Stepbrother Romance 2 - Consumed: A New Adult Alpha Billionaire Romance (8 page)

Yes, he was married.

Yes, this was wrong. So wrong.

But ohmygod, was he beautiful. And powerful.

And he wanted me. Desperately.

And I wanted him too. Just as much. I was haunted. Every night. Every day. Every hour. Of memories of that one time, the only time we’d been together.

“You’re married,” I whispered, more to remind myself than to remind him. I pulled my hand away from his crotch, even though I would have rather plunged it under his shorts and gripped that thick length, feel the velvety skin against my palm.

“Technically, yes. I am,” he said, not backing away. “But I’ve filed for divorce. I’m just waiting for the final court date.”

He’d filed for a divorce.

“You’re getting divorced?” I repeated, afraid to believe what I’d just heard. I had heard him right, correct? That was what he’d said? Kent said he was getting a divorce. He was going to court. And once that was done, he wouldn’t be unfaithful if he…if we…he wouldn’t be cheating on a wife.

He would be free to do what he wished.

That was good. Because for some reason it seemed we just could not stay away from each other. The harder we fought, the harder I fought, the worse it got. Kent Payne was not a simple man. He was complicated. He was beautiful and he was infuriating. He was generous. He was protective. And he was also cruel. Loving him was not easy.  But losing him…? I couldn’t bear the thought.

My heart jumped. A smile pulled at my cheeks but just as quickly it faded as my thoughts raced.

Just because he would be free, did that mean I should pursue him?

Wasn’t he still a cheater? Yes, he was. He’d fucked me before his divorce was final.

And
he was my stepbrother. Surely the fact that our parents were married would look really bad, especially for him, since he was a hot shot business tycoon. People like that cared about their reputations, didn’t they?

Then again, Kent had entertained a parade of women in his house while he’d been married. Surely the press had gotten wind of that. But he hadn’t cared. So maybe he wasn’t so concerned about his reputation.

“I don’t know what to say,” I told him as I stared at his beautiful face.

He leaned closer, his eyes locked on my mouth. “You don’t need to say anything right now.” He cupped the back of my head and sealed his lips to mine.

His kiss was a tender seduction. With lips, teeth, and tongue he made me forget every reason why I shouldn’t be kissing him. All that remained was his hard bulk pressed against me. His heat. And his intoxicating flavor.

When my lips parted to release a sigh, his tongue swept into my mouth. His hands held me at my waist, pulling me against him and holding me there. His erection was a hard, hot lump, pressing against my stomach and igniting a spark deep inside.

Within seconds a steady throbbing ache was pounding between my legs and I was desperate to make it go away. I wrapped my arms around his neck and clung to him. My hips rocked back and forth, back and forth in a vain effort to rub my swollen center against him.

Oh God, this was what I’d been waiting for since that day so long ago. Every nerve in my body was electrified. I wanted him. Desperately. I wanted him to throw me onto his bed and thrust his thick, hard cock deep inside. I wanted him to keep telling me how he couldn’t stop himself, how he was consumed by me.

I wanted him to tell me he loved me. That he couldn’t live another day without me. That he wanted me to be his wife. And that he would never touch another woman again.

Was any of that possible? Did I dare hope?

More importantly, if all those things did happen, would the reality live up to the fantasy?

I was doomed.

My heart was leading me down a road I knew I shouldn’t take. My body was in rebellion. It wanted no less than complete satisfaction, despite my mind’s feeble and failing attempt at taking control.

I knew everything about this situation was wrong.
Everything.
First, and most importantly, Kent was still legally married. And second, he was my stepbrother, and although we weren’t related by blood, and our parents had married when we were adults, any relationship beyond a friendship would be viewed by many people as weird or sick. Ultimately, if we were to fall in love and eventually marry, what kind of trouble would we face?

I wasn’t the kind of girl who constructed my life around the opinions of others—with the exception of my mom. I cared what she thought. But this was different. I’d never strayed too far outside the lines of socially acceptable behavior. I’d never pushed those boundaries. Not even as a teenager, when it was sort of expected.

But I found myself in this situation now, and I couldn’t help it.

To describe why I felt such strong and conflicting emotions for Kent would be like trying to describe why I loved my favorite song. There were so many complicated and contradictory things going on in my head and heart these days. At times, just a look from him could make me melt. At others, he made me so angry and hurt I wanted to hurt him back.

The sad thing was I knew that sounded unhealthy, even admitting those things to myself.

