Stowaway (31 page)

“Vacation fling?”

His tone went low and angry. Keri didn’t know if she’d hurt him with her careless words, but she’d definitely pissed him off. He glared at her for a long time.

When she didn’t flinch or rescind the insult, he turned his back and reached for his gun. In slow, controlled motions, he slid the clip in place, tucked the gun into his waistband and reached for his jacket. She held her breath until he turned to her again.

With a blank expression and bland tone, he said, “Get some rest. I’ll catch a ride to Knoxville and go home.”

He started around the bed and pinned her with another tough-guy stare. “But I will be back,” his tone deepened into a growl. “By then you should be fully recovered and ready to listen to reason.”

Keri didn’t turn to watch him go. She heard him speak to someone outside the door and assumed her dad had posted a guard. When the sound of his footsteps disappeared down the corridor, tears flowed over her cheeks. She didn’t even try to swipe them off her face.

“Goodbye, my love,” she whispered. A sob caught at her throat and then another and another. She curled into a fetal position and smothered the sobs with a pillow.

He wouldn’t be back. She knew with all her heart he’d just walked out of her life forever. Gorgeous, filthy-rich, playboy-type city guys didn’t settle down with backwoods, barren, country girls. Mismatched, star-crossed lovers only found their happily ever-afters in fiction, not real life. And it hurt so much.

Keri had to believe the hurting would stop in time. Nick had helped her heal the emotional wounds caused by her mother’s death. Who’d help her heal all the new scars on her heart? Maybe she just cared too much, loved too deeply. Maybe she needed a whole new attitude about relationships.

Chapter Twenty

Keri finished her second week of vacation helping the hospital and the sheriff’s department tie up all the loose ends of the failed terrorist attack. For the most part, she dodged the national media that swooped into their small community. Friends, family and coworkers diligently protected her from probing questions and hurtful reminders of the frightening events.

Nick called her repeatedly, both on her cell and at home. She let his calls go to voice mail. At first, he quietly explained what was happening in Miami, how he spent his days and that he badly wanted to talk to her. She didn’t respond, but she listened to the messages over and over again. The sound of his voice was all that kept her from losing her mind at the thought of never seeing him again.

She went back to work and took on extra shifts to avoid dwelling on their relationship. Over the next two weeks, Nick’s calls grew shorter, his tone increasingly frustrated when she failed to reply. Keri wondered how long he’d put up with her attitude before giving up on her altogether. She felt it best to alienate him, yet the soul-deep longing for him didn’t ease.

On a Saturday evening three weeks after he’d left, Nick called her again. Alone in her bedroom and feeling miserable, she picked up her cell just before it rolled into voice mail.

“Hello, Nick.” She greeted him quietly, sat down on her bed and pulled a pillow against her chest. It didn’t fill the emptiness inside her, but she needed to cling to something.

“Keri.” Her name sounded like a benediction. Relief mingled with pleasure in his voice, melting her heart and easing the ache that settled there when he left.

“The last time you called, you threatened to stop,” she reminded. Even though she’d known it was best, the idea had nearly devastated her.

“I was tired and royally pissed that night, but I meant it at the time.”

“So why call tonight?”

He went quiet for a minute. “Ever just have a bad need to hear a voice?” he asked softly.

Keri closed her eyes and sighed. She knew the feeling all too well. For the longest time, she’d desperately wanted to hear her mother’s voice beyond her nightmares. Lately, she couldn’t think of anyone or anything but Nick.

“I have,” she told him noncommittally.

“I programmed my new cell number into your phone before I left Thornsbury,” he said. “It’s number one on your speed dial in case you haven’t noticed. You could have given me a couple of minutes of time these past few weeks.”

“I told you long-distance relationships suck.”

“Especially if only one party is trying,” he shot back.

She couldn’t dispute that. She just hadn’t realized how hard it would be to let go.

“So how are you feeling? Totally recovered from the nerve drug? Your dad said you canceled your final week of vacation and went back to work.”

“You talked to my dad?”

“He doesn’t refuse my calls.”

“He didn’t mention it.”

“No surprise there. He said you’re working too long and hard. He’s worried about you.”

