Stone (The Forbidden Love Series Book 1) (3 page)

    His eyes perused the room, watching the perverted stares of the other inmates undress me slowly as their mouths watered. He glared at them, throwing daggers straight at them between their eyes every chance he got. I approached him slowly with Bryan on my hip and Daniel glued to my hand. Bryan was the oldest, but was sickly and so attached to me, I always had to carry him everywhere we went. Alyssa was in the carrier strapped on my back. I felt like an octopus. I needed more hands than I had, and I was struggling to hold it together.

“Did you have to come dressed like a
whore
Maddie?” he whispered.

“I didn’t have anything else to wear. Here, help me, grab Alyssa. I almost broke my back carrying her.” I handed him Alyssa and he smiled, kissing her forehead before Bryan and Daniel jumped on him as if he were a human bouncy house.

“Sit. I’m sorry.” He noticed the tears that formed in my eyes. “It’s just that…well…look at these vultures. They check you out, then when we go back, I have to fuck somebody up for calling you names or saying that they want to fuck you.” He whispered staring at the other inmates. He didn’t understand I didn’t care. I had to go through a lot of shit to come up here to see him, not because I had to, but because I wanted to. I needed to see him. “By the way, happy birthday.” he said softly. I smiled without noticing and then I realized it when our eyes met and he was staring at me. Just him looking at me stirs up something I know I shouldn’t feel. I’ve felt this way ever since I met him when I was eleven years old, and I just can’t shake that funny feeling in my stomach when I’m around him.

“How’s
your
grandmother?” he said with a sting of sarcasm.

“She’s okay. I guess.”  I hesitated to answer. I know how much he hates her.

“So what’s up?” he patted Bryan’s head and gave Daniel a kiss on the forehead. Then he reached out and touched my hand, slipping something underneath my palm.
There goes that touch. The slightest touch that lights me on fire and burns a hole through my soul.
We sat staring at each other for a brief moment, like we did the first day we met. I lost my breath, then glanced at my hand as he slid his hand away from mine, gently trailing his last two fingers along the tips of mine.

“What’s this?” I asked grabbing it and sliding it underneath the baby bag.

“It’s rent money Maddie.” He said as he lowered his head.

“Rent money? How did you get rent money, Tiny?”

“Don’t call me that in here. I fucking told you a million times, when you come here,
I’m Stone
. Besides, I never want to hear that name again.” I lowered my head. He was abrupt and sounded angry. My feelings were hurt. “Maddie, please…you just can’t call me that in here…okay?” I was hurt, but angry with him at the same time. He had a short fuse and sometimes he’d take it out on me.

“Look…Stone or whatever you want me to call you. You know you can’t be doing illegal shit in here. What are you doing? Do you see the three kids that are sitting on your lap?” I shook my head. I couldn’t afford for him to get extra time on his bid for selling drugs in here. I wanted to give him back the money, but I couldn’t. We would be out on the street tomorrow and the kids would be taken away.

“Maddie, I know what you’re saying, I’ve been borrowing from the same guy for the last five years, it’s okay…just take it, for now.” He grabbed my hand gently. “It’s going to be alright. I promise.” I gave him a dirty look.

“Have you spoken to your lawyer?” I asked as I grabbed Alyssa’s baby bottle from the bag.

“Yeah. He said he’s been filing one appeal after another since my conviction. He said maybe another year if my appeal goes through. Plus, you were the only witness.” He lowered his head, then raised his head quickly as if he forgot to tell me something. “I got my G.E.D, Maddie. Not as hard as I…” His head shifted to the side. It seemed as if he recognized someone. I turned around to look.

