Stoned (Unlikely Heroes Book 4) (15 page)

Stoner snorted out a laugh, then made a caustic retort, but the lightheadedness was making Karen’s head spin, so she wasn’t sure what he said.

Stoner got up from the couch. He bent to haul Karen to her feet. “Come on. It’s hitting you a little harder than I thought it would. I’ll take you upstairs so you don’t embarrass yourself.”

She swayed toward him. He caught her. She let out another giggle. “Upstairs? To your room? I like the sound of that. Will you ravish me, Stoner? Please say yes. I want you to soooo much.”

He scooped her up into his arms and headed for the door. “Later,” he whispered in her ear. “When you’re not so high. When I make love to you, I want you to be aware of everything I do to you.”

“Stoner’s finally gonna get laid!” one of the guys snickered after them.

Stoner climbed all three flights of stairs with her in his arms, hardly appearing winded. They reached the top. Pausing outside of his room, he fished the key card out of his pocket.

The key card floated in front of her eyes as he swiped it though the slot in the door. Karen giggled.

He pushed open the door and strode into the room. Setting her down on the bed, he started to turn away. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him back.

“Don’t leave,” she whispered. “I want you, Stoner. Take me, please.”

* * *

If Stoner had known she would get this high off of one puff of smoke, he wouldn’t have encouraged her to try it. But everyone had been watching them, including Viper, whom Stoner had seen standing out in the hallway, observing their every move.

Everyone experienced marijuana differently the first time, so Stoner had had no idea how it would affect her. He should have taken into consideration the fact that she was tiny, the fact that she’d never smoked it before, and the fact that she was scared and alone in a place she would likely die in.

Her inhibitions were completely gone. Her imagination was running rampant.

He too was beginning to feel the effects of the drug, though he had a higher tolerance than she did. He wasn’t in the habit of getting stoned, but this wasn’t his first time smoking dope. In order to be convincing, he had to partake every once in a while or Viper would get suspicious.

Karen’s arms tightened around his neck. As much as he wanted to make love to her, he couldn’t do it while she was high. His conscience balked at the idea of taking advantage of her like that. When he made love to her, she would be aware of every touch, every kiss, every little lick and taste…she would feel it all. And she would be aware of exactly
who
was loving her.

Stoner removed her arms from around his neck and pulled away.

She fell back against the bed. “You don’t want me?” Her eyes filled with tears. “You didn’t mean what you said in the note?”

Shit.
He probably shouldn’t have given her that damn note, but she’d been so broken he’d felt compelled to do so. He’d wanted her to know he didn’t care about her mastectomy and that he still wanted her.

“Oh, I still want you. But you’re high and I’m starting to feel it now too. I don’t think now would be the best time for us to have sex.”

She sat up. Giggled. “You’re probably right. But I still want you, Stoner. You’re one incredibly sexy man, you know that?”

Warmth spread up his neck and into his face. God, that made him feel good, even if she was high and didn’t know what she was saying. He’d never believed she would be attracted to him, that she would ever want him the way he’d wanted her for eight long years.

“You’re high,” he repeated, but he wanted to believe her. So damn much.

“So. Won’t you at least come sit with me? You’re the one who made me smoke it, you know.”

Though he hadn’t forced her, Stoner had pressured her to smoke weed. It was his fault she was high right now. It was his responsibility to make sure she was okay.

It was up to him to make sure he didn’t take advantage of her right now, no matter how badly he wanted to climb into bed with her and make love to her.

She reached for him. “Come on.” Snagging his hand, she pulled him toward the bed. He hesitated, then sat down next to her. He was tired. The marijuana was making him drowsy. It wouldn’t hurt if he sat with her for awhile.

She scooted up next to him and laid her head on his shoulder. She had definitely lost her inhibitions. Stoner wrapped an arm around her waist and squeezed her against his side.

It was unlikely either of them would survive this place. So would it really hurt to make love to her? What if tonight was their last night on earth? If he was waiting for a better time and there ended up being no more time, he would have ruined his only chance of being with her.

Shit.

She lifted her head from his shoulder. “I don’t feel so silly now,” she whispered. “Could it be wearing off now?”

He cleared his throat. “It’s possible, though the effects usually last a couple of hours.”

“I am pretty tired, though. Will you cuddle with me?”

