Steel My Soul (Motorcycle Club Romance) (Sons of Steel Motorcycle Club Book 4) (10 page)

Declan

"I'm the fucking club doctor, get out of my way."

The Storm MC's Sergeant At Arms was the biggest dude I had ever seen in my life. So of course they called him Tiny.

If I had actually given a shit about my own personal safety, I would have cringed away from him. But I was way past the point of caring.

"You made your fucking point, now step aside!"

Tiny fixed me with a glare, his lip curled up in a snarl under a bushy mustache. Then he looked up and glared at the rest of us who had gathered around to watch the humiliating spectacle.

"You amateur fucks are gonna get us all killed," he bellowed, shaking his head. Then and only then did he finally step aside and let me go to J. and Case.

Both of their right eyes were already swelling shut. All I had were two bags of frozen corn. "Buncha fucking bullshit," I told them, showing them both how to cup the bags over their eyes.

The crowd of Storm MC goons was starting to disperse, but Teach still stood there, like he had been all along. Watching his guys get disciplined like a couple of low-level prospects. "Wasn't bullshit," he called in that deadly calm voice he only used when he was furious. "And you know it."

"Fuck right off, Teach," J. bellowed, shoving past his mentor and barreling into the safe house.

Case lowered his head and followed, refusing to look either one of us in the eye. Mac and Thorn paused to see if I would say anything, but when I didn't , they headed back into the cramped, smelly house that had been our prison for twenty-nine days and counting.

Teach knew me too well. He knew I was waiting until we were alone before I said my piece, so he crossed his arms and waited. I had to respect the man, even in my fury. He didn't fly off the handle. Ever.

Only once I had I ever seen him lose his cool, and that was about twenty minutes ago.

"They're going crazy here," I finally told him, crossing my arms over my belly. The sun was warm on my cut, but there was still a chill in the air. Winter was still holding on, and with it, all of my dark thoughts.

Teach blinked at me.

"Tell me you have a plan to get us out," I pleaded with him.

My words seem to hurt Teach physically. "I'm working on it," he sighed, and I could hear the fatigue in my friend's voice. "Things haven't died down yet. We can't afford to make another costly mistake."

I nodded. The loss of the clubhouse was a deep blow, one that we could only blame on ourselves.

"Look, I know, but can you blame the kid? We left there in the dead of night with nothing but the clothes on our backs. He's got a girl, Teach, and he's going crazy not knowing she's safe. Case too. They're both pacing around here like a coupla tigers in a cage. It makes me tired just watching them."

Teach sighed and looked up at the flat gray sky. A battalion of geese flew high over head, migrating north through the Pine Barrens. They could get out of this hellhole, but we couldn't.

"I know he's got a girl, and the cartel probably knows it too. Calling her, Doc? I don't care if it's a burner phone, they got their ways of tracking that shit."

"Yeah, but you knocked it outta his hand before he could even get the call through."

"And it's a damn good thing I did, for all of us."

I looked down at the wet, sandy ground. He was right, J. had been worse than foolish trying to call Emmy.  Cell phones could be traced and tracked, calls could be monitored. All of our phones had been confiscated when we first ended up at the safe house, so where he got the illegal one from was a piece of info he wasn't readily giving up.

For that, Teach had ordered Case to give him a black eye as Sergeant At Arms. Instead, Case refused a direct order and went and stood by his best friend's side.

In all my years, I had never seen Teach lose it the way he did just then.  The Zen Master morphed into a fireball of rage, spewing venom in J. and Case's faces. "You undisciplined idiots are going to get us all killed. You want that?  You want the cartel to know where you are, where your girls are?"  The rasp in his voice sounded painful as he shouted himself hoarse. "Stop being petulant children and man the fuck up until we get outta this shit! You can go without pussy for a few weeks, I know it.  I've seen you do it before."

And then he told Tiny to blacken both of their eyes.

"Yeah, it's a good thing," I muttered in defeat. "But that doesn't mean I don't want to get blackout drunk tonight and forget this all happened."

