Stay with Me (27 page)

“Are you okay?” he called.

Holding my breath, I turned toward the door. Would it be obvious if I walked out with a towel over my head? I was being stupid. I
knew
this, but Jax had just been kissing me, he’d had his hands on me, and he’d touched me, making me feel something so beautiful and this—
this
was so ugly. I didn’t want him to . . .

A whoosh of cold air swept through my body and I closed my eyes, drawing in several deep breaths. Jax knew the scar was on my face. He’d been all up close and personal with my face. He even kissed—

The bathroom door swung open, banging into the wall, and my eyes popped open as Jax barged in.

I hadn’t locked the bathroom door.

Le sigh.

He did a body scan, as if he were checking to see if I was injured or something. “Jesus,” he ground out. “I thought you fell in here and knocked yourself unconscious or something.”

Well, that was kind of embarrassing, but not the most pressing issue. I angled my body to the left so he could see my right profile. “I can’t go to breakfast.”

“What?”

“I can’t go to breakfast. I need to go back to the house.” I knew it sounded irrational and stupid. “Can we go back to the house?”

Jax shifted and his denim-clad leg came into my view. His feet were bare, poking out from the frayed hem of his jeans. “Why?”

“I just need to go back to the house. If you want to go ahead to IHOP, I can get my car and meet you there. That would probably—”

“Hell no.”

My chin jerked up and dipped to the left. “Excuse me?”

His eyes flashed with anger. “We’re not taking separate cars when I just had my hand between your legs and you came while calling my name.”

I opened my mouth, but really, what do you say in response to that?

“We’re going to leave here together, eat some greasy goodness, and then we’re going to go check out this place for your mom,” he continued. “And when we’re done, if we have time before our shifts start, we’re going to indulge in a nap.”

“A nap?” Really, out of all of that, that is what I focused on?

“Together.”

“A nap together?”

“Yeah,” and then his voice dropped, “and if we have time, I might make you come calling my name again.”

Holy crap, he did not just say that.

Then he stepped farther into the bathroom, coming at me, and I backed up, hitting the sink. He crowded me, and as I tried to look to the left, his hand cupped my right cheek and the other circled the left side of my neck. He turned my face straight to his. This wasn’t the first time he’d done that, I realized.

“I’m not stupid,” he said, smoothing his thumb along the bones in my throat. “I’m also pretty damn observant when I need to be.”

“Okay?” I whispered. “Um, thanks for the heads-up on that.”

His lips twitched as he tilted my head back so our eyes locked. “I know why you’re hiding in the bathroom.”

Oh God. “Because I’m afraid you’re going to make me try another pie I’d never eaten before?”

“Ha. No.” His head lowered, and I swallowed hard. “I don’t notice it.”

My heart tumbled over and I went with pretending to be dumb. “Notice what?”

“Calla, babe, you know what I’m talking about. This.” Then his head slanted and I felt his lips at the corner of my left eye, just below it.

I sucked in a sharp breath that hurt. He’d done this before, too, and it created the same maelstrom of emotion in me, but he did more this time. His lips followed that scar all the way down my cheek, right to the corner of my left lip, and then he kissed me. It was soft and sweet and it lingered. My hands went to his chest and I leaned into him.

When he lifted his mouth from mine and pressed his forehead against mine, tears had built in the back of my throat. “I don’t care about it, Calla. I don’t even think about it,” he said. “I don’t even see it.”

I squeezed my eyes shut as my heart squeezed into goo. Immediately, I didn’t believe him, because come the fuck on, but I stopped—I just
stopped
. Stopped telling myself I knew what was going on in Jax’s head and that I knew what he wanted and didn’t want. I
stopped
. Because I didn’t know—no one ever knew, scarred or not.
Stopped
telling myself there was no point, because I planned on leaving. And all I had was what Jax was telling me, and what he was showing me. So I
stopped
all the other bullshit and I shook that crap off and it was like scrubbing Dermablend off my face at night, when I finally felt like
me
. All of this might be dumb. It might bite me in the ass later, but I was going to be dumb. I was going to be the best dumb I could be.

Whoa.