His heart sped up.

Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump.

He swallowed hard.

“Okay,” he whispered.

Please God, don’t let this be a mistake.

Together they pulled back the covers. Karen climbed in the bed fully clothed. The only thing she removed was her shoes. He, however, always slept in the nude.

He removed his vest and draped it over a chair. She let out a soft giggle. Next went his shoes and socks, his T-shirt, and finally, his jeans. He strode to the bed naked. She let out a soft gasp of appreciation, making heat creep up his neck into his face.

“You are one fine specimen of manliness.” She burst into more giggles. She was definitely still high.

Stoner slid into bed beside her. Could he keep his vow to not touch her? His body was already reacting to her words and her closeness as she scooted up next to him and laid her head on his chest.

Stoner breathed out a sigh. He lifted a hand to stroke through her soft hair.

“Tomorrow,” she whispered, lifting her head to look into his eyes, “When we’re not high, I want you to make love to me. Will you do that? Will you prove to me that you truly don’t care that my boobs are gone? That I’m only half a woman now?”

His chest tightened. God, how could he tell her no? She wasn’t only half a woman. She was
all
woman. All five-foot-two inches of sassy, curvaceous womanness.

“Yes.”

She laid her head back on his chest and let out a soft, contented sigh. Within moments, her breathing slowed and sleep claimed her.

Tenderness consumed him. God help him, he had it bad for her.

And when Viper gave the order, Stoner would be forced to kill her. How could he even contemplate snuffing out this beautiful woman’s life? Even in sleep, Karen hummed with vitality.

His heart constricted.

What the hell was he going to do?

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Karen woke in Stoner’s bed, in Stoner’s arms. He was snoring softly beside her. Her head felt a little fuzzy. She searched her brain, trying to remember what had happened the night before. She recalled inhaling on the bong, feeling lightheaded, and giggling. Lots of giggling. Kissing Stoner. Stoner carrying her up the stairs.

Oh God.

She sat up slowly so she wouldn’t wake him and glanced down at herself. She was still fully clothed. The note he’d given her was laying crinkled on the mattress under her thigh. She snatched it up and flattened it out against her leg. Reread it again.

I’m sorry.

It makes no difference to me.

I still want you.

Whether he’d meant the words or not, the note was special to her. She was going to keep it forever.

Her gaze traveled over to Stoner’s body. His strong, muscular chest was bare, the sheets tangled around his hips. She stared at the surgical scar running down the center of his chest. What had happened to him? A second, smaller scar on his left chest muscle, about an inch long, caught her eye. A knife or bullet wound? He appeared to be in the best physical health and both scars looked old. What kind of man was he?

As soon as the question entered her mind, she knew the answer.

A good man.

Unable to stop herself, she lifted the covers and peeked underneath, quickly dropping the covers back again.

Holy hell! He was naked. She lifted the covers again and stared.

Damn, the man was a perfect specimen of manliness.

Wait a second. Had she said that last night?

He began to stir beside her. She dropped the covers again, her cheeks heating.

You are one fine specimen of manliness.

Had she said that? Dear God, what else had she said or done?

His eyes opened. His gaze focused on her.

Karen smiled. “Good morning.” She cleared her throat. “I, um…” she broke off, unable to get any more words past her tangled tongue.

“No,” he said softly, grabbing her hand. “We didn’t.”

“Oh.” She breathed out a sigh of relief. How had he known what she’d been unable to ask? “Good. I was a little worried that I’d done something stupid.”

A flash of pain flickered in his eyes, then was gone, so fast she wasn’t sure if she’d imagined it or not. Had she insulted him somehow?

“I didn’t dance naked on a table or have sex with a bunch of strangers, did I?”

He chuckled. “Not that I recall. I brought you up here before you got too crazy.” There was a teasing glint in his eyes now. Had she imagined that quick flash of pain moments before? God help her, she was falling in love with this man.

The breath snagged in her throat. How could that be? If she were honest with herself, she’d admit she hadn’t truly cared for very many men in her life. Yet with Stoner, she was developing genuine feelings for him. She didn’t understand it. She barely knew him. How could she have strong feelings for a man like him? A drug dealer? A criminal? What was wrong with her? Yet he’d taken care of her, protected her, even at the risk of his own life. And there was something between them that she couldn’t deny.

