Storm Front (The Charistown Series) (Volume 2) (16 page)

RYAN STOOD STONE still as her
parting words carved through him like a knife—nicking and slicing with each
pass. He’d done this. His anger, his jealousy, and his behavior had broken
Ashley’s heart and killed Leo. He had ruined the lives of his family. He fucked
up.

“There comes a time when ‘I’m sorry’ only buys you a nod
from the person you love as they close the door in your face
.”

“God, Leo. I am so, so sorry. I know it’s not good enough. I
know I can’t bring you back, I know. I’m just so fucking sorry.”

Freight Train

NAUSEA SWIRLED AROUND Ashley’s
insides as an innate chill encompassed every fiber of her being. There was no
way—no way—Leo was gone. Her brain kept repeating that message but her heart
felt like lead with each heavy pump. She had just stepped out of sight when the
sound of her father and Ryan’s raised voices froze her mid-step.

“You’re gonna just let her go to that morgue alone? See her
brother, alone? What the hell is wrong with you, man?”
Ryan’s voice was
tense with confusion and hurt that she had never heard from him before.

“It would probably be better if she said goodbye to Leo on
her own. That’s how those two did things. She needs to be alone with him. You
wouldn’t understand, son. I’m not what she needs. They have—
had
—a
connection. Their mother and I raised independent children. They don’t need
us.”

Ashley swallowed the bile that threatened to escape her
mouth. He actually sounded proud of himself. How could her father even think
that? Of course she needed her parents. She always had. They were just never
around.

“Are you kidding me?” Ryan’s voice deepened. “You know what,
sir? You are one twisted son-of-a-bitch. Your son and daughter did have an
amazing connection. They did.” Ryan’s voice got louder—clearly he didn’t care
if he was making a spectacle of himself. “They had to because they had two of
the worst, most negligent parents around. You and your wife have spent their
whole lives being
amazing
doctors, saving lives, smiling for the cameras
and donating your dollars. But do you know what people say behind your backs?
Do you? They all know what kind of miserable excuses for parents you were—still
are. They know that neither of you had anything to do with the amazing people
that Leo and Ashley somehow turned out to be.”

Ashley listened intently as her father began to defend his
actions. “Quiet down, Ryan. We can’t have you making a scene in the hospital.”
There was a brief pause before her father spoke again. ”Son, you have no idea
what it takes to make it in this world.”

“First of all, don’t call me ‘son’. You had a son, and you
ignored him. You put everyone else in the world before him and now YOUR SON IS
DEAD!” His voice was filled with angst and contempt. “And your daughter is
devastated because not only did she lose her brother, but she lost her best
friend.”

People around them were quiet and blatantly listening in.
She heard Ryan’s sneakers squeak on the linoleum floor as he moved closer to
her father. He began to speak in a voice that Ashley knew to be lethal.
Although outwardly less aggressive, it took on a dangerous edge. “Let me clue
you in, you ignorant ass. They did things ‘that way’ because they only had each
other to count on. Yes, you bought them nice clothes and good food, but I’ll be
honest with you, pal—any father that lets his daughter go visit her dead
brother in a morgue alone doesn’t deserve
one
child, let alone two. So,
as far as I see it, you’re half way to getting exactly what you deserve.”

Those final words were like icy water being dumped over
Ashley’s head. New tears poured down her cheeks as she quickly rushed toward
the morgue. All these years her parents’ neglect and indifference had crushed
her inside, but hearing someone else validate the feeling she’d kept locked
away made her surprisingly relieved, yet so deeply sad.

The hairs on Ashley’s neck stood straight up as she neared
the double doors to the morgue. “
I can do this, I can do this.”
She
repeated her silent mantra as she approached the one place in the hospital she
had never seen before.

“Miss Kynde, I am so sorry for your loss.” The coroner, a
young woman who couldn’t have been more than a handful or so years older than
Ashley herself, seemed so sincere with her words. She didn’t appear to be
anyone’s lackey. So Ashley allowed the woman’s words to penetrate through her
deep sadness, anger, and fear.

“I can’t imagine what you must be going through right now,
but would you mind if I offered a small piece of advice?”

Ashley looked at the petite brunette with the wire-rimmed
glasses and the pale blue eyes and nodded without saying a word.

“Miss, Kynde—”

“Ashley.”

“Umm, okay, Ashley.” The coroner tucked a piece of hair
behind her ear. “I’ve been at this hospital a couple of years now and I’ve
heard about you and your brother…”

Ashley felt her shoulders tighten and her posture
straighten. She had been wrong. Apparently this woman was just another minion
looking to score points with her parents.

“Look”—Ashley found the nametag on the woman’s lab
coat—“Anna, I don’t mean to be rude but I don’t give a damn if you’re trying to
impress my parents right now. I just want—”

“Ashley,” Anna’s voice was soft and gentle, “please know
that I mean no disrespect when I say I don’t think you should go in there by
yourself. Your brother, he’s—”

“Leo.” His name felt like a prayer slipping from her lips.
“His name is Leo.”

Anna tipped her head in acknowledgement. “Leo, that’s a
great name, a strong name. I’ve heard so much about him over the past few
years.” She smiled warmly. Well, as warmly as one could smile when working in a
morgue. “I’m just wondering where your parents are. You shouldn’t be down here
alone.”

