Stepping to a New Day (2 page)

She noted the way he wouldn't meet her eyes. “All set for school in the fall?”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

“Excited?”

“Yeah.” And he gave her his first smile.

“What are you looking forward to the most?”

He shrugged again. “Living in an apartment and being sorta on my own.”

“Ready for Eli unplugged, huh?”

Another smile.

“You've earned it. You pulled your grades up. Got your head together. We're all really proud of you. Losing your mom when you did is not an easy thing to handle. When I lost mine, all the light in my world seemed to disappear.”

Surprise brought him up straight. “You lost your mom? How old were you?”

“Fourteen.”

He sat back, seemed to think on that for a moment, and said finally, “So you know how it is.”

“I do,” she answered softly. Only she hadn't received an iota of the support, love, and understanding Henry Adams showed Eli. The embers of that old pain quickened and she turned her mind back to the present before it flared to life. “I'm over fifty now and I still miss her.”

“I still miss mine, too.”

“I don't think it's anything we ever get over, but we get through it. Does that make sense to you?”

“It does. I dream about her a lot.” He glanced her way as if needing the reassurance that it was okay to share his feelings. “For a while I thought I might forget what she looked like, but Dad has a bunch of pictures, so every now and then
I take them out and look at her. God, I miss her so much,” he whispered. Tears shone in his eyes and he hastily dashed them away. “Sorry.”

She handed him a tissue from the box sitting nearby. “No shame here. It's a measure of how much you loved her. Has losing her been hitting you pretty hard lately?”

“Yeah. Like out of nowhere almost. I thought I had the grief thing under control. Guess not, huh?”

“Nothing wrong with admitting that, nor do you have to apologize to anyone. Okay?”

He gave her a tight nod. They spent a few minutes sharing stories about their mothers. Paula told him about the birthday cake her mother would bake for her every year, and Eli told her that his mom always took him to the zoo on his birthday—even if it was a school day. “She made sure I got my homework the day before, though.”

“You have an advantage I didn't have when my mama died.”

“What do you mean?”

“You have your dad. My mom was a single parent.” And she'd never shared the name of Paula's father.

“He probably didn't think it was an advantage. I treated him like crap.” His eyes were earnest. “I want to apologize to him but I don't know how.”

“Admitting that you do means the right moment will show up.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. You'll feel it. Just promise yourself you won't let it slip by, okay?”

He nodded. “I won't.” He was silent for a long moment before saying, “I'm glad I came to see you today.”

“So am I.”

“I know it's been a long time, but my condolences on losing your mom.”

“Thank you, and the same to you. Anytime the grief starts rising and you need to talk, you know where to come.”

“I do. Thanks, Reverend Paula.”

“You're welcome. We'll always have this bond, Eli.”

He picked up his backpack and like Devon closed the door softly behind hm.

Paula took a tissue out for herself and wiped her eyes. She hoped he would talk to his dad when the moment presented itself. It might not only bring them closer but would let Jack know his son was doing okay.

With nothing else on her schedule, Reverend Paula decided to have dinner at home for a change. Like most of the people in town she ate at the Dog more often than not but that day she felt like cooking for herself.

As she prepared to gather her things and lock up, there was a knock on the door and she looked up to see Rochelle “Rocky” Dancer on the threshold. “Hey, Rock.”

“Hey, Rev. I know I don't have an appointment but are you busy?”

“No. Come on in. Have a seat.” Although Paula wasn't licensed to counsel adults she was always willing to lend a shoulder or an ear.

Rocky took a seat on the couch. She was one of Paula's favorite people. Their trailers were near each other out on the July family's ancestral land, and when the weather was warm, she often awakened in the mornings to the lilting beauty of Rocky's flute. “So what's up?”

“Jack asked me to marry him.”

“And?” Paula asked, hoping to keep her excitement under wraps.

“I'm not sure if I want to.”

“Have you told him that?”

