Stoned (The Stone Series) (23 page)

Damian places his soft palm on my face and just holds it there as if he can erase the pain Ryan caused all those years ago.

“He said he had seen the way I had been looking at him. He told me he knew I wanted him to fuck me. I told him I didn’t. I told him that I was a virgin. He said, “Good to know, haven’t had one of those in ages.” He pulled his shirt over his head and shoved it under me. I didn’t know why he was doing that.”

“So you wouldn’t bleed on your sheets when he took your virginity that sick motherfucker. How could he have done that to you?”

“He told me it was so I wouldn’t bleed when he popped my cherry. I had no idea what that even meant. I barely knew what it meant to have sex. I was kind of a late bloomer I guess. I was shy and didn’t have a lot of friends to talk to about that sort of stuff and my mother...” I trail off.

“Then what happened baby? Tell me. It’s okay. You can do it” Damian calmly encourages me.

“It was my fault, I did like him. I had a stupid crush on him, my own step brother, what was wrong with me? He was right, I must have been sending him signals or something.”

“Stop right now. You know that’s not true. You were a child he was older than you. He knew what he was doing was wrong. You were acting like every normal little girl would. At that age a crush on a step brother you just met isn’t wrong, it’s just immature and what little girls do. You did not ask for it Sydney, he raped you.”

“I know, I know, you’re right. He raped me, he raped me and I screamed because it hurt so much but it only made him move into me harder and faster so I did my best to just lie there and let him do it. I remember thinking he’d get tired at some point and leave me alone. I didn’t really understand why he would finish, you know? I didn’t get the whole orgasm thing. When he did he asked if I was happy that he gave me what I wanted. He told me not to tell anyone. Then he said… “Sleep tight” and left my room. He said that to me every time he finished.”

“Oh, Sydney. That night, the first one when you were in the apartment when I left that’s what I said to you then you woke up screaming from a nightmare. I made you dream of it didn’t I? I’m so sorry. I had no idea. I won’t ever say it again baby I promise. Come here, you are so brave you amaze me.”

He holds me in his arms and lets me cry. I cry for myself, my lost youth and my future that will always be marked by the events of my past. When we are both finally spent he pushes back and I tell him there is more. I wipe the tears from my face with a soft appreciative smile.

‘I can’t hear anymore about what he did to you tonight. I honestly think I may kill him if I hear one more word.”

“I have to tell you something about Mark. I didn’t make the connection the night of the auction. 
I didn’t recognize him like I told you on the phone earlier but the other day he sent me a bouquet of flowers, rhododendrons actually. I looked up their meaning and it’s “beware”. The note inside said, “Sydney, I know who you are and what you’ve done. Does your boyfriend know? He will soon. Beware and sleep tight until we meet again!”

“Okay, both of them are going to get the fucking shit beat out of them and I’m going to enjoy every last fucking punch” Damian snarls between clenched teeth. He takes a calming breathe then continues, “Now baby this is going to upset you but the reason I asked about Ryan is I know him.”

“What do you mean you know him, Damian? How do you know him? Do not tell me he’s in this Society of yours because if he is all bets are off and I’m out” I scream at him, not really meaning to but my emotions get the best of me.

“Watch your tone, I have permission to take you over my knee remember? Now I know you’re upset so I’ll let it slide but consider that your one free pass” he warns then continues. “Ryan’s not in The Society, he’s the fucker who’s been playing with me over this hotel chain. He’s the one that made sure I was away this week. He must have known Mark met you. Maybe they were planning to scare you and figured they’d get me out of the way. When you told me his last name I had Mac run another background check on him and it’s him. We don’t know where he is right now. He was in South Beach with me at his hotel when Jonesie called me. You were on speaker phone so Mac heard you say his last name too; we went running when we heard. When we went back in, Mac and I ready to rip him apart and I swear to you Sydney if he was there he’d be dead right now but he was gone. He must have known that Mark was harassing you; we’ll discuss the fact that you hid that from me later and that will not get you a free pass.”

“He’s coming after me again, I just know it. It’ll never be over” I cry.

“You will have round the clock security from Dominick, Mac or Jonesie at all times do you understand me? You go nowhere without one of them or me with you. And if either of those fuckers calls you or sends you anything, you tell me immediately. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, sir” I say jokingly but he takes me seriously and rewards me with a “Good girl.” “Now, lets’ talk about your hiding shit from me.”

Chapter 1
1

I am able to talk Damian into letting me get some much needed sleep. He was not pleased when I told him that I
needed to be able to get up for work in the morning. An argument began and I decided to just put it aside until the morning so I agreed to stay home even though I have no plans on doing that. I fall asleep as soon as Damian lies down next to me and wraps his arms around me.

************

As soon as Sydney falls asleep I run my hands through my hair not sure if I’m trying to straighten it or mess it up more. Then I sneak out to speak with my security team. They have found out that Ryan was on a flight into New York earlier this evening and they assume he’ll either be staying with or at the very least contacting his old buddy, Mark. They have stationed men around the clock at Mark’s apartment and at the building where he works.

