Stolen Chances (29 page)

He drew in a breath. “Maren, the day Colin died—”

“Thad, don’t.” Her voice hitched.

“No.” Even if it killed him, he was going to get it out. “You had your turn. It’s mine now. That last day, when Patrick told us he was stepping up the dives, I wasn’t focused. He’d hired me to lead the dives, but all I could think about was you. I was young and cocky and completely unsure what I wanted out of life, and there you were. Everything I’d always told myself I didn’t need. Your father was right to be wary of me. I was a player, and I was using you. But that day, I knew I was falling for you, and it scared the shit out of me.”

He looked at her hand resting against the sheet, her long, slender fingers he knew felt like heaven sliding across his skin. “When Declan’s crew came into that cavern all I could think about was making sure you were safe. My kid brother, who hadn’t wanted to even be on that dig, wasn’t even the slightest concern to me. He’d gone to Mexico because I talked him into it. He’d postponed finishing his thesis all for me, and I’d been so wrapped up in you, I didn’t even think twice about him.”

“What happened to Colin wasn’t your fault,” she said quietly.

He knew that in his head. But his heart felt differently.

He closed his eyes, remembering Colin’s dorky grin, the way his shaggy hair had always been falling in his eyes. Those stupid jokes he used to tell.

“I blamed you.” He forced himself to look at her again. Knew he didn’t deserve to hide from her. “I was so angry, and I didn’t have anyone to take it out on except you. It was wrong of me, but I didn’t know how to deal with losing him.”

She looked down at her hands and didn’t answer, not that he expected her to. But he saw the heartache in her eyes and knew she’d loved his brother too. Everyone had.

He shoved his hands back in his pockets. “I didn’t go home for the funeral. I wasn’t exactly in the best frame of mind then. I was drinking—a lot. I got dumped from the next few projects I’d lined up before the accident, but I really didn’t care. The only thing I could think about was finding Declan and settling the score.” Revenge trickled through his veins, for a moment dousing the guilt. “The bastard must have known I’d come for him, because he dropped off the radar, and I had trouble tracking him down.”

He focused on her hand and willed the rage back. “I finally did, though. Found him at his estate outside Puerto Vallarta. I don’t even think I had a plan when I went to see him. I just knew I was going to kill him.”

“Wh-what happened?” she asked, for the first time looking up.

Her eyes were so mesmerizing, so fathomless, and so concerned, for a moment he got lost in them before refocusing on the past. “I’d been tipping back the bottle pretty heavy but found him through a few of the locals. I’m pretty sure word had spread and that he was expecting me.” He winced at the memory. “He dropped me on my ass with one blow, then had me arrested for breaking and entering. Federales picked me up and threw me in the clink. I ended up spending two and a half weeks in a Mexican cell. It’s not a place I ever want to visit again, but it was enough to make me rethink my priorities, and it showed me I was on the verge of spiraling out of control.”

She looked back down at her hands, and he couldn’t tell what she was thinking, so he went on. “They didn’t have enough to make the charges stick, and holding me was obviously a favor someone was doing for Declan. In the end, they let me go. Declan was long gone at that point, and when I stepped out into the sunlight with nobody waiting for me, I knew I needed to get my shit together. So I quit the bottle, found a crap job on a salvage boat in the north Atlantic, and when I’d worked my body to the brink, I finally went to see my parents. That’s when I found out you’d called.”

She looked toward the windows, and emotions slid across her features. A mixture of pain and regret and misery he knew so well.

“I spent three days with my folks,” he said more softly. “And then I got on a plane, flew to Seattle, and hopped a ferry across the Sound.”

Her gaze snapped to his, wide, surprised eyes that told him she’d never known. He’d guessed that much already.

“It was March then,” he went on. “I talked to your mother. She said you were on another dig somewhere in Australia and that she didn’t know when you’d be back or how to get in touch with you. I believed her.”

“I was there.” Tears filled her eyes, and she looked toward the ceiling. “Isabel would have only been a month old then.”

He nodded. He’d figured that out the last few hours too. “Your mother wasn’t happy to see me.”