She cleared her throat. “And we didn’t, um…?”

“No.” He sat up, tucking the covers around his waist, his gaze intense on her face. “You feeling okay this morning?”

She nodded, then blurted, “Why didn’t we? Don’t you want me anymore?” She waved the note in his face. “Didn’t you mean any of this?”

There was a long pause.

“Karen, I…” He broke off, rubbing a hand over his face. “Of course I still want you. But I wasn’t about to make love to a woman who wasn’t sober enough to remember any of it the next day.”

Her breath caught.
Oh.
He really
did
want her.

The more she was around Stoner, the more she liked him. Little by little, he revealed small pieces about himself, yet he was still so secretive. He wasn’t like the other bikers. So why was he really here? Tonya had said Stoner was doing business with Viper. If that were true, then why was Viper so suspicious of him? Was there more going on here than she realized?

You don’t have a clue what is going on here.

Stoner’s words from that first day came back to her. What had he meant? Why was Stoner really here?

A long silence stretched between them. How could the man be so many different contradictions? An asshole one moment, sweet and kind the next…

Who the hell
was
Neal Stone? 

She was pretty sure he wanted to know what had happened to her, why she was only half a woman. But he was too polite to ask. Which was another contradiction. She was positive Neal Stone wouldn’t hesitate to blurt out a question he wanted an answer to. Yet he was showing kindness when she least expected it. Karen’s own mother had died from breast cancer at a young age, so it wasn’t unusual for Karen to succumb to the same cancer at a young age as well. The only difference was that Karen’s cancer had been caught early enough that the doctors had been able to remove all of it. Undergoing a full mastectomy had saved Karen’s life. Her breasts might be gone. But she was still alive.

“I’m a hard man, Karen. I don’t do relationships. I don’t do…tenderness. I don’t know…
how
.” He lowered his gaze, appearing at a sudden loss for words.

“You just showed me tenderness.” She placed a hand on his arm. “You don’t know how much this note means to me.” Her voice cracked. She shook the slip of paper at him again. “I will keep this note, cherish it forever. I never told anyone about my cancer. At the time, my daughter wasn’t speaking to me. She was still pretending I didn’t exist. I hadn’t seen her since she was a baby. I was an only child and both my parents were deceased, so it was just me. All alone.” She set the paper back on her thigh, gently traced the letters with her finger. “My insurance wouldn’t pay for reconstructive surgery, so now I have to resort to stuffing my bra to make it look like I have boobs.” This was the first time she’d spoken about her cancer to anyone. The surgery, the chemotherapy…it had been the most difficult time of her life. But she’d survived.

Amazingly, Stoner didn’t show any discomfort by the personal nature of the conversation. He appeared…genuinely interested. There was empathy in his gaze. Understanding. How could he not think he was tender? Karen felt a strong pull toward him, a connection unlike anything she’d ever shared with any other person before. Yet she’d only known him for a couple of days. How could this be possible? Was it simply the situation they were in or was there something more between them? Something rare? Something special?

“I don’t know what it is about you,” she went on, “but I feel a connection with you, a strong pull that I’ve never felt with anyone else before. How can that be possible when I just met you? Do you think it’s just this situation I’m in, being held captive and turning to the one man who can give me comfort?”

He drew in a deep breath, exhaled. But there was something in his eyes, something raw and vulnerable, that took her by surprise, and tugged at her heart. Seeing any kind of weakness in such a strong man was a shock. But it made him human.

“Possibly.” His voice was husky.

Karen searched his gaze, but for the first time since they’d met, he turned away, avoiding her eyes. Why? She hesitated, then whispered, “Did you really mean what you said in the note? You don’t find me…repulsive?”

His gaze slammed back to hers. “I meant every fucking word.” He shoved the covers aside and slid out of the bed, striding naked across the room toward the bathroom. He paused, spun back around to face her. “I already knew who you were when we caught you out in the woods the other day.”

His blunt statement shocked her into temporary speechlessness. She stared at him. “What?” Her gaze searched his. “What do you mean?”

“I saw you at John Williams’ trial eight years ago. I was in the back, watching the proceedings.” He glanced down at the floor. “I was drawn to you. You were the most gorgeous woman I’d ever seen. Your beauty captivated me. So this pull that’s between us…it’s not new. I’ve felt it for the past eight years.”

