Storm of Desire (9 page)

Lisa was weak, but so was Kurt. Hurt and betrayed, Sam had run into Aiden’s arms. And hurt him. What a vicious cycle.

Swiping at her tears, Sam put aside the article and reached for the envelope with her name scrawled in Lisa’s girlish handwriting.

With a feeling of dread, she pulled out the sheets of paper and began to read. The letter, dated the day after Sam had graduated from law school, began,
My darling Samantha, please forgive me.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

I KNOW I’VE
hurt you badly,
Sam read
, but I never intended that incident with Kurt to happen. I’m truly sorry. Someday maybe you’ll understand why I betrayed your trust and why I selfishly thought only of myself and my needs that day. I don’t expect your forgiveness, but I hope you’ll try to understand.

I haven’t always been a good mother, but please believe I love you more than anyone in the world. I’m so proud of your accomplishments and of the way you put yourself through school. Yesterday seeing you graduate from law school was one of the proudest moments of my life. You’ve always been so smart, like my sister Rosie. At times I envied you both for that.

My sister was always the smart one, the one who got all the praise from our parents, especially our father. I was the pretty one that no one expected much from. I learned early on that my looks got me a lot more than any smarts could. I had one thing men wanted, and I used it. I enjoyed the feeling of power I had over them. That was until I fell in love with your father.

I’ll tell you about him one day, Samantha. You deserve to know the truth. He was older than me and seemed to offer the glamour and wealth I’d always craved. I loved him desperately. I foolishly thought I’d have a life with him, that he’d take care of me. But he broke my heart and wasn’t the man I’d thought he was.

I may never have the courage to give you this letter, but I had to write it—to tell you how I feel. You and I could never talk to each other. You were always closer to Rosie. It hurt me that you could share your feelings with my sister but not with me. I realize I’m to blame for not trying to understand you, for trying to be more like a friend than a mother. I’ve always been a selfish person and I’ve paid for it, believe me. But what hurts the most is I’ve lost you.

I want you to know how very much I love you. As bad as my behavior was at times, I tried to protect you. When I sensed a man might be looking at you in the wrong way, I got rid of him. I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you.

Samantha, you’re a sweet, intelligent, beautiful daughter any mother would be proud of. I hope someday you’ll let me into your heart again and we can be a real mother and daughter. Somewhere there’s a wonderful man worthy of you. I wish you love, real love, laughter, and children. I hope I can be part of your life, part of your children’s lives. But I’ll understand if I’m not.

Your loving mother.

The paper slipped from Sam’s hand. She bent over, her breathing shallow. The tears poured freely, dripping onto the papers strewn about. Unable to stop the flow of tears, Sam rocked back and forth as low, keening sobs wracked her.

Her mother was a deeply flawed woman, but she’d always loved Sam. Lisa was proud of her, proud to have a daughter like her. Why couldn’t her mother have told her this before, or shown her how much she loved her? Sam didn’t know if she could completely forgive her mother for her betrayal with Kurt. The futility of it all pierced her heart, bringing a fresh round of tears.

She pressed a fist to her mouth, trying to suppress her sobs. She’d come to Fenwick to be alone, to think. Yet, she’d found so much more. She’d discovered a part of her mother she’d never known, discovered a bit of her history. Most of all, Aiden was back in her life. Was he back for good, or was their affair just that—a fling?

“Sam?”

Gulping deep breaths, she turned toward the doorway. Aiden stood there, his brow furrowed. She opened her mouth to tell him she was okay, but no words came.

“Sam. Sweetheart.” He sank onto the bed and gathered her into his arms. “I don’t know what’s wrong, but it’ll be okay.”

He held her close while she cried tears of anger, hurt, and frustration—cried for the mother she’d never known, for a lonely childhood that hadn’t had to be, for the mother Lisa could have been, and for her own stubbornness in not really having tried to know her mother.

She cried too for the closeness she’d felt with Aiden these days. And the knowledge it had to end.

