Authors: V. Murphy
When I got dressed, I headed downstairs
; Knox laughed and poured me a cup of black coffee.
“Big day
tomorrow, bro,” I said, looking over at Kylee and Savannah, who were playing with Evelyn.
“Yeah. I can
’t wait.” He stared at Savannah. He loved her, needed her, and did everything for her; so why couldn’t that be me?
“You nervous? Ever think you’ll fuck this all up?”
I was hoping he could indirectly give me something to go off of.
“Never.
When you love someone, you don’t fuck up, you just know.”
Shit. He was right. I needed to get out of here, clear my head. Get away from Kylee and all this shit. I knew exactly where I needed to go. I went to Evelyn
, kissed her on her head, and asked Knox if I could borrow his Lambo. He threw me the keys and I headed out the door.
I couldn’t deal with
knowing how badly I'd fucked up with Harper. This wasn't the first time, but I'd make damn sure it would be the last. I was pissing the second best thing—behind Evelyn—to happen to me away.
I
revved the engine, holding the stick shift in my hand as I pressed the gas. Damn, I needed a car like this. I sped down his driveway and onto the street, driving out of Sugar Land and back towards Houston. The top was down and I could feel the wind around me, but I didn’t give a crap. I was on a mission. I knew where I needed to go.
I drove to Reliant
Stadium and sped past the employee entrance, flashing my old badge. It wasn’t a game day, so it was quiet. I pulled up to my old spot, and threw the car into park. I missed the feeling of exhilaration, knowing you’re approaching the field. Ironically, it was eerily quiet, but I could imagine the pass coming down the middle as I dove to catch the ball and running it to a touchdown.
I walked onto the field, explaining to the security guard who I was and how I was here for old time’s sake. The green
Astroturf under my feet crunched, and the white lines chalked on the field had me aching to play. I loved the game. It was my life here. The guys were my family; the field was my home.
I looked up into the now
-empty stands and could feel the crowd roar around me, chanting the team’s mantra, and screaming my name. One game. One game was all it took to lose everything. I never blamed Kylee for losing in that game, but it was the day I found out Evelyn was mine. I was distracted, didn’t know where the rush was coming from, and ended up on the bottom of the pile.
I could
almost hear the roar of the crowd as I walked to the sidelines where the team would sit. I glanced up, knowing Pat, my agent, would always be to the top right, usually glaring at me…that asshole.
I remember
ed spring training, and going out and getting shitfaced after we completed sets of sprints. It was a dream, but that’s all it would ever be: a dream.
I walked around for a while
, and sat down in one of the bleachers in the first row. I really needed Harper here with me. It wasn’t the same without her, and I was sick of messing up.
“Set up, man
,” I said out loud. I was being an ass and imitating the same thing my ole’ man did. He had a one-track mind, nothing but his goals, his dreams, and his life he imagined for me mattered. It wasn’t the same without her, and I was sick of fucking up.
I pulled out my phone and sent a text to Harper.
I’m sorry I always fuck up.
I need you here. Ticket is waiting for you.
Please come.
Ry
I needed to touch her skin
, and let her small, warm hands wrap around my back to comfort me. I wanted her to run her fingers through my hair, reminding me everything would be fine. I realized in that moment that didn’t love Kylee; sometimes my dick was confused, but I found her attractive, and that was it. She was the mother of my Evie. She gave me Evelyn, and the emotion I was feeling towards her was appreciation, not love.
When my phone didn’t respond, I shoved it back into my jeans and got up to leave. I needed to
confront good ole’ Pops to move on from all of this. I couldn’t deal with the fact that I was slowly becoming him by mowing out everyone in my life. I needed to tell him I wasn’t going to be with Kylee, or with his fucking law firm. He had to move on from this gross idea he had of his loser son.
I needed to talk to Kylee and figure out where she was going. I couldn’t have her here and
me be stuck in San Diego. I needed to figure something out. As I got to the car, I dialed her number.
“Hey
,” she said coldly.
“Meet me at my parents
,” I directed.
