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Authors: Kate Metz

BOOK: Stiletto Safari
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“No, no, teacher, look.” He was pointing wildly.

Suddenly pandemonium broke out and all the kids were crying out. I had no idea what all the fuss was about. Then I saw it. At first it looked like a large lump of sand, but it started to crawl. Its hairy yellow legs were inching toward my sandaled feet, making a beeline for my brightly painted red toes.

Terrified of spiders, I found myself glued to the spot. It was like watching a horror movie in slow motion. The spider was going to bite me for sure. And then out of nowhere there was a tremendous whack. Gabi, snakeskin stiletto in hand, had impaled the spider on the heel.

As the spider’s twitching subsided, I let out a sigh of relief.

“Wow, Gabi, that was amazing. Good job. Why don’t you pick something out of the bag?” I gave Gabi a grateful smile. Rather than rushing to the bag, however, Gabi returned to her seat. Perspiration coated her brow and she looked upset. In fact, all the kids seemed very subdued.

Crouching next to her desk, I asked what was wrong. “Bad spider,” was all I could get out of her before the bell rang to signal the end of the day.

“Class, before you go, I just wanted to say a very big thank you for being such terrific students. I’ve had a lot of fun and I hope you have too. On Monday your new teacher, Mrs. Ombok, will start. You will really like her; I’ve heard she’s a wonderful teacher. Please give yourselves a big clap for being such good pupils.”

It might have been my imagination, but even the clapping was half-hearted. I couldn’t figure out why the kids were so upset over a silly spider. I mean, I really hate spiders (almost as much as chipped nails), but I was over it.

Sighing, I went to retrieve my snakeskin stiletto as the kids wandered out. “Don’t touch, Miss Zara!” One of the small boys tugged on my arm, pulling me away from the shoe.

Trying to lighten his mood, I walked him to the door and waved goodbye.

“You! Why are you here?” I demanded. Hamish was leaning languidly against the exterior classroom wall.

“Well, I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you,” he said, laughing pleasantly.

“I’ve already had one possible near-death experience today; I’m not sure I’m up for another one.

“Tell me,” he said, cocking one eyebrow.

“What say I show you instead? After all, you are the wildlife expert.”

Hamish followed me into the classroom. “Creepy little arachno, isn’t it?” I thrust my heel in Hamish’s direction.

He let out a slow whistle between his teeth and gently took the shoe from me for a closer look.

“This didn’t touch you or anyone else, did it, Zara?” he asked a little sharply.

“No, thanks to Gabi. It was coming at me and I totally froze—spiders freak me out,” I explained before continuing, “Gabi grabbed my shoe and you can see what happened next. What kind of spider is it, anyway?”

“A Namibian sand spider. I have absolutely no idea how it got here, but we’re all very lucky no one was bitten. This little fellow just happens to be the world’s most poisonous spider.”

My heart started to flutter. “Are you kidding?”

Hamish shook his head. “Mind if I borrow this?” He nodded at my shoe. “I’d like to show Nelson. While I don’t think there will be anymore around, we don’t want to take any chances.”

Hamish and I trooped up to Nelson’s house to tell him the great news: the world’s most toxic spider had decided to make his school its home.

Nelson took the news calmly. Peering through his glasses, he turned the shoe over in his hands several times. “Fascinating. I’ve only ever seen a sand spider once before. Quite beautiful in their own way, aren’t they?”

Personally, I thought the gloop on my heel didn’t look remotely attractive, but to each their own.

Hamish, of course, agreed with Nelson. They talked spiders for a couple of minutes before Nelson turned to me and said warmly, “Thank you so much for your help, Zara Hamilton. You made a very fine teacher and dorm mistress. We will sorely miss you and want you to know that if you ever feel like coming back to our school you will always be welcome.”

The earnestness of Nelson’s words touched me. While I thought I’d made a pretty lousy teacher, his comments were kind.

“Believe it or not, Nelson, I’ve actually had a pretty wonderful time, so thank you for having me.”

As Hamish and I walked back toward the classroom to pack up, Hamish said, “Is it true?”

“Is what true?”

“That you had a wonderful time?”

“Oh, that.” I stopped and thought for a moment. “You know what? It actually is. Don’t tell anyone, though.”

“Don’t worry; your secret is safe with me.”