Finally, with the help of the tissues Aiden offered her from the nightstand, she managed to stem the flow of tears. Sniffling, she pulled away from Aiden and swiped at her eyes. “I got your shirt wet.” She rubbed a hand over his T-shirt.

He took her hand and held it against his heart. “The shirt will be fine. What’s going on?”

She waved a hand over the mess of papers. “I found these.” She gulped air. “I know who my father is. I have brothers.”

“Can I look at all this?” he asked.

“Go ahead.”

After Aiden finished reading, he silently stacked the papers and slid them into the envelope. Without speaking, he took Sam by the hand and led her to her room where he tenderly slipped off her jeans and sweater, then pulled back the bedcovers. “You need to rest. Get into bed.”

As if in a trance, she did as he ordered. Aiden undressed to his boxers and slid in next to her. He flipped the comforter and sheet over them and enfolded her into his embrace.

“It’s okay, Sam. Sleep. Relax. I’m here for you. We can talk about this later if you want.”

Secure in his arms, she closed her eyes. “Later,” she said, and drifted into sleep.

<><><>

Sam woke to darkness and a quiet house. Aiden slept next to her, his features relaxed and younger-looking. She skimmed a finger over his lips. He opened one deep blue eye, then the other.

“Feel better?” he asked.

“Yes.” She brushed a light kiss on his lips. “Thanks for understanding, for helping me.”

With a smile, he took her in his arms, held her tightly and rolled so she was on top of him. Her hair fell over his chest and he brushed it back, hooking it behind her ears. “I’ll always be here for you, Sam.”

Would he? She couldn’t ask the question, was afraid of the answer. She suspected he wanted more from her than she could give.

She pushed aside those thoughts and settled more comfortably, folding her arms on his broad chest and staring down at him. “I feel so sad. My mother really does love me. I never felt that growing up. I wish she’d told me. I wish we could have been closer. Yet, a part of me can’t forgive what she did with Kurt. Am I wrong to still feel this resentment, especially since I was about to break up with him? But my mother didn’t know that.”

“You’re human, sweetheart. What you feel is normal. What your mother and Kurt did was reprehensible. Don’t beat yourself up over it. You and Lisa may never be close, but she reached out to you with that letter. Give her a chance.”

“I’ll try.”

“Will you try to contact your brothers?”

She shook her head. “I’m not sure I want to know them.”

“You’ll do the right thing.” He cupped her face between his hands. “It’s the kind of person you are.”

With his thumb he tenderly rubbed her cheek. “I want to make love to you.”

She felt herself falling—falling for him. The revelation confused and scared her, then all thought vanished when he massaged her nape with his strong, calloused fingers. He cupped the back of her head and pressed her closer. His touch made her body come to life. She was truly lost.

“Aiden,” she whispered.

Then his mouth, hungry and demanding, was on hers. She opened for him, needing him, craving him with a hunger that tore at her soul.

His fingers traced the line of her back while his mouth plundered hers. Shudders of need wracked her. Intoxicated by Aiden’s drugging kiss and her own desperate needs, Sam gripped the smooth, firm flesh of his shoulders, reveling in his heat and hardness.

Aiden flung away the bedcovers and cupped her bottom to gently lift her off him, rolling her onto her back. He knelt beside her as his smoldering blue gaze, sinful and tempting, trailed over her body.

“I want to see all of you,” he said in a thick voice. With agonizing slowness, he unhooked her bra, helped her out of it, and tossed it over his shoulder. He filled his hands with her breasts, worshipping her with his eyes. Leaning closer, he took one of her pebbled nipples into his mouth. He teased each nipple, provoking moans of pleasure from her. She plowed her fingers into the richness of his hair as something deep and yearning pulsed in her.

He teased a path down her body, nipping and kissing, laving her navel. With exquisite tenderness he slipped off her thong and tossed it aside. He raked his hot gaze over her, a starving man ready to devour the meal of a lifetime.

