Strange Robby (32 page)

"It would have to be the latter, dirt bag. Because obviously I, a trice decorated law officer of this city, would not be in cahoots with a cold blooded killer," Spider said. She made her face a mask of calm. "What I'd really like to know is why you stupid trench coat wearing fucks are so goddamned sure that I know something. So sure, in fact, that you would bug my car, my home, interrogate my father, follow me, and threaten my old lady. There is certainly no evidence that points to me knowing one goddamned thing more about this case than you or anyone else. So there has got to be some reason, something the rest of us don't know, that makes you so damned sure that I know something. And you know what? I'd give almost any amount of money in the world to know what that is."

"Quit fucking with me, Webb," Kirk hissed. "You had better quit fucking with us, or . . . "

Spider stood toe to toe with him. "Or what . . . I'll tell you what. You had better not fuck with me. You had by God better not fuck with me, because you bastards may kill me and everyone else, but before I go, I'm going to make damn sure that I take you with me."

She walked away to join Tommy in looking at some piece of dirt he'd found.

Kirk walked over quickly and got in the car. Jason into the car beside him. He made a face and opened the window.

"Goddamn it, Kirk!"

"Shut up! You shut up right now! I've had just about all I'm going to take out of you!" Kirk screamed.

"Nothing came out of me, Kirk." He waved his hand in front of his nose. "Christ on a crutch, Kirk! What did you eat?"

"That fucking bitch is going to pay. I swear, I'm going to wipe that smug look off her face, if it's the last thing I do," Kirk hissed.

"While you're at it, you can wipe your ass, too."

Apparently no one thought Sammy Two Toes death was a simple case of serendipity. The FBI talked to her, the captain called her on the carpet.. Fortunately she had an airtight alibi; she had been in bed with the DA. Their house security system recorded people exciting and entering their house by time and code, and no one had entered or left the house after nine o'clock. Neither Carrie nor Spider's codes had left the house for sure.

Spider guessed it was his turn to ask.

"I'm sorry I have to ask you these questions," the lieutenant said. "I know everyone and his brother has already asked them, but . . . "

"No, I don't know who the Fry Guy is. No, I did not have anything to do with Sammy Two Toes murder. Yes, I am glad he's dead. Last night I was in bed with Carrie all night. I most certainly do not possess a weapon that will do anything like this. As I have said, you can search my house any time you want."

"Well, that basically covers everything I wanted to ask. Except . . . I know we never really liked each other, but why are you giving me such shit lately?"

She started to scream at him that it was because he was a narrow minded little bigot, but then she felt the genuine confusion coming from him. "Because you never liked me, but as soon as you found out for sure that I was gay, that was all the reason you needed to hate me. You treated me with no respect, and I demand respect. I deserve it. But then you dared to question Carrie's integrity, and that's what really burnt it. I thought I made that pretty damn clear when it happened."

He nodded. "I didn't hate you. I hated that you were gay. I've always been very uncomfortable with the whole thing. When you partnered up with DA Long . . . Well, I'd never really liked you from the get go because I figured you were queer, and because you're a fucking cowboy. I figured you were going to rub the gay thing in my face and I . . . Well, I jumped to some pretty despicable conclusions, and I acted like a complete jerk. I've been going to the department shrink and he's helped me to see that my homophobia is just a manifestation of my insecurities as a man. I'm sorry that I reacted in the way that I did, and I would like for us to call a truce." He held out his hand.

Well, he was full of shit, but at least he was sincerely full of shit. She shook his hand.

Tommy bounced off the side wall. He held up his hands and gasped for breath. "Enough," he said. "We have practiced enough for tonight."

Spider looked at the clock on the wall. He was right. It was almost ten o'clock. She nodded, took a few deep breaths and realized that her ribs were tender where Tommy had kicked her.

"Remember, your kicks are fine, but your hands are your best weapon. No one expects that kind of impact from a hand."

Spider nodded, grabbed up her Gatorade and took a long drink. Then she looked at Tommy.

Tommy caught her stare and held it. Something was obviously on her mind. "What?"

She walked over to her bag and pulled out a CD case. She handed it to him. It was sealed with scotch tape. "Here."

"I don't really like Metallica"

"It ain't a freaking music CD, numb nuts." She took a deep breath and let it out. "The dead FBI guy?"

"Harry Sullivan."

"Yea . . . he sent me some stuff. I didn't understand half of it. Funny if you think about it, they killed him for sending it to me and most of it meant nothing to me. What he sent me plus everything that I know or even suspect about what is going on is on that CD."

Tommy started to open it, and she slapped his hand.

"Don't open it. Leave the case taped closed. I couldn't give it to Carrie, because I know she would look at it. I'm trusting that you won't. To take away some of the temptation to look at it, the name of the Fry Guy is
not
on that CD. This is about what our government has been doing behind our backs." She looked at him again. "Take it and give it to someone that you trust. Preferably someone who lives out of state. Tell them not to take the tape off. Have them rent a safety deposit box and put it in there. Do not use the phone or the mail to make this transaction. If anything happens to me, I want you to get in touch with that person and tell them to take the disk to a computer—any computer with internet access—and slam this information onto the world wide web. If this goes down, the only way to save your asses will be to expose the bastards. A secret is only worth protecting if no one knows it."

"Why don't we expose them now?" Tommy asked.

"Because if we expose them, we expose me and a whole lot of other people to a brand of persecution the likes of which the world has never seen before," Spider said. "Having that disk puts your life in danger. If they find out that you have it, they'll kill you. But if you don't have it . . . It's kind of a catch twenty-two."