If Ransom had said something like that about one of her boyfriends, I wouldn’t have been able to hold my tongue. I would have told her the relationship wasn’t healthy; she needed to end it. ASAP.

So what was I doing?

Diving. Into a small tank with one very hungry shark. With my eyes wide open. That was what I was doing.

We were on Kent’s deck right now, staring into each other’s’ eyes. He’d just kissed me and told me he wanted me so badly he couldn’t control it.

A million thoughts were racing through my head right now. My heart was slamming against my breastbone like a sledgehammer.

We had a choice. We could stop all of this right now—or at least try to stop it. Or we could accept the inevitable. Kent had already admitted what I could not. We were both prisoners. Of our own desires. We’ve been taken over. By emotions so powerful we could not contain them, no matter how hard we tried.

The fact was I loved Kent. I loved him like I’d never loved another man. When we were apart, I felt this nagging emptiness inside. As time passed, the sensation eased a little, but it never went away. And when we were together again, I felt so many things, all at once, it was overwhelming, even after we’d been apart for months.

When I was with Kent Payne I was more alive in every sense of the word. I didn’t want that to end. Ever. I wanted to belong to him. And I wanted him to belong to me. Even though I shouldn’t.

But, as much as I wanted to belong to him, I couldn’t let that happen. Not until I understood one thing.

“Let’s talk.” He took my hand in his and led me to the nearby sitting area with a comfy couch. I sat and he sat next to me.

Maybe this was my chance, to get the answers I needed.

“Talk about what?” I asked.

“Anything you want to. I need to cool off for a minute, before things get out of control. I told myself I would not let that happen again.”

Would not let
that
happen again? What did he mean by that? Sex?

Sighing, he let his head fall back and closed his eyes.

Okay, this was it. My chance to gather my thoughts and ask the questions that had been ping-ponging through my head. Without the distraction of throbbing, pounding need blasting through me.

“Why are you divorcing your wife?” I asked as he swung an arm over my shoulders and tucked me against him, holding me gently but firmly. I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes and just enjoyed the moment. It felt so good being in his arms. So right. Especially like this. In the dark, quiet night. With nobody around to judge us or tell us what we felt was wrong or dirty. How I wished it could be like this all the time, that we could be free to be together.

“Why do you want to know? Are you worried it’s because of you?”

“No. Yes. Maybe a little.”

He cupped my chin, turned it until I was looking at his face. “It isn’t because of you, Shayne. At least, not entirely.”

Not entirely? What did that mean? “Will you tell me why?”

He stared into my eyes for several seconds, searching for something. I wasn’t sure what. Then he released my chin and dropped his gaze. Whatever he was about to say, it was painful. He couldn’t look me in the eye and say it. “My wife never loved me. She only loved my bank account.”

That didn’t exactly jive with what I’d heard, and I wasn’t going to let it go. After all, Kent was the one who said we could talk about anything. I needed the truth. All of it.  “Zack told me you were married a long time ago. Before you became wealthy.”

“That’s true. But even then she knew I would accomplish more than the guy she really loved. He didn’t graduate from high school. He’s not the ambitious kind. After the hell of her upbringing, she needed money and financial stability to feel safe. But she wanted love too. And I guess she couldn’t have them with one man, with me. So she went to him for love and married me for the money.”

Then
she
had been unfaithful? Kent’s wife? Since the beginning of their marriage? Long before I’d had sex with him. Yes, there was more than one side to this story. Just as I’d hoped.

As far as his wife falling in love with the other man, I was trying hard not to be judgmental, because I knew a man with no money could be just as kind and loving and good as a man who had more than enough. But it sounded like she’d fallen in love with the wrong guy for more than one reason. Kent had proven to be more than a bastard with a big dick and an even bigger bank account. A lot more. Surely she should have seen that by now.

Obviously my mother didn’t know about Kent’s wife’s lover. I had a feeling Kent’s pride had kept him from telling her. And everyone else, for that matter. He’d rather they thought he was a total asshole than admit he’d married a woman who didn’t love him.

How sad was that?

I grabbed his free hand and gave it a squeeze, wanting him to know I was there to support him, to give him the love he had been missing for years. “Where is she now?” I asked. “Why haven’t I seen her?”

“She’s been living with him for a couple of years. In the condo I pay for, on the other side of town. They’re expecting a child. But I hadn’t bothered to divorce her, not even when I learned she was pregnant. I didn’t see any reason to.”

“Really?” This blew my mind. This man was financially supporting not only his estranged wife but also the man who was fucking her. And she was pregnant. And, to top it off, hadn’t my mom told me this same woman had demanded I move out of Kent’s house? That had been one of the reasons why Kent had bought me a house. He’d done it in response to her demand.

