Stepbrother With Benefits 12 (Second Season) (7 page)

"Who's Enkidu?" my mom asks.

"Yeah, I have no clue, either," Ethan says.

"It's a long story," Ethan's dad says, grinning at me.

"Old, too," I say.  "One of the oldest, they say."

My stepdad nods.  This is fun.  I didn't know he knew anything about ancient mythology, but it's nice to have a shared secret.  It's kind of fun, you know?  It's just a silly secret, nothing serious, but it's nice.  I feel like...

I don't know.  I feel like we're closer.  All of us.  Not just myself and Ethan, but I feel closer with my mom, too, and now I feel closer with Ethan's dad, also.  And I think Ethan feels the same way.  I think we all do.  I think we all are.

This is good.  This is a great camping trip, and it's only just started.  There's more.  There's going to be a lot more.

"It's from the first known written story," Ethan's dad says to my mom.  They're walking again, heading to the showers.  "
The Epic of Gilgamesh.
  Enkidu was kind of like Gilgamesh's rival and enemy at first, but then they became friends.  It's an interesting story, but hard to compare to anything today.  It's different."

They go into the showers, leaving us to ourselves.  Before they vanish behind a closed shower stall door, my mom waves to us both.

"We'll see you two soon!" she says.  "Don't get into too much trouble."

"Yeah, you hear that?" Ethan says to me.  "No trouble, Princess.  Don't even try it."

"Me?" I say, acting innocent.

This isn't hard, because I'm most certainly the innocent one here!  Ethan's the bad one.  I don't even get into trouble.  I'm very good, of course.

We start walking and play fighting about who is the troublemaker.  I don't think I am, because what sort of trouble have I ever started?  Ethan tries to say that I make him want to cause trouble, which means that it's my fault if he does cause trouble, and I don't think that's true.  It sounds like he's just making stuff up, and I'm pretty sure he is.

Caleb is waiting for us, with Hero, too.  Hero's sitting in front of Caleb.  Caleb glances over at us as we walk towards him.  He has an excited look on his face.

"Alright... Hero!" he says to the dog.  "Shake?"

Hero gives him a funny look.  He doesn't look like he's going to do anything at first.  Caleb's excitement progressively dwindles, until he's mostly back to a sort of unexcited stare, but...

Then Hero holds out his paw.  His tongue lolls out, too.  He looks very much like a goofy dog, which I think is probably the truth.

Caleb shakes hands with Hero quick, then turns to Ethan.

"See!  I'm definitely cool now, right?"

Ethan purses his lips and furrows his brow, staring hard at Caleb, saying nothing.

"You said that he only listened to cool people and he listened to me so that means I'm cool?" Caleb says.

"If you have to ask if you're cool, it means you aren't cool," Ethan says.

"What?  Are you for real?"

"Sorry, kid.  Better luck next time."

Caleb takes a deep breath and sighs, disappointed.  It's a silly sort of disappointment, though.  It makes me laugh.  Ethan grins, too.  Caleb smiles, and we're all back to normal.  Even Hero barks, excited.

"Yeah, so," Ethan says, "What's this I hear about some girl?  You've got a crush on her or something?"

"Oh, uh... she's just a friend, really," Caleb says, mumbling.

"And you really like her," I say, reaffirming what he told me the other day.  "She's nice to you, isn't she?"

"Well, yeah, she's nice, but I don't think she likes me like that."

"Let's just see about that," Ethan says.

"What?  What do you mean?"

"You have her number, right?  Let's go call her."

"Yeah, I have her number, but... I mean, she's probably busy or something.  She won't want to talk to me right now.  She's got art things to do."

"Fuck, she's one of those art chicks?" Ethan asks.  "I can't fucking stand them."

"She's really good!" Caleb says, defending his crush.  "She's different.  She doesn't take herself too seriously.  It's not like she thinks she's better than everyone or anything."

"Nah, she's probably bad," Ethan says.  "Actually, she's probably the worst.  I hate her already."

"You don't even know her, Ethan!" Caleb says, standing tall.  "She's amazing and wonderful and smart and pretty, and..."

"Fuck, man, if this girl is so amazing, why the fuck are you waiting to ask her on a date?  Some other guy's going to do it before you, and then where the fuck does that leave you?"

"Uh... what?"

