my stomach. The further apart Cain and I were the easier it became to tap into and the less real
I began to feel.

But at least he’s here,
I reminded myself.

Jude
raised a single thick eyebrow and crossed his arms over his finely tailored clothes. His eyes swept over my overall appearance before a slow smirk eased his features. The black tempests died down over his head. “I see,” he soothed. “You’re Cain’s new girl or something? Must say I’m impressed. Never thought my little cuz could get over that witch so quickly.” He thumbed over his shoulder at the stage, now being filled with such a soulful tune, it evoked my compassion.

“Lissa is not a witch,” I said with conviction. “She
is no spellcaster. Her talents are of her own merit. She has shown you her natural gifts and yet you blame her for not living up to your expectations.”

Jude
laughed and shook his head, while glancing at the sound of claps and cries for more. “You don’t want to make that kind of bet with me, blondie. Lissa may have convinced you she’s your friend, but there’s nothing behind that mask of hers, just a soulless monster.”

“You speak
as if you have a right to judge them,” I replied, angered that the human could be so blinded by his jealousy and bitterness. Was this their curse, then, to cling to their woes and never know true joy? It was no wonder my efforts to save them were failing.

The dark energy tumbled
with electric fury over our heads and dissipated entirely as he advanced and said, “You don’t know what she did to Cain. He doesn’t even know the whole story. Don’t let her poison your mind, blondie. I’d hate to see my little cuz get burned like that again.”

“Orona?” Lissa gasped and pushed
Jude out of her way before throwing her arms around my middle. Over her shoulder I saw his smug grin and was tempted to smash it off his face with my fist. Lissa interrupted that train of thought, however, when she pulled back and squealed. “I can’t believe Jude let you skip rehearsals and everything. But you
know
you’re supposed to do this next number instead of me, remember? Like we talked about?”

I
wondered why her voice sounded so strange, until she winked and the light bulb hanging behind us reflected in her olive orbs. I was saved from replying when she turned back to her employer.

“Oh
, Jude,” she began with a saccharine smile, “they’re just going to love her, aren’t they?”

A
silent battle of wills occurred between them. While I couldn’t see Lissa’s expression, I watched his furrowed brow relax and his mouth twist up in a daring smirk. Finally, he turned back to the stage and walked out to introduce the next act.

“Lissa?” I pressed my fingertips to her bare shoulder and jerked back when she whipped round to face me. Snatching my hands in hers
, she smiled and I saw the tears gleaming in her eyes.

“Do me this one favor and I swear I’ll never embarrass you like this again. But you know he would have fired you if you didn’t have a better cover story. And honestly, where
were
you during rehearsals? I mean, Jude can forgive a lot of things, but he hates freeloaders.” Her smile turned sad on a face that was too beautiful to look so drawn and pale now.

“What shall I do?” I asked, at a loss.

“I saw what you did at the club, remember? Just dance,” she replied, as if she knew something I was not privy to.

“All the way from an exoti
c land, I give you the Egyptian Pearl!” Jude began to clap with his audience.

Lissa perked up, pushed me forward by my sh
oulders. “That’s you! You’re on! Don’t worry, I know you’re gonna do great, chica!”

Jude
walked past me as I entered the stage. I could tell by his devilish smirk that this was his revenge for what I had said earlier. Unlike Lissa, he knew I wasn’t working for him tonight.

When I turned to face the crowd, my vision blurred under a force of white lights. Holding my hand t
o shadow my gaze, I waited until the crowd’s applause died down. A few patrons coughed after and my eyes wandered dumbly. I sensed Cain’s eyes on me and could feel his confusion from here. White-hot lightning anger was building from the swirl of his aura. Somehow, I sensed he knew who had been behind this.

Fingering
the fringe of the shawl draped over my shoulders, I took comfort in the rich texture and felt it begin to drop. The first drum beat struck when I bent to catch it. I lifted my chin again on the second. Slowly, as a rhythm began to take place, I uncurled my back and shut my eyes. Rotating my hips, I moved the shawl to twirl around me and held it up to cover part of my face.

The drums continued to play along with the pluck of the strings and soon I was no longer blinded by a dozen bright lights.

I was illuminated by the large fire as I danced with my sisters, hoping to please Father’s important guests. Tonight was to be the night I met the merchant I was to marry and I was determined to please him. I singled him out in the crowd, focused my gaze on him and conveyed my intent. The heat from the flames was driving my pulse wild and then as I blinked, beneath the weight of his lust, I began to spin even faster.

