STRANGE SCIENCE FICTION AND FANTASY OMNIBUS (2 page)

The USA military campaign was brilliantly directed. The landing spot, just south of Morocco’s largest city, Casablanca, was not guarded by any government security forces, so that the invaders could debark unhindered. Unfurling their black banners, they then advanced northeast toward the Moroccan capitol of Rabat.

News of the invasion rapidly spread, and Moroccan troops were dispatched to stop it. Despite greatly superior numbers, the invaders had little difficulty in continuing their progress, aided by massive defections from the Moroccan Army. Many Moroccan soldiers shed their uniforms, donned the three piece suits of the invaders, and joined their ranks. This was true even more with regard to the Moroccan officer corps, many of whom had secretly been seduced from their loyalty to the King of Morocco. by the thought of being able to wear their hair in a crew cut style, and by a desire to see their wives and sweethearts in miniskirts.

Rabat fell to the invaders after the briefest skirmishing, the defenders melting away or joining the revolution. Around the world, USA groups, both overt and clandestine, hailed this success. In sudden, unexpected strikes, USA adherents seized power not only in Baltimore, Maryland but also in Manchester, England, and Halifax, Nova Scotia.

The fall of Baltimore to USA militants raised concerns in world capitals that the threat to existing order was potentially deadly. The manner of USA’s treatment of the population of Baltimore, the most important city yet under USA sway, was considered to be a litmus test of their intentions. Initially, USA ruled with a light hand. No sooner had the city, and its surrounding area been brought under full USA control, then the situation changed radically.

Males who refused to shave their beards, adopt the crew cut style haircut, and don three-piece suits, were summarily executed on the spot. Women fared no better. Crew cut USA warriors broke into private residences, and questioned all women they found as to why they were home, rather than working in an office. Any women whose skirts were deemed too long had the garments cut off far above the knee. As a clear signal to all who saw them that they had sinfully violated Burrows’ doctrines, their eyebrows were ruthlessly shaved off. Perhaps the greatest barbarity, was the case of some fifty odd females found at home, who were dragged out at gunpoint, loaded aboard packed vans, and carted to Harvard University, where they were obliged on pain of death to study for graduate degrees.

As news of these events flashed around the globe, the various world leaders reacted in characteristic fashion. In Washington, D.C., the President rejected suggestions that he add USA representatives to his Cabinet, instead ordering his security forces to use fire hoses and tear gas to drive USA supporters that had been camped in Lafayette Square. A significant number of the government troops, revolted by this deed, shed their uniforms and deserted to the USA. USA troops slowly encircled the American capitol, raising fears in foreign quarters that Washington’s defenses would collapse.

British Prime Minister David Cameron, stung by the loss of Manchester to USA, charged that British security was being eroded by the influx of illegal immigrants, via the Common Market countries, and ordered the tightest controls on immigration since the end of World War II. The reaction was not limited to the Western nations. The Iranian President made an emergency trip to Israel, where he urged the Jewish State to forget its difficulties with Iran, and join in a common effort to combat the USA menace. which was threatening both nations. As an added inducement, he suggested the two nations should jointly cooperate in the development of nuclear weapons. Similarly, Russian President Vladimir Putin, and Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko, whose nations had been less troubled by USA attacks, due to concentration on other internal matters, flew together in Putin’s personal jet to Washington, where they unsuccessfully urged the American President to broaden his government.

If the loss of Baltimore, Manchester, and Rabat to the USA was unexpected, the USA takeover of New York City was even more so. The residents of that metropolis awakened one morning to see the black USA banner flying above all government buildings. Journalists who questioned the residents of New York City, about their reactions to the takeover, were told, only in private, that New Yorkers certainly did not agree with all USA ideology, but preferred it to that of the government in Washington.

As the world now waits apprehensively, to see if the USA will somehow be contained, or if it will grow to encompass the entire globe, it is too early to reach a definite conclusion. That will have to be the work of later generations of historians. All that can be concluded at this time about the events of the Washington Spring, is that the forces that shape the course of civilization are often determined by trivial events.

