Stormfront (Undertow Book 2) (29 page)

I watched Eila and An
a
walk along the water’s edge of the secluded beach near where we had moored Cerberus. They hunted for shells and sea glass, comparing their treasures to one another and commenting on how they could make this or that into a piece of jewelry. The southern sun made the salt water crystals on their faces sparkle and every once in a while, Eila would turn to me, holding up a shell, thrilled at her find.

The sight of them, together as friends, was both heartwarming and painful to witness.

MJ slid one of the paddleboards along the sand, dropping it next to where I stood. He flopped onto the board, his long body nearly reaching the entire length. “I need to get me one of these. Paddle-boarding is almost better than surfing,” he said, staring up at the branches of a tree near us.

 
Kian walked up next to me, tossing some driftwood for our fire next to MJ’s board. “You can have that one.”

MJ sat up, his face surprised. “Are you serious?”

Kian looked at him, “Are you going to question the gift, or shut up and accept it?”

“Nope! No questions! But seriously, thanks Kian,” replied MJ, admiring the board that was now his. He ran his hand down the polished edge of his newest toy.

“MJ is easy to please, but you are a whole different story. What’s on your mind, brother?” asked Kian, looking at me.

Kian had never called me brother, unless as
a snide putdown, but this time was different. I looked at him, “Brother? Since when do you call me brother?”

Kian shrugged, leaning against the bark of a windblown tree that jutted out of the sand. “I saw what you did on Sandy Neck. I got nailed and you came to help me. You ordered
Rillin to help me as well. I get that we haven’t always gotten along, and most of the time I’ve wished you
would
break your neck, but you put your life on the line for me that night. So yeah, I can call you brother, but only because the term ‘friend’ is a bit too cozy for me.”

I was shocked, but I got it.

We were part of the same team – the same group of fighters.

We would always butt heads, but at the end of the day we had each other’s backs, MJ included. “Thanks . . . brother,” I replied, my eyes going back to Eila, who was inspecting something in Ana’s hand. The girls’ heads were almost touching as they stood together, looking into Ana’s palm.

“So, you going tell me what is going on, or not? Because I’ve never seen Ana or Eila so happy, but you look like you need a Prozac or something.”

I finally turned away from the girls, and MJ and Kian watched me closely. “I talked to
Rillin while we were on the plane. He knows about Eila’s true background with Christian. He figured it out because of the scar on her chest. He must have seen it when he helped her on Sandy Neck,” I replied, defeated.

MJ dragged his hand through the sand. “Raef, he was destined to find out eventually. Don’t sweat it, although I don’t understand how the scar gave her away as part Mortis.”

“The scar she has he called a soul scar, and he apparently is covered with them. Mortis who manage to survive a hit from a Lunaterra throwing the Light, end up with a scar, just like Eila.”

Kian thought for a moment. “So, she caused her own scar?”

I nodded, “Basically, yes. She is her own enemy, genetically that is. On the plus side, her healing ability thanks to the Mortis side of her, is probably why she survived the Core Collapse.”

“That is seriously messed up,” muttered MJ.

“So Rillin knows. Is that such a big deal?” asked Kian.

I ran my hand down the bark of the tree, hoping it would dig into my skin and ease my pain. “I also found out why the Lunaterra were having children so young. I guess after years of inbreeding, they were starting to have some genetic abnormalities. One of the biggest problems
was their shortened life spans.”

I
turned my attention back to Eila. She and Ana had sat down on the beach and were talking while digging their feet into the sand.

“How short?” asked Kian, now also looking at Eila.

“Twenty to thirty years,” I replied, my chest tightening.

MJ swore and looked at me, “Does she know, Raef?” I shook my head.

Kian rested his hand on my shoulder. “Raef, man. We will always outlive them and we can’t read the future. She is part Mortis, and that could make her lifespan long and rich. We don’t know which set of genetics dictates what inside her, but human lives are not endless. Someday I will say goodbye to Ana and I’ve learned that no matter how I try to control the future, I have to accept what exists just for today. I have to live with Ana for today, knowing that tomorrow may never come for either of us. Don’t dwell on what you cannot control nor predict.”

I turned to Kian and he dropped his hand. “What will you do, when Ana’s life is over?” I asked.