“What’s she doing here?” It was his ex-girlfriend Lisbeth Cox. I hated that bitch. She had the perfect last name…
Cocks.
She was a rotten whore and I hated everything about her. She didn’t love Tiny, but once upon a time,
he
really loved her.
His
first puppy love. Their relationship drove me crazy. I remembered when he turned fifteen, he started acting different towards me. Sometimes he would leave without eating the eggs and biscuits I cooked for him and would go to school on his own. I’d stare at the eggs and biscuit that lay cold on the table, staring at the empty seat that was once filled with laughter and joy as we sat and ate together before school. Then, I followed him one day to school and he took a short cut passed Lisbeth’s house and then, I saw them. He was standing there, his back towards me. I looked to the side to get a better look and there she was…looking like a Barbie doll except she had long black hair. He was kissing her, feeling her up and she had her hand wrapped around his privates. The pain in my heart was unbearable. I ran away as fast as I could. The wind slicing my face as the pellets of rain slapped against my cheeks. I know we were just teenagers, but it hurt like hell. I felt like I would never recover.  
I was so jealous of her I almost wanted to cut the bitch.

“Don’t know, but this is the second time I’ve seen her up here.” He shook his head in disgust. “She’s probably fucking some Aryan-KKK motherfucker in here.” He chuckled. But, he wasn’t too far from the truth. The guy she was visiting was bald, tattooed, tall and scary as hell with a very long beard, unruly beard and the blackest beady eyes you’ve ever seen. I didn’t know if he was KKK or the head of an MC club or a fucking serial killer. Either way, the fucker was bloodcurdling scary.

“Listen, I’ve gotta go. Congratulations, on getting your G.E.D, I’m so proud of you. So, I’ll tell Spencer I got the rent money.” My blood was boiling. My body simmered in the toxic poison called jealousy. I was furious at the fact that he even acknowledged her. I started to quickly gather my things, slipping the money in my pocket when Lisbeth noticed me and started to walk towards me.

“Hey, playing mommy again, Maddie?” she giggled.

“I see you’re still playing the role of a dirty whore.” I eyed her up and down. “Biker guys? How typical.” I snapped.

“Fuck you, Maddie…not biker guys. Guys with
money
.” She barked.

“Money? Huh! Give me a break. He looks like he had to kill someone to get his money.” I didn’t give her eye contact. She was beautiful and had everything a man desired.
I was utterly crushed by her presence and for some reason, seeing her here, so close to him, made it even worse. How many times did she come here to visit? Was it really to see her husband or just to drive Tiny crazy?
“Step aside Liz. I’m not in the mood for your shit today.” I nudged her with my shoulder enough to push her out of the way and the prison guard walked over.

“Ladies, please leave now.”  He demanded.

“I just got here officer. I’m not going anywhere. I have a conjugal visit with my husband.” She glanced over at Tiny, then at me. She gave us the finger and then flashed her diamond rock. “See you around, Tiny…Maddie…a pleasure as always.” She grabbed on to her so-called husband and took off into the sunset; a dirty room with a mattress.
She deserves that guy.
Maybe getting an STD would be the ultimate wedding gift on her honeymoon.

“What’s the matter with you?” Tiny asked. His eyes penetrating into me as I slammed Bryan’s sippy cup on the table.

“Nothing…” I barked.

“Maddie, please…why are you leaving so quickly.” His eyes were desperate. I could tell these visits meant the world to him and it crushed him to see me start to pack up to leave. “I want to spend time with the kids…with you.” He stood in front of me, blocking me from walking away. The Correction officer started walking towards us. “Please…sit…sit down.”

“I…” I couldn’t say a damn thing. I was acting childish, immature. I was eighteen today and I’ve never acted like a child in my life with all of the responsibilities I had. But, today, I was hurt, knocked down, and he knew it,
but he didn’t know why
.

“Maddie, you should leave Bryan and Daniel with your grandmother.” He whispered.

“You mean
our
grandmother.” I barked.

“Lower your voice. She’s never done anything for me except make me pay for the bedroom you rent out in her home. She’s
your
grandmother.” He fixed Alyssa’s tiny shoe and grabbed Daniel.

“Look, you know I can’t leave them with her. She snorts coke and smokes meth, remember?” I began to tremble. He was pissing me off. He knows I didn’t trust that lady and yet, he wants me to leave the kids with her.