Russian President Vladimir Putin was not a happy man. It is true that he held in his own hands more power than that exercised by the Tsars in the last years of the Romanov dynasty. It is also true that not only did he control vast resources as president, but he could obtain as much more as he might desire by applying pressure to the oligarchs who dominate the Russian economy. And of course the Russian Federal Security Service, the domestic replacement for the former KGB, could be counted upon to eliminate ny opponents he could not intimidate or bribe.

Still he had his problems, he was well aware that if too many of the oligarchs combined against him, he might have difficulty in prevailing over them. Similarly, he also had to carefully monitor the personnel of the internal security apparatus to ensure they remained completely trustworthy. He even had to consider somewhat the attitude of the West, since access to Western markets and capital made it easier for him to expand the Russian economy, and strengthen his popular support. But the thing that troubled him most was the lack of anyone he could completely trust.

Musing on this problem one day, the Russian President recalled something he had seen in a recent Hollywood movie about Washington politics. One of the characters had said, “If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.” Putin suddenly realized this was the solution to his problem, he would get a dog. As president, he had no difficulty in implementing this decision immediately. One of his aides brought in several suitable candidates for the position of presidential dog, and Putin chose one, a Russian wolfhound, whom he called Pushkin, after his favorite Russian author.

Pushkin quickly came to occupy an important place in Putin’s affections. The dog was given his own bathroom in the Kremlin next to Putin’s office. He slept on Putin’s bed at night, sat at his feet at the dinner table, and traveled with Putin in his limousine each morning from Putin’s residence to the Kremlin. His diet consisted of prime quality steaks accompanied by such tidbits from Putin’s dinner table Pushkin chose to consume.

As he sat at his desk studying state documents sent to him, trying to decide which policy option would be the most effective; Putin occasionally would talk to himself. One day as he did so, Pushkin looked up at him and began barking loudly. Putin was shocked; this was not typical of the dog’s behavior. Then it dawned on him. Pushkin was laboriously trying to communicate with him via Morse code. Putin grabbed a pad and .transcribed the dog’s comments. He realized Pushkin was giving him advice in response to the problem the president had raised while talking to himself.

Putin looked at Pushkin’s words and decided that the dog had given him sound advice. He followed it and everything went perfectly. Naturally, the Russian President began to discuss all his problems with Pushkin and follow the dog’s guidance. Since he was completely sure of Pushkin’s loyalty and intelligence, there was no reason to do otherwise. Naturally, it was too unwieldy to have lengthy discussions concerning complex matters with Pushkin via Morse code. Putin devised a system to phrase his side of the discussion with the dog as simple yes or no questions which Pushkin could answer briefly with one bark for yes and two for no. Everything went well.

Then one day everything changed. Putin asked his canine advisor the best tactic to use in dealing with a planned opposition political demonstration against his holding another term as president. The dog barked once and Putin therefore ordered the internal security service to crush the planned rally. This decision proved to be most unfortunate. Many of the demonstrators were injured and a few killed as a result of the heavy handed tactics employed by the Federal Security Service. A storm of criticism of Putin and of the Russian government erupted around the world, and the Western nations were provoked enough to temporarily impose measures which slightly reduced the profits of the major Russian corporations.

Putin shrugged his shoulders over the incident. His faith in Pushkin’s advice was not in the least diminished and he continued to depend on his policy recommendations. A few days later, the situation was repeated. Pushkin’s suggestions as to the proper course to follow in dealing with a major American petroleum corporation also turned out to be wrong. Did this weaken Putin’s dependence on the dog for advice? Not in the least.

Although Putin entertained no concern over these events, the same could not be said for the Federal Security Service. Its chiefs knew they were in bed with Putin. If his increasing number of policy failures caused a lack of popular backing for the Russian President, it could reach a point where he would be ousted. And if Putin were forced from power, he might be replaced by a ruler who would reorganize the internal security apparatus and remove the current leadership. Naturally, this was a calamity to be avoided at all costs.