“When you catch either or both of them no one calls the police until I’ve seen them. Understood? And don’t be gentle when apprehending them. Beat the fucking shit out of them both because when I get my hands on them what you’ve done to them will feel like a fucking massage.”

I tell them I’m going back to bed with Sydney but to wake me if there’s any more news. When I enter my bedroom I am facing the most beautiful sight, Sydney asleep in my bed. I didn’t stop to notice this the first time I came through this door to find her here; I was too desperate to have her in my arms. She is the first woman ever to be in my bed. The other women I’ve been with have all been solely for sexual pleasure; we never spent the night together. I’ve never even had sex in this room. I’ve only been with women at The Society or at other locations, never wanting them here in my space...until now.

I lay down behind her, curl around her and pull her body to mine. When I wrap my arm around her my hand finds hers and my finger absentmindedly begins playing with the ring I gave her. She’s wearing it on her ring finger of her right hand. For a minute I almost wish it was on her left hand. Fuck, what is happening to me? I’m lying here with a woman I haven’t fucked, haven’t even played yet and I’m thinking about her wearing my wedding ring.  I need to get laid and fast. I’d hoped that the party at The Society would have moved that along tonight but now I’m not sure the timing is right after the recent events.

I brush the hair off her face and tuck a few pieces behind her ear. She is lovely. Ryan took so much away from her but she managed to survive it all and remain amazing to me and I’m sure everyone else around her. Her strength is what I think will allow her to be mine. She’ll be able to submit when I need her to but retain her sense of self for her everyday life. That’s been the problem with my subs so many times in the past. Once they submit fully to me they are no longer a challenge and become too needy. I think Sydney will continue to challenge me every step of the way. As much as she needs to submit I can also see her trying to top me. And the scary thing is, I just may let her.

Sydney stirs and turns to face me. I plant a soft kiss on her forehead then another on her nose. She smiles as she wakes and when she opens her eyes I kiss them closed again. Her hands go around my neck and into my hair, pulling my lips to hers. I now have her at the waist with one hand and my other hand has found its way into her wild hair. I love her hair. Its burnt red and the sexiest hair I have ever seen. Her hair always looks like she’s just been fucked and good; it’s tasseled, loose and wild all the time. Her skin coloring is a contrast to her locks. Most redheads have light skin but not Sydney. She’s exotic looking with skin that looks like she’s spent a month on a beach somewhere.  But it’s her eyes that do me in, they are blue with a touch of almost violet and when I look into them, like I am at this moment, it’s as if she can see into me, into my soul. It’s not a place I’m accustomed to people being but I’m finding her there more and more often.

I lean into her and gently kiss her lips then pull back so we’re close enough to kiss, I can feel her breath on my lips but I don’t kiss her again. I lean in with my mouth open then pull back. She moans and wets her lips with her tongue, all the while looking at my lips, craving to have them cover hers. I finally take her bottom lip between mine and suck hard, feeling it swell. Before releasing it I give it a nip with my teeth and she moans again, this time a little louder. She runs her hands over the muscles in my chest and over my biceps as her moans continue reminding me of my earlier email. “Like what you feel do you?” I jokingly ask. “Because there’s more of me that’s just as hard you know?”

She laughs and pulls me to her for another kiss. This time our tongues find each other’s and the electrical current that surges between us is for lack of a better word, electrifying. I can’t get enough of her mouth, her lips. She seems to feel the same way, her hand is in my hair and she’s pulling me hard against her mouth. I know we are both going to have sore bruised lips by the time we’re done and I don’t give a fuck. I have never, not even as a teenager and certainly not with Samantha or my subs just made out with someone. It has always been a fast prelude to hard kinky fucking. I never realized how much kissing someone could drive me wild. Or maybe it’s just Sydney that drives me wild.

************

Damian and I are making out pretty heavy in his bed. I can feel his erection pushing into my stomach and I know he’d like nothing more than to have it inside of me but he’s too afraid of scaring me to ask. If he asked or made a move of it, I think I’d let him. As much as I am beyond scared of Ryan and Mark and my past, being with Damian like this doesn’t remind me of any of that. I decide it’s time to tell him all the horrid details I remember.

I break away from our embrace and lick my lips, savoring the taste of Damian on them. He smiles at me and says, “You look gorgeous after being kissed like that. You’re lips are very puffy and sexy.”

His are too, the sight of them making a deep sigh escape me. Damian asks what I’m thinking and I start my story of lost innocence and trauma. “I need to tell you about Ryan. I need you to know all the details because as I was just lying here with you making out, I was thinking about having sex with you; I want to have sex with you. When I’m with you like this it doesn’t remind me of how it was with Ryan but I think I may have some triggers that will. I know you said last night that you didn’t want to hear anymore about what he did to me but I need you to know so you’ll understand if there’s something I can’t do or if I freak out on you over something, okay?”

“Baby, I wish none of it happened to you but if you want to tell me then I want to hear. I just couldn’t handle anymore last night. You understand? It was a bit of a shock and my temper was not under control. You have not seen me in a rage and believe me you don’t want to. I swear to you though, when we find either or both of them the rage that they are going to experience will be like never before.”