“So you haven’t explained yet: why are you here?”

“Well, I thought my newest volunteer on the wildlife program might like a hand moving from the dorm to the much more salubrious volunteer accommodation. Usually I offer an airport pick-up service, but in your case it wasn’t required.”

“How very thoughtful. You can start by carrying this.” I threw him the remnants of the dress-up bag I’d retrieved from the classroom. I’d left behind some of the choice items—a fake moustache, a wig, some crazy hats and sunglasses—for the next teacher. I wondered whether she’d approve.

It took me a while to pack up. Not because I had that much stuff, but because the girls kept coming up to say goodbye. Perhaps I was flattering myself, but they all seemed genuinely sad that I was leaving, or at least that my iPad was leaving. The last movie we’d watched together was
The Princess Bride
, one of my all-time favorite movies. I’m not sure that the girls understood it was a comedy, but nevertheless they seemed to enjoy Buttercup and Westley’s wild romp through fantasyland. I’d promised to come back again for a re-run.

Fortunately for me, the volunteer camp was running under capacity, so I got the luxury of my own room. Admittedly it wasn’t much—just a bed, cupboard, and chest of drawers—but after sharing with sixty girls, it bordered on heavenly!

Hamish carried my bags to my room for me. “Do you need me to show you the showers?”

“Haha, hysterical,” I tartly replied. “No, I’m quite all right. I’ll just find the closest tap.”

“All right then, I’ll be off; see you tomorrow morning at eight.” Hamish touched my arm softly to make sure I was listening.

“Great, see you then.” I was busily hanging my dresses in the wardrobe.

“You know, the meals aren’t that great here, so feel free to come over to mine anytime. I enjoy cooking and I’m not sharing with anyone right now…” Hamish’s voice petered out.

I looked up from my unpacking. Hamish was looking down at his feet. He almost looked a bit bashful. “Right; I better go,” he said without really looking at me.

Hamish’s strange behavior was extremely confusing. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear he was into me. But I did know better, didn’t I?

Chapter 22

W

ildlife volunteering day one, and my most important decision of the day was obviously what to wear, who knew what gorgeous male volunteers there might be!

Selecting my outfit with care, I opted for a body-hugging, feather-soft gray racer-back tee and a pair of cropped, fitted Victoria’s Secret cargo shorts. A pair of over-sized Chanel sunnies, my Hermès cuff and hiking boots completed the chic desert-inspired look I was aspiring to. Surveying myself in the mirror, I thought I looked ready for a day of rescuing wildlife.

Not wanting to look too keen, I turned up a little after eight. Almost immediately I was accosted by a squat sun-damaged woman.

“Right, who are you?” she said, stubbing out a cigarette with her boot. She had a heavy South African accent.

“Zara,” I replied, smiling before adding, “I’m in Hamish’s wildlife-saving group.” I glanced around for Hamish, but he wasn’t there. I did, however, spy Henrietta sniggering in the corner.

“So this is who we’ve been waiting for. Let’s go, everyone; we’re now seriously behind schedule.” I received a nasty glare.

She had to be kidding. First, I wasn’t in
her
group, and second, it was only 8:07 a.m.!

Time to try again. “Hi, I think there has been a misunderstanding. I’m in Hamish’s group. You know, the group saving wildlife and things.” Henrietta’s snigger grew louder.

The cranky woman spat on the ground, apparently aiming at my boot and only narrowly missing. “Hamish mentioned you. He has been called away, so you’re with me. We’ve got a cat to move and animals to feed. Are you coming or not?”

I probably should have said no, but I wasn’t quick enough. Instead, I clambered onto the back of a truck with the other volunteers.

“Don’t worry about her,” a man in his late thirties said. “Pip can be a bit of a bitch. My theory is that she’s intimidated by attractive women. Pip has been a total cow to Kelly too. I’m Mark, by the way, and this is Kelly, my wife.”

Kelly was a very pretty, long-legged blonde in her early thirties. She looked totally cool—aviator sunnies, tank, little shorts, and a lightweight silk scarf. She rolled her eyes. “Uh-huh. Yesterday Pip saved the very worst jobs for me. I can’t wait until Hamish is back. Apparently he might be away for a couple of days, though, which is really bad timing. I’m trying to organize a shoot and I really need him to scout for some good locations. Everyone knows he’s the best.”

