Stone Cold Charade (A Stone Family Novel) (16 page)

Pinching the bridge of his nose and
closing his eyes in regret, he stated, “What would you like to know,
Alexandria?” He opened his eyes as his words hung heavily in the silence that
followed.

Alex moved restlessly on the sofa, not
meeting his gaze at first. She dragged her eyes to his shirt buttons then
slowly to his face. Reading the apprehension in his eyes, Alex asked what she
had been longing to since that night.

“Why did you do it?” she asked heatedly.

“Why did I do what? Push you away, or
why did I make love to you that night? In your mind they’re one and the same
aren’t they?” he replied bitterly, raising his glass to take a sip from his
drink. He watched Alex over the rim, saw her close her eyes at the hurtful
memories he was forcing her to relive. She was still hiding from it, trying to
forget the pain he had caused her. If they had any hope for the future he had
to make her see what happened with adult eyes. He lowered his glass, watching
her closely.

“You would have begged me to finish what
we’d started if I hadn’t put a stop to it.” Her eyes opened and flared wide as
her body went cold and still. “You were too innocent then to know what was
happening. I wasn’t! I knew you were in over your head. If I hadn’t pushed you
away you would have kept coming, thinking we had a future together,” he said
gruffly.

“Don’t worry. You needn’t look at me as
if I’m a threat. I gave up believing in fairytales a long time ago. You taught
me that,” she said passionately. She sank heavily into the sofa, trying to
breathe through the excruciating pain he was bringing to the surface.

“I was seven years older then you. You
were still a minor, there are laws against that in some states, or did you
forget?” he asked mockingly, a harsh tone in his voice. One eyebrow went up
questioningly, waiting for her to respond.

“Are you trying to tell me you did it
for my own good?” she demanded.

She leaned forward, fixing him with a
baffled expression, trying to understand exactly what he was telling her. He
was trying to humiliate her by bringing up the past, and how much she had felt
for him. She hadn’t thought he would take so much pleasure in hurting her like
this again. She turned away from his probing stare abruptly, not wanting him to
see the pain she knew was etched into her expression.

“Do you remember when your grandfather
called me on the carpet the summer you turned seventeen?” he asked curtly.
“Your grandfather warned me that if he ever suspected something was going on
between you and me, I would find myself in front of the preacher with your
grandmother holding a shotgun to my head,” he said humorlessly.

She couldn’t believe he would try to
blame her for his actions! He hadn’t done it for her, but for his own selfish
reasons. As for a wedding, she knew he would rather have run a mile then be
forced to marry her. She was the repulsive, unattractive, bothersome Stone
Girl.

“Don’t worry cowboy you’re the last man
I would ever consider marrying. When I marry, it will be to someone whom I can
see spending the rest of my life, not with someone who would treat me as a
substitute for something better; as you did,” she accused. “I don’t need your
pity. I know you didn’t care about me; I was just an inconvenience to you. It’s
in the past, I got it, and you can stop worrying. I have no illusions about us
being friends, or anything else, at this late date,” she said stiffly. She
raised her head, lifting her chin defiantly as she looked coldly at him,
bitterness lacing her green eyes.

He knew it was unreasonable to expect
her to feel the same as she had then. It stung hearing how quickly she had
gotten over the crush on him. It had evaporated the moment she stepped foot off
the ranch. Knowing that left a cold block of ice where his gut should have
been.

“Damn you’re stubborn,” he exclaimed
moving forward in his seat. Running a frustrated hand through his wet hair, he
looked angrily at her. “You were never a substitute Alexandria. Don’t you get
it? I knew you were behind me when I started shooting off my mouth. Did you
ever wonder why the man I was talking with looked so shocked by what I said?
We’d been talking about the game on TV that weekend when I interrupted him and
started spouting off about you and your family. He must have thought I’d lost
my mind!” he stated with thinly veiled contempt.

