Stone in the Sky (32 page)

They had a task that I knew was essential but wasn't my calling either. They left soon after Bitty was healed from her stab wound. Along with Siddiqui, they took Caleb's ship and crew and set about gathering any Humans they could find to bring them to the five colonies that I was hoping to convince Reza to help set up. We needed a representative in this new way, and Reza was the best equipped to lead.

“Don't you want to come with us?” Bitty asked me before she left with Myfanwy. It was hard to let her go. She was my family, and after all that had happened, I wanted to be with her. But we had different paths now, different dreams.

“I want to go down to Quint and try to make it bloom again,” I said.

The truth was that I wanted to bloom again myself. I had seen and done so much, and now I just wanted to go somewhere and be young. I'd had enough of fighting for what was right.

I hugged her for longer than I meant to, releasing her only when I reminded myself that she was still alive and that she would come back one day to visit me.

“I'm sorry about your friend Caleb,” Myfanwy said. “He was always kind to me.”

“You did know him,” I said. “He really cared about you.”

“I learned early on working for Brother Blue meant to forget what you knew,” she said.

I understood what she meant all too well. It was something I had never learned.

*   *   *

I was finally ready to claim my future.

Tournour caught up to me as I headed for the docking bay to catch a shuttle down to Quint to talk to Reza.

“You're leaving,” he said, pointing to the bags that held all of my personal items. It must have looked to him as though I were going away forever.

“Yes,” I said. Since Brother Blue's death and the aliens on the station coming together, he'd been busy coordinating how we would resist and survive while the Imperium took its time to collapse in on itself.

“Reza…” I started, but Tournour put his hand up to stop me.

“He's a lucky man.”

How was it that Tournour could be so intelligent and so thick at the same time? Here he was, not one hint of jealousy in him, completely ready to accept the fact that I was going to Quint to be with Reza. It never occurred to him that it was the furthest thing from the truth.

“He's the person that can best represent Earth. I can count on him.”

He knew that we were going to help settle the refugees from Earth and the Wanderers on all of the Human colony planets.

“Will you go to Beta Granade after? That was your original destination, wasn't it? I know you will do right by all the Human refugees there.”

He looked different as he said this. Disappointed almost. As though he were betraying an almost Human feeling when trying to think about where I would go and how that would affect him and his heart. With Tournour, duty always came first. He would expect that from me and never stand in my way, just as I had always understood that about him.

“No. That isn't my home,” I said, teasing him with my eyes. I was trying to tell him that there were so many different ways to stay true to one's path.

“Isn't it?” he asked.

“No.”

He took my hand and curled his long fingers around mine, and there could be no denying that both of our hearts jumped.

“My exile is done,” he said. “I've been pardoned, and I can go anywhere I'd like.”

“That's good news,” I said. “I'm happy for you. Do you have any idea where you'll go?”

I paused.

“Tallara is beautiful,” I said.

He pointed to my three alin plants. They were something to start with down on Quint. The shuttle down to Quint was called, and I let go of his hand.

“Will you be back?” he asked. “Is this goodbye?”

His antennae were flopped in a way I'd never seen before, and his eyes were even deeper and darker than I'd ever remembered.

“You have a terrible time reading me,” I said as the shuttle began boarding and I left him staring at me, confused.

*   *   *

“I'm surprised you put my name forth,” Reza said as I sat there and watched him pack his things.

“You're perfect for it,” I said. “It's what you were meant to do.”

The remnants of Earth Gov had wanted me to help lead the resettlement of refugees, but I had refused. It was Reza who had the real skills they needed.

“I'd like you to come with me,” he said.

“My place is here,” I said.

I could see that he was nervous, as though having to let go of his plan when he crashed on Quint made him doubt his ability. But I had seen the way he'd worked with the Wanderers and the aliens to make their homes. He didn't need me.

“I'm sure they'd like to meet you,” Reza said. “Think of it, because of you we have colonies.”

“Me and Brother Blue,” I said. That was the bitter truth. History would mix our names together, and the story would be muddled.

Reza sat down next to me on the bed and put his arm around my shoulder.

I could go with him. I could tell the real story. I knew I would be celebrated and revered. I would have wealth, power, and prestige. But what good was that? I had never sought it. What I wanted was a quiet life on Quint.

As much as Reza had played the part of being a farmer, that wasn't who he was. His time on Quint was a cocoon, getting him ready for this next part of his big life.

“It's Humans with a place in the galaxy. I want to share that with you,” he said.

This was what he was meant to do. Not me. I changed the subject back to the last orders of business.