“What’s the shoot for?” I asked, interested.

“Oh, just a safari spread we’re doing in
Vogue
.”


Vogue!
I totally love
Vogue
!” I gushed.

“Yes, I’m really excited about this shoot,” Kelly enthusiastically answered. “It’s such an amazing setting. We’re scheduled to start shooting in about six weeks and the shoot will probably run for about a week. Perhaps you’ll still be around?”

“Absolutely.” I found myself nodding. It was longer than I had intended to stay, but I could make an exception for
Vogue
.

“Terrific; it should be loads of fun. I’ve just found out that our model for the shoot is amazing; it’s going to be huge.”

“Who is it?” I asked.

Kelly looked like she was having an internal dilemma. “You’ve got to keep it secret because I really shouldn’t be telling anyone, but it’s just so exciting…”

I put on my serious lawyer face and nodded; I could tell Kelly was just dying to tell someone.

“It’s Sasha Friend,” she hissed in my ear.

“You mean Sasha Friend the supermodel?” I conspiratorially whispered back.

Kelly nodded before excitedly adding, “Fab, isn’t it! Actually it was her idea to come here. Sasha and Hamish go way back, and she knew we were interested in a safari theme. The whole thing is just perfect timing. You have to keep it a secret, though, because I really shouldn’t have mentioned it. I only just found out this morning and, well, I’m just so excited…”

“Don’t worry, Kelly, your secret is totally safe with me,” I whispered before adding “And no wonder you’re so excited. Sasha Friend! She’ll be totally amazing.”

The words tumbled out of my mouth, but really I was pondering what “go way back” meant.

Without missing a beat, Kelly continued, “I’m lucky enough to be the advance party. Mark has been dying to come to Africa, so here we are!”

Mark gave Kelly an affectionate kiss.

“Are you guys staying at the volunteer camp?” I doubtfully asked. I’m sure I would have noticed Mark and Kelly at breakfast.

“Oh no, we’re staying at the lodge,” Kelly quickly answered.

“Kelly can’t live without her GHD and I can’t live without cable,” Mark explained. “Plus, we’re only volunteering for a couple of days as research for an article Kelly is working on, so it didn’t make sense for us to stay down here.”

“And you?” Kelly asked.

“Well, I’ve just recently moved from the school to the volunteer camp.” I was just about to add that volunteering wasn’t really my thing and I was looking forward to heading back to New York for some much needed retail therapy when Kelly cut me off.

“You’re Zara Hamilton! I’ve been dying to meet you. Everyone keeps telling me what a wonderful job you’ve done at the school. Hamish positively raves about you, and so does the school principal. I’m so pleased we’ve finally met. I’d love to interview you for my feature if you’re interested.”

Oh my god, I was going to be in
Vogue
!

Trying to sound nonchalant, I replied, “Sure; what’s the feature about?”

Hello—it could have been an article about crocheting for all I cared. Being in
Vogue
was a once-in-a-lifetime experience! But I didn’t want to look desperate.

“Well, it’s a piece on inspirational young women who volunteer and about how empowering and fulfilling helping others can be.”

While I was quite dubious about the “empowering” part, I did like the sound of “inspirational.” For the rest of the day I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. I was going to be inspirational in
Vogue!

In fact, it didn’t even matter that:

 
  1. I got electrocuted and nearly died (Pip “neglected” to mention that all the fences were electric, and I stepped into one and got knocked-out);
  2. A heavy cage with a hissing, angry cheetah fell on my foot, causing a probable semi-permanent limp (to me, not the cheetah);
  3. Hamish was most likely dating Sasha Friend.

Okay, number three bothered me, which was both surprising and annoying. I definitely wasn’t interested in Hamish.

Still, I was flattered he’d been talking me up to Kelly. When I saw him next, I’d have to try to be a bit nicer.

Chapter 23

T

he next few weeks were a blur. The wildlife volunteer program was full-on, and I was expected to help prepare food for the animals, clean out their enclosures, and participate in miscellaneous research work like counting game.

Without doubt, the most disgusting task was food preparation. It involved rummaging through all the scraps from the volunteer camp and working out what could be fed to the animals. Once the eggshells and bones had been removed from the scraps, a porridge-like goo was added and the whole horrid mixture was rolled into giant balls for the baboons.

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