“He’s always worried about me.”

“With good reason, I’m learning.”

She made a rude sound. He ignored it and continued. “No other problems from the drug? No more crazies?”

“No problems and no crazy people, thank goodness,” she replied and then added, “I heard on a network broadcast that Cooper committed suicide.”

“That’s how the coroner ruled it,” he said.

“You don’t sound convinced.”

“I’m not, but it makes a perverted kind of sense. He allegedly shot himself on the anniversary of his wife’s death. And after he’d learned of the botched attack.”

“She was killed on 9-11? At the towers?”

“Natural causes, but he still blamed her death on the attacks. That’s why he planned his own form of revenge.”

“And he killed himself on September 11?”

“It looks that way. The FBI agents found him dead when they went to pick him up for questioning.”

“For a radical racist, the thought of prison might seem worse than death.”

“Speaking of that, how’s Russ Carson doing?”

“Okay, I guess. The feds aren’t very forthcoming with information even though I’ve tried to get answers ever since I came back to work.”

“You’ve been working a lot of hours?”

“Yes.”

“It won’t help.”

“Help what?”

“Trying to bury yourself in work and bottle up all the emotion. It didn’t help you deal with your mom’s loss, did it?”

She caught her breath. “Low blow, Lamanto.”

“The truth hurts,” he snapped back at her. “The lieutenant ordered me to do a few sessions with a shrink, so I’m all up to date on the psychological babble.”

“What has the psychologist told you?”

“Not a damned, useful thing,” he grumbled. “I told him the whole terrorist, wounded-on-the-run issue is past history. My only real problem is celibacy and a reluctant lover.”

Keri smiled at his totally indignant, totally male attitude. His confession of celibacy lifted another weight from her heart. The thought of him sleeping with other women made her insane with jealousy. She’d never been the possessive type, so she had no idea how to deal with the emotion. But then, she’d never loved anyone as much as she loved Nick.

“What are you thinking? I can hear your thoughts spinning across the miles.”

“You’re altogether too full of yourself, Lamanto.”

“Just another reason we’re perfect together,” he argued. “I have too much and you need more.”

His reasoning made her smile again. He had an abundance of confidence. She had too much insecurity. Did that make them right for each other? Or did it guarantee failure? She couldn’t risk choosing the wrong path.

“Did the shrink tell you that?”

His tone went flat. “The shrink told me to get laid.”

Keri laughed out loud at his uncharacteristic crudity. She tossed the pillow aside and wrapped her free arm around her knees. “I’ve heard celibacy makes men surly. Your shrink might have a point.”

“It’s the only thing he’s said that makes real sense,” Nick claimed. “So what are we going to do about it?”

“We?”

“Have you slept with anyone since I left?”

“Of course not.”

“Then why do you think I’d sleep with anyone but you? Like it or not, Merritt, we’re in a committed relationship. I honor my commitments. Are you saying you don’t?”

Trick question. Keri didn’t respond. She wouldn’t demean what they’d shared. She’d committed herself heart and soul, but weeks of trying to find an answer to their other issues had left her feeling hopeless.

“There’s a big difference between emotional commitment and long-term practicalities.”

“Talking is practical and a good start.”

“Talk’s cheap,” she teased softly.

His tone dropped an octave, to a low, sexy timbre that sent a shiver over her. “There’s always phone sex.”

Intrigued despite herself, she felt her body going all liquid and needy. How could he affect her so intensely with nothing more than a naughty suggestion?

“I doubt that’s what your shrink had in mind.”

“The hell with the shrink. All I want is you. Any way I can get you.”

The bold declaration stole her breath. Keri hugged her knees tighter to her chest as her breasts prickled with arousal. It had been too long. Way too long since she’d felt his touch.

“Have I shocked you speechless, Nurse Merritt?”

“I’ve never had phone sex, Lamanto,” she chided. “Are you an experienced phone sex guy?”

“Can’t say that I am, but I’m willing to give it a shot.”

She laughed at his candor. “Well, I’m in my bed. I guess that’s a start. Where are you?”

“My bed at the villa. Since I’ve never been in your bedroom, we’ll have to do it here.”