“When the alin blooms, we'll have currency,” I said. “To supplement yours.”

He squeezed my hand.

Reza was looking at me with that sweetness in his eyes. It was dark and deep and beautiful and something to get lost in, but it was not where my heart was pointed.

I shook my head. I knew I didn't feel what he wanted me to feel.

“Don't you love me?” he asked. “I love you.”

“I do. I really do,” I said. And I did. It was such a strange love. A big love. A proud love. “But I see a different road for me.”

I looked at the window. At all of Quint.

“You want to stay here?” Reza said. “But there are others who can bring this planet back. Ednette and the Wanderers who are going to stay. You don't have to. You could come with me.”

“I don't want to,” I said.

“You want to be near him?” Reza said, his voice filled with jealousy.

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

“Tournour. He is not even Human,” Reza said.

“If I had wanted to be with Tournour I would have stayed on the Yertina Feray,” I said. “I'm here because
I
want to be here.”

“He's probably not even compatible,” Reza said. “You have to choose…”

“Why do I have to choose?” I asked. “Reza, you make me feel like a woman, and I love that about you.”

“What can Tournour make you feel like?” Reza asked.

“He makes me feel Human.”

Reza made a noise indicating his disappointment in me. But I didn't care. I had lost too much to care what people thought of me.

“Let me ask you a question. Would you stay here with me?” I asked him.

“No,” he said after a moment. “My life is out there.”

“Then you understand why I can't go with you.”

“This planet is a harsh mistress,” Reza said.

“But I can make it bloom again,” I said. “It's our first Earth colony. I can't leave it. This is where my space journey ends.”

He sighed deeply, and as angry as I knew he was, I felt that deep down inside he understood.

“You'll come back,” I said. “You'll have to visit and check in on us. And I'll be here.”

He pulled me into his strong arms, and we said our goodbyes the only way we knew how. With a soft kiss and a long hug.

Then he was gone.

*   *   *

It only took a few weeks, but I could see it whenever I walked to the edge of Reza's claim. A town was being born.

As it slowly grew, I spent my time making myself comfortable. Reza's house was mine now. I swept the floor and carefully arranged Reza's things, mixing them with my own. Even Trevor, broken down and useless, was there in the corner. It was as if Caleb was there with me, too.

I kept mysef busy with the slow pace of this new life. There were flowers to cultivate. There was community to build. I mentally made a plan for the months and years ahead. What we would need and how we would trade and thrive. I thought of Heckleck and knew he'd be proud.

Every day ended with a brilliant sunset.

As I prepared my supper, after weeks of being alone, I heard the hooves of an animal outside of my door. There were more and more of those larger kind of animals arriving on Quint and so I thought nothing of it. Soon, there would be herds. They would help tame this planet. It made me glad.

I heard a visitor dismount and the creak of footsteps on the porch and in a moment, there was a knock.

I opened it.

It was Tournour.

His antenna moved slowly from side to side.

He had his bag at his feet.

“Do you know what I think?” he asked.

“What?” I said.

“You are my home. You are my world. You are my galaxy.”

I smiled at him.

“What if our biology is too different?” I asked.

“Some things are the same.”

“It won't be easy.”

“We'll work it out,” Tournour said. “I don't mind if you get pleasure from being with Reza.”

I was in love with an alien.

“But I mind,” I said, pulling him inside.

“Why?”

“Because my heart minds,” and I tipped my forehead to his, and his antennae folded toward me.

“I adore your strange Human heart,” he whispered.

I was home.

I was finally home.

 

Acknowledgments

To my gentle first readers, Laurent Castellucci, Cylin Busby, Sarah Watson, Angie Chen, Alice Artemis Westover.

To the cluster, the shamers, and the nine piners, you are the wind beneath my word wings.

To Nicole Cloutier at NASA/JSC and Astronaut Rick Mastracchio for the spacewalk space talk.

To Nancy Mercado, who started me out.

To Connie Hsu, who brought it all home. Eternal gratitude for your amazing editing.

To Mimi Simard, who floated me when I most needed it.

To Gina Gagliano, Simon Boughton, and Roaring Brook Press for being so great.

To Kirby Kim for all the cheerleading and care.

To Skylight Books for the constant support.

To Steve Salardino, always.

 

About the Author

Cecil Castellucci
is a two-time MacDowell Colony fellow and award-winning author of twelve books for young adults, including Boy Proof, The Plain Janes, First Day on Earth, Year of the Beasts, and Tin Star. She lives in Los Angeles
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