Strange in Skin (20 page)

My heart was aching with the sudden realization that if they were treating me like this, how worse it
would be for him. They actually
liked
me. I closed my eyes tight saying a prayer under my breath,
praying with all my might that they wouldn’t hurt my beautiful Emry Logan. Surely they couldn’t touch
him.
Yeah, right
, I thought to myself. Prisons get away with more than they should every day, and
something fueled their strong hatred of Emry. It was a bone-chilling kind of hatred that came on strong
at the mere mention of his name. I had seen that hatred in Buck’s eyes, and every ounce of me longed
to save Emry. But I couldn’t. He had been right. We were both trapped, caged in like animals, and the
only hope we had was knowing that we belonged to each other, and that someday that would be
powerful enough to break through all of this unjust agony. Our connection was magical. There was no
turning back now. I had to face whatever was in front of me and get past whoever dared to try to stop
my being with Emry. I thought about the realization of loving him just then, a pleasant thought, but also
one of cruel torment. An unjust kind of love.

I heard voices speaking and the heavy door made an eerie, creaking sound as it came open just a
crack at first.

 

“What’s going on? They called and said there was an emergency but told me nothing.”

I recognized the voice immediately. It was my father. I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand
and tried to smooth out my hair a little. I knew I looked a wreck, but I could do no more. I had run out
of time. My time to mope had come to an end. It was now time to face whatever doom was lurking in
the future as I could feel it headed straight toward me.

“Just take a look, sir,” another officer said.

I looked at the door to see my father enter and then his eyes widen in disbelief as he saw that I was
the one sitting in the dark room. I could only imagine what was going through his mind just then. I
tried not to think about it but pushed my shoulders back and sat straight up as I had in the presence of
Buck.

“What are
you
doing here?” he asked, still surprised and confused.

Remember how you despise this man
, I reminded myself. Picture him with Mrs. Anderson, dig up
the memory of those emotions and don’t let him intimidate you.
Another officer, who I didn’t recognize, entered the room behind him. “We found her in the
courtyard kissing one of the inmates, sir.”
“What?” My father’s eyes never left mine. I didn’t dare look down or reveal any signs of weakness.
“Who?”
The officer hesitated a moment.

Then my father turned to look at him. “Which one?” he asked again, his voice rising.
“Emry Logan.”

That had done it. Just the mention of his name made my father’s anger spring to life. His eyes were
fierce and almost had a fire about them. They were very similar to how Buck’s had appeared.
He walked over to me and wrapped his hand around my forearm. His grip dug into my skin. He
pulled me to my feet.

 

“Is this true?” he screamed in my face.

I wanted to shrivel up and melt into the floor, but I held firm to my ground and stared back, never
giving him the satisfaction of hesitating. “Yes.” I was surprised at how calm my voice sounded when
the word finally came out.

My father released his grasp on my arm and glared at the other officer. “How did this happen?” He
turned back to me. “Why are you dressed like that?”

 

“She was wearing this wig.” The other policeman tossed it down onto the table. “Nobody
recognized her. She claimed to be Emry Logan’s attorney.”

“What? This is ridiculous. Where’s Buck?” he demanded.
“I don’t know.”
“Well, go find him!”

I had never heard my father speak to anyone that way. It was like he had some sort of control over
these policemen, like they answered to him. It was strange to see him like this as if he were some sort
of war lord. He turned to stare at me again. He didn’t recognize me, and I didn’t recognize him. We
were on equal footing with one another.

“Anna, why would you do such a thing? How do you even know Emry Logan?”
Buck must have not been too far away as he entered the room with the officer who had gone to
retrieve him. He hiked his pants up in an arrogant manner as he approached me.

“She first met him when she came down here to the jail,” Buck explained for me.
My father gave him a confused look as if he had no clue what he was talking about.
“The day she passed out
your
pamphlets to all of the prisoners.”
My father covered his gaping mouth with his hand as if it had all came back to him now.

“Don’t forget to tell him about the part where you accidentally slipped and told Emry who I was,” I
belted out boldly.