"You and me both," Teach nodded, reaching out to clap a hand on my shoulder.  I knew he wanted to believe that made everything right between us, like we had both come to terms with the necessity of what had just happened. But I was far from feeling like everything was hunky-fucking-dory. I let my prez lead me back into the squat, wood-shingled prison, but my mood was blacker than ever.

I shuffled through the crowd of Storm MC assholes, suppressing the urge to shove and throw punches everywhere. I hated being beholden to these uptight fucks who treated this shit like it was some sort of military dictatorship instead of a brotherhood. I hated that they had ridden to our rescue twice now. I hated having that kind of karmic debt on my conscience.

I also hated their food, their house and their rotgut whiskey.

And them. I hated each and every one of their ugly, humorless faces and I wished they'd all go to hell.

But instead of sending them there, I shuffled over to the bunkhouse for another day of sitting on my fat old ass waiting for someone else to order me around.

This was not the life I had signed up for when I became a Son. I signed up to be a rebellious asshole, not a mousy little drone who lived in fear of every car that sped down the highway. I signed up to give the finger to authority.

And that's why I had held on to my fucking phone.

Gabriela

"Oh what a beautiful ring!"

I had said those words so many times before, lying through my teeth, but this time I actually meant it.

"He designed it himself," the pretty brunette smiled proudly.

"He did a great job." I was still looking at the beautiful diamond on her finger. The antique setting was delicate but intricate, like a flimsy piece of lace, and it fit her small-boned figure and fine features just perfectly. In the eight months I had been working at the bridal salon, this was probably the first time I actually saw a ring I wanted to wear myself.

"I think so too." For a moment her smile went soft and private and I could tell she was thinking about her man.

"Well," I hastily checked the clipboard for her name, "Dana. Let's find you a gorgeous dress to go with that gorgeous ring."

She and her maids giggled and tromped over to the dressing rooms. I went and pulled the dresses she had picked out and threw in a few that I thought would suit her classic style.  But I kept thinking back to that sweet little private smile. I had seen it before, on the faces of other brides I had helped over the past months. But only now could I really understand what it was they were thinking about when their eyes went soft like that.

I leaned against the rustling fabric of the hanging dresses and smiled a private smile of my own.

Crash and I had been hanging out for almost a month now. Just two people enjoying each other, nothing more.

Except that I wanted more and more all the time.  And the intensity of that wanting was startling and deeply unnerving.

"Okay Dana, are you ready?" I called as I stepped up on to the platform. Her maids were arrayed around her on the couches, cell phone cameras at the ready.  She was blushing, hard.

"I guess so," she smiled.

I opened the dressing room door. "I'm going to help get you in, and zip you up, are you okay with that?"

"Guess I have to be, huh?"

"Pretty much," I grinned. Management did not like it when brides got themselves into the dresses. Blah blah customer service, the full experience and whatever.

The first dress was one I had picked out myself, a full sleeved sweetheart neckline with an a-line cut and heavy lace overlay. In my mind it echoed the look of her ring; classic, almost vintage. I zipped her tiny body into it and then opened the door.

The chorus of gasps and screams told me my instincts were right. Dana's mom got all teary eyed and her maids starting snapping pictures on their phones. I backed away and let them have their moment, leaning against the mirrored wall and slipping off my pinching shoes.  And for the first time I watched a bride with something approaching wistfulness.

I'm not marrying Crash. For fuck's sake, I'm not even calling him my boyfriend yet.  Slow the fuck down, Gabi.
I was yelling at myself, but my self refused to listen to reason. I hated that I was actually jealous
.

I wonder if he's thinking about me now?

Once I found Dana's dream dress, the rest of the sale went by easily. Veil, headpiece, shoes, bridesmaids' dresses; she ordered everything from me. I stood to make a very hefty commission off of her

"Did you just hit your numbers already?" Jackie hissed at me after I rang everything up. The older woman had been with the salon for close to three years and had a nasty reputation for poaching other reps' sales. But everyone in Dana's party paid up on the spot, leaving nothing for Jackie to swoop in and steal.