“I have, and he's willing to wait because he never pushes, but I'm wondering if I'm being selfish, or keeping him at arm's length because I'm scared.”

“Of?” she asked easily.

“Honestly? That he'll wake up one day wondering what in the world he's doing with somebody as screwed-up as I am and leave.”

Paula smiled. “You know he loves you, right?”

“I do, or at least I think I do, but I still can't figure out why.”

“Have you asked him?”

She gave a tiny shrug. “I have, and he's so kind and considerate, and puts up with my crazy moods. I suppose I'm still waiting for the gotcha.”

“Like your other relationships?”

“Yeah. Hard to be trusting when you find the man you married prancing in front of the window wearing your underwear.”

“But what does that issue with your first husband have to do with Jack?”

She sighed audibly. “I don't know, Rev. Nothing, really. Guess I'm still trying to wrap my mind around Jack being so good to me.”

“Feel you don't deserve it?”

“Maybe.”

“But you do, you know. We all deserve love and peace and safety in our lives.”

“I guess.”

“No guess, Rock. We do.”

Rocky stared off for a minute. “I know this is a decision I have to make for myself, but I needed to bounce it off of you, too.”

“Always available.”

“I know. You're the best. You can have your couch back. I have to get to work. Thanks.”

“You're welcome.”

Paula shook her head after the town's resident bombshell left her office. In spite of all the toughness on the outside, a scared and scarred woman lived inside. Paula was convinced Rocky being the beneficiary of Jack's unconditional love would go a long way in helping her heal, but convincing Rocky of that might take some time. Paula puttered around for another few minutes just in case someone else showed up at her door. When no one did, she picked up her coat, keys, and purse and went outside to her truck to head for home.

Eli came home to the smell of burgers frying and his eighteen-and-a-half-year-old stomach sat up and took notice. His dad was in the kitchen, and the skillets on the stove were sizzling. “Hey, Dad. Smells awesome.”

“Good to know. How are you?”

Eli sat at the barlike counter and shrugged. “Okay, I guess.” He wasn't ready to talk about his visit with Reverend Paula yet and was glad his dad seemed to know that. “You teaching GED class tonight?”

“No. New term starts in two weeks. Do you have to work next weekend?”

Eli had a part-time job as a member of the wait crew at the
Dog, the town diner managed by his dad's girlfriend, Rocky Dancer. “Yeah. Saturday morning. Why?”

“Apparently your grandparents are flying in that Friday.”

“Your set or Mom's?”

“Mine.”

“When did this happen?”

“My mother called about an hour ago. She never bothers to check if other people have plans. Her plans are always your plans whether you want them to be or not.”

Eli loved his grandparents but sometimes his grandmother Stella acted like she was the Queen of England the way she ordered people around. His grandfather Jack Sr. was really the only person who could make her take a seat. “So I assume they'll be staying with us?”

“Yep.” He took the now-done burgers from the skillet and put them on a plate. Eli could tell he wasn't happy.

“How long are they staying?”

“Just for the weekend supposedly, but who really knows.” He sighed and looked over at Eli. “Go wash your hands. These sweet potato fries will be done by the time you get back.”

“Aye, aye.”

When he returned everything was ready. He sat at the table and after adding his preferred condiments to the burger and dousing his fries with ketchup began eating. “Not as good as the Dog's but it'll do.”

“Hater.”

Eli grinned and took a draw on the straw in his cola. “Why do you think Gram's coming?”

“Truthfully? To try and convince me that Rocky's not the one.”

“Didn't you tell me she did the same thing with Mom?”

“She did, and you know how that turned out.”

“She's batting zero.”

“And that losing streak will continue.”

Eli noted the fire in his dad's eyes. Personally, Eli liked Rocky a lot. She was tough both on and off the job, but underneath all that steel she seemed to love his dad. “You don't think she'll stoop to using the race card, do you?”