Stunned, she leaned back against the headboard. He’d seen her at John’s trial? He’d thought about her for the past eight years? She didn’t know what to say. Who the hell was he? She swallowed hard. “Why didn’t you approach me, talk to me?”

He shrugged, his gaze crawling back to hers. “A woman like you doesn’t associate with a man like me.” He let out a soft laugh. “I was too intimated by you. I wasn’t good enough for you. I’m still not. Besides, would you have even given me the time of day?” 

Karen considered that for a moment. She’d been a different woman eight years ago. She probably wouldn’t have looked twice at him. But now she was different. She’d changed. She’d noticed Stoner the moment he’d approached her in the forest the other day. His very presence had excited and intimated her at the same time. The moment she’d yanked off his hood, she’d felt an instant attraction to him. He wasn’t a handsome man, but to her, he was beautiful. He was right that he was a hard man, but he was also kind when he wanted to be, and he’d shown her compassion, tenderness. The note he’d written said a lot about him.

“I’m associating with you now.” 

He let out a snort. “Only because you have to.”

She held his gaze. “No, because I want to.”

They stared across the room at each other, neither speaking, neither moving.

She sighed. “No matter what happens between us, I’m still going to escape at the first opportunity.”

His lips twitched. His gaze lazily swept the room, then paused on something behind her. He stiffened. He pulled his gaze back to hers. “I wish you luck with that.”

Was he mocking her? She glanced behind her, trying to see what had caught his attention. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, she turned back to him.

“You won’t help me escape?” She studied his features.

He didn’t even hesitate. “No.”

Her chest tightened, pain slithering into her heart. “No? But earlier you said…”

“I said what I had to, to get you to do what I wanted. Nothing more.”

What? He’d played her? The pain in her chest intensified.

“But…” she tried again. “Not even after…what’s between us?”

“Viper would kill me if I helped you escape, Karen. It doesn’t matter what’s between us. If you survive this place and by some miracle, Viper decides to let you go, you’ll never see me again. At the moment, you’re safe. He needs you to clone pot. So you should just relax. This place really isn’t that bad. But if you try to escape, he might decide you’re not worth it and kill you anyway.”

She stared at him for a long moment, searching his harsh features. He was lying. Why? Why was he gentle one moment and a total ass the next? He was the most perplexing man. 

“Don’t you ever…
feel
, Neal? Or are you as cold on the inside as you appear on the outside?”

An indescribable emotion flickered in his eyes, then was gone, so quickly she wasn’t sure if she’d imagined it. Was he as cold and unfeeling as he pretended? Or did he have a heart somewhere deep inside? What would she find if he ever let her search his soul?

What about the note he’d written? Had it been spurred by lust? Was sex all he wanted from her? Was sexual attraction all that was between them? If so, why had he thought about her for
eight
years? And why wasn’t he willing to help her escape? Was he afraid of Viper? Or was there some other reason he didn’t want to get involved? Who
was
Neal Stone?

“Why did you join the Cobras?”

He didn’t answer for a long moment. “I had my reasons.”

She quirked a brow. Did he not want her to know about the business deal he was doing with Viper? If so, why not? Was that really the reason he was here?

“Care to share those reasons with me?”

“No.”

And just like that, he’d erected a wall between them. Frustration swelled in her chest. She marched toward him.

“What the hell do you want from me, Neal? Sex? Is that all this is?”

His gaze hardened. “What else is there?”

His words stopped her cold. “
What else is there
?”

She unlocked her frozen legs and continued toward him, hurt and anger pressing her on. She reached him, slapped a hand against his chest. “So you thought about me for eight years, but all you thought about was sex?”

“Like I said, what else is there? I told you I don’t do relationships.”

Her breath hitched. “What about the note? Why did you write it?”

“I saw you fall apart in front of me.” He looked away as he spoke, as if he couldn’t stand the sight of her. “A broken woman wouldn’t be able to clone pot for Viper. I needed you to get it together.”

She gasped, stepping back. Hurt spiraled though her chest, squeezing around her heart. “You said you meant every word.”

“I did.” 

“But…” she trailed off, words failing her. What the hell was he saying? “What about the connection between us?” What about what he’d said at her house yesterday?