"I'm pretty sure she's the worst," Ethan says, nodding.  "If you think she's so fucking perfect, what the hell are you waiting for?"

"It's not like she's here, though," Caleb says, wavering.

"You've got her phone number, dude!  Call her ass!  What the fuck?"

"I... uh... do you think I should, though?"

"What the fuck did I just say?"

"You really should!" I tell him.  "I bet she's interested in you but she's shy."

"I really doubt she's shy," Caleb says.  "I don't even think she knows how to be shy."

"Well, let's find out," Ethan says.  "Lead the way to a phone or something.  We'll help you out.  If she's the worst, don't say I didn't warn you, though.  I'm not taking the blame for this."

"She's not the worst, Ethan!  She's the best!"

They keep fighting and arguing even while Caleb leads us to a log cabin a little bit away from the front office area.  I laugh and follow along.  Sneaky, very sneakily... I reach for Ethan's hand.  He notices, and he grabs my hand in his, holding tight.  We walk like that, hand in hand, while Caleb begins to tell us all of the amazing things he likes about Scarlet.

––––––––

T
he campground owner's cabin is small, but nice.  Caleb opens the door and we step inside, immediately entering an open living room.  It takes up most of the first floor, and goes all the way up to the ceiling of the second.  Past a partial wall at the far end, I spot a little kitchen nook area.

"Uh, this is it, here," Caleb says, kind of showing us around.

Mostly he just waves his hands in the vicinity of the living room, which is basically just a couch, a big screen TV in front of that, and I think there's a bathroom in the back?  It looks nice and rustic, but it's very simple, too.

"Yeah, house, whatever," Ethan says.  "Where's the phone, kid?  We going to call this girl or what?"

"I was trying to be polite!" Caleb says, glaring at Ethan.

"It's a very nice house, Caleb," I say, hoping to defuse the situation.

"It is pretty cool," Ethan says.  "We can hang out here later or whatever.  With your new girlfriend.  Let's call her first and get her here, then we can figure the rest out.  I like your couch, dude.  Looks like a great place to pretend to watch a movie and then make out with a girl."

Caleb was still glaring at Ethan at first, ready to say something in defense of... whatever Ethan said, but now he's pale and he keeps glancing to his feet, then the couch, then strange sidelong looks at Ethan.

"Um... I really doubt she's going to come here, though," Caleb says.  "She's a few hours away.  And I don't think she's going to be my girlfriend, Ethan.  Not just like that.  There's more to it, isn't there?  I can't just ask her to watch a movie and then... then... uh... kiss her?  On the couch?"

I kind of agree with Caleb, but Ethan apparently doesn't.

"What the fuck, why not?" Ethan asks.

"Uh... because?" Caleb says.

"That's not even an answer.  Seriously, you aren't really this hopeless, are you?"

"Caleb isn't like you, Ethan," I say.  "Maybe he wants to take things a little slower?"

"I can take things slow," Ethan says, straight-faced.

That's when I start to laugh.  I can't help it!  I try to stop, but then Ethan just looks at me even more confused, and that makes me laugh more.

"Listen," Ethan says, trying to explain himself.  "I've gone slow.  We've only had like... maybe one or two quickies the entire time we've been doing this whole stepbrother with benefits thing and then the dating thing, too."

Caleb scrunches up his brow and stares at Ethan.  "Stepbrother with benefits?  What the heck?"

"It's a long story," I tell him.  And then to Ethan, I say, "Ethan, this isn't about having sex fast or going slow, it's about waiting to have sex at all.  Some people like to take their time and wait a few days or weeks or sometimes even months.  I know that sounds crazy, but..."

Ethan's eyes get wider at the mention of
days
, and they progressively grow wider still when I say
weeks
, and then
months.
  He looks completely confounded and disbelieving in all of this.  I just shake my head at him and sigh.

"You're joking, right?  Who waits months?" Ethan asks.  Seriously, he doesn't believe me!  "Yeah, I mean, if you're a Catholic priest or something, I guess."

"Catholic priests don't have sex at all, Ethan!  They take vows!"

"What the fuck, I know they take vows, but that's, uh... it's not forever... it's..."

"It's forever," I tell him.  "
Forever
forever.  That's the entire point."

"That's weird," he says.  "I don't even understand."

"You're weird," I say.  "Now leave Caleb alone and let him take his time if he wants to.  Maybe he needs to feel comfortable before he makes out with Scarlet."

