Strange Animals (17 page)

James had been
on the road for a few days and had no more interactions with anyone he considered a possible angel. He was thankful that God had sent him two angels on his first day of the journey, and although he hoped the weeks ahead of him would bring him more, James was anxious not to seem selfish or ungrateful in this desire.

His drive through New Mexico was uneventful. The sand and rock formations in the landscape were filled with colors, many more than he had ever seen at home. James saw beauty and majesty in this and thanked God for making such a wonderful world.

As he drove into Arizona, James stopped to eat at a McDonald's. There, in the booth next to him, he saw a mother, father, son, and daughter eating together. It was a Sunday, and their clothing suggested that they had all just come from church. James knew it was rude to stare, but he found himself studying
the family in detail. As he did, he found his gaze coming to rest on the mother more than the father or the children. She was pretty, and James briefly wondered what it must be like to make love to her. He felt ashamed immediately, but knew that his thought had come from a place of purity and not lust. He found her attractive, but there was something about her that was righteous and pious. She was dressed nicely but modestly. Her hair was pulled back in a tight bun, and she rarely looked up from her meal. He could tell that she was the woman God meant for that man, and that's what he really found attractive. It wasn't about her flesh. It was about her spirit.

Since leaving home, James hadn't given much thought to the possibility that he would never have a wife, never have a family. It was something he had forced himself to accept as a possible part of God's plan, but when he was faced with such an example of blissful Christian marriage, it was difficult not to want it for himself. He knew this was simply a test. It was merely God making sure that James was prepared for whatever he would be called to do, no matter what he might have to sacrifice. God had to know that nothing could distract him from his task, not even the promise of something that James had wanted since he was a child. James finished eating and left the McDonald's without giving the family who sat next to him another thought. He knew God was pleased with him.

As James made his way back toward the highway, he began to wonder what God's next sign would be. He still knew only that he was to make his way to California. He had personally selected Los Angeles as the exact destination, and since he'd seen no sign to contradict the choice, he continued on that path. Nonetheless, he hoped to see a sign very soon. He wasn't thinking about his next steps out of confusion or fear, but rather out of excitement. James found that he felt happiest and most alive when he could see God working in front of him, when he could feel God's hand guiding him to his divine purpose. It was when James was think
ing about this that he received what was unmistakably God's next sign. On a telephone pole next to the freeway on-ramp James was about to take were two posters, one above the other. The top poster was for an event called the Arizona Praisefest. It read, “In Jesus's Name We Celebrate! Prayer Sessions! Bible Giveaways! Spiritual Music! All Weekend Long! Bring Your Family! Arizona Praisefest!” James noticed that this event had taken place the weekend prior but underneath that poster was another that read, “Flagstaff Gun Show This Weekend—Coconino County Fairgrounds.” James was less than an hour from Flagstaff, and he knew there was no way God would have put that poster directly under the Arizona Praisefest poster if he wasn't meant to go to that gun show.

On the drive to the gun show, James thought very specifically about what God had told him on that third day in his apartment. He tried to recall the exact words God used, but found it difficult. He knew it didn't matter. God had revealed his plan, and James was certain that he was doing what was required of him, but ever since that day he had wondered how exactly he would be asked to carry out the plan. He knew that he had to get to California, and he knew that God would eventually demand more than just his presence—that he would be called to action and he would have to be prepared. James thought that certainly the gun show had something to do with this preparation. As he pulled his car into the parking lot at the Cococino County Fairgrounds, he assumed that God had brought him there to meet another angel. He thought it was a strange place for an angel to be, but he knew not to question God. There was a reason he was at the gun show. Some new directive or piece of information regarding his journey was at that gun show, and James would find it.

People in every kind of camouflage apparel James could imagine filled both the outdoor and indoor sectors of the gun show. The sight wasn't entirely foreign to James. Many people in Kansas were avid hunters, outdoorsmen, militia members, and
recreational gun owners. It was a culture he was familiar with, and he didn't feel out of place at the Flagstaff show at all. As he meandered through the different booths he waited for some indication from God that he should approach a specific booth or person.

James passed booths that sold Nazi and Confederate memorabilia, night vision goggles, and self-published manuals with titles like
Surviving the Race War
. Then, as he started down a new aisle of booths, he saw what he knew he was meant to see, the reason he had been directed to this place. At the far end of the aisle, he saw a banner depicting Jesus reaching down through the clouds and handing a man a rifle. Under the image were the words
It's your God-given right
. The image reminded James a little of the paining that hung above Pastor Preston's desk. Beneath the banner was a booth operated by one man with various handguns in glass cases. James knew instinctively that this was the booth he needed to visit. This was the sign he had been waiting for.

As James approached the booth and started looking at some of the guns on display, the man behind the counter said, “Hey there, partner. I'm Corey. How can I hook you up today?”

There was only one God. He was very real and He was the father of Jesus Christ. Any and all other modes of belief in anything supernatural, including major religions or things like witchcraft and horoscopes, were punishable by an eternity in hell. God was loving, but he was also capable of raining down immense suffering and pain to his enemies, and he wanted his Christian followers to have the same capabilities, as they were made in his image. To this end, God invented the gun, and made it an indisputable right that any Christian American could own and carry one. Science was fine, as long as it was used to make things to destroy your enemies. It was a waste of time and resources to pursue scientific exploration of things like space and climate change. These were things over which only God could have any influence. Sex was something God ordered to only take
place between a man and his wife—not a man and his husband, a man and his wife. It was meant to be an act that produced children, and trying to tamper with God's plan by using any form of contraception, or by denying a man his God-given right to procreate through disobedience as a wife, was a sin punishable by an eternity in hell. Children, especially male children, were precious. They were the vessels by which any man could pass on his legacy, including his faith in Jesus and his collection of firearms. These were things that Corey understood to be true.