“I…I haven’t even seen my mom,” Ashley stammered. “My dad
saw me in the emergency waiting room, when I found out Leo …d-d-died, but that
was all. I told him I was coming down here but he didn’t follow me. I…I—”

At a loss for words, her heart slowly sank from the middle
of her chest to her feet. “I just want to be with…with him.”

The tenderness on the mortician’s face was almost Ashley’s
complete undoing. “I get it, I do. I understand that you want to be with
him—that you don’t want him to be in there alone—but, Ashley, I was in there, I
saw him.” Ashley looked up at Anna’s face and saw a sorrow that hadn’t been
there a moment before.

“You saw Leo?” Ashley’s voice sounded broken and small to
her own ears.

Anna nodded bleakly and put her hand on Ashley’s shoulder,
“Let someone take care of you, Ashley. Please, don’t look at your brother in
this condition. From what I’ve heard about the two of you, he wouldn’t want
this for you. I can promise you that.”

Tears welled up in Ashley’s eyes just a moment before her
body started to tremble. She wrapped her arms tightly around her frame, and
slid down the wall that had been holding her up. Protected by her own shield
she got lost in her grief and let loose her devastation.

“Ash.”

Rivers streamed down her face and she hunched into a ball
with her arms snaked around her legs and her head resting on her knees. She
felt his arms around her and melted into his embrace, thankful for his
presence.
Have I ever cried so much in one day before?
She asked
herself, but she already knew the answer. There had never been a day in her
life where she hadn’t felt loved by Leo—where he hadn’t made her feel alive—so
no, she had never cried like this before. The last twelve hours had been the
worst of her life. With the thought of how many bad days she had yet to come,
an uncontrollable shiver made its way throughout her entire body.

“Are you cold?” Ryan slipped his body behind hers and
wrapped his long legs around her, holding her closer. She heard him take a deep
breath and felt the warmth of his exhale on the back of her neck. Anna came
back with a blanket and draped it over them. Ashley was grateful for the
gesture but now that she’d lost her sunshine she knew it would take much more
than a blanket, or even Ryan’s arms, for her to ever feel truly warm again.

Waking with a jolt, Ryan clutched at his neck. Falling
asleep on a hard floor was never the best idea. As he started to come around he
heard Ashley’s voice. It was hoarse and thick with emotion and for a quick
second he questioned why.

“Ryan, I’ve got to get home.”

“Ouch, what the—” Lifting his hands to wipe the sleep from
his eye he managed to bang himself in the eye with his cast. The cast was a
reminder of why he was there at the hospital. For a brief second he’d forgotten
about yesterday and for that split second he was still Ryan Baker—Leo Kynde’s
best friend and Ashley Kynde’s boyfriend. For just a fraction of a second, life
was still beautiful. Then he hit himself in the face with fiberglass and
everything came rushing back through his mind like a freight train. Memories of
yesterday assaulted his consciousness and practically knocked him breathless.

“You just remembered didn’t you?” Ashley’s bloodshot and
puffy eyes stared down at him and the misery and hopelessness in them damn near
broke his heart in two. “I did the same thing when I woke up. You feel like you
got hit by a bus, right?”

“A freight train, but same difference,” he deadpanned.

“Oh, okay.” Her voice sounded empty, hollow—just like her
eyes. He stood up slowly, feeling every muscle in his body rebelling against
the motion. “Sleeping on the floor sucks. Thanks for staying with me, Ryan. You
didn’t have to.”

“Ashley, of course I stayed with you. I love you. I love
Leo—” He felt a tight lump in his throat as he corrected his statement, “I
loved
Leo. I’ll never leave you, Ashley. Never.”

The shimmer in her eyes nearly broke his heart. What kind of
love did he show her yesterday? What kind of love did he show Leo? Guilt lanced
through his gut as the events played through his mind once again.

“Ryan, I know you love…
loved
Leo—”

“Ash—” he cut her off, not liking the tone of her voice or
where he suspected the conversation was heading but Ashley put her hand up to
stay his next words.

“I know you loved him and he loved you. The two of you were
amazing together. It was magical and entertaining.” The corner of her mouth
lifted for a second but her stare dropped to the floor. When she finally looked
him in the eyes, all traces of warmth were gone. In its place was detachment
and distance. “Please don’t ever doubt how deep my love for you ran. It was
deep, Ryan. Bone deep. The problem was I don’t think you loved me as deeply as
you thought you did.”

He opened his mouth to interrupt her again but she gently
placed her hand on his arm, her touch dissolving all of his words.

“You couldn’t possibly love someone with all of your heart
and simply toss them away like yesterday’s trash.
‘I’m through with her,’
that’s
what you said. I know—I know—you probably didn’t mean it. In fact, I’d be
willing to bet my life for his”—she pointed to the steel doors separating them
from the cold sterile room that held Leo’s body—“that you didn’t mean it at
all. But you said…no, you
screamed
it. And when you did, you broke
something in me that you can’t fix. I’m sick of being everyone’s trash. Do I
think you’re sorry? Yes, Ry, I know you are. But, sorry isn’t going to get you
out of this one. I’m sorry I called my big brother crying yesterday. I’m sorry
I asked him to come home. I’m so fucking sorry, but he’s still gone. I love
you, Ryan, but you were right, we’re through. So, if you actually do love me,
just let me go. I need to be left alone. That’s how I’m meant to be.” She
swiped the steady stream of tears with the palm of her hand. “Just. Leave. Me.
Be.”

He stood motionless and watched her turn away from him and
walk silently down the hallway.

Out of his life.