Why? Was this guy for real? Was he truly that generous? That forgiving? Or was he hiding something?

Oh God, what should I believe?

I was afraid to accept his explanation at face value. What if he was just telling me what he thought I wanted to hear?

Then again, why would he lie? He didn’t need to, if all he was after was sex. He was the one who’d stopped at a kiss tonight. He was the one who was saying he wouldn’t have sex with me again.

I asked, “Why would you stay married to a woman like that? I don’t know anyone who would put up with it, let alone support her and her lover.”

“Because in my eyes there’s only one reason to get a divorce.”

When he didn’t elaborate, I asked, “And what would that be…?” because clearly it wasn’t infidelity.

“The only reason to divorce is to allow one or both partners to marry someone else. She was content to keep things the way they were, since the father of her child can’t marry her. And I never had any intention of marrying again.”

“But then you
did
file for divorce. So what does that mean?”

He didn’t answer right away. The silence was absolute torture.

He looked me directly in the eye and said, “Let’s just say lately a certain woman has made me reconsider my thoughts on a lot of things.” He squeezed my hand.

My heart swelled to at least twice its normal size. The
certain woman
was me.  Me! Just knowing that the notion of marrying someone else had not only occurred to Kent, but he’d actually taken action to make it possible cast everything in a totally different light. Kent’s feelings for me were strong enough for him to consider something he’d previously dismissed.

He shifted, turning his body to face me. “But Shayne, I don’t want you to read too much into this. I’m not ready to make any kind of commitment to you, or anyone, for that matter. There’s still a lot we need to deal with. And, to be honest, I’m not sure it’s possible to overcome some of the issues we’ll be facing.”

“Well, it’s not like I’m expecting a proposal right now,” I told him, smiling, even though my heart was thumping too hard and too fast.

“I know, but I think you wouldn’t mind hearing some things I can’t say yet.” He cupped my face and looked deep into my eyes. “I can’t tell you I love you, Shayne. As much as you want to hear it. I want you. Desperately. Because I want you to be mine. All mine and only mine. The thought of another man touching you makes me crazy. But that isn’t love. I can’t love you. Not yet. Not until I’ve dealt with some things first. I can’t be the man you deserve until then.”

I would be lying if I didn’t admit, if only to myself, that I was a tiny bit disappointed by what he said. He didn’t love me. I was crazy in love with him. But I had to respect his honesty. If I didn’t, I risked him lying to me in the future. And, above all else, I needed him to feel he could be honest with me about anything.

He added, “And I will not take you again. Not until we can belong to one another, if that’s at all possible. It isn’t fair to you.”

My mood sank even lower.

With Mom and Dirk’s house in ruins, I would be sleeping in the room next to Kent’s again. Close to him. Too close. Every night, I would ache for his touch. Every hour I would hunger for his kiss.  I would see him. I would smell him. But I couldn’t touch him? It would be pure torture.

Making matters worse, soon Kent would be free. He was filing divorce so he might possibly, someday, be married again. That was one huge hurdle cleared. One less reason why we couldn’t be together.

But I couldn’t hug him? Couldn’t kiss him? Couldn’t touch him?

How would I survive?

“That isn’t to say I can’t touch you, can’t kiss you, can’t make you scream my name as you come,” he added. “Because I don’t think I can live without your touch, your kiss.”

Well, that lifted my sagging spirits a little. He wanted me. He longed for me. And he wasn’t going to make me totally suffer. At least I would have his kiss, his touch. If I had to wait for the rest, well, I could wait. Though it would be hard. Really hard. But some things were worth a little pain and agony, right?

We would find a way to be together. It had to work. Somehow.

I told him, “I understand, Kent. Thank you. For being honest. I don’t want you to feel you have to keep secrets from me anymore. If there’s something you need to tell me then please do it.”

“Are you real?” he asked as he cupped my face. “Tell me the truth. You can’t be. You’re too fucking good to be real.”

“No, I’m real. Every inch of me.”

“Every luscious, delicious, perfect inch.” He tugged me toward him and kissed me again.

Instantly, my body flamed with desire.

But there could be no sex.

Ugh. He wasn’t making this easy.

I whimpered, my lips parting, and his tongue slipped inside, filling my mouth with decadent flavor. As his mouth did things to mine that made me breathless, his hands slid up my back, fingers curling into the hair at my nape.

“Shayne,” he whispered between thrusts of his tongue.