James told Corey that he didn't really know what he was looking for, but he was compelled to come to the gun show. Corey said, “Okay. Have you ever owned a gun before?”

James told Corey that he had not, and he wasn't exactly sure he was supposed to get one.

Corey said, “Well, you came to a gun show, partner. What other reason would you have to be here?”

James cursed himself for not picking up the inherent logic in God's initial sign. Why would God have sent him to a gun show if he didn't intend for him to get a gun? The road could be a dangerous place, and although God could obviously protect James in a variety of ways, he clearly wanted James to be able to protect himself. This was a lesson that God was trying to teach him. James told Corey that he was certainly open to the idea of getting a gun, but he didn't know much about them.

Corey said, “Okay. No problem. What's your primary reason for getting one today? Self-defense? Recreation?”

James explained that he wasn't really sure about that. He just knew that it was time to get a gun.

Corey said, “Well, I can't argue with you there, friend. When the good Lord says it's time, then by God, it's time, right?”

Corey slapped James on the back, and James felt at ease with him. He wondered if Corey was possibly the third angel on his trip. His last statement, about obeying God when he says it's time, made James feel that Corey was very likely that angel.
Corey said, “Well, partner, I've got all kinds of stuff here today. You want a pistol? A revolver? A rifle? A shotgun? AR-15?”

James explained that he thought a pistol would be best suited for him personally. Corey said, “All right, I hear you. So what kind of price range are we talking here?”

James told Corey that he didn't have a lot of money, but the thing that drew him to that specific booth was the image of Jesus Christ providing for one of his children. At this Corey said, “Hallelujah, brother. Now you know I can't just give anything away, but I can damn sure help out a fellow Christian. I mean, that's what God put us on this earth to do, right? Help out other Christians and tell everyone else to go to hell.” Corey laughed and slapped James on the back again. James laughed, too. He couldn't help but like Corey, and it was easy to imagine him as a kind of rambunctious, rough-around-the-edges angel, up in heaven making the other angels laugh just as he was doing here on Earth.

Corey took a gun out of the case and handed it to James. It was the first time James had ever held a gun. It was heavier than he expected. It felt solid. Corey said, “That there, my friend, is the Glock 17. Most popular gun in the great country of the United States of America. Police use it. Military use it. Families use it. Sportsmen use it. Unfortunately, criminals use it, too. It's got a decent weight, it's dependable, and it's really just an all-around solid weapon.”

James asked Corey how much the gun cost. Corey said, “I usually let that one go for five, but you're a Christian, and I can tell you're not bullshitting me about that, so I'm not gonna bullshit you about this. I can let you have that weapon right now for four fifty, and that's a special Christian discount.”

James explained that he was on a very tight budget and he wouldn't be able to afford anything that costly. He asked Corey if he possibly had any cheaper guns. Corey said, “I do, but I'm telling you, that's the weapon you want. That's the weapon Jesus
wants you to have. The cheaper weapons are mostly used, and they're a little tricky sometimes. I just wouldn't feel right sending you off with one of them. You know, it's your first weapon. I want to know that I'm sending you off with a good weapon you can depend on, that doesn't take a lot of know-how to operate.”

James agreed with Corey that he needed a gun that was simple to use, but maintained that he honestly couldn't afford to purchase a gun for four hundred and fifty dollars. Corey asked, “Well, what's your price range exactly?”

James knew he needed to save as much as possible for the rest of his trip, not knowing how long he'd be in Los Angeles or if he'd need to find a job once he got there. He also wanted to be honest with Corey. So he told Corey that he was comfortable spending around three hundred dollars. Corey said, “You're driving a hard bargain, and I know times are tough with money because of the current Muslim administration and the libtards ruining congress. So here's what I can do for you. I say four fifty, you say three hundred. What do you say we meet in the middle? Three seventy-five?”

This was a stretch for James, but Corey had treated him fairly in the negotiations, and James knew that this could be a test from God. Not accepting the offer might be a failure of the test, so James agreed. Corey said, “Great. Just great. I'm so happy to be able to give you your first weapon. I think you'll really enjoy it. Now, I just need your ID to get things started.”

James handed him his driver's license and Corey said, “Oh, out of state. That's a tiny setback. I know this is probably a serious pain in the old backside, but we have certain gun laws that require a waiting period and a rudimentary background check to make sure you're not a felon. You're not, right?”

James indicated that he was not.

Corey said, “Okay, good. Usually at shows we can get around those things, but lately some of those libtards I was talking about earlier have really screwed things up for regular folks like me
who sell firearms, especially where out-of-state weapon purchases are concerned. They've got their panties in a bunch over it, because some guy somewhere bought a gun in a different state from where he lived and then he shot up a 7-Eleven or something. I don't know. Some bullshit. Anyway, we're trying to watch our p's and q's for the time being, so we're doing the background checks on out-of-staters and blah, blah, blah. I have to tell you legally that it can take up to seven days, but honestly we get people processed in two, max. I know you're a good guy, but that ain't good enough for those pansies in Washington. And any dealer at this show will tell you the same. So I completely understand if you want to walk, but I'm telling you, you're not gonna get a better deal on a weapon like this at any other booth here, or at any gun shop in the country, and that's my hand to God.”

James told Corey that he understood there were things that were beyond his control, and he appreciated the discount, so he'd be glad to wait a few days. With that, Corey handed him some paperwork to fill out and said, “Now, I just need a ten percent down payment to hold the weapon for you, and then you can either pick it up back here on the last day of the show, or I can have it waiting for you at my store, which is honestly a lot more convenient. Parking here, I'm sure you dealt with it, is a devil's dingle sometimes.”