“It wasn’t you,” she said, shaking her head. “My mother didn’t even know you. She never wanted me to have Isabel. She was furious when I told her I was pregnant. Told me I was making the same mistakes she’d made—falling for someone like my father who would always be more interested in the chase than the find. I think she was afraid I’d end up like her.”

“You’re not like her,” he said quietly.

“I am. More than you know.” She sniffled and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “She’s a hard person, and she’s always been way too self-absorbed, but she loves Isabel without fault. She has since the moment Isabel was born. Seeing you probably scared her, because she realized what she could lose.”

When she looked up, he saw the truth in her eyes. And his heart took a slow roll in his chest.

“I didn’t know you’d gone to the hotel, Thad. But it explains why my mother was so insistent I come down here now, why my father’s been hounding me to work things out with you. They’ve both obviously been feeling guilty about the way things turned out for Isabel.”

“No, Maren. They feel bad about the way things turned out for you. Your father loves you. He just doesn’t know how to show it.”

She looked toward the window, and he knew she didn’t believe him.

“I went back three more times,” he said. “And every time was told you were gone or didn’t want to see me. I eventually decided I was done beating my head against a wall. And I figured if you wanted to see me, you would. But I never forgot about you.”

Her eyes slid closed, and a single tear slid down her cheek. He moved around the side of the bed and sat next to her. When she tried to move away, he gently tipped her face toward him, stopping her. “No, don’t.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Thad.”

The ache in her voice tugged on his heart. A heart that beat because of her. “Yes, it does. Maren, look at me.”

Slowly, she opened her eyes, and one look was all it took for him to know.

This was where he was supposed to be. Nothing else mattered. Not what had happened in the past. Not what either of them had or hadn’t done. Not even all the lies and secrets and hurt. “For so long, I’ve been trying to convince myself I was over you, but one touch of your lips, and it all came flooding back. I love you, Maren.”

Another tear slipped down her cheek. “Thad—”

“And when I think about the way you’ve loved our daughter, the things you’ve done to keep her safe…it only makes me love you more.”

“Please don’t,” she whispered.

He dragged her close, until she was sitting on his lap. “I hate what you’ve been through. I hate that you did it all alone and didn’t feel you could confide in anyone.” Gently, he kissed her brow. “I want that to change.”

“Don’t say these things.”

He ran his hands up to frame her face and forced her to look at him. “I can’t help it. I’ve done some really dumb things in my life, but I’m not stupid enough to let you walk away from me twice in one lifetime. I need you too much.”

“You don’t need me. You never did.”

He knew she was remembering the lies he’d told her that last day in Mexico. The ones he’d said to get her to go home so he could wallow in his own pain. The ones that had started all this.

“Oh baby.” He brushed the tear away with his thumb. “I’ve always needed you. I was just too stupid to admit it.”

Her arms slid around his shoulders, and warmth pushed out the chill that had lodged itself in the middle of his chest. Her heart beat hard and steady against his, but when she tipped her head and brushed her mouth against his, he knew she believed him. Every one of his senses kicked into high gear as her lips parted and he tasted the sweetness of her kiss, the gentleness she kept so closely guarded under all her layers. And when he eased back and looked down at the emotions shimmering in her eyes, he knew he’d found everything he’d ever wanted.

“Let me love you, Maren.”

Slowly, she nodded, her blue eyes glinting with a mixture of love and heat in the dim moonlight. He slid his arms up her sides, lifting the thin cotton T-shirt she’d been sleeping in and tugging it over her head. Her blond hair fell around her shoulders, making her look like a goddess as he dropped it on the floor. Carefully, so he wouldn’t hurt her shoulder, he turned her so she was lying on her back on the mattress.

He stared at her as he kicked off his shoes and dragged off his own shirt. God, she was beautiful. Pale skin, perfect breasts, and a flat tummy that had once held his child. He crawled over her and lowered his mouth to hers. And reveled in the way she reached for him and opened at the first touch.