I wobbled a little and I exhaled through my nose and when I spoke, my voice was unsteady and the back of my eyes burned, but I pushed on. “Okay. Let’s do this. And get this done, because I really want that nap.”

Those lips curved against mine. “That’s my girl.”

When Jax walked out of the townhouse, he was tugging the back of his shirt down as he walked down the small set of stairs on the front stoop. He was rocking a pair of mirrored sunglasses, aviator style like Jase wore, and he’d looked just as good in them.

We didn’t talk much as he drove to IHOP, which was good, because I was fixated on what might happen before or after the possible nap. More orgasms not self-induced? Count me in. I was so going to follow through with my newly desired dumbness and not worry about anything else while exploring the dumb.

Like any normal red-blooded female, I’d thought about sex a decent amount, but not as much as I had in the last hour or so. My brain was playing happily in the gutter, right up until the plate of bacon, biscuits, and something Jax had said were grits and that I needed to try.

It was hard not thinking about being out in public without makeup, but every time my mind wandered to it or I
thought
someone was checking it out, like when a small boy had peeked over the back of the booth or when the waitress smiled at me, I forced it out of my thoughts.

And then my thoughts went to this—this Jax and me
thing
. There was a
thing
. As he’d said earlier, he had his hand between my thighs and I’d called his name, so there was a
thing
. A
thing
I had little experience in, and I wasn’t sure how far this
thing
really was going to go, because if my financial aid kicked in, I’d be heading three hours down the road. What kind of future was there for our
thing
when I’d be at college and he’d be all sexy working the bar?

Why was I even thinking about this? Because I was dumb and I’d already decided that I was going to go with this
thing,
whatever it was, and whatever going with this
thing
meant.

I poked at the white lumpy crap with my fork. “This is grits?”

“Try it.”

“It looks like something out of a horror movie.” I poked it again. “I’m afraid it’s going to launch itself off the plate and cover my face.”

Jax chuckled as he added some pancakes to the river of syrup.

“It’s not funny. I’ll end up birthing an alien grit baby or something,” I muttered. “And then what are we going to do?”

He peered up through his lashes, a small, amused grin playing across his lips. “Just try it.”

“What does it taste like?” I resisted.

“Grits.”

I lowered my fork, looking at him blandly. “Details.”

He laughed as he cut through what looked like ten pancakes stacked. “One cannot simply describe grits. One must simply enjoy them.”

My eyes rolled, but I scooped up a small taste, made sure I had cheese in it, and gingerly tasted them. The whole time Jax watched and waited. I swallowed, unsure of what to think. I tried a little more.

“So?” he asked.

“I don’t know.” I shoved a mouthful in. “I haven’t decided yet. I think they taste good, but they’re called grits; therefore I’m not sure I can freely admit to liking something called grits. I have to really think about this.”

Jax laughed. “Cute.”

I grinned as I went for a slice of bacon. “So where are we going after this?”

“Inside Philly,” he said in between mouthfuls. “There’s a house she used to hang out at a lot. Maybe we’ll get lucky and she’ll be there or they’ve seen her recently.”

“Sounds like—”

“Calla! And Jax!” shrieked a familiar voice. I twisted in the booth, spying Katie. She was trotting over to us. Literally trotting, and I blinked, wondering if we time-warped back to the eighties and I’d been unaware of it.

Katie was wearing hot pink spandex tights, slouchy purple socks, sneakers, and an off-the-shoulder black shirt. And a scarf—a polka-dotted red and blue scarf, and it was June.

“Hey,” I said, waving a slice of bacon around.

“Gurl.” Katie stopped at our booth, holding on to a carry-out box. “Look at you. Told you, your life was going to change.”

Um.

Jax shoved a huge slice of pancake into his mouth, and I could tell he was trying not to smile.

“What are you doing up so early?” she asked, and then went on before I could answer. “I was doing yoga. Every morning. And I get IHOP, Waffle House, or Denny’s every morning. It’s like the universal counterbalance or some shit like that. But it’s still kind of early for hot, busy bartenders to be eating breakfast. Together.”

My gaze shifted to Jax.

“We woke up together,” he said, and that was all he said.

Katie’s eyes turned into spaceships, and I almost shouted that it wasn’t what she was thinking, but then I realized that it
was
what she was thinking, so I forced myself not to say anything.