I punched a few numbers on that register then smiled. "Yes," I told her. "Yes I did." With five days left in the selling period, I had already made enough to put me in the highest commission bracket. And since I had opened today, it was almost time for me to leave with daylight still left to enjoy.  Which was even better.

And as if that wasn't good enough, the low rumble of a motorcycle pulling up to the front door was the best.

He
wa
s thinking about me.

Crash walking into a bridal salon was something I never got tired of seeing. He looked completely out of place, of course, but he sure didn't act that way. I don't think I ever saw the man walk into a room that he didn't completely command. He sauntered into this feminine, pastel world all leather-clad and tattooed and dripping with masculinity and I swear every single woman in here looked at him and felt immediate disappointment in their choice of man.

But he only looked at me.

"Hey gorgeous," he grinned.

I slipped out from behind the register. "What're you doing here?" I smiled back, resisting the urge to climb him like a tree.

"You're done, right? It's nice out. Wanna go for a ride?" From behind his back he pulled out a shiny purple helmet.

I tried not to let my hands flutter in excitement. "I just have to clean up my section," I told him. "Be right there."

He went over and settled himself on one of the pale blue couches, stretching out his leg. "You going to be okay there?" I asked him.

He cocked a sly grin. "I'm going to stare at your ass," he informed me. "I'll be just fine."

I smiled the whole time I dashed through my cleaning, feeling the heat of his gaze on my body. He had never asked me to ride with him, not yet any way. I remembered Dana's private smile and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirrored wall, seeing that exact same look on my own face.

Fuck. I had it bad for him.

"There, just let me punch out," I told him, hurrying to the back room.

"That's right, honey. Walk away from me," he called. "Keep walking."

Jackie was back there checking on special orders.  "Your boyfriend is an interesting one," she sniffed, but I heard jealousy in her voice and that made me grin.

"He is," I agreed, claiming him as my boyfriend for the first time.

I grabbed my stuff from my locker and went back out into the salon. Crash slung his arm over my shoulder and kissed me hard, right in front of all of my co-workers and all of the brides. His hand wandered down to cup my ass to him and I flung my arms over his shoulders and pulled him closer, the pent-up wanting of being away from him all day spilling over into my kiss. Everyone was watching me be a complete slut, but I just didn’t care one bit.

"Where are we going?" I gasped when he finally broke free.

He pulled me close to him and pushed open the door. The spring air was soft on my face, the faintest winter chill still apparent in the breeze, but the sun shone full on my face with the promise of summer.

"Up to the reservoir, I thought," he said, swinging his good leg over the seat. "Hop on, babe."

I hesitated. "Never done this before," I confessed.

"Well, put your helmet on first," he told me.

"How come you don't wear one?" I asked him.

"No reason," he answered sharply. His mouth went taut for a second, and I wondered what he was thinking. With a great effort he smoothed the angry line of his lips back into his beautiful smile.  "You ready?"

When Crash didn't want to talk about something, he plain didn't talk about it. It was something I was trying to learn to respect, and the more I considered it, the more I liked the idea of it.  Not opening yourself up for others to scrutinize; that appealed to me. Everyone would have their opinions of you anyway, why give them more fodder?

I liked that.
Don't let the sons of bitches get you down.

I mashed the helmet down over my curls, sighing when I realized how much this was going to cost me in terms of hair maintenance. If Crash wanted to take me riding more often, maybe I would go ahead and think about braids.

"Are you ready?" Crash called back to me.

"Yup!" I shouted way too loudly.

"Babe?"

"Yeah?"

"You're going to have to hold on to me," he said, and I could hear the grin in his voice. I didn't even have to look at him to know that the mischievous smile was plastered all over his face.

"Oh man, really?" I teased. "That totally sucks." I snaked my hands around my waist and copped a very gratuitous feel of his abs.

"Well, shit, why did I wait so long to do this?" he murmured, pressing backwards into my breasts and making me laugh.  If he didn't start this machine soon, I was going to climb around and straddle him right here in the parking lot.