Ethan keeps shaking his head and mumbling to himself, something about not even understanding or not being able to figure any of this out.  I don't think I'm supposed to laugh, but I do.  It's like his entire reality has been shattered, except I'm pretty sure Ethan's the only one who could ever have believed in this sort of reality in the first place.

I go up to him and give him a hug to reassure him.  "It's fine," I say.  "I don't expect you to take any vows of celibacy."

"It's just... you watch those movies, right?" he says.  "Horror movies in the woods, where there's campgrounds.  There's plenty of them.  Scary shit right there, but... usually I'm fine... this is scary, though, Princess."

"Oh, poor baby," I say, squeezing him close to me.  I think that's what Ethan needs right now; breasts pressed tight against him to remind him that the world isn't filled with sexless horrors.  "It's alright.  Just remember what we did in the shower.  Don't think about anything else."

That's apparently a really bad thing to say to my boyfriend with benefits over here, because now I can feel his growing erection pressing tight against me.  To make matters worse, Ethan grabs my ass and squeezes tight, pulling me even closer.

"Ethan!" I hiss.  "Um, Caleb's right there?"

"Caleb!" Ethan says, snapping out of it.  "Hey, let's go call that girl?"

"Are you two alright?" Caleb asks, giving us a funny look.  "What did you mean before about the shower?  I thought you said you were just going to take a shower, Ashley?  Nothing else, uh... wait..."

"We were just taking a shower, Caleb!" I shout.

"Yeah, Caleb," Ethan says.  "Fuck, man, can't you focus here?  We've got to call that girl.  Where's your phone?"

––––––––

T
he phone's upstairs, which I guess is cool.  Easier and more private or something.  Caleb shows us the way, and we climb the stairs.  There's two loft-style bedrooms up here, one on either side of the cabin, with a walkway between them.  Just outside the bedrooms there's a really cool looking bannister or balcony or whatever the fuck you want to call it.  You can look down into the living room from here.  Kind of a small place, but it's got some serious character.

For real, this is a great place to bring a girl to impress her.  If I can't get this kid laid by the end of the week, I don't even know what to say.

Also, seriously?  Seriously... there's people who wait months to have sex?  How fucked up is that?  Why didn't anyone tell me this before?  Crazy, that's what that is.

I can't even think about it.  I need to stop.  It's horrifying.  Campground horror movie scary.  How's that even possible?

Caleb opens the door to his bedroom and Ashley slips in.  There's... not much going on here.  A bed, and a desk in the corner.  The phone's on the desk, so that's good.  It's one of those old kinds, though.  Wow, this place is ancient or something.  I saw a rotary phone in some museum for a field trip in elementary school way back when, and this is almost like that.  Caleb's phone is cordless, so I guess he's got that going for him.  Does it even work?  It's plugged in, I think, so I guess so?

Fuck.  This is going to be harder than I thought.

I go take a seat on the bed and pull Ashley next to me.  We bounce a little.  Caleb stares at us like we're doing something scandalous together.  You can stop staring now, kid.  I'm not going to fuck her when you're in the room.  I mean, yeah, if you want to go outside and close the door behind you, I'll see if I can break your headboard with Ashley's help, but otherwise, uh...

We've got shit to do!  Important shit.  I don't even know why I'm doing this.  I'm only helping him out because Ashley asked me to.  Yeah, that's it.

Nah, Caleb's alright.  A little weird, but he could be cool.

Caleb sits at the desk and stares at the phone, but he doesn't pick it up.

"What's wrong?" Ashley asks.  "Are you nervous?"

"Yeah, but... is the dog going to be alright outside?" Caleb asks.

"Fuck," I say.  Wow.  Seriously, this dog.

"The dog's fine, Caleb!" Ashley says to him, firm.  "Ethan found him in the woods, so I think he can handle himself playing around the campground, don't you?"

"Yeah, I guess..."

Wait.  I know what this is.  It's a thing I don't really do, because there's no time like the present, but I've heard about it.  Procrastinating?  People say something about procrastinating from doing their homework or whatever, too.  I never understood that.  I just don't bother doing it in the first place.  I do it now, because of football and I need to keep up my grades for that, but that's besides the point.

You either do stuff or you don't do stuff.  Don't make up excuses.  Excuses are boring.  Nobody likes that shit.