“You need to find a full-time job. I don’t know when I’ll be getting money again. The guy I borrow from was pissed at me that I was hitting him up for money again this time. I might have to find another way.” He lowered his head staring at the floor. I could tell he was ashamed. Ashamed of being locked up and not being able to take care of us.

“I’ll work it out. I promise. Don’t you worry about anything except staying alive until you get the hell out of here, Okay?” I nodded my head and gave him the
I’ll be fine look.

“I always worry. Maddie, they’re all we have.
You’re
all I have.”

“You mean,
I’m
all they have. Good Bye, Tiny…
Stone
. I won’t be coming up next weekend. I’ll be working.” I stood up, wanting to hug him tightly because I knew this would be the last time I would see him, but I didn’t. I needed to find and job and that’s exactly what I was going to do. I turned around and walked away with the kids. Daniel blew baby kisses at him and Bryan began to cry. Alyssa fell asleep with the pacifier. His face grew pale and his hands stood clutched together as we walked away. I turned around to look at him once more. The pain in his face was evident, it was almost as strong as the pain in my heart. I sucked in the tears that threatened to spill over in front of him and in front of the kids. I didn’t want to cry.
I spent too many years crying about my life and why shit just had to happen…to me.

     If Tiny knows me like he said he does, then he knows…
I don’t fuck around
. If I have to get a job…doing anything, then I will. I’ll do anything to protect them. I’ll do anything to protect him. We’re a family. That’s never going to change.

                                               
***

     I walked out of the facility to find my grandmother in her car near the bus terminal. My stomach winced when I saw her. I walked towards the car with the kids.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” She stared at me with a blank expression on her face.

“Well, I did bring you and the kids up here every weekend to see that jailbird for the last couple of years. I figured you’d need a ride home.” She could barely push out a smile. “I felt sorry for the kids…get in.” She motioned with her head for me to put the kids in the car. I did. “One condition…you drive back. You can drop me off.” She stepped out of the driver’s seat and walked around the car to the passenger’s side.

“How will we get back home?”

“I promised your mother I would take care of you.”
Really? Since when?
She threw me and the kids out two months ago. She said I was old enough to take care of them and myself since I was going to turn eighteen. She never looked back.

“Well, it’s a good thing Tiny was able to give me rent money.” I whispered.

“You can have this car. Now, drive…before I change my mind.” She turned her face and looked outside of the window. Tears welled in my eyes.
I hated her. I hated her for what she did to my mother. I hated her more for never loving her, the way my mother never loved me.

     It seemed like such a long ride home from the Adirondack Correctional Facility. We lived near Saranac Lake, a town with about five thousand residents. Everyone was up everyone’s ass. Nosey busy bodies in every corner. Small town, small minded people as my mother used to say. Everyone knew Tiny was locked up. They wondered how I took care of the kids; how I paid my rent.

     As I adjusted my rearview mirror, I could see the kids. They were already fast asleep. Bryan and Daniel’s heads were touching as they held hands in the back of the car, sleeping like two little angels. Alyssa slept peacefully as her tiny lips twitched.
My God. What am I going to do? I thought to myself. These kids need me. How am I going to work and take care of them?

     I drove to Airport Road and dropped my grandmother off at her house. She only lived three trailers down from my mom’s old mobile home. A sharp pain stabbed me in my heart for a moment. The pain went away as soon as I heard her voice.

“The car is paid off. The insurance is on me. Take care of those kids. They need someone to take care of them. Good-bye Madison.” She glanced over at the kids in the back of the car, looked at me and walked away. I wanted to say thank you, but it didn’t come out of my mouth. I’ll send her a card…maybe.

     I finally found a place to park across the street from the Deli we lived above. I rented a one bedroom that was just big enough for the four of us. I brought Tiny’s old cot with us when we moved, it sat in the living room untouched. I left it there to remind me that one day soon he would be coming home to us and we would be back together again. He got locked up when we lived with our mother and to this day…what happened haunts me.