Stone in the Sky (6 page)

I was wrong about everything, and I didn't know how to make amends.

“I have to go,” he said. “A ship is waiting.”

“You're going back to Quint now?” I asked.

He nodded.

“You're always welcome at my place,” I said. “Your next sweets or salts are on me.” I tried to smile. I tried to make it light, but I could hear myself and I sounded desperate. I was ashamed.

These were the kinds of moments that I wished I still had a mother to turn to for advice, or a sister to sit and talk with. Instead, I fumbled along this path of trying to grow up and I didn't know how to come of age.

He looked down at his feet and mumbled something. I couldn't tell if it was an acceptance of my invitation or a goodbye. He shrugged and turned away from me.

I watched his retreating figure, heartbroken.

Being Human was messy, but now I could own up to my confused feelings. And though I was not good at being Human, I was good at being messy.

I hadn't envisioned failure and silence, but now Reza was as close as Quint. That was something.

Thado floated over to me. I could feel the hot air from his blowholes.

“He's very intelligent for a Human, as you are,” he said.

I nodded.

“He cares for you,” Thado said.

“How can you tell?” I asked. I needed to have confirmation that Reza would somehow be in my life no matter how much I'd messed it up.

“He angles himself toward you,” Thado said. “Creatures in conflict angle away. Like trees that hate shadow.”

I put my hand on Thado's smooth, rubbery skin.

“Thank you,” I said. “I owe you one.”

“Always glad to have a favor owed from you, Tula Bane,” Thado said.

 

7

Word about the alin blooming on Quint spread through the station like wildfire. The news brought with it an excitement I had never experienced on the Yertina Feray before.

The whole station was coming alive in a way that it had only known in the past. I recognized it for what it was.

Life.

Eyes were wild. Fortunes yet to be made were being plotted. Alliances that would eventually strain and break were forming. It was there in every tip of the glass at the Tin Star Café. In every currency chit swiped. In every forced smile and heated conversation. Hope was in the air. Possibility abounded. It infected even me.

Soon the ships came. Hundreds of them arrived at the Yertina Feray, and it was a sight to see them coming. Every day new ships docked full of eager fortune seekers. There were familiar species but also types of aliens that I had never seen before were arriving.

“It's madness,” I said to Tournour.

“I am not going to be able to keep us off the Imperium's radar,” he said anxiously.

I could see how it was bothering Tournour, but there was nothing either of us could do. How can you stop a rush? You can't. It's relentless in its flow until it stops.

The rabble had come first, but when the truth of it had spread out to other systems, more sophisticated types came to the Yertina Feray with dreams of making a fortune down on Quint. And with them, came the people who saw a fortune to be made in the supporting of those heartier types. Gigolos and whores. Seedy merchants. Con artists. False prophets. Robot vendors.

Suddenly everyone wanted a Trevor unit to bring down to the planet with them to get whatever it was that they could find. Claims were only good as long as you could work the area and even though a robot could not do the delicate work, it helped to keep a claim open. Some people went for alin specifically. Others thought that there were additional things to be found there.

In order to keep a slight peace, only authorized ships were allowed to go down to the planet below. If anyone else tried to land, they were shot with a pulse that burnt out their electronics, and their ship was quickly hauled back to the station. The rush to get planet-side immediately meant that most of the ships that docked were then abandoned. If they were not claimed within a week, they were uncoupled from the Yertina Feray and set adrift. It was chaos out there. Ships floating away, empty.

Wherever there was a window, you could see them drifting.

After decades of being a ghost town, the Yertina Feray was bulging beyond its capacity. Old wings long abandoned were reopened.

I walked through the old parts of the station with wonder. The design in those wings, the styles were so different from what I was used to. I had explored some of these halls with Heckleck a few years ago, but to see them alive and bursting with population was a whole different thing. My world felt expanded. It was easy to imagine what the Yertina Feray had been like in its heyday. There were families who had come. There were adventurers.

Reza led the prospecting. I learned that as soon as he was well, he moved out of the med bay and then went straight back to Quint once he'd gathered enough equipment. I couldn't help but wonder about Reza and how he was doing down on the planet. No longer alone, but invaded by the desperate, greedy, and hopeful who crowded the planet, sifting for alin.

He only left his claim to come back to the Yertina Feray for more supplies, to trade his collected pollen, to take on workers to help him expand, and to meet with Thado in the arboretum for agricultural advice.

All of these new aliens arriving meant that it was harder to run into Reza, even though his name was on everyone's lips. I felt frustrated and caged; it seemed that everyone was coming and going except me.

He was always careful to avoid me. He lived in the underguts when he was on the station even though he could have stayed in the most luxurious quarters. He never came to see me, and it hurt.

“Since he came back to the station, you haven't been yourself,” Tournour said. “It makes me sad to see you sad.”

I looked at Tournour. It was too strange to talk of my hurt heart with someone who I had feelings for, too.

“He was my friend and now he's angry with me,” I said. “It's unsettling.”

“He was your mate,” Tournour said matter of factly.

“
Mate
is the wrong word,” I said.

“What is the right one, then?” Tournour asked.
“Partner?”

Partner was wrong. Tournour was more my partner than Reza ever was, but Reza's was the face I wanted to kiss. Was that just because he was Human and Tournour was not? I looked at Tournour again. To me, his face was handsome. To me, he was the being that I orbited. Then what was Reza? Boyfriend seemed wrong. Lover seemed wrong, too.

“There is no word for what we were. Just more than friends.”

“He's not even on the station. So I don't understand why you should care so much anymore.”

Tournour was looking at me with such intensity, as though he were trying to unlock the secrets of Human emotion. I could explain it to him one million times, and he would still be confused. I could not be angry with him for not understanding how intricate and complicated it all was.

