Stepbrother: Moving In/Moving Out (8 page)

I pause for a little too long. My lips tremble as I try to speak.

“Wait—” She holds up a hand. “Honestly, I don’t want to know…”

“No. We’re not together, Mom,” I say.

I’m not lying. We were together before. But we aren’t now. It pains me to think about it, but it’s on my mind twenty-four hours a day. It takes every piece of willpower I have not to kiss him goodnight.

“Well, that’s a relief.”

I force a smile.

She swings her large purse over her shoulder and lingers next to me by the door. “Maybe you should take a few days off from your classes,” she says as she feels my forehead again. “Go back when you feel better.”

“Maybe,” I say. “Thanks again for the couch.”

“Thank your stepfather — I used
his
credit card.” My mother chuckles at her own joke. “Love you, honey. Tell Seth I love him, too.”

“I will,” I say as I close the door behind her.

Once she’s gone, I make myself comfortable on the new couch. It’s bouncy, but firm. A nice, perfect addition to the apartment.

I prop my feet up on the coffee table and lean back to watch a talk show as the door opens again.

“Hey,” I greet him as he walks inside.

“Hey—” Seth says. He pauses briefly to look up at the new couch.

“Mom just dropped it off,” I tell him.

“Yeah, I know. I saw her downstairs.” He doesn’t look up at me. He outright refuses. It’s been like this for two whole weeks. It’s almost nostalgic. It’s the same cold shoulder he gave me when we were growing up.

“It’s pretty comfortable.” I pat the cushions around me. “Try it out.”

“Maybe some other time.” He walks off down the hall and shuts the door to his room behind him.

I fight the urge to shout at him, just like I had for the last few days. He’s been acting like a child, but in all honesty, I don’t blame him. He wanted me for years. Then he had me. But I ripped his heart out.

He’s angry at me. I thought he would have shown a little sign of getting over it by now. But I still get nothing but his frown every time we cross paths.

I stand up from the couch and walk down the hall towards his room. My blood pumps through my veins as I walk, tricking me into going through with it this time. I want to tell him off, to show him that I’m not an enemy. But as I raise my hand to knock on his door, I’m struck by a wave of nausea. It hits me like a brick and I find myself racing across the hall to the bathroom.

I spew the contents of my stomach out into the toilet. My forehead’s on fire. My muscles lock. Tears fall down my cheeks. Pain shoots through my core as my abdominals contract wildly.

“Mina—” I hear Seth’s voice in the doorway. “Whoa, whoa—”

His hands grip my hair and he holds it back until my body settles itself. I sit down on the floor slowly and lean against the wall across from the toilet.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

I shake my head a little. “I don’t know where that came from.”

Seth stands up and wets a wash cloth with cool water. “You’ve been feeling sick.”

“You’ve noticed?” I ask.

He kneels down and hands me the damp cloth. “Of course I have.”

I press the cloth against my forehead. My head won’t stop throbbing and I can hear my heart beating in my ears. “Seth…” I say as I wipe away the sudden tears. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re just sick—”

“No,” I stop him. “I mean…
I’m sorry.
”

“You don’t have to worry about that right now.”

“No, I want to. I’ve been wanting to say it for days.” I look up at him. Even now, through a blanket of tears, he’s so beautiful. His eyes are soft and full of love. “I opened up to you too fast.”

“No — Mina…” He settles down onto the floor next to me. “You were right. It was too dangerous to stay together.”

“I’m sorry things went too far,” I say.

“I’m not,” he says. “Mina, those few days with you were the best in my whole life.”

I wipe my lips with the damp cloth. “Yeah, they weren’t so bad for me either.”

“Mina, I don’t want to rush you into anything you don’t want,” he says. “If you don’t want to be with me now, then that’s fine. But I want you to know that I’ll always be here if you change your mind. I don’t care how long it takes. Even if we’re both seventy years old and can’t remember our names.”

I laugh and take a deep breath. My stomach churns from the sudden movement. “It doesn’t seem fair to you.”

“Yeah, and that honestly makes me angry.” He nods his head. “But I’ll get over it.”

I want to say something more, but I force myself over the toilet again. Seth reacts quickly and holds my body in place as I shake back and forth with each dry heave.

“You sure you’re okay?” Seth asks as I lean back down.

“I must have eaten something,” I say as I wipe my lips again.

“Mina,” he says. “Are you sure you’re not…”

My brain reacts slowly, but when it finally hits me, I feel another rushing wave of nausea crush me.

“Oh, shit,” I sigh.

Chapter 5

“This is bad…” I say. “This is really bad.”

I pace back and forth in the living room.

“Well, slow down,” Seth says from the couch. “We don’t know anything for sure.”

“No — I know,” I say firmly. “I
know
. I can feel it.”

“This early?” he asks as he eyes my belly.

“No,” I shake my head and place a hand on my stomach. “Not like feel
it.
But feel it — like instinct.”

“Oh…”

“I can’t have a baby right now!” For some reason, I can’t stop fixing my hair. No matter what style I put it up in, it never feels right. I pull my hair tie out and let the pony tail fall down. “I’m in college. I barely know how to handle being an adult. I don’t know the first thing about taking care of
another
person
.”

“Relax, Mina.” Seth pats the empty seat next to him. “Sit down.”

“No, I can’t sit down,” I say. “I have to fix this. I have to know for sure.”

“Mina, you’re not alone here,” he says. I come to stand still as he reaches out and grabs my hand. “Do you hear me? You are not alone.”