“Your who?”
she asked, as if she wasn’t sure she heard me correctly.
“I need you to meet me at my parents. Now
,” I ordered.
“Okay
, okay. Be there in an hour.”
I couldn’t believe I was going there. I was facing the man who hated his own son for years. The family who emancipated their own child for his
entire adult life. I was doing it for Harper, because I knew if she was here she would push me to face them. I was doing it because I needed to get it off my chest. I was doing it for my daughter, my love, and myself.
I drove to their house, knowing the route from memory.
Chapter 6
Harper
My hands were shaking violently
, and I blinked through clouds of tears. The darkness seeped deep into my pores, and I felt engulfed by a blanket of fatigue. My eyelids were heavy and I needed to blink, but my eyes wouldn’t open. It’s as if they were completely glued together. I was stuck and scared. Fever broke throughout my body, and my fingers kept flicking at my skin.
My mind
was hovering over a huge white bed, and in the middle of it were two entangled bodies, molded together, going at it. She had flowing blonde hair and he had deep black hair that was pulled back as she grabbed it, then shoved her hips down over his dick. He grunted out in pleasure, and all I could do was stand there and watch the whole thing happen.
Nothing came out of my mouth, not even a small shrill. She was bouncing up and down on him while she moaned again. He was
chanting her name.
“Kylee. Kylee. Kylee.” He kept repeating over and over again. I felt my worst fear come to life as she began to cum continuously. They both cried out together in a mutual orgasm as I sunk to the floor, hugging my knees tight against my chest.
I was watching the love of my life fuck his ex-wife on the bed we could have just made love in. Why hadn’t I gone with him? In my imagination, he didn’t see me sitting there, listening to him rip one into her again. I kept sitting on the end of the bed, crouched and hugging my knees tightly against my chest. The tears started to drain from my eyes as waterfalls exploded from my face.
When he was done, I heard him kiss her and get up from the bed. He walked right past me where he simply looked down and laughed.
“You sorry little girl. You should have never trusted me.” He just laughed and walked on. When he came back, I could hear him rustling in the sheets with her. They were sitting together talking.
“I can
’t believe you ever thought you loved that girl.”
“I know
; she was just a notch on my bedpost.” He growled in the sexy Texan accent that usually had me moistening my panties in pleasure, but now I was crying in pain. The pain he was causing me felt too familiar. I needed to run, far away from here. I needed to go. I tried to reach for the door and jiggle the handle, but nothing worked. I was stuck.
Help. Someone, please help me.
My guilt was manifesting itself. I had tried to hook up with someone at the bar, and now I had to bear witness as the love of my life, the center of my soul, fuck his ex-wife in that bed. The bed we would’ve shared together as I watched this manifestation of my worst fear come to life. I needed to stop. I needed to run, but I couldn’t pick myself up to even think about doing it.
“What a fuckin
g slut,” the blonde-haired witch cackled.
“She was just a pathetic little girl who followed me around li
ke a high-maintenance slut.”
The air was sucked out of my lungs and I couldn’t breathe in or out. Everything was
airtight, and my body started convulsing as I moved like I was having a seizure on the floor. I curled up, my back pressed as tight as it would go under the bed and hugged my knees to my chest.
Why was he saying this? Where was the Ryder I knew
, and who was this guy here in his place? Gah. I had all these questions that were sitting there unanswered, but all I could zone in on was the giggling happening between the two entwined bodies on the bed above me.
Something told me to run and I ran to the door, looking back
at the two figures laughing hysterically at me. They were pointing like a pair of catty teenagers and kept giggling.
“You
’re never going to get him, honey,” she repeated continuously at me between laughs.
“We are done. Finished
,” he responded in the same dominant voice that once used to turn me on.
I grabbed the handle to the door once again and pushed harder
, twisting it over to the left side, then moving it to the right. I grabbed my wrist and pushed harder to force the handle to budge. I pounded on the door, desperately hoping someone would answer and I would be free from this hellish nightmare. I slammed my wrists into the wood door with such force, suddenly I heard a small crack in my wrists as if I had broken something.
