Stephen King's the Dark Tower: The Complete Concordance Revised and Updated (53 page)

ANDY:
Andy is CALLA BRYN STURGIS’s seven-foot-tall Messenger Robot. To EDDIE DEAN, he looks like C3PO from the film
Star Wars.
However, unlike C3PO, Andy’s skinny legs and arms are made from a silvery material and his head is stainless steel. (Only his body is gold.) His eyes are described as electric blue.

Like SHARDIK, the marauding man-made BEAR GUARDIAN, Andy bears the North Central Positronics stamp. Located on his chest, it reads as follows:

NORTH CENTRAL POSITRONICS, LTD.

IN ASSOCIATION WITH LaMERK INDUSTRIES

PRESENTS

ANDY

Design: MESSENGER (Many Other Functions)

Serial # DNF 34821 V 63

Although he is the last robot for wheels around, Andy never leaves the Calla. He wanders here and there, spreading gossip, singing songs, and telling horoscopes. (Despite his amazing strength, he rarely helps with any manual task more strenuous than cookery.) On the whole, the Calla
folken
consider Andy a nuisance; however, he does serve one important function. Each generation, he accurately predicts the coming of the WOLVES. No one has ever been able to find out how Andy knows this, since whenever they question him about it, he responds that he cannot answer unless they know the appropriate password. The reason? Directive NINETEEN.

In actuality, Andy works for the minions of the CRIMSON KING in THUNDERCLAP. Each generation, he finds a vulnerable adult who has parented only a single set of twins. Andy then infects one of the children with a deadly disease. (In the case of BENNY SLIGHTMAN’s twin sister, the disease was hot-lung.) Once the parent has only one child left, Andy begins his emotional blackmail. If the parent acts as a spy for the Wolves, then his or her remaining child will be kept safe. Until the arrival of Roland and his
ka-tet,
Andy’s ploy worked incredibly well. The people of the Callas felt powerless against the Greencloaks, since the child-snatchers seemed to predict their every act of resistance.

In the final book of the Dark Tower series, we learn that robots like Andy are called ASIMOV ROBOTS. Logic faults are quite common in such intelligent mechanical beings. However, whatever happened to make Andy such
a traitorous monster seems to have less to do with logic faults and more to do with plain old meanness. V:1–2, V:3–8, V:10, V:15, V:18, V:25, V:29, V:31, V:129, V:131, V:132–33, V:134, V:137–42, V:144, V:150, V:151, V:154, V:155, V:161
(indirect),
V:168, V:207–8, V:211–34
(present; mentioned directly on 218, 220),
V:293, V:318, V:321–24
(present with Jake and Benny),
V:328, V:331, V:332, V:337, V:339, V:340, V:350–51, V:356, V:362, V:381, V:384–86, V:391, V:412, V:415, V:484, V:485, V:487, V:488, V:489–92, V:494–95, V:501, V:554, V:558, V:561, V:567–77, V:578, V:581, V:585, V:586–89, V:590, V:601–17
(present; mentioned directly on 602, 603, 608, 610, 611),
V:629, V:630–35, V:641, V:644–50, V:652, V:655
(pard),
V:656, V:658, V:659, V:660, V:678, V:702, V:704, VI:9, VI:67, VI:252, VII:65, VII:73, VII:146
(indirect),
VII:156
(indirect),
VII:157, VII:191, VII:708, VII:710, VII:722, W:16, W:17

ASIMOV ROBOTS:
Intelligent robots created by North Central Positronics. They are prone to logic faults. In a working robot, such faults tend to be quarantined, like e-mail viruses that arrive on a computer protected by an antivirus program. However, as we see in the case of NIGEL, this quarantining process doesn’t always seem to work, especially in instances where a robot’s less stable emotional programming is involved. VII:156

BLAINE:

Now, although the unthinkable machinery which maintained the Beams had weakened, this insane and inhuman intelligence had awakened in the rooms of ruin and had begun once more, although as bodiless as any ghost, to stumble through the halls of the dead.
(III:373)

Our
ka-tet
’s nasty adventure with Blaine the Insane Mono was prefigured by the story of CHARLIE THE CHOO-CHOO and also by JAKE CHAMBERS’s crazed English essay entitled “My Understanding of Truth.” This nasty, overly sophisticated train was created by the sinister North Central Positronics. He was therefore a distant cousin of SHARDIKand the other cyborg GUARDIANS.