Paradise. It wasn’t an island or a beach or a treasure. It was her. She drew in a breath when his hands ran over her bare breasts, as his fingertips grazed the locket she wore, then slid down to her nipples. And he loved the way she shuddered when his lips found the pulse at the base of her throat.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he whispered against her skin.

His lips set off on a slow journey across her body. He kissed the curve at her collarbone, trailed his mouth over the fading yellow bruises and the long gash in her shoulder. And knew he’d found heaven when she made a purring sound deep in her throat that told him just how much she wanted him too.

“More.” Fingers raking his scalp, she pulled his head back and kissed him again, her tongue hot and wet and demanding as it slid over his. Fire ignited in his groin, a hot rush that could only be doused by her. When she pushed a hand against his shoulder, he rolled to his back, letting her take the lead, loving every single greedy nip and lick as she straddled his hips and ground against his cock.

He’d give her whatever she wanted. Take everything she gave. Her tempting fingers found the button at the top of his jeans and ripped them open. She pulled away from his mouth, scrambled backwards, and tugged the denim from his legs. But before she could drop to her knees on the floor, he wrapped his arms around her and rolled her to her back again.

He slid his naked body over hers, and her legs opened, drawing him closer. Bracing one hand on the mattress, he eased back and looked down at her. “It’s only ever been you, Maren.”

Her eyes filled with tears, and she arched her back, bringing the tip of his cock into all her silky wetness. “Show me.”

He wasn’t prepared for the sensations that swamped him when he pressed inside her. Didn’t expect the intense ripple of love that started in his heart and spread out through his limbs. Groaning, he lowered his mouth to hers and set a slow and seductive rhythm that left him only wanting more.

It didn’t matter that she couldn’t say the words yet. He had a long road to travel to win back her trust. But he would. Because she was everything. His past. His present. And the promise of a future he’d been too afraid to dream about.

When she moaned and shuddered around him, he drove deep and finally let go, giving her the one piece of himself he’d never given anyone before, even her.

He gave her his heart and prayed he was everything she needed too.

C
HAPTER
F
IFTEEN

“
T
his is a bad idea.” Maren gripped the safety handle as the rig bounced over a rut in the road and tried to will back the nausea threatening to bubble up.

Thad glanced over at her through his sunglasses. Keeping one hand on the wheel of the Jeep, he lifted their joined fingers and kissed the back of her hand. “It’s going to be okay. I’ll be right there with you.”

Warmth spread up her arm, but it did little to ease the knot growing in her belly. “He’s not going to be nearly as forgiving as you were.”

“There’s nothing to forgive, Maren.” The Jeep bounced over a limb in the road. “And if he doesn’t understand, then he’s not worth worrying about.”

“This is Patrick we’re talking about. ‘I understand’ isn’t a phrase I’ve ever heard him utter.”

“It’ll be okay. Besides,” he said with a lopsided grin, “even though your dad’s got a few years on me, if it gets tense, I’m pretty sure I can take him.”

In any other situation, that would have made her smile, but she was dreading seeing her father. She was going to have to tell him everything she’d told Thad last night, and she didn’t expect him to be as sympathetic as Thad had been. He didn’t love her like Thad did. Her betrayal would cut him deeply.

“I think it would be easier if I just disappeared into thin air.”

“You’re not running,” he said with a determined frown. “Give him the benefit of the doubt. He loves you more than you think.”

She didn’t believe that, but it wasn’t worth mentioning again.

He squeezed her hand as they pulled into the camp, killed the engine, and met her at the hood of the Jeep. “Have faith, Blondie.”

She’d never had faith in anyone or anything. And she didn’t for a minute believe any of this was going to end well. But she’d learned a valuable lesson last night. Things could change in a heartbeat, and what she’d always believed was true could turn out to be false right before her very eyes.

Thad had convinced her of that.

She couldn’t have been more surprised when he’d told her he loved her last night, and she was still trying to work it all out in her head. She certainly didn’t deserve him, and she had no clue how they’d ever be able to put the past behind them and have any kind of a future, but she wanted him. More than she could admit to him right now. More than she could even admit to herself.

Because part of her wasn’t completely sure she’d have that happily ever after he kept hinting at.