Buck cringed. “You may as well take a seat, Anna.” He gestured toward the chair.
“I’m fine standing, thanks.”
He shrugged as if not really caring. “You could be here awhile.”
“This is so stupid!” I cried out. “Let me out of here!”
My father and Buck met glances. What kinds of thoughts were they exchanging?
“Do you have any idea of what laws you’ve broken here?” my father yelled out at me. “Do you

understand what kind of mess you’re in?”
“Maybe she does know what laws she’s broken. She’s an attorney, after all.” Buck grinned at me.
“You’re in trouble here as well,” my father snapped at him.
“Me?” Buck smirked. “I have no blame here. You’re the one who can’t control your family.”

“How did she get in here and fool everyone? Anna, you’ve always been so … honest. What has
gotten into you? I just don’t understand how any of this has happened. Emry Logan? Of all people,” he
mumbled.

I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to explain or what. He seemed to be talking at me and yet about me
to Buck all at the same time. I decided I wouldn’t give him any information anyway. He was the
enemy.

“Sit down, Anna,” my father commanded.
I ignored him.
“Sit down!” he roared angrily.
I decided not to push it and sat down in the chair as everyone else hovered above me.

My father knew he had lost his temper and tried to take deep breaths in order to compose himself.
“Just … sit,” he said, although I already was, but repeating it as if he hadn’t meant to be so out of
control the first time. “Let’s just talk this thing through, shall we?” He looked toward Buck. “A few
more chairs, please?”

Within minutes Buck was dragging in two more chairs. I eyed them cautiously as they sat directly
across from me. My father put his elbows on the table and crossed his hands in front of him. “I need to
know everything, Anna. This is very important.”

“Why is it so important?” I asked, maybe a little too quickly.

 

“You have no right to question
us
,” Buck snapped at me. “Just sit there and answer the questions as
they come to you.”

 

I glared at him but pressed my lips together. They weren’t going to give away any information. It
would be a waste of breath to continue to try to press them.

 

“What do you want to know?” I asked, my voice a little less harsh and a little more on the quieter
side, a little more like the old Anna.

A sigh escaped from my father’s mouth. He tapped his finger lightly on the table now and closed his
eyes for a moment to gather his thoughts. “What contact did you have with Emry Logan after that first
day when you handed him the brochure?”

My mind was spinning. Should I tell them about the letters? Of course not. What kind of traitor
would I be then? The next question would be where are the letters, and then they would go take them
away from me. What if they were all I had left for now to physically hold onto? I couldn’t bear the
thought of them ripping up those cherished pieces of paper. No, I wouldn’t tell them anything. But they
weren’t going to stand for me saying nothing.
Think. Think!
I screamed at myself. Send them on a wild
goose chase. But how? What could I say without getting him into even more trouble?

“I’ve made it a habit to come down and visit inmates like this,” I told them. “This is just the first
time you’ve caught me.”
My father pushed the table away from him as he jumped to his feet in rage. His chair tipped over on
the floor with a loud slam behind him as he did so, and the edge of the table hit my ribs. I gasped as
the sudden pain took the breath away from me for a few seconds.

“I’m not going to sit here and try to figure this out if you’re going to act like this!” my father yelled,
his arms flailing about as he did so. “You’re an ungrateful, spoiled child! You’ve been handed
everything! Everything! This is how you treat
me
? You disrespect me and our entire family in this
way!”

“I won’t tell you anything!” I screamed back, feeling that familiar hate for him suddenly from deep
within as all of the powerful emotions I had felt toward him from that day seeing him on Mrs.
Anderson’s porch exploded within me as they surfaced. “You’ve given me nothing but lies, so that’s
all you deserve in return!”

“What are you talking about? She’s out of her mind!”

 

“No!” I shouted. “For the first time in my life I can see clearly, and I see you clearly for the
blasphemous hypocrite that you really are!”

His eyes shifted to Buck who lowered his head, knowing it was coming.
“Don’t look away, you coward!” I shouted at Buck. “You were there. You saw what I saw!”
“What did you see?” my father asked. “Buck?”