Despite superficial appearances, Blaine was not just a train. He was in fact the GHOST IN THE MACHINES—LUD’s city-wide computer intelligence so feared by the PUBES and the GRAYS. This fear was not unfounded, since Blaine was completely psychotic. He suffered from a computerized form of split personality disorder (he was composed of nasty “Big Blaine” and terrified “Little Blaine”). While a horrified Little Blaine watched, Big Blaine committed terrible crimes such as destroying his companion mono PATRICIA (she was crying all the time) and gassing the residents of Lud. Big Blaine, whose logic and reasoning twisted long ago, agreed to take Roland and his friends southeast along the PATH OF THE BEAM to his termination point in TOPEKA. His price was a riddling contest. If the
ka-tet
won, Blaine would deliver them safely to their destination. If they lost, Blaine would kill them when he killed himself. Obviously, our
ka-tet
was at a severe disadvantage since Blaine had access to information on all levels of the DARK TOWER. However, EDDIE DEAN succeeded in defeating Blaine with the Eddie specialty—bad jokes. III:52, III:53, III:98, III:140, III:239, III:245–49
(Blaine/Patricia),
III:254,
III:255–56, III:263, III:267, III:286, III:288–89, III:303, III:309, III:322–25, III:332–34, III:340–50
(cradle),
III:361–65, III:372–85
(373–82 voice in Cradle of the Grays with Roland and Jake),
III:389, III:393–420, IV:3–10
(Roland refuses to riddle, so Blaine turns on “visual” mode; 3–6 Roland challenges, 6–9 Roland bargains),
IV:13–42, IV:44–63
(45 transteel piers are yellow and black, like Portal of the Bear; 49 Eddie decides to piss off Blaine; 56 Blaine blows circuit; 58–59 crash; 61 leave Blaine; 62 standing on Blaine),
IV:642–43, V:35, V:38, V:55, V:58, V:106, V:125, V:139, V:164
(mono),
V:220, V:258
(indirect),
V:291, V:478, V:508, V:565, V:567, V:572, V:573, V:639, VI:109, VI:117, VI:138, VI:244, VI:266, VI:269, VI:287, VI:358, VI:359, VI:404, VI:406, VII:19, VII:44, VII:160, VII:201, VII:407, VII:536, VII:645, VII:698, VII:808, VII:811, W:13, W:31

GHOSTS IN THE MACHINES:
Every time the PUBES of LUD heard the god-drums, they drew lots to see who among them should be sacrificed. The Pubes believed that there were ghosts living in the machines under the city. If these ghosts were not appeased, they would take over the bodies of the dead, rise up, and eat those left alive. As JEEVES of the Pubes said, “There are a great many machines under Lud, and there are ghosts in all of them—demonous spirits which bear only ill will to mortal men and women. These demon-ghosts are
very
capable of raising the dead . . . and in Lud, there are a great many dead to raise” (III:322). Although the Grays ran the god-drum machines that incited the Pube’s frenzied sacrifice, they also believed that the city’s computers were haunted by demonic spirits. When you think about it, they were right. III:322–23, III:336, III:347, III:364, III:373, III:400

IMPERIUM:
III:398

LITTLE BLAINE:
III:347–49, III:361, III:363, III:364, III:377
(voice),
III:398, III:409, III:413, IV:35, IV:52, IV:54, IV:55

PASSENGER KILLINGTON:
While he and SUSANNAH are in the CRADLE OF LUD, EDDIE DEAN imagines the station as it must once have been. He even imagines he hears a loudspeaker calling for this particular passenger. III:342

DARIA (NORTH CENTRAL POSITRONICS PORTABLE GUIDANCE MODULE DARIA, NCP-1436345-AN):
In
The Wind Through the Keyhole,
the mutant MUDMEN of the FAGONARD swamp gave TIM ROSS this speaking guidance module to help him find his way through the ENDLESS FOREST and to the home of the magician MAERLYN. Unlike so many of the wicked technological objects created by the Old People, Daria had a kind and gentle mechanical heart and eventually became Tim’s friend.

When Tim first saw Daria, he mistook her for a small purse of smooth leather with a metal seam running across her center. It was only when the Mudmen’s HELMSMAN pulled a tab attached to this seam that the purse opened and Tim saw the brushed metal disc inside which was the size and thickness of a small dinner plate. Although Tim couldn’t read the writing on top of the device, below the writing were three buttons. Pushing one of these buttons made the disk emit a low whining sound and forced a short metal stick to emerge from the plate. Pushing a second button made the disk beep and a red light come on. Once the stick was out and the red light was on, the
guidance mechanism was ready to use. The person holding the mechanism had to then turn in a circle until the device beeped again and the light turned green, indicating the correct direction of travel.

Throughout his trip from the Fagonard to the NORTH FOREST KINNOCK DOGAN, where the enchanted magician MAERLYN waited in the form of a hungry TYGER, Daria proved to be a dependable guide and protector. Not only could she read the location and magical state of the magnetic BEAM which Tim followed, but upon request, she could supply a bright light. (The light made Tim think of burning phosphorus.) Throughout Tim’s journey, Daria helped him avoid dangers, such as the poisonous GIANT YELLOW MUSHROOMS that Tim would otherwise have eaten and the TENTACLED DEMON that would have eaten Tim, if it had gotten the chance.