His dark gaze was steady on her face,
watching the emotions race across her features one by one. He waited for her to
finally comprehend what he had done and for what reasons.

The enormity of what Ty said opened her
mind to new possibilities. Did she trust him enough to believe he hadn’t really
meant what he’d said? Remembering the look of stunned disbelief on the man’s
face that night, she had to believe him. But why had Ty made love to her then?
She felt there was a powerful attraction between the two of them then, and now,
and though Alex couldn’t understand it, she knew he felt it too. Was it just
about sex? Ty still wanted her, he just wasn’t happy about it. She flushed,
suddenly understanding his behavior on that night that seemed a lifetime ago.
He might have desired her but love for her was something he wasn’t capable of
feeling. With Max threatening marriage, Ty would be bound to feel desperate to
push her away.

“Now do you understand Alexandria?” he
asked, forcing her to look at him. “You were too young to play the games that
your eyes kept begging me to play. Did you think I wouldn’t see that you were
in love with me?

Ty watched the color leave her beautiful
skin as she finally fully grasped that he had known. He had known how she felt
about him.

He hated knowing he had hurt her; more
than he had intended. He had caused her so much pain that night by pushing her
away the way he had. He despised himself for causing her so much heartache that
she felt she had to leave home to get away from him. Ty had the urge to pull
her into his arms and comfort her, but resisted the temptation, knowing she
wouldn’t welcome his embrace.

Hating the misery etched on her small
face, but knowing he was helpless to take it way, he got up from his chair to
refill his glass. After replacing the bottle in the liquor cabinet, he drifted
to the window to stare out into the night before he continued.

“You were a virgin. You were soft,
trusting, vulnerable, and loving. And I had wanted you with a growing hunger so
great… I couldn’t handle it. Seducing innocents was never my style and I knew I
could have had you any time I wanted. That is a major turn on to any man, honey.
I had to keep my distance for both our sakes. I just didn’t know how,” he
stated softly, looking into his glass.

Why explain how he felt
now, after all these years?
It was humiliating knowing that her emotions had been so
obvious.
Why not take advantage of the situation? Most men in his shoes
would have.
If he had given in and seduced her, he would never have had to
worry about money again, not in his lifetime. Ty was right. Max would have
forced them to marry. But, he had walked away instead of trapping her in a
loveless marriage. Alex was amazed that he had cared so much for her then;
probably more than even he had ever acknowledged. It hurt that he had cared,
just not enough to love her like she needed him to.

Had he really been protecting her, or himself?
Alex desperately needed to know, so she could finally put the past behind her.
She knew questioning him would just result in him denying it adamantly,
claiming he hadn’t felt anything but lust for her. Alex didn’t think even Ty
knew how deep his feelings ran. But, if this was her last chance to learn the
truth she was going to find out, once and for all, how Ty honestly felt about
her.

“So it was all for my benefit, right?”
she inquired, not failing to see the irony.

She watched his profile as he stood
looking out the window, waiting for him to respond. She could tell from the
grip he had on his glass that he was just as affected by the memories as she
was; he was exerting so much pressure his knuckles were blanched white. There
was sadness etched in the lines of his face, almost as if Alex had been the one
that hurt him.

“And mine,” he acknowledged over his
shoulder. His eyes were intense as he locked his gaze to hers and continued,
“If I had slept with you, we both would have been trapped in a marriage neither
one of us truly wanted. In time, you would have hated me as much and I would
have hated myself for forcing you into it,” he said solemnly.

Ty strode toward her purposefully,
stopping a scant yard away from the sofa, never taking his dark gaze from hers.
As he leaned down to place his glass on the coffee table, Alex watched the
muscles in his shoulders and biceps bunch under the fabric of his shirt. As his
eyes moved over her, she saw how full of guilt they were. Guilt he wasn’t
trying to conceal.

Moving closer to Alex, he reached down
and pulled her up from the couch. He slid his hands over the small of her back,
forcing her to lean her body into his. He needed to feel her in his arms again.
The contact of their two bodies was total, all the way up and all the way down.
She stiffened unconsciously at the intimacy of their embrace.