Sam’s whole body tingled from the fire in his eyes. She raised her arms toward him. “Please.”

He positioned himself between her legs and caressed the curls at the juncture of her thighs, then slipped his fingers into her soft folds. He slid in and out, his wicked, dark gaze locked on hers. She moaned softly as waves of pleasure rolled over her.

“Sam,” he whispered, dipping his head. When his tongue found her hot, moist center, she uttered low moans of pleasure and grabbed handfuls of the sheet, twisting her head back and forth.

“Easy, Sam, easy.”

With his tongue, he sucked and licked. She buried her fingers in his hair as her climax built, a raging ball of fire that consumed her. Shudders swept through her and she rasped his name.

With wonder in his eyes, Aiden kissed his way upward, then held and stroked her face. “Sam…”

“What?” she managed.

His features tightened and he released a breath. “You’re amazing.”

He slid off the bed and slipped off his boxers, kicking them aside, then grabbed his jeans from the floor. Digging in one of the pockets, he pulled out a foil-wrapped package, opened it and slid on protection.

The musky scent of their lovemaking filled the room, enveloping Sam in sensual heat. She held out her arms, inviting him to take her.

Without a word, he eased over her, then entered her. His lips touched hers in a shattering kiss that melted the last bit of loneliness around her heart. She kissed him back with all the yearning she couldn’t voice.

They moved as one, hard and fast. They climaxed together, clinging to each other as waves of pleasure washed over them.

When their breathing returned to normal, he kissed her gently on the lips and rolled off her, gathering her close. Her sweat-sheened body felt chilled, but Sam didn’t want to move from Aiden’s arms. Tears gathered at the corners of her eyes. No man could ever give her the pleasure or the fulfillment she felt with Aiden.

And that was the problem. Their time together was coming to an end. A future without him stretched before her. She pressed against him, wanting to savor every minute in his arms.

CHAPTER TWELVE

THE HOUSE WAS CLEAN
for Lisa and Sean’s return tomorrow. The cats were fed. They’d be okay alone tonight. Late morning sunlight streamed through the half-open curtains, touching the spot where Sam stood in the living room, her packed bag by her feet.

She didn’t know how she could go back to her sterile existence in Richmond after spending the most exciting, erotic days of her life here with Aiden.

They’d made love again last night before falling asleep in each other’s arms. She’d have her memories, but memories wouldn’t warm her during the lonely nights ahead.

A small window of hope opened. Maybe Aiden would ask her to come back, to be with him. She dismissed the hope. She didn’t know what she wanted, couldn’t commit to anything. Aiden knew it. He wouldn’t ask.

“I guess that’s it,” he said, coming into the room. He’d dressed in the sweater, jeans and leather jacket he’d worn that first day. When he looked at her with hooded eyes, as if trying to mask his thoughts, a pang of regret arrowed through her.

She swallowed and glanced down at her suitcase. “I’m ready.”

His features tightened. With determined strides, he started toward her. His cell phone vibrated, stopping him in mid-stride. With a shrug of annoyance, he slipped it from his pocket, checked the display, then answered it. “Hello, Uncle Sean. How was the cruise?”

Aiden glanced at Sam as he listened to his uncle. “Great, I’m glad you had good weather,” he said. “Things are good here now. Tell Lisa not to worry. The house and cats are safe. The nor’easter hit Fenwick pretty hard and the Coastal was closed for a few days, but we all survived. Yeah, I got stuck at the house when I came to get the cats. I called my brothers and they alerted the authorities, so everyone knew we were here.” He raised an eyebrow at Sam. “Samantha was at the house when I arrived.”

His attention still on Sam, Aiden said into the phone, “She stopped here on her way to a conference in Philly and couldn’t leave. She’s okay. Uh, what’s that? Sure.” He held the phone out to Sam. “Lisa wants to talk to you.”

Sam shook her head and held up her hands. Until she digested all she’d learned about Lisa, until she decided what to do, she couldn’t talk to her mother.