Although DIRECTIVE NINETEEN officially restricted the amount of information that she could give to Tim, Daria purposefully disobeyed it in order to help her young traveler. As a result, she was permanently shut down.

W:210–32
(216 talks),
W:232–35
(dies because of directive 19),
W:237, W:239, W:256

DELICIOUS RAIN:
Delicious Rain and the other D-line trains run south from the DEVAR-TOI to the poisoned DISCORDIA. VII:411

DEVAR-TOI ROBOTS (UNNAMED):

SIX-ARMED ROBOT:
This robot has six pincer-like arms, which he waves about as he tours the DEVAR-TOI. VII:343, VII:351–52

DOBBIE:
Dobbie is a type of domestic robot known as a house elf. She does much of TAMMY KELLY’s work in the DEVAR-TOI Master’s house. VII:354

FEDIC ROBOTS AND UNNAMED FEDIC DOGAN ROBOTS:

CLASS A CONDUCTOR ROBOT (FEDIC STATION):
VII:201

DEAD ROBOT:
VI:235

HUCKSTER ROBOT:
This robot travels up and down FEDIC’s main street advertising humie and cybie girls, even though all of the potential customers are dead. Although we don’t see the North Central Positronics stamp on this electronic pimp’s body, we can be fairly certain that he was made by them. VI:235, VI:244, VII:536

HUNTER-KILLER ROBOTS IN DOGAN:
VII:159–60

MAINTENANCE DRONE:
DINKY EARNSHAW places this fried maintenance drone near the FEDIC/THUNDERCLAP STATION door to disguise our
ka-tet
’s entrance into END-WORLD. VII:203, VII:222

PLAYER PIANO:
VI:235

ROBOT THAT LOOKS LIKE ANDY:
This robot is rusting in front of the FEDIC CAFÉ. VI:252

STEEL BALL ON LEGS:
SUSANNAH DEAN spots this mechanical foreman while the ASIMOV ROBOT NIGEL carries her through the FEDIC DOGAN. The foreman fried his boards eight hundred years earlier and all he can manage to say when they pass is “Howp! Howp!” VII:75

FIRE-RESPONSE TEAM BRAVO:
Although they are officially the DEVAR-TOI’s mechanical firemen, Fire-Response Team Bravo are actually better at running people over with their fire engines than they are at putting out fires. VII:363, VII:369, VII:371–73, VII:389, VII:393

NIGEL THE BUTLER (CHUMLEY):
When MORDRED DESCHAIN is
due to be born in the FEDIC DOGAN, Nigel the Butler (DNK4932 DOMESTIC) arrives in the EXTRACTION ROOM bearing an incubator. However, as soon as he sees Mordred turn into a spider and devour his birth mother, Nigel realizes that such precautions probably aren’t necessary. During the fray which follows Mordred’s birth, SUSANNAH DEAN shoots out Nigel’s eyes (an aggressive but understandable act, since Nigel closely resembles ANDY, CALLA BRYN STURGIS’s treacherous Messenger Robot). Although both Nigel and Andy are ASIMOV ROBOTS, Nigel has a much more sensitive nature. Whereas Andy seems to take a vengeful pleasure in betraying the people of the Callas, Nigel seems positively pleased to help feed and house our
tet
once they are reunited in the Fedic Dogan. In fact, he finds feeding small animals to Spider-Mordred so distressing that his circuits blow. VII:65–80, VII:111, VII:145–46
(sleeping until next entry),
VII:148–49, VII:150–59
(Asimov Robots),
VII:160, VII:161, VII:162, VII:163–64, VII:166–67, VII:169
(indirect),
VII:171, VII:172
(indirect),
VII:176, VII:189, VII:250, VII:541, VII:707

PATRICIA:
Patricia was the twin of BLAINE the Insane Mono. She was blue and traveled northwest. Blaine fried her circuits because he was tired of hearing her cry all the time. Although back in
The Waste Lands
our
tet
saw the remains of her bright blue train body jutting out of the RIVER SEND near the city of LUD, in the distant past Patricia also embarked from the town of FEDIC in END-WORLD. III:245–49
(speaking of Blaine, probably mean Patricia),
III:288–89, III:342, III:346, III:410–11, III:412, IV:4, VI:237, VI:244, VI:269, VII:89, W:13

PHIL:
When TED BRAUTIGAN first arrived at the DEVAR-TOI, Phil was his robot driver. His favorite saying was “My name’s Phil, I’m over the hill, but the best news is I never spill.” Not long after Ted met him, Phil ended up on the garbage dump. VII:289–90

SHARDIK:
See
GUARDIANS OF THE BEAM
,
listed separately