She rolled onto her side and kept laughing. “Do it?” Typical male. “That’s so romantic. I’m blushing with arousal.”

His tone went low and serious. “Is your hair all mussed and your cheeks flushed? Are you wearing some skimpy, silky underwear? Or nothing at all? Give me a little visual here.”

“My hair is a mess and my cheeks feel warm,” she lowered her tone to match his. “I’m wearing an old, thin T-shirt and cotton pajama bottoms.”

“Are your nipples hard?”

How could they not be, she wondered, when he said the words aloud? The sound whispered along her nerves and spread heat throughout her body.

“They are now.”

“Damn.”

The hunger in his lone word made her breath catch again and her breasts tighten. Keri had to clear her throat before she could respond. “What are you wearing?”

“Not a thing.”

“Are you hard?” she whispered huskily.

His voice roughened. “Hell yeah. Since I left you.”

She almost choked as she envisioned him naked and aroused. Her whole body throbbed with matching need. “Then I guess this is how you do phone sex.”

“The easy part,” he challenged, “but I’m a sensualist. Satisfaction comes with touching, tasting and feeling. Nothing compares to being together.”

“Long distance relationships suck.”

“So come to Miami.”

His demand hung in the air between them. He knew she didn’t want to come to Miami. She knew he didn’t want to come to Thornsbury. They lived totally separate lives. It wasn’t just a matter of distances but cultures and lifestyles.

“Square one again,” she replied quietly. “We can’t fly back and forth indefinitely. The nearest airport is a long way from Thornton. We’d spend more time traveling than being together. How long before that causes guilt, hard feelings and finger pointing? Will we end up hating each other?”

“I don’t have any easy answers.”

“I’m not looking for easy, Nick, but I can’t see any way past the major obstacles.”

“And what we have isn’t worth the effort? Is that what you’re really saying?”

The statement took her by surprise. Before she could formulate a response, he told her good night and broke the connection. She stared at the phone, heart pounding.

It had started already, just as she’d known it would. Discussing the issues keeping them apart could only lead to anger and resentment. Soon the resentment would turn to bitterness and they’d destroy the love they shared. That’s what she’d hoped to avoid by not taking his calls.

Nick’s shrink might think sex would solve the problem, but Keri knew better. As much as she wanted to prolong their relationship, it would be cruel and selfish. He hadn’t mentioned her inability to have children, but she knew it would put an additional, possibly paralyzing, strain on their relationship. She needed to be strong and resist his charm. She couldn’t bear to fall deeper in love and then lose him.

Lost in thought, Keri didn’t hear the knock on her bedroom door until the second one was accompanied by her dad’s voice.

“Keri?”

She turned to sit on the edge of her bed and told him to come in.

“What’s up?”

Walt stood in the doorway and gave her a smile. “I heard laughter from in here and wondered if you had company. It’s been a long time since I heard you laugh.”

She frowned. “Have I been such a sour puss lately?”

“You have,” he said, grinning. “So who or what made you happy this evening?”

“Nick, I talked to him on the phone.”

“He makes you happy, yet you refuse most of his calls. I didn’t think I raised such a dense daughter.”

She made a face at him. “I’m not dense, thank you very much,” she responded lightly. “You taught me to be sensible, logical and face my problems head-on.”

“But not in a cowardly fashion,” he inserted firmly. “You’re trying to solve a problem by avoiding it. Nothing gets fixed if you don’t try.”

“There’s nothing to fix!” she insisted, frowning at him in frustration. “We’re totally unfit for each other. Our worlds are light-years apart. You have no idea.”

When her dad returned her steady regard, she qualified. “You do know, don’t you?”

He nodded. “I did a background search, just like I have for every other man you’ve shown an interest in over the years,” he declared without apology. “It wasn’t easy because Lamanto protects his private life. With the help of his lieutenant, I finally learned more about his background.”

“Incredible wealth, Dad. Not just well-to-do but centuries-old wealth and influence. Totally not my thing.”

He shook his head at her reasoning. “I also learned what others think of his character and values. He’s a good man. He’s proved that more than once. The fact that you trusted him with your life was a pretty strong point in his favor too. You have good people instincts and you don’t freely offer your trust.”