“I hope not, but she did use the
class
card with your mother. ‘Blue bloods don't mix with no bloods,' she had the nerve to tell me.”

Eli was appalled. “Because Mom was Italian?”

He nodded as he dipped the end of a fry in the small pool of ketchup on his plate. “I was furious, to say the least.”

Eli was furious for him. Since moving to Henry Adams, the two of them had gone a long way toward being father and son. After his mom died, Eli had been so full of grief, he'd turned on him like a mad dog, accusing him of everything from not loving him to trying to ruin his life by taking him away from California and his friends. Now that he was older and been set straight by the likes of the town elders and Crystal, he knew his dad loved him a lot. “I went to see Reverend Paula today.”

His dad paused and studied him for a long moment before asking, “How'd it go?”

“It went okay. She lost her mom when she was a teenager, too.”

“I didn't know that.”

“Yeah. We talked about that and Mom dying, and how I felt. She said I had an advantage she didn't have.”

“Which was what.”

“You,” Eli said softly. He saw his dad's eyes glisten. “Dad, I'm so sorry I was so mean to you.”

“You were hurting, son.”

“But still. I've been wanting to apologize and could never find the right time. Reverend Paula said because I wanted to do it, the time would show up and that I should promise myself not to let it slip by, so the time is now.” He took a breath. “Thanks for putting up with me and not leaving me on the side of the road. And thanks for telling me to go see her. She helped a lot.”

“You're welcome.”

“I've been thinking about Mom a lot lately—about how proud she'd be of me getting ready to go to college even though I'm a year behind and it's just community college.”

“That you're continuing your education is the most important thing.”

“I know. I have Tamar to thank, too.” The town matriarch hadn't taken any crap from him, and that made him grow up a lot.

“I agree.”

“And Crystal.”

“How are you two getting along?”

Eli shrugged. “Okay, I guess. Even though I'm dating Samantha I still got a thing for Crystal if that's what you're asking. Not sure where she really stands though. Probably still waiting on that loser Diego to ride in on his bike and save the day.” Diego July was a cousin of the town's mayor. Crystal fancied herself in love with him and she'd been crushed learning Diego didn't feel the same way about her.

“Women tend to be complicated.”

“Yeah. Finding that out.”

“It'll all work out in the end. Maybe the way you want and maybe not, but it will work out.”

Eli noted that his dad didn't judge. He rarely did. Even when Eli and the other kids were busted surfing the Net in places they all knew were off-limits, his dad had screamed and yelled and dropped down on him hard, but hadn't judged. “So are you going to be able to handle Gram?”

“Yes. I figure it's only a weekend. How crazy can she make me in two days?”

“I got your back.”

“Good. I'll let you know if we need to hide the body.”

Eli chuckled and went back to his burger. He had something else weighing on his mind that he hadn't talked to Reverend Paula about, and until he figured out how to approach his dad about it, he planned to keep it to himself.

TC sat with Leah and Tiffany at the dining room table. He could smell something burning in the kitchen but being a guest he was too polite to go and see what the problem was. “Does your dad do all the cooking?” he asked the girls.

Leah sighed. “Yes. He's not very good at it, though.”

“You two cook?”

Tiffany shook her head. “Before they got divorced, Mom used to do all the cooking so we never learned. Dad says he doesn't have the time to teach us and that he can do it faster.”

“I see.” TC's daughter Bethany began helping him in the kitchen as soon as she was tall enough to see over the table. Both his boys, Keith and Aaron, learned to cook from their mom before she got too sick, and after her passing TC helped them refine their skills. TC was an excellent cook and his great-nieces were correct in saying Gary was not, if the meals put on the table since his arrival were any indication.

Dinner consisted of burnt pork chops, overcooked broccoli,
undercooked mashed potatoes, and packaged biscuits. While Gary took his seat, Leah looked at her plate, glanced TC's way, and chuckled softly while shaking her head at her father's lack of skills.

“Tiff, your turn to say grace,” their dad said.