I let him pull me down to the couch. “I’m not?” I ask.

He holds me in both arms and pulls me against his chest. “It’s you and me,” he says.

A weight lifts off my shoulders. “I thought maybe I had pushed you away too much,” I say.

His lips curl into a smile and he kisses my head. “Not possible.”

“Oh, shit!” I sit up quickly.

“What?” he asks.

“What if…” I can’t even bring myself to say it.

“What?”

I turn to him. “Carter.”

He takes a deep breathe. “The possibility did cross my mind,” he says and shrugs. “I thought it would have been me because of that night in the bell tower.”

“Yeah,” I say. “But… he and I didn’t use protection either.”

“Oh,” he says. His gaze drops to the floor. “Aren’t you on the pill, too?”

I nod. “Everyday… you know,” I pause, “maybe I’m not pregnant. Maybe I really did pick up a bug somewhere.”

Seth shows a small grin. “So much for your instincts,” he jokes.

“Maybe we’re overreacting too prematurely.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

I fill my lungs with air. The nausea I felt earlier has completely subsided. My abs burn a little, but for the most part, I feel normal. “It was probably just food poisoning.”

“We should get a test to know for sure,” he suggests.

“Right, yeah.” I stand up and grab my coat off the rack. “I should do that now.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” he asks.

“No, I’ll be all right.” I wave a hand at him. “I’ll be right back.”

I don’t wait for him to react. I’m out the door as fast as I can move. With my shoes in hand, I stumble down the hallway, tripping over myself as I attempt to continue walking and slip them on my feet at the same time. There’s no time to think about anything else. I’m a girl on a mission. Pregnant or not pregnant? That was the question and I had the means to solve it. If it’s negative, then life goes on. But if it’s positive… Well, I’ll handle that if I get there.

I walk as fast as I can down the block. There’s a pharmacy on the corner, one that I knew well. It was a quick and ideal place near campus that most students used to stock up on condoms and caffeine pills. I keep my head down as I walk inside and make my way towards the back where they keep the pregnancy tests.

I stand in the aisle silently. My eyes glance over the numerous options of pregnancy tests. I never realized before how many brands there were. Which was best? Is there really a difference? I mean, no matter what, you just pee on it. But there must be a quality difference between the more expensive and cheaper brands. Do I go with a digital readout or one that changes colors?

“Mina?”

I look up quickly and see Carter himself staring at me over the top of the shelf.

“Carter!” I say in surprise. I smile wide. “Hey! It’s good to see you.” He looks the same as he always did, except now he sports a short beard.

He returns my smile. “It is?” he asks as he rounds the corner to stand in front of me.

I think for a moment. “Yeah, actually.” It feels strange, but I am genuinely happy to see him. “I see you’re rocking a beard now.”

Carter runs a hand over his face. “Yeah, well… didn’t feel like shaving for a few days there — or doing much of anything really.”

“Sorry…” I say.

He shrugs it off. “Then I kind of just liked it, so I kept it.”

“Well, it suites you.”

“Thanks.” He eyes the shelf next to me. “So… what brings you here?”

I glance at the shelf, but quickly turn away. “Oh, just picking up a few things—”

“Mina…”

“I’m all out of aspirin and I’ve been running around here trying to find it—”

“Mina…” he interrupts again. “You’re a terrible liar.”

I flinch, but keep my smile. “You know me too well.”

“Are you okay?” he asks. His eyes bounce from me to the shelf and back again. It’s a loaded question, one that I don’t have an answer to in the moment.

“I don’t know,” I say.

“Do you need anything?”

I shake my head. “No.”

“So, you have everything under control?”

A smile curls over my lips again. “Yes.”

“Good,” he says. “It
is
good to see you, too.”

“Thank you.”

I watch him spin around and walk away from me down the aisle.

***

The longest three minutes of my life.

I can hear Seth pacing back and forth outside the bathroom door. “Seth, stop doing that!” I shout. The shuffling of his feet falls silent.

“Sorry.”

I chuckle a little and stare even harder at the plastic stick. The digital display flashes repeatedly, signaling a ticking clock. It feels like an eternity has gone by since the countdown first began.

And finally, the flashing stops.

I hesitate a moment before glancing once more at the display.

Not pregnant.

I’m not pregnant.

I let out a slow breath and don’t stop until all of the air has expelled from my lungs.

“Mina?” Seth asks.

I open the door and look at him. He’s been chewing on his fingernail. His finger lingers between his teeth. His eyes are so full of concern and excitement. I keep my gaze fixed on them as I say the words.

“I’m not pregnant.”

Seth drops his hand from his lips. “Okay then,” he says.

We come together and hold each other in a warm embrace.

Chapter 6

Another night of restless sleep. I can’t get comfortable. I fidget underneath the covers, lying in wait for the sandman to come and get me. But my mind won’t allow me to dream.

Just as I’m about to get up and find something to do, I hear my door open slightly.

“Seth?” I ask in the dark. I swing over my bed and flick on my lamp.

“Are you awake?” he asks from the doorway.

“Yes. I can’t sleep.” I look at him in the dim light.

“Can I come in?” He wears a white tank top and a pair of pajama pants. I feel slightly nude in my nightgown, one that leaves little to the imagination with how low cut it is. I keep my blanket pulled up around me.

“Sure.”

He closes the door behind him. “Mina, I have to say something to you.”