“I know you want to defend me and protect me but you can’t go around beating people up. You’ll be arrested. How will that look for your company?”

“I don’t give a fuck about anything but you. They have it coming to them; they need to be taught a lesson. And don’t worry about me being arrested, it won’t happen.”

I don’t ask why he’s so confident that he won’t be arrested for assault if he beats either or both of them up, instead I begin my story. “So I already told you about the first time. The following night I never thought it would happen again. I was confused and in denial I guess. I still didn’t think he meant it, I still thought he was sleep walking or something, I don’t know. So the next night when I heard my door open I froze with fear. I was still in pain from the night before and now that I knew what he was going to do it was even worse. I tried to get out of bed but he was on me so fast. I started crying and begging him to leave me alone, I told him he had hurt me but he just laughed at me. He told me I was ugly and stupid and that I had no friends. He said I should be happy for any attention I could get and that none of the boys at school would ever want me. He said he was doing me a favor. He told me things like that for four years, Damian. That’s why I don’t see myself the way you do. When you tell me I’m pretty or sexy I don’t believe it. I guess I believe you maybe think that but I can’t believe it’s true. When I look at you, God do you have any idea how perfect you are? It actually hurts for people to look at your face. I have seen a few parts of you without clothes and your body’s just as amazing. I can’t understand why you’d want me. I’m so damaged and you could have any beautiful woman you want, ones with no baggage.”

“I’m glad to hear that because the beautiful woman I want is you. I know it will take you some time to believe me when I say this but Sydney, you are stunning. Your hair brings me to my knees, your eyes look into my soul and that’s a place I have never let anyone into before. Your body drives me crazy and I haven’t seen an inch of it naked yet. I will spend the rest of my days trying to repair the damage that asshole did to your self esteem. I will make you see what I see when I look at you. And don’t for a minute think that others don’t see it too. You just don’t realize how other men look at you. It pisses me off.”

I kiss him gently on the cheek, take a deep breath and continue. “So that second night he raped me again. He raped me like that every night he could. I tried to talk my dad into letting me go live with him. I told him I hated my mother but he just thought it was the natural drama of a teenage girl and her mother. But I did hate her Damian, I still do. How could she not have known what he was doing to me?”

“I don’t know, baby. People get wrapped up in their own lives; they only see what they want to see. I don’t think any mother could know her daughter was being raped every night in her own bed and not do something about it.”

I continue with the worst of it. “He even raped me when I had my period and I know I didn’t tell you this when we talked about our relationship but I think that’s going to have to be a hard limit for me. The first time he raped me when I had it he flipped me onto my stomach then pulled me up onto my knees and he put it inside me but not where he had before. He said it was my fault that I had my period and that he had to fuck me in…” I can’t finish the sentence, my head down, and too embarrassed to make eye contact with him.”

“That’s why you want anal intercourse to be a hard limit too? Let’s give that some time. I want you to be able to let me. I want to replace your memories of him. It will not be like it was with him; it will be to make you feel good, everything between us will only be to make you feel good baby, trust me. I will never hurt you. We’ll take that slow I promise. Let’s not talk about this now. Go ahead and finish.”

“The time he let Mark and some other friend watch was terrible. I was so embarrassed and I don’t know why they didn’t help me. They thought he was so cool that he was doing that to me. They both wanted a turn. If my mother and Robert didn’t come home when they did they would have raped me too. I couldn’t make him stop but the worst of it was I never really tried. I never fought him. I was too scared and I started to believe everything he told me. He told me that no one would believe me, that he would tell everyone I came on to him and he turned me down, that I was just trying to get him into trouble. I was trapped until I left for college. I left and never looked back. I was starting to put it behind me until Mark showed up and now it’s all a mess again.”

Damian takes me into his arms more firmly and says, “Yeah, but this time you have me and I promise you not Mark, Ryan or anyone else is ever going to hurt you again.”

I glance at the clock and Damian notices, he knows what’s coming next. I tell him I want to go into S&S so I can get stuff together for Megan’s project tomorrow. He agrees without a fight which I’m pleasantly surprised about but confused. He says that I can go into work but only if I take security with me and I have no choice but to agree to his conditions. And now I understand, he’ll let me out of his sight if I have an armed guard with me at all times.

Damian asks Mac to come with me to my apartment while I get ready then take me to S&S and never leave my side. He asks for an hourly check in from him so he’ll know I’m okay. Damian smoothes the hair back out of my eyes and tucks it behind my ears as he kisses me on my forehead. “I will have a dress for this evening delivered to your apartment later today. Can you be ready to go by seven? I’ll come down then. And Sydney, do not disobey me on this security thing” he says as we say good-bye. I had forgotten all about The Society party tonight.

Mac and I head down to my apartment and he draws a gun from his hip as I punch in the code to unlock the door. He enters the apartment first and makes me follow directly behind him holding me close to his hard toned back. The girl that shares this man’s bed is one lucky lady. There’s no one there and he gives me the all clear. I tell him to make himself at home while I get ready for work.

I shower and put on my jersey twisted strap dress in purple then step into my sandals. I slap on some light make up and head out. Mac smiles when he sees me and asks, “Ready to go?”