The internal security apparatus secretly began a detailed surveillance of Putin and of Pushkin. After some time, its officers discovered the problem. Pushkin had a flea. When the flea bit him, Pushkin became distracted and devoted all his attention to removing it from his tender parts. At such moments, Pushkin could not give the necessary attention to what Putin was telling him. If the Russian President was unfortunate enough in his timing to pose a question while the dog was scratching, he would give the first answer that popped into his mind, usually one bark for yes.

Having ascertained the problem, the internal security chiefs had to come up with the proper solution to this delicate problem. They knew that it would be too hazardous to discuss it openly with the Russian leader. Therefore, they summoned the best field operatives from the Russian Foreign Intelligence Service, their old colleagues from the days before the Soviet KGB was dissolved. The elite officers selected for this activity were the Foreign Intelligence Service chiefs in Washington, London, Bonn and, Beijing. The four officers flew to Moscow to discuss and jointly come up with a solution.

The four went over the delicate problem, but could not arrive at a common solution. Some favored assassinating the dog, others assassinating the flea. They even brought in from Bulgaria a top agent they had employed to kill some political figures with an implement camouflaged as an umbrella, whose tip injected a poison which left no discernible trace in the victim.

As it happened, while the discussions were under way, the Foreign Intelligence Service chief in Malta, who had been back in Moscow on vacation, happened to pass by the room and overheard the discussions. He was a relatively junior official and did not have much of a reputation with the senior security officials. But he was extremely clever.

The Malta chief knocked at the door and entered before he could be ordered to keep out. “Comrades,” he said, as he had been taught to call his superiors during the Soviet era, “I could not help but overhear your problem and I have the perfect solution.”

“What is it?” they cried in unison, forgetting this breach of protocol in a desire to have the answer to their dilemma.

“It’s simple,” came back the reply. “Don’t assassinate the flea. Turn him into a double agent. We keep him in place and feed him the answers to give to Putin. Not only do we prevent Putin from getting the wrong advice, we give him the answers that are best for us.”

“That’s a fine idea,” said the chief from Washington. “But how do you recruit a flea?”

“Aha,” came back the answer from the Malta chief, who had not the least idea. . “I certainly can’t reveal to you the tactics I’ve employed with so much success in Malta to secure excellent flea agents. It would violate all of the basic security rules. And you comrades have no need to know.”

The four chiefs had to agree with this statement. They gave the Malta chief a week to handle the problem. They didn’t have to spell out the details about what would befall him if he failed: not only he, but his entire family and all of his friends and neighbors would be sent to work in the Siberian mines for life.

Well aware of his opportunity and also of his peril, the Malta chief set out furiously to solve his problem. With careful surveillance, he determined that the flea was happily married and returned home each night to his wife. The flea had no known weaknesses and was a faithful husband.

Fortunately, the Malta chief was up to the task. He recruited the most voluptuous female flea courtesan, who was susceptible to large bribes, with the promise that her father would be released from a Siberian labor camp if she succeeded. It was arranged that she would encounter the flea on his way home to his wife after leaving Pushkin. She used all her wiles on the flea. He found himself in her room making love with her. He was unaware that all of this was being recorded by a hidden camera.

The flea had his pleasure with the courtesan and went home to his wife, feeling embarrassed by his behavior. He felt even worse when the next day he was picked up by two internal security officers and taken to their headquarters. Shown the embarrassing photos, graphically illustrating his adultery with the flea courtesan, and informed these would be shown his wife unless he agreed to cooperate fully, he had no choice. He was a broken flea. He agreed to become their agent, body and soul.

Today, Putin contentedly goes on following Pushkin’s advice. The dog by and large gives sound advice to the Russian leader. Occasionally, the flea is instructed to bite Pushkin when the internal security service wishes him to take a course they believe best.