Buck stood too, and began pacing back and forth in the room. “Anna, I told you you’re wrong about
this.”

“Now secrets are being withheld from
me
?” My father had a wild look about his eyes. I didn’t trust
it because I didn’t recognize it. Who was this man? The same one I thought I had known my whole
life?

“And the fact that you can stand there and blame me for disgracing the family? Take a look in the
mirror. How can you do this to your mother, to all of us?”
“Are you in love with him?” Buck yelled at me, attempting to start another conversation. Was it a
diversion or because it was really on his mind, I couldn’t tell.
My father looked uneasy, yet still fierce with anger at both of us. “What is she talking about? What
have I done to our family? I’ve done nothing but try to protect this family along with its reputation
which you are squashing by coming in here and looking like … a whore!”

I gasped at what he had just called me. “I’m a whore?”
“Anna, tell me if you’re in love with him!” Buck stepped in between us.
“I’d rather be a whore than an adulterer!” I screamed at him.

My father’s face twisted. He was shocked, that much was obvious. And now he would know that
Buck was in on it, too. We knew his secret, and I was willing to expose it now for all that it was
worth to get him out of my life, our lives.

“Anna! Stop it!” Buck grabbed my shoulders and began to shake me violently, my limbs tossed
carelessly like a rag doll. “Do you love him? Do you? Tell me if you do!” I watched his hand draw
back then as he got ready to hit me, but before he was able to, my father grabbed his arm and jerked
him around.

“What’s the matter with you?” my father scolded him. “This is turning you into a monster.”
Buck’s chest was heaving up and down with his fury. “Take a look in the mirror, old man,” he
hissed back and turned to give me one final glare.

“You need to leave,” my father told him.
“I’m already on my way out.” And with those words, Buck was gone.

I ran my fingers down through my hair, certain I was now more disheveled than before. I couldn’t
believe that Buck had just been about to hit me. What was the reasoning behind it? It just didn’t make
any sense. It’s not like he had been in love with me? Right? No, he hadn’t tried to call me for weeks.
There was no way this could be out of jealousy. There had to be more.

I sat down in the chair and folded my hands in front of me on my lap. I noticed a run in my panty
hose scurrying all the way up my thigh, a small line of whiter skin exposed. I blinked at it for a few
moments, my mind going completely blank. Emry was right. This whole situation was becoming
dangerous. I had never been around any type of violence in my life, and I had almost just gotten
backhanded by a man. I rubbed my face where I assumed the blow would have taken place, grateful
that it hadn’t, but even though my father had saved me from Buck’s wrath, it still didn’t change the
way I felt about him who oddly sat positioned in the same fashion across from me, his face blank, his
eyes lowered to the table. He looked exhausted.

After a few minutes of silence, my father finally spoke. “This is going to rip us apart.”
“We were already there.”
“Anna, you think you know everything about everything, but you really have no idea.”

I looked up at him. He seemed slightly calmer but still not willing to render any sort of explanation
for what was going on or what he meant.

 

“You think I’m still a child, blinded and naïve, but you’re wrong. I think I deserve a little more
credit. I know more than you think I do,” I replied.

“Do you?” My father sighed and ran his thumb and pointer finger over his grayish-white beard. I
was frustrating him. He had taken a blow to his self-esteem and knew he couldn’t make up for it.
“This is not going any further. I want you to know this so you can handle it in a mature fashion and not
overact or try anything irrational.”

I frowned and narrowed my eyes at him. “What’s not going any further?”

 

“Whatever is going on between you and Logan Emry. He’s a murderer, and I can only imagine the
string of lies he’s told you to get near to you.”

 

“He hasn’t done anything wrong,” I snapped.

My father pressed his lips together at my reaction. He should have known better than to think I
would just give up because he simply told me I had to. “He’s a terrible man, Anna, and I am telling
you the truth because I love you, and I don’t want to see you go down this path of destruction with
him, only to get hurt along the way, or killed.”

“You honestly think I’m going to sit here and believe that Emry Logan is capable of killing me? Do
you think I’m that stupid, father? You’re the one here who is a liar.”