When I looked down
, I saw my hand turning purple and swelling. Crap, I think I broke my hand, and I was still stuck in this room, which felt as if the walls were closing in on me quickly.
I fell to the floor
, and my swollen hand started throbbing. I could feel the pain move from my wrist as it migrated upwards towards the middle of my arm; but the only real pain I felt was the one coming from the betrayal of the man I loved.
I closed my eyes, hoping to blink this all away
, and I could feel the darkness seep back into me. I could feel the escalating force of bleakness enter my disembodied soul. If I wasn’t sure of myself, how could I have been so sure about our relationship? I was stupid enough to rush into something without thinking. The question is now whether or not I should rush out of it as quickly, or should I try to give it a chance.
Ryder needed me. He was alone in Texas, dealing with the demons he helped me get past
, and here I was, selfishly waiting on him while he got lost in his past. He was confused, broken, and frustrated, and I was just sitting here like a piece of shit.
My eyelashes fluttered open
, and I saw the scratches that reappeared on my wrists. I immediately got up and saw small trickles of blood that had seeped into the threads of the sheets.
It was all a dream, Harper. It was all a dream.
I needed to go save my relationship before it was too lost to find.
Chapter 7
Ryder
I
revved the car and moved down the street, but something was stopping me. I needed to face Pops to show him I am a man, a father, and something he will never be to me. I needed to do this to become a better man for Harper. Be the love of her life that protected her. Kylee had to leave, and I had to tell ‘em all. That was it.
If Kylee needed to take Evelyn away from me and stay in Houston, so be it. If she thought that would make everything better
, I would make it work. I would show my father he wasn’t in control of his twenty-eight year old son’s life. Done.
I pulled into the circle driveway and parked next to Mom’s Mercedes. I loved her, but I didn’t know her. I was raised by Rosetta, the housekeeper. I remember calling Rosetta
’Mom’ for years until I realized, the stranger I shared a house with was actually my mom. How many fuckin’ parent/teacher conferences did they attend?
I saw Kylee pull in beside me.
“Evelyn here?” I asked, prayin’ she wasn’t so she wouldn’t have to witness this shit.
“No, I left her back with Mom and Savannah,” she said.
“Thank you,” I responded.
“This is a big thing you
’re doing, Ry. I am proud of you, you know?”
I stopped her and grabbed her shoulders.
“Kylee. You and I will never happen ever again. I love Harper. I know that hurts you, because I was an ass to you when we were together, but I don’t want to fuck this up with her. I need to do this, because I don’t know where else I would be without her and Evelyn. Please, just accept that.”
Her eyes pierced mine as I finally lifted my hands from her shoulders.
“I know, Ry. Trust me; I know. I don’t think that means we can’t be friends. As much as you want to cut me out, and you hate me for what I did by getting her pregnant on purpose, that will never happen. You’re too much of an amazing father for it to happen.”
“Don’t stay here then
, Kylee,” I pleaded with her, begging her to not uproot everyone.
“Let’s just go inside. You ready?” she asked
, knowing this moment was hard for me. I needed Harper here with me, but she wasn’t picking up my calls.
I need you. Going to see my parents today.
Texas
. Now.
R
y
The message was short, but I needed her to understand the urgency in the matter. She had no other option. She had to be here. I grabbed whatever balls I had left and walked into the house, knowing I was doing this all for her. This was to make myself a better man for her, and for my daughter. I needed to face this asshole and try to understand why he did what he did.
“Let’s just go
,” I said, pushing her away from me and walked towards the door.
The door was a foot taller than me
, and I was 6’4”. It was fuckin’ obnoxious at how ornate it was. When Rosetta answered the door, I swooped her up off her feet as she shrilled.
“Oh
, Ryder,” she cried between spins. Rosetta was still the same, sweet, small lovely lady I remembered, but with a few more years on her.
“You came back
!” she exclaimed when I finally put her down.