“I’ll be done as well. I’ve lived long enough, seen enough. When her life ends, hopefully when she’s old and gray in her 90’s, I’ll be sure to end mine as well,” replied Kian. “Raef, I know what you tried to do inside the Breakers and I get it. But what would’ve happened if you had succeeded? Eila would never have recovered from losing you. It would have destroyed her, piece by piece. You can’t do that to her. I debated the same thing when Ana told me to leave. I couldn’t fathom living without her by my side and I couldn’t see her ever forgiving me. I almost did it, but then I realized if she ever found out, she would blame herself. And look at me now. I have her back and she’s happy. Had I killed myself, I would have never been able to find this future with her. You would’ve never come back to the Cape and met Eila. Shit happens for a reason and sometimes you just have to go on faith that it will work out.”

MJ looked up at Kian and I, his voice angry. “You two debated suicide? You don’t do something like that – you suck it up and deal! You two are my friends as well
, and we sure as hell are not engaging in some messed up suicide pact. And as much as I hate agreeing with him, Kian’s right. You can’t see the future, Raef, and I will guarantee you that Christian never thought he would knock-up Eila’s grandma. Eila herself is proof positive that the future is an open road. Heck – this time next year, she could be holding a baby that looks a heck of a lot like you, Raef!”

“THAT future I can avoid, I assure you,” I replied, though the idea of having a child with Eila filled me with
a warmth that I had never even debated. My mind shifted to a vision of her tucked into my arms, with a little dark haired baby resting on her chest.

So much of what I had always
believed were unshakable truths had been shattered over the past few months. My world had been turned upside down, twisted with moments of perfection and desperation. I was a Mortis, but I had a human side as well. A human side that I had completely ignored until Eila fell into my life.

Ana and Eila started calling to MJ and we all turned to see the girls standing on the two other paddleboards on the beach, smiling. They wanted MJ to show them how to use the long boards and he yelled back that he was coming.

He got to his feet, looking back at Kian and I as he hoisted his board from the sand. His face was as serious as I had ever seen it. In that moment, he no longer looked like a tall, lean high schooler, but a faithful friend and comrade.

“Listen
, you two idiots,” he growled, “we live for today. Really live, just as Eila wants us to, because she and Ana deserve it. Hell, we all do. We get one shot at this life. One shot to make it epic. I intend to leave one heck of a legacy and not regret a single moment of whatever Fate says I have left. I sure hope you two will join me, because I suspect you have only survived for the past century and a half. It’s time to start living, losers.”

MJ turned and jogged down to the girls with his new board.

Kian started walking towards them as well. “Hey – you joining them?” I asked.

Kian looked at me over his shoulder, “Heck yeah. I’m not letting a dog call me a loser, are you?”

“Hell no,” I replied, and headed straight for the girl I loved.

We had spent the da
y
in our own corner of paradise.  I could still feel the subtle tilt of the paddleboard ripple through my body with Raef pressed against me, showing me how to paddle straight as I stood on the board.

I showered in Cerberus’ bathroom, my skin salty and sun
-kissed and entirely warmed right through to my bones. Everything about the day had been perfect, including the evening bonfire we made. I had leaned back against Raef while we sat by the fire, his hand drawing circles around my shoulder. MJ told stories of shark encounters on the Cape and horrible customers at the Milk Way.

When the moon had climbed to her high perch in the sky, we had gathered all our things and took the paddleboards back to Cerberus. The yacht seemed to float on a halo of light
, thanks to the running lamps that were hidden below the dark water line.

We could night swim in the yacht’s aura, if we wanted to.

We could pluck mussels from the sea floor, if we wanted to.

We could run away for the rest of our lives, if we wanted to.

I sighed, happiness and freedom enveloping my soul. I switched off the water and stepped from the shower, smiling at my new tan lines in the fogged mirror. But then my eyes found the long, thin scar that ran between my breasts, and I knew some pasts could not be erased, deal or not.

I touched it, running my hand down the mark that was roughly five inches long. I had never let Raef see its full length, hiding it under carefully selected tops, including my
rashguard from today. To me, it was a symbol of survival. For Raef, however, it could be a symbol of my death. So I hid it, as best I could. Ana knew how long it was, having seen me change, but not Raef.