"I understand." Tommy paused. "Spider, how did you get into all this? It can't be because of the Fry Guy. Hell, I was covering for him as much as you were. Hell, in the beginning I was covering for him more. If you look guilty then so must I. I just don't get it, was it something that happened in the service?"

Spider shook her head no. "I didn't chose to get into anything. I didn't have any choice. I thought I did, but I didn't." She paused and looked into her drink bottle. "I knew . . . I always knew that there were an awful lot of unanswered questions about my life, about me. Simple things like . . . look how fair I am. I don't tan, but I don't burn. How many times have we been fishing, Tommy? How many times did you go home with a sunburn? Didn't you think it was funny that I—who am a damn sight lighter than you—never got so much as pink?" She didn't give him time to answer. "I obviously didn't want answers, because I never pursued any. Now all those questions are being answered, and I realize I was right not to ask the questions in the first place. But now it's too damn late. Comes a time in every venture where you've met the point of no return. Remember we talked about that once?"

Tommy nodded.

"Well, I was way past that point before I even had a clue what was going on."

Spider couldn't sleep, so she stared at the ceiling. Carrie lay curled around her sound asleep. Even Spider gently caressing Carrie's shoulder didn't cause her to stir.

Spider wished things could stay like this. But she had to look at reality. These So-what-if-guys were not going to go away until they got what they wanted. Then, if they let her live, which was doubtful, they were still not going to really leave her alone.

She hoped she was right about Carrie being safe. Hoped she was right about Tommy being able to protect himself and Laura. She hoped there would be a time when they would be sitting around drinking some beers and talking about the whole thing as if it were no big deal.

She'd pray, but she'd tried that before. If God was there, He wasn't listening to her.

She was worried about Robby, about all his brothers and his sisters and his ageing grandmother. They needed him around, but he wouldn't be around if the So-what-if guys found him.

She worried about Henry. Who was going to take care of him if she was gone? Who'd go visit him . . .

She was aware of being asleep, which was in itself a weird beginning to a dream. She was asleep, and she was watching herself and Carrie sleep. Then she was flying out of the house over the rooftops of the city. She made out the park and the hospital where Henry was. Henry was sitting on the hospital roof; he waved at her. She flew over and sat down beside him.

"Henry, man . . . I didn't know you could get out of there!" she said excitedly.

"Well, I'm not staying in
there
all day. It's fucking duller than shit. This is pretty cool, though. I kind of float around the city at night and look in on people. Saw a couple having sado-masochistic sex the other night, that was entertaining."

"You're a voyeur!" Spider laughed.

"Hey! When you can't do, you watch. Do you think it's wrong?"

"Nah! I think it's a victimless crime as long as the person doesn't know they're being watched," Spider answered. "Carrie disagrees, but what the hell does she know? Henry . . . Why did you try to save Scott?"

"You've asked me that a thousand times. It took you long enough to get up here so I could answer. I don't really know why; I didn't know him. I can tell you this, though, I don't know if I would have been as heroic if I had known one of those assholes had a gun. I saw three guys beating up one guy and I figured I was closing the odds. I always did have the shittiest luck. I was engaged once. Caught my fiancée having sex with my retarded cousin, Brian. I got dysentery the night of my senior prom. It kind of makes sense that I'd run in to help a guy in a simple fist-a-cuff and get myself shot. Then here I sit—or lay, rather for . . . how many years?"

"Sixteen," Spider said.

"Wow that's a bitch. If I'd had to lay in that fucking bed all that time I'd be nuts, and if you didn't come to visit me every day I'd be nuts anyway. Of course, talk about dull! Until this last year you had less of a life than I did."

"Henry . . . You know, lots of times I felt like you were the only one I could really talk to . . . "

"Which is really pathetic considering that I couldn't talk back."

"I've tried to do what's best for you, but I'm admitting it now, I don't really know what the hell that is. Are you happy like this, or would you rather be dead?"

He seemed to think about that for a minute. "Well, floating around watching other people was kind of like the ultimate TV. I can even go to other countries and other worlds. It was a real trip for about the first ten years, but after awhile . . . Well, watching isn't doing. I can't feel anything, touch anyone, and vicarious pleasure can only get you so far. I run into someone else floating around up here every once in awhile, and I've had some really great conversations, but we're mostly in agreement. We're ready to go on."

"Go on where?" Spider asked.

Henry shrugged. "Who knows? I just know there's something, and I'm ready to go now if you can let me go."

Spider looked at him. "I know it's stupid, but by keeping you alive it was like I was keeping Scott alive. He was the only one who ever really cared about me."

"It is stupid, and now there are people who care as much about you as Scott did. So it's time for you to go on, too."

When Spider woke up she felt rested. She remembered the dream and smiled.

"What?" Carrie asked. She was pulling on her robe.

"Just thinking how lucky I am. To be with you, to love you and to have you love me. Whatever happens now they can't take this time that we're having right now away from us. Do you know what I'm saying?"

Carrie smiled back at her and nodded. "Let's worry about what's going to happen when it happens." She took off her robe and lay back down beside Spider.

Spider held her close, enjoying the way she felt in her arms, imprinting it in her memory for a time when she might not be able to hold her. "I want you to meet a friend of mine."

"Right now?" Carrie asked in a disappointed tone of voice.

Spider laughed. "No, not right now."

Carrie looked down at the sleeping man in the bed. "Maybe we should come back later when he's awake," she whispered to Spider.