“Just for a wedding
, Rose. I need to speak to Mom and Pops; they ‘round?” I asked, inhaling the scent of rice and beans coming from the kitchen.
The house was
fuckin’ huge. In no way did three people ever need this much space. There were more people who worked on the house on a daily basis than who actually lived in it. Pops liked showin’ off his wealth to his friends, so he drove fast cars and bought big houses; that was his way of life.
Rosetta quickly nodded her head and usher
ed us into the sitting room. Yes, a fuckin’ sitting room.
“Thank you
, dear,” Kylee smiled at Rosetta, who quickly left to get us somethin’ to drink.
“I love your house, Ry.”
“You gotta stop calling me that.” I sat on the uncomfortable couch, not the kind of couch you would watch a Sunday night football game on, but something your Nana would cover in plastic. I tried shifting around, but the thing wouldn’t get any better, so I just gave up.
“I’m sorry. I don’t get why we can
’t just…” Kylee started, but was interrupted by a small cough that could only announce my mother’s presence in the room.
“Ryder, darling. You have finally decided to grace us with your
presence after all these years.”
I got up, in proper southern respect
, but didn’t approach her. She looked like Cruella Deville from those kids movies.
“I need to talk to you and Pop
s. Where is he?” I didn’t care to make small talk with these people. These were the people who birthed me, not the ones who took care of me.
Rosetta quickly came back with some ice
d waters and lemonades, and sat them on the middle table.
“Thanks
, Rose.” I smiled and then flashed straight back to the woman who I was suppose to call Mom.
“He’s on his way down
, son. He is just finishing up a conference call. You know he is just so busy because you won’t help him out.”
“Don’t
start,” I bellowed, forcing the silence back into the room.
Mom sat there
, twiddling her thumbs around, waiting for Pops to come down from his conference call. I could hear the incessant tick of the clock on the wall that continued, driving my nerves crazy.
I was getting pissed off more and more by the
minute. I glanced over at Kylee, who was shifting nervously in her seat. She knew how I felt about this, and how I was going to explode when Pops came down.
“Hello
, Mrs. Kent,” she said, trying to deter the conversation.
“Kylee
, dear, how are you?” my mother asked her as if nothing happened.
This is what she was good at
, making conversation about things that really don’t matter in life.
“I’m fine.”
“How is that little girl of yours?” she asked, which frankly, pissed me off. She knows Evelyn’s name, and knows very well that she is also mine.
“Say her name and recognize she is my daughter.” I wiped my palms on the couch and kept ‘em tucked under me
, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to keep myself from wailing on her.
“You were the one w
ho planned her, remember?” I screamed this time.
“I did not tell Kylee to go off her…protection.” She wasn’t able to say birth control. God forbid she say something so
classless.
“Well, to be fair
, Mrs. Kent, both you and my mother pressured me to settle down and get off of it. While you didn’t directly say it, I felt forced to, because y’all made me feel I was going to amount to some useless human being if I didn’t end up with Ryder. Not that I’d ever regret Evie, I just…” Kylee spoke up for the first time. I turned to look at her, shocked she even said somethin’.
I spoke up
, defendin’ her, “She’s right,
Mom
. Neither of us regret Evelyn, but damn, y’all were conniving.”
Something about her was changing, hopefully. Maybe she was trying to work things out anyways. Who knew, but hopefully we could get things hashed out for Evelyn.
“What’s the commotion in here?”
Pops.
His always knew how to make an entrance just at the right moment. He was in his typical Armani suit. I can’t remember a day he changed from the damn thing. When I stood up, it was like looking in a mirror that aged you a couple years. I hated that we looked so much alike. Damn.
“Father.” I shook his hand and he sat down next to
Mom.
“What brings you back here? This is quite a surprise
,” he said in his business-like manner. It was always about business with him.
“I need to talk to
y’all. Get this off my chest before I go back to San Diego. I am here for Kayden Knox’s wedding.”
“Ah, yes. He is marrying that Livingston girl
, isn’t he?” Pops asked.
“Yup.”