But then he did and the noise of it made me shriek like the worst caricature of a girly-girl I could be. The whole bike burst to life like a wild thing underneath me, shuddering and roaring like some great beast. I clutched Crash as hard as I could and I felt, rather than heard, his laughter.

He pulled away slowly, letting me get used to the strange feeling of being exposed to the elements. It felt like we were moving at light speed, the wind smacking me in the face, but we were only creeping forward, reflected in the plate glass windows of the bridal salon. I could not see inside, only our reflection; me straddling a roaring hunk of chrome with my arms wrapped tightly around the drop-dead sexy guy I was starting to think of as my man.  I liked what I saw.

I liked it a whole hell of a lot.

"Go faster!" I shouted in Crash's ear, and he nodded. We surged forward, and I let out a whoop, half in fear, half in excitement. The vibrations rattling me, the wind hitting my face; it all overloaded me at once. I clung to Crash, feeling his solid body under my hands, the smell of his leather jacket and of
him
filling my nostrils. I was alive, I was so fucking happy.

Shit, I think I'm falling in love.

Once I thought it, it became all-consuming. The urge to announce it, to declare it, was so damn deep it was primal. The words came bubbling up on my lips so fast that I had to clap my mouth closed before they escaped and betrayed me.
Not now. I wasn't ready. It couldn't be.
It's too soon, it's too damn complicated.

Shit.

Chapter Twenty

Crash

The road wound up to the reservoir like it was taking its sweet ass time to get there, but I didn't mind at all. Gabi was holding on to me so tightly it would take a crowbar to get her loose, and she had me half-hard because of it. Swear to Christ, my cock hadn't calmed down since I met her. Her tits, her voice on the phone, fuck even her grumpy little face when her alarm went off, everything about her had me rock hard and ready, twenty-four seven.

The trees up here were still bare and some instinct made me turn my head to the right. Glinting in the distance, winking through the trees like a mirage, was the glittering skyline of New York City.

Gabi shouted something and pointed, and I nodded at the delight in her voice. Making her happy made me so fucking happy it was ridiculous. And Gabi was so damn easy to please. The smallest things delighted her; her foofy coffee drinks, the way the sun reflected in a puddle, her favorite song coming on the radio.

And me.

For some lucky reason, I managed to be something that made her happy too. I didn't know why, and I didn't know how long it would last, but for right now I cherished my newfound powers.

The skyline veered away as we rounded a bend, and the reservoir finally came into view. I pulled off into a paved overlook and killed the motor, letting that moment of silence ring in my ears for a moment.

"Wow," Gabi sighed behind me.

"What's wow?" I slid off the bike and reached out a hand to help her.

She looked at me from under those heavy black lashes, her dark brown eyes full of mischief and teasing. "That was wow, you idiot. I've never ridden a motorcycle before."

"Did you like it?" I asked, wanting to see her smile.

I was rewarded with a wide grin and felt the corners of my own mouth tug upward. Jesus, this girl man, she was just, fucking magic or something. "Yeah, I'd say I liked it." She slithered off the seat and hopped towards me, planting a kiss right on my lips. I grabbed her and pulled her flush against me, lifting her by her lovely ass. She squealed and wrapped her legs around my waist, kissing me hard. It started out playful, but as she kissed me, it softened into something deeper.

I pulled back and looked up at her in my arms. There was a far-away look in her eyes. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she sighed, sliding back down, not meeting my eyes. I recognized that look. She wanted to say something to me, but she didn't know how. Fine. I got that.

"Tell me when you find the words," I said, brushing my hand up her back.

"I will," she said, practically choking. Then she shook her hair free of the helmet and fluffed out that wild mane of hers. "So I have a demand. It's not a request," she told me, taking my hand and leading me over to a grassy area next to the water.

"And what's that?"

"You need to teach me to ride," she said earnestly. "Like, right now. I must get a bike, like yesterday."

I laughed. "Is that it? I thought it'd be something hard."

"It's not hard?"

"Well...," I hedged and poked her. "It's not hard...for me."