My hair whipped around my h
ead, coming loose of its binds as I twirled faster and faster. I felt freer in that moment than all the years I had lived as a ghost to this world, until the music abruptly ceased and I dropped in a heap upon the ground. When I opened my eyes again, I was staring into a sea of bright lights contrasting a darkness beyond that was now filled with shouts and cheers.

I burned with shame when I realized what I had just done.
That particular dance was not meant for just anyone and the fact I had performed it in front of such a large crowd would have made me no better than a street prostitute in my people’s eyes.

But
your people aren’t here to judge you. They’ve been so long dead that not a single soul in this city even knows our tribe’s name.
And the thought not only filled me with inexplicable sorrow but ripped my heart to shreds. In the blink of an eye, the roar of applause, I recognized all I had truly lost.

Because I chose Seid and this shadow life instead of a real one.

Jude did not appear on stage to whisk me away. So I scrambled to my feet as quickly as I could, eager to escape. I could feel the temptation to fade away, to give into my curse.

Where was my cloak? I needed it if I was to leave without further interruption. Yet before I could make it down the steps to the dressing room,
Jude and Lissa grabbed hold of me and began to talk over each other. I winced at the jarring sound of their voices, their accents. Everything about them, their clothing and harsh language, everything was
wrong.

I wanted to go home. I wished I had died along with the rest of my family.

“How did you learn to do that, chica? You had all those men drooling halfway through that sexy ethnic thing! Even Jude here was…”

“Never mind what I was,” he interrupted, forcing me to face him. “You do realize what this means
, don’t you?” He flashed a quick grin, adding, “I seriously hope you’ve got your visa, blondie.”

Lissa rolled her eyes and shoved
Jude aside. “Get out there, big boss, before they start eating each other.”

Now
that it was just the two of us she dropped her mask and smiled genuinely up at me. “Told you to trust me. Stick with me and I know you’ll go places. If you have enough balls, you can do anything. Holy St. Joseph, you’re gonna be like the next Gypsy Rose Lee!” She giggled and tugged me down into the dressing room. “Come on! Jude and I’ve already settled that you’ve got a permanent gig here. You couldn’t see those guys under those lights, but we did. We’re in the money, baby!”

I stumbled when she pulled me into a room of illuminated mirrors and half
-dressed girls. Several of them called out as we passed.

“What took you so long
?”

“Yeah, we were supposed to be on five minutes ago.”

“—you think this makes me look fat?”

“Look what the slut dragged in.”

The redhead next to Lissa’s dresser threw her stick of paste against the mirror. “Good job,
Lissa
. The whole dump is like, in love with her now. How you expect us to top that?”

Lissa rolled her olive eyes and shouted over my head, “
Ladies, this is Jude’s new girl and my new bestie. Any of you backstabbing hos so much as breathe at her wrong, I’ll make your lives hell. Don’t think I can’t do it.”

Another girl finished slipping on her shoe and laughed, “Yes, your highness! We know who’s the boss’ favorite around here.”

Their words flew overhead while I searched for the cloak I had left behind. I could care less about their rivalry or jealousy. From the instant I had taken it off my shoulders, my keen judgment had degraded to an all-time low. I just needed to go home.

You don’t belong here, with them
. You never did.

Jude
pushed his head through the opening. “Hey!” he called out. “Does this place look like a charity? Get out there before they tear the band apart.”

Though his girls grumbled and groaned, they obeyed, filing ou
t until the room was silent. Only Lissa was left watching my madness silently unfold.

“
Whatcha freaking out so bad for?” she gently asked. “The others talk tough but they’re harmless. No one’s gonna hurt you, now you got us. We’re a family here and blood sticks thicker than honey, chica.” Her words faded to a whisper, drawing my full attention.

For a long moment I glared at her
, resentful that she had put me in this position and mulling over her words. Until my reason for being here and the reason behind everything were so obviously glaring me in the face, I could not believe I had not seen it sooner. Exhaling a shaky sigh, I replied, “And what about the family you started with Cain?”

Lissa jerked b
ack as if she had been slapped. Recovering quickly, she said, “How you know about that? No one’s supposed to know about that! Did
he
tell you?” From the incredulity in her gray-flecked green orbs, this had been the last thing she expected. Yet we both knew this was the closest thought in her heart.

I felt every single day of my two
thousand, seven hundred and eighty-eight years then, every time I obeyed Seid’s compulsion over me. Over the last age I had forced myself to become distant to their pain and emotions. I often blamed the curse for stealing my ability to feel. But what if it wasn’t the curse that had stolen my heart away? What if I had pushed them away, so deeply inside of me that I had invented my own cage? For the first time in my recent memory, I fought the need to call out to Seid.