“Relax,” he crooned. “I’m not going to
hurt you. I can feel you trembling.” Ty held her in his arms, still moving his
hands along her back, rubbing the tense muscles in an attempt to soothe her.
“You can feel it too can’t you? It’s still there after all this time. We touch
each other and sparks fly.” His eyes, coming to rest on her mouth, softened
with desire.

Alex felt her body beginning to burn at
his touch. Her entire being screamed for his firm embrace. She gave up trying
to fight what she felt, it was hopeless anyway. She had been fighting it for
years, trying desperately to forget Ty and what he made her feel. She would
never let any other man into her heart. She knew she would love Ty until she
took her last breath. No man could ever take his place in her heart. He was
such a part of who she was. She had to hide how deep her feelings for him still
ran. He would pity her if he ever even suspected.

“Ty?” she said breathlessly.

God!
He loved hearing his
name on her lips, all husky with desire that she was powerless to hide from
him. Ty’s body instantly responded to her. He started smoldering the moment he
saw her in the room waiting for him. He slid one hand slowly up her body,
letting it still on her face. He watched her eyes close sensuously as if
savoring the feel of him holding her cheek in the palm of his hand. He gently
traced the contours of her face with his fingertips, as if he was trying to
memorize its shape, every contour. After gently removing her glasses, he traced
her eyebrows and her nose before he slid the pad of his thumb over her full
lips.

“Touch me, Alexandria,” he demanded
softly, bending towards her tempting mouth.

Alex felt her legs threatening to go out
from under her. She placed her hands on Ty’s chest, feeling a shock run up her
arms from the contact. Alex peeked at Ty through her lashes to see his
reaction. He smiled down at her, telling her that he that he was just as
affected. It was there in his eyes. His heart pounded beneath her palms as she
slid her hands over his chest and the hair that lay concealed under his shirt.
Alex longed to run her hands over his body, feel the hair tickle her fingers
and his muscles flex. Watching him work outside as a teenager had been very
informative; she knew there would be hair on his chest that narrowed down to
the snap of his jeans.

Ty was nipping softly at her lips now,
causing her to open her mouth to his increasingly demanding kiss. He was
burning up with the desire he sparked in her, set aflame when she yielded
entirely to him. Suddenly heavy, her lids slid closed as she surrendered to
their hunger, thrilled at the pleasure coursing through her body.

Her body was going up in flames in his
arms. He reveled in the soft moaning sounds coming from deep in her throat.
Alex’s hands slipped under his shirt, unconsciously trying to get closer to
him. He felt as if he were going to implode when she smoothed her soft hands
over his chest. Unaware, she started kneading the thickness of his hair like a
kitten.

He broke the kiss, needing to breath.
Placing his forehead against hers and gazing down into her face, he saw the
desire she didn’t hide from him. It transformed her face. When he looked at
her, it was like seeing another woman standing in front of him. Her lips
appeared soft and were swollen from his kisses, her eyes laced with a dream
like quality that made them shine like emeralds in their smoky depths.

“You still want me don’t you baby? Even
after all this time I can still make you burn. How many have there been?” he
whispered. He slid his hands under her shirt, feeling the smoothness of her
back under his seeking hands. He grazed the catch of her bra teasingly, wanting
to release her from the confines of it so he could hold her in his palm.

“How many what?” she asked confused.

Alex heard him, but almost as if in a
dream, dazed with the desire he was building in her. She was lost in the gaze
looming above her. His fierce, dark eyes were compelling her to crave his mouth
on hers, willing her to surrender herself to him again.

Watching Alex in his arms, he felt the
punch of awareness in his gut. He didn’t want to accept it, but it was staring
him in the face. If he was right, Alex was still unattainable to him. He could
not become her lover. The kiss they had just shared had not been the kiss of an
experienced woman.