“Yes,” I said. “It hurts that he's cut me off.”

“Human relations are so confusing. With the Loor it's all chemical. You are chemically bonded to a person or you're not. It's very simple. There is no gray area. With you it seems like you can feel a million opposing ways about one thing. It must be exhausting.”

If he had been another Human, he might have felt jealous or threatened by Reza's arrival on the station. But Tournour didn't seem jealous at all. He was truly interested in Human dynamics, always seeking to understand how I moved through the world.

We were made in such opposite ways.

“But you feel,” I say. “You feel love and hate and sadness and jealousy.”

“Yes, but it's tied into our bodies.”

“How is it that you feel for me when I'm not a Loor?”

“I cannot explain it,” he said. “It just is. All beings have a chemistry, and we react well or poorly to it. I do not like the Per, but I have met Per whom I feel for because they are not offensive to me. There is something about Humans. Your species smells like family.

“I can see with my eyes that he is a handsome Human male,” Tournour said. “And I could call myself a bit attracted to him. He smells as nice as you do.”

Tournour wasn't making my conflicted feelings about Reza any easier. I could understand jealousy. I couldn't understand sympathy.

“But how do you know that you like me?” I asked.

It is a question that I asked him all the time. He put his hand on my face, his antennae folded toward me, and he bowed his head.

“I feel for you in my heart as much as in my biology.”

I cupped his hand and took the moment in. It was new for me to feel love and I was still suspicious of it, but Tournour's care filled the hole that Reza was currently ripping.

His arms encircled me, and I leaned my head on his shoulder. This was as close as we got, and it felt good. But I couldn't deny that it was different than being physically with Reza. That was what my body longed for now that Reza was so close. I wanted to talk to him with my body.

“Are you feeling better now? Are you comforted in a way that is helpful to you?” Tournour asked.

I smiled. Having a relationship with an alien was tricky. Tournour put his hand on my back. He was so busy with all of the rush craziness and yet he still made time for me. It was a hard thing to reconcile that intimacy could mean so many things.

“Yes, Tournour.”

I kissed his cheek. He blushed. Kissing was not something that Loors did lightly.

“I must excuse myself to go on my rounds. The station never stops,” he said, and quickly left.

I headed to the Tin Star Café, which was the only place where I could get a good idea of everything that was going on.

 

8

Since it was where Reza, who was now a legendary figure, had started the rush, the Tin Star Café was the center of it all. Aliens felt that meant there was magic here. So it was where all of the claims swapping took place. Kitsch Rutsok's and the new establishments that had sprung up were jealous of how well I was doing.

Along one wall of the Tin Star there was an electronic map of the planet. I flipped it on, and the colored lights swirled. On the map, claims were electronically updated as they swapped hands.

Quint was not that large. It was half the size of Earth, but that was still a lot of space. Every last inch of the planet was being bartered over, and in a rush, every inch counted. It was something to watch, that map. The claims changed hands so fast that the board looked like a moving piece of living art. There was only one claim that stayed steady: Reza's. It was large and lay in the largest part of the Dren Line, which was the most fertile part of Quint. It was comforting to look at it. Looking at that line was like looking at him.

I was in a prime place to see how all of the allegiances rose and fell. And I took note of who was taking the most advantage of Reza's position as a rich speculator—by the way they used his name or tried to undermine him—and I gave them the worst waters. Or the water that was slightly off. Or the sweets that had just soured. It was my tiny revenge. I made it clear that any kindness to Reza down on Quint would be rewarded in small ways. It was the only way I could think of to help him. I hoped that one day he would come into the Tin Star Café to pick up some salts and forgive me.

But I had my life to live, and this new economy on the Yertina Feray caused its own problems. Part of me had to reutilize my bartering skills in order to make sure that everything ran smoothly. Every day had some bit of craziness to it now. I had just solved one problem when another arrived.

Kitsch Rutsok suddenly burst into my place with his goons behind him. His scaly skin looked shinier than usual, and I knew that meant he was in a rage. His tongue spat out toward me and vibrated as he spoke.

“You've stolen all of my customers,” he hissed.

“I've stolen no one,” I said. “Aliens do what they will, and your place is always full.”

“Not as full as it used to be,” he said.

“There are more places to go now,” I said. “You're not the only game on the station.”

“But I'm the first, and I'm the best,” Kistch Rutsok said. He said it out loud to everyone, as though he were advertising himself.

“That you will always be,” I said. “Everyone knows of your reputation.”

“I wish you'd keep your Human friend in your place,” Kitsch Rutsok said. “He comes into mine with his dust and bad energy and smolders in a corner. I'd offer him one of my comfort girls, but no one really knows what to do with a Human.”

That stung. I wished that Reza would come to my place. To
me.
I knew that being the start of something could be a burden, and I knew that talking with a friend was the relief. I could be that friend—that comfort—if he'd only let me.

“He's got free will,” I said. “He can go where he pleases.”

“But he's Human,” Kitsch Rutsok said. “You could reason with him. Influence him.”

I laughed.

“Perhaps I would feel better if you paid me a tax since I was here first,” Kitsch said. “After all, you likely learned how to run a place from me.”

I laughed again. “Go back to your place, Kitsch,” I said. “Don't bother me anymore, or I'll use what I know about you as payback.”

That made him quiet down. I knew too much about the illegal things he did. While he might be able to strong arm a tithe from the new aliens who were setting up shop, he could not force me to give him currency credits.

“Besides, we sell different things,” I said. “We have no competition.”

“Yes, you sell hopes, and I sell dreams,” he said, changing his tune. “You just have a better class of clientele.”

“Are you jealous?” I said.

It took a minute for the nanites to translate the precise meaning to him.