“Good for him, finally settling down. It’s about time one of you settled down,” he griped. “What are you here to talk about then, son?”
“I need your blessing to move on. I am sick of feeling like a damn
disappointment in your eyes. I want everyone in this room to leave me alone about the damn law school thing. It ain’t ever going to happen,” I drawled.
“Son, you know you need to provide for your family
; and here you are, gallivanting around town while leaving your wife and daughter at home,” he started ranting before Kylee and I quickly interrupted at the same time.
“Ex-wife
,” we said in unison.
“Either way.
Y’all are family, and you don’t leave family for dust.”
“How can you even begin to say that? You left me behind!” I screamed
, my fists pounding against the side of the couch, making Kylee jump.
“You left on your own accord
, son. I told you what was important in life, and it wasn’t football. Look at how that dream turned out.”
“Fuck you
, Pop. Fuck. You.”
“I will not have that language in this house, you hear me
, Ryder Andrew?” my mother interrupted.
“Seriously
, though,” I began, “how can you guys sit here and act like everything is perfectly okay? It’s not. You forced Kylee to have a fuckin’ baby with me when I wasn’t ready to have a kid. You disowned your own fuckin’ kid because he was a goddamn pro footballer.”
“Son, no one forced you guys t
o engage in intimate behaviors, and no one left you behind.” My dad laughed with a devilish look on his face, as if something in this conversation was funny.
Mom chimed in, “You were just acting a little silly
, Ryder. Who plays football as a profession? Seems all a little bit ridiculous, if you ask me.”
“
I DID! I played football for a profession, and you guys
knew
I was fuckin’ Kylee.” I emphasized ‘fuck’ just to see the look on Mom’s face twist with disgust.
“In all fairness,” Kylee piped
in, “you guys did tell me it was something I should consider doing with the baby and all. I may not agree with the whole football thing, sorry, Ry, but with Evelyn, it was kind of a sucky situation.”
“We are sorry
, son, if you feel like we forced this on you, but we really wanted the best for you,” Mom spoke up.
“It was for the best. It was because you wanted to do the football thing, which we knew was never going to work out. I needed someone to take over the firm for me
, and wanted to keep it in the family. It was what you were suppose to do.” At least he was telling the truth now.
“Yeah, but that’s not what I wanted. You both have royally screwed me up in more ways than you even realize. I have to deal with all this crap about feeling like a shit
ty father…”
“You are not
,” Kylee interjected, “don’t you ever feel like that.”
“But I do. It’s how I feel
, like I have to be better than Pops. You never see your own granddaughter because y’all don’t even care. I don’t get how you don’t maintain some sort of relationship with her, or your own son for that matter.”
“Well
, darling, you are all the way in San Diego.” Mom shriveled her nose and swiped the wrinkles off her dress. She didn’t care; she was simply making up excuses to pretend like she wanted to.
“That doesn’t stop you from doing shit
, and you know it. I don’t understand why the damn law firm is so important to you that you would isolate your son.”
“We want
ed something better for your, Ryder.”
“Then why the fuck would you think having a baby would be a good thing?” My f
ace were red with fury. I wanted to slam something, or someone, against the wall hard enough I could hear the bones in their face crack. I was violently angry with them. Angry they would throw their son to the wolves because he wasn’t good enough for them, and then not be there to support him as he raised his daughter like a good man. Moreover, I was pissed they weren’t there for me to give me support as their child, a shoulder to cry on when I was young. I don’t remember cryin’, because if I did, Pops would hand me over to Rosetta. He didn’t handle it well, and frankly, I didn’t understand why he didn’t. When Evie cried, I got an overwhelmin’ sense of being needed; it was my duty to be her knight in shinin’ armor and make everything better.
“I was so good at football
, though. Most families would be proud if their son was an NFL player. I was good at it, and makin’ money while doing somethin’ I loved.”
“But we knew your career would end quickly
, Ryder. Football isn’t something you play forever, and then what would you do? You had no solid backup plan, and I was ready to retire and hand you a ten-million dollar law firm.”