A big smile split across her pretty face. “Awesome sauce. Seriously. If you two stay together and end up getting married and having a kid, I think you should name your baby Katie.”

Warmth crept into my cheeks. “Whaaat?”

“I mean, you could name a boy baby Katie, but they’d probably get made fun of in school, and I don’t think you two would want that. Oh—is that grits?” She switched topics, not even taking a breath. “You need more cheese on them. One morning you need to come over to my house. I can make some mean-ass grits.”

“That sounds good,” Jax replied smoothly, his dark eyes twinkling in the lights. “And we’ll take the name thing into consideration.”

I turned my “what the fuck” stare on him.

Katie giggled. “Awesome. Well, I need to get home with my muffins and waffles. See you guys later.”

Watching her spin on her heel and flounce out of the restaurant, I had nothing of any value to say, so I went with the next-best thing. “Did you know she fell off a pole, hit her head, and is now psychic?”

“That’s what I hear.”

I bit down on my lower lip. “Roxy says she’s been pretty on point before.”

“Katie,” drawled Jax, and I looked over the table at him. He was smiling. “I wouldn’t be opposed to naming a baby girl Katie.”

“Oh my God,” I said.

Jax tipped his head back and laughed that deep sexy laugh, and I couldn’t help but smile.

I wasn’t smiling when we entered the part of town one did not willing venture into forty minutes later. The street wasn’t very active, as it wasn’t even noon yet.

Jax found a parking spot in front of the worn-down brownstones across from a city park that looked like it belonged in a postapocalypse movie.

My gaze skipped over the boarded-up windows and doors on some of the units. “I’m not sure about this.”

“This is the last shit hole I want to bring you to, but the last I checked, you served me with a dose of attitude about this being your problem and shit.” He killed the engine and turned what was probably a very smug look on me. “So that’s why we’re here.”

He had a good point, but it wasn’t like I was going to admit to that. “Whatever.”

His lips twitched. “Stick close to me. Okay? And let me do the talking—no, don’t look at me like you just sucked on something sour. Let me do the talking. If you can’t agree to that, then we’re going to drive off, I’m going to lock you up with Clyde or Reece, and then I’ll come back here on my own.”

My eyes narrowed on him. “You don’t have to be so damn bossy.”

“Yes, I do.” He leaned forward and kissed the tip of my nose. It was quick, but it still startled me. When he pulled back, he was grinning. “Do you agree?”

I hesitated and then sighed. Wasn’t like I was Rambo and was going to run into the brownstones by myself, demanding to have them hand over my mother or else. “Oh, all right. Yes. I agree.”

Jax nodded and then he climbed out. I sat there for a second, said a little prayer, and then got out. I did stick close to him as we walked down the block and then headed up the crumbling set of steps to a brownstone that had two windows boarded up on the second floor.

“Mom used to come here?” I asked, folding my arms around my waist.

He nodded as he glanced down at me. “Yeah.”

Pressing my lips together, I knew I shouldn’t be surprised. Wasn’t like this was anything new, but seeing this and picturing my mom hanging out in a place like this just didn’t set well, no matter how many trailers I’d pulled her out of when I was a teenager.

Jax rapped his knuckles on the door. A few moments passed and when no one answered, I figured this was going to be a no go, but then Jax pounded his fist on it.

“Whoa,” I murmured, glancing around. “Do you think that’s a good idea?”

He ignored me as he leaned in. “Open up the door, Ritchey. I know you’re in there. Your piece-of-shit car is out front.”

My eyes widened as my stomach dipped.

There was a beat of silence and then the front door opened to a crack. I couldn’t see anyone, but I heard in a scratchy voice, “What the fuck do you want, Jackson?”

Um.

Jax placed his hand on the center of the faded red door. “We need to talk.”

“Talk” was the response.

“Not on the front doorstep of your damn house, Ritchey. Let us in.”

There was a pause. “Us?” Then the door opened to about a foot and a man’s head appeared. I took an involuntary step back from the sight of the unshaven face, bloodshot eyes, and bulbous nose covered in broken blood vessels. “Who the fuck are you?”