I wrapped the towel around me and walked across the hall to Raef’s room, where all my things had been placed into various drawers. He had given me his room to use for our trip and I loved the idea, though last night he chose to stay up with Kian. I had hoped that he would join me in his room, but he seemed torn on what to do. Rather than push the issue last night, I just told him I was tired and crawled into his bed alone.

Tonight, however, I wanted him with me, so we could reminisce about the day, plan for the next, and he could kiss me until I was light-headed. Ana had left me a silk nightgown, but the low neckline would have shown off my scar. Instead, I chose to wear one of Raef’s shirts. I had done the same thing the first night I slept over on Cerberus.

The night before I died.

I carefully selected one of his beautiful shirts, a smoky blue, and buttoned it right up to my neck. It wasn’t very comfortable that way, but it covered the scar completely. The ends of the shirt hung low on my thighs, and I grabbed Raef’s robe from his closet, slinging it on. I headed for the door, intending to join my friends on the top deck if they were still up, but the door swung carefully open and Raef came in.

His hair was damp, and he wore a pair of cotton pants and nothing else. He looked so casual, so relaxed and human. “Hey. Are you heading upstairs?” he asked.

“I, uh, was going to come looking for you, but here ya are.”

He reached out and tugged at the robe, “I see you are still drowning in my clothes. Didn’t like what Ana
left you again?”

“Well, I just,
kinda like your shirts better. They smell like you,” I said, my cheeks flushing. Raef stood there, unable to move for a moment.  He finally managed to speak, “Do you still want to go upstairs? Everyone is asleep. Well, except Kian. He is on the top deck reading.”

“He reads?” I asked and Raef tried to not smile.

“If you can believe it, he likes Tolstoy and Shakespeare,” he replied, pulling me closer. “My heart is true as steel,” he whispered, quoting Shakespeare, and my body began to heat.

“I’ve never doubted it,” I replied, the butterflies literally forming a mosh pit in my belly. I stepped back from Raef and he watched me as I dropped my robe and climbed into bed, tucking my feet under me. He hesitated at the door, his hand going to the knob to leave, but I spoke up. “Come and talk to me. Tell me where we are going tomorrow and what excitement there will be.”

He gave a quirked grin, “You want me to run down your itinerary, Ma’am?” I gave a silly nod, though I was trying to control the rush of nerves that were flowing through my body. He wouldn’t cross a line, I knew, but I was nervous because the line didn’t seem to exist for me anymore. Raef’s hand moved to the lock on the door, and he turned it with a click.

The butterflies rushed the stage
, and I twisted my hands together as Raef came over to the bed and climbed in next to me. He pulled me down to rest on his bare chest and began talking about our next stop. He told me about the little open air shops, the steel drum music, and the endless stretch of white sand beaches. As he spoke he ran his fingers gently up and down my spine and I listened to the deep thrum of his voice through his chest.

I traced the angles of his body as he talked
, and soon the butterflies had left, replaced by an unshakable sense of safety that I felt in his arms. His hand spread flat against my back and he moved his head to look down at me.

“You feel hot, Eila,” he said, his face a little concerned.

I raised myself up off his chest slightly, and tossed my hair over my shoulder in mock sexiness, “Yeah – that’s what all the soul thieves say.”

He smiled, “I’m not arguing with that, but I mean you physically feel like you are really warm. You sure you don’t want to change into something lighter?
Boxers and a tank top or something? We are in the Caribbean after all.”

The amusement fell from my face as I fingered the top button of the shirt. “I, uh, I’m okay,” I replied.

Raef, however, was no fool. He slowly sat up with me in his lap, drawing his hand away from my back and reaching for the top button of the shirt. I tensed.

“It’s okay
, Eila,” he whispered. “You don’t have to hide it from me.” He didn’t move to unbutton the shirt, however, waiting for me to make the first move.

I slowly unbuttoned the top button, my hands shaking slightly. I knew he had gotten small glimpses of the very top of the scar when a shirt would shift, but I had no idea if he knew how long it was. I knew that he had ridden in the helicopter with me when I was airlifted from the Breakers, but I had no clue what he had seen while I was unconscious, my body drifting between life and death.

I continued unbuttoning my shirt until it left a gap that revealed the first inch of the scar, but nothing else. Raef slid his hand around my shoulder and softly touched the very top of the scar and his jaw was tight.

“It’s not that bad,” I whispered. “It’s not even that long.”

“I know how long it is,” he replied quietly.

“How?” I breathed. I had been so careful never to let it show.

He brought his hand to my cheek, but his face looked pained. “I saw it in the helicopter. The paramedics were trying to cut the dress off you, but the beading was getting in the way. They needed access to your skin to shock your heart back into rhythm. I . . . I tore the dress off of you.”

I swallowed, remembering what my beautiful dress looked like in the FBI’s box, ripped and stained. It was destroye
d because my guard, my love, had been desperate to save my life that fateful night. 

I could almost hear the delicate beads rain down on the steel floor of the helicopter as Raef tried to bring me back from the dead. I tried to not think about what I looked like in that helicopter, but my imagination painted a ghastly scene.

He looked into my face and brushed my hair back from my cheek, “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you sooner.”

“Why didn’t you?” I asked quietly, my fingers trailing over the edged lines of his chest.

“When I was in the moment, nothing registered in my head but saving you. I meant to tell you, a million times, but you were so timid with how I touched you – modest even. And then Teddy was trying to apologize, and there was that line that I was trying not to cross, and Rillin appeared, and I just . . . I couldn’t tell you.”

I grabbed onto his wrists and gave him a firm squeeze to get his full attention. “Raef. It’s okay. You helped save my life. And yeah, I am kind of embarrassed, but on the other hand, it was you.”

I looked at his beautiful face and was stunned to see a slow tear run from the corner of his eye. “I can’t lose you,” he breathed. “Promise me you will live, that you will beat the odds.” His desperation seemed all-consuming, and my heart broke for him.

Something potent and beautiful shifted in the air around us, and I leaned my body into his and began kissing him, holding his face in my hands. He cautiously ran his hands up my thighs and under the back of my shirt, and the Fallen marks scrolled over his face, the blackest I had ever seen.

I let the world fall away from me, and all my worries and fears scattered off, like a dandelion in the summer wind. I simply felt him touch me, and how the sounds of our breathing drifted through the darkened room, softly lit by the glow of my kill mark.

I ran my fingers through his hair to his neck and shoulders, and his kisses carefully trailed from my lips to my neck and he eased the shirt off one of my shoulders, kissing the line of my collarbone. Heat bloomed inside me, and I found myself undoing the remaining buttons. Raef, realizing what I was doing, broke from kissing me, and pulled me against his chest, shielding my now naked torso from the room.

The Fallen language was written beautifully over his entire body and he drew a trembling breath as he rested his forehead against mine. “Wait . . .” he breathed. “Just wait. I don’t want you to do something because you’ve just gotten caught in the moment. I need to know that you are thinking this through. Not long ago you had a line. What happened to that line?”

I couldn’t form words to answer him, so I moved to kiss him again, but I was shaking ever so slightly from the nerves jumping around in my body.
 

He placed a hand to my lips, stopping me. “I can feel you trembling, E. This needs to be right for you. I would wait forever for you. Be sure this is what you want. I’d never forgive myself if you regret this because you were not ready.”

I looked at Raef and knew, without doubt, I would only want to experience this moment with him. Yes, I was nervous, but they were good nerves. And I had the basics down, thanks to health class, friends, and even Mae, though that conversation was about as mortifying as possible. I was ready, not because of desire or my age. I was ready because of Raef.

He had never seen me as a
washashore who lived on the fringes of life. Instead he understood who I was before I even fully understood. He knew me before I knew myself. I loved him, I trusted him, and I knew he would be careful. Gentle and protective as he always was with me.

“I’m sure,” I whispered as I began slowly kissing his broad shoulder and his powerful arms wrapped around me, tugging at my hair. He spoke softly in my ear, telling me that we could stop at any time. That it would be okay. I nodded and my nerves climbed higher as the liquid fire in my veins flowed into my tummy.

His hands traveled to my face, and his dark eyes looked into mine, “Promise me you will tell me to stop if you need to. Promise me.”

“I will,” I replied quietly. But then I leaned forward to his ear, my nerves so intense that I could power a roller coaster.

“Go slow,” I breathed.

His arms banded around me, holding me